It was late in the afternoon by the time Levi and the other guys had cleaned up the “mess” at the bar. Dax had gotten back into town and gone to see Kat. He smoothed things over with her, promising to not only replace what they’d broken, but give her enough money to refurbish the place. The regulars that were in the bar were “asked” not to say anything to anyone about what happened there and so far, the rest of the Street Chaos crew hadn’t reared their ugly heads. The Skulls were all sitting in the great room now while Dax laid down the law of a lockdown on the ranch. From what he said, it had been a long while since that had happened and judging from the look on Dax’s wife’s face, she wasn’t happy about it. Levi still didn’t know a lot about Angel, other than that she was an attorney and she used to be a cop. He’d like to hear the story of how that happened someday, but right now he had much more on his mind. While Dax talked, Levi’s mind wandered. He saw that he had a missed call and a message from Zoe earlier, but so far things had been so hectic, he hadn’t had time to listen to the message. He was anxious to know what she called about since it was the first time she had called him since he left. He’d called her a few times and the conversations always left him feeling like she was doing her best to push him away. She’d talk about school and work and her grandparents, but never about how she was feeling. He honestly had no idea how she was really doing.

Dax finally wrapped up the meeting and Levi headed to his room. He needed a shower, desperately, but the first thing he did was sit down on the bed and listen to Zoe’s voicemail. The sound of her voice still did things to his body and for a few seconds he just reveled in that, and he didn’t hear what she was saying. He rewound the message when he heard Susie’s name and listened again. Once he heard the news, he felt like his heart was breaking for an entirely different reason than missing Zoe. He also felt guilty for not being there. It was his fault that Zoe even knew Susie in the first place. His hands were shaking as he pressed in Zoe’s number. On the third ring, he was beginning to get worried that she wasn’t going to pick up. When she did, the sound of her voice once again made him forget what he was doing.

“Hello?” she said for a second time. “Levi?”

“Hey,” he had to clear his throat. “I’m sorry, Zoe. I just got your message. How are you?”

“I’m good. Susie took the news better than I think most six-year olds would.”

“You were there?”

“I’m the one that told her. Papa thought it might be better for her to hear it from me, since I knew what she was feeling. I think he was right. We talked for a long time and she was upset, of course…but I think she’ll be okay.”

“You’re amazing.”

“Stop. No, I’m not. She’s a sweet kid and she deserves better.”

“She’s lucky you’re in her life. Jesus, Zoe, I walked away from all of you…”

“Levi, please. You didn’t walk away from anything. You went to start your life over. You barely knew me and you barely knew Susie…”

“Stop saying that. Stop saying I barely knew you. Zoe, I was so comfortable with you. I felt like I knew you forever and that was what scared the hell out of me. That night…”

“Levi, don’t…please.”

“Why? You told me in your letter that it was too soon for us then. That was six months ago, Zoe. I can look to my future now and not feel guilty about it. So why can’t we talk about us? Are you with someone, is that it?”

“No, Levi, I’m not with anyone. But the timing is still not right. We’re two thousand miles apart.”

“That can be fixed.”

“What are you going to do, change clubs again?”

“You can come here. Zoe, it’s so nice here. Mom and Pops came for a visit two months ago and they’re still here. They don’t want to leave. There’s a college not twenty miles away, you could transfer your classes after winter break…”

“Levi…we never even had a chance to date. There is still so much that we don’t know about each other. Neither one of us is ready to just move in together and go from there.” He could hear the tremor in her voice. He wished that he knew if she was upset because she wanted to be with him, or because she wanted him to leave her alone. He was afraid to ask.

“We don’t have to live together, just closer. Dax has all kinds of property out here. He’s renting a little house to Mom and Pop and we could find one for you too. Please, Zoe, don’t just say no. I miss you. God, I think about you all the time. Do you miss me, at all?”

She was quiet for a long time. Finally, in a shaky voice she said, “All the time. But relationships are scary when they’re new, Levi. Imagine how scary it would be to pick up the life you worked so hard to build and start a new relationship at the same time, not knowing if either thing will work out.”

“I can imagine because if you don’t come here, Zoe, I’m coming back to you. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I want to be with you. Here, or there, it doesn’t matter. Krissy brought us together because we were supposed to find each other, she told me that. But she was wrong when she told me I was ready then and you were right, I wasn’t. I hurt you and that was the last thing I wanted to do. But I’m ready now, Zoe, and I believe with everything in me that you are my person, and I’m yours. Too many things happened to bring us together to not believe that.” He could hear her breathing, but she didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally, he whispered, “Zoe, I know you’re not her. I don’t want you to be. I will always have a place for Krissy in my heart. But, there’s a place there for you too, a place that’s only yours. You’re in my heart and my soul and I need you, Zoe. Please…give us a chance.”

* * *

Levi woke up on Christmas morning feeling empty inside. Zoe had told him she’d think about what he said. That was almost three weeks ago and he hadn’t heard a word from her since. He sighed and pushed back the covers. At least he’d get to see Susie. He had told Dax about her and when Dax went home and told Angel, she’d set about doing the legal paperwork for the teen center to take her in until they found a permanent home for her. At first Levi wasn’t sure that was the best idea. She was happy in the home she was in and he wasn’t sure how moving her again was going to help. Cody was the one that told Levi what Dax and Angel had been keeping from almost everyone. Angel couldn’t have kids, and she and Dax had been trying to adopt for over a year. Each time they got close to getting a child, something would fall through. Angel was becoming discouraged and depressed, and when she heard about Susie she told Dax she had a feeling that was why nothing had worked out for them so far. Dax wouldn’t deny her a thing, so he’d agreed to it. They had gone out to Tennessee to meet her at the beginning of the week, and Dax had just called the night before and said they’d be back in Massachusetts in time for Christmas morning.

Levi usually spent Christmas with his family and his mom would cook, but this year she and his Pop had been invited to the celebration at the ranch. Dax had bought a twelve-foot tree and put it in the lobby of the teen center, and the kids had spent the past three weeks decorating it. Since the club was still on lockdown, a lot of the guys had gotten into the spirit too. The end result was a mixture of ornaments with too much bling: homemade bells and angels and Harley Davidson symbols and parts. Levi saw it the night before when he’d gone over to help unload the food the girls were cooking up for Christmas dinner. It looked like they had bought out every store in town.

He took a shower and got dressed as he reminded himself of all of these things. He was part of something good here and he was going to get to see Susie again…and there was still hope that Zoe might come around. He put on his kutte and a leather jacket it before going downstairs. The great room was almost empty and the two old guys there were in the midst of what looked like a serious game of chess.

“Is everyone at the center already?” he asked them. One of them nodded, the other put his finger to his mouth and pointed the other one at the door. Levi smiled and shook his head. Just before he went out the door he said, “Merry Christmas.”

“Shh!” was the reply he got from the guy with the finger, but the other one said:

“Merry Christmas, kid.”

It was freezing outside. Levi was still getting used to the difference in the temperature between the East Coast and Tennessee. It had been snowing all week, and Dax was sure that was why they hadn’t heard anything from Street Chaos. It was too cold for retaliation, especially since they’d have to drive all the way up to the ranch to carry it out. Levi pulled his gloves out of his saddlebags and put them on, and then he slipped on a wool beanie and scarf his mother had made for him. The hat was gray and had an orange HD in the center of it. The scarf matched it, and it kept his face from freezing when he rode. He was using his feet to push his bike backwards out of the slippery, snow-covered driveway when he saw a car coming up the long dirt road from the gates. He felt a tickle of anticipation when he realized it was Angel’s SUV. He was looking forward to seeing Susie again. He stopped and waited for them to park. It was only seconds before the back door flew open and the little redhead came tumbling out.

“Mr. Levi!”

Levi smiled and got off his bike. She was dressed in a pair of wool tights and a long-sleeved shirt, but she didn’t have on a hat, coat, or gloves. As he wrapped her up in his arms, Angel got out of the car, carrying the little girl’s outerwear. “Hey, you’re going to catch pneumonia.”

“Mr. Levi will keep me warm.” Levi laughed.

“It’s good to see you, Susie. I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

“My mama died.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry. You better let Angel put your coat on, okay? Then we can talk.”

“Angel is going to be my new mommy. Isn’t that funny? Her name is Angel…like our angel.”

Levi felt his eyes sting with tears as Angel pulled the little girl out of his arms to put her coat on her. “Yeah,” he finally said to Susie with a lump in his throat. “That is funny.”

“I have something for you,” Susie said, wiggling around so much that poor Angel looked like she was wrestling with an octopus.

“You do? I have something for you too,” he said. “I bought you a Christmas present. I was going to mail it to you…but here you are.”

She smiled. “Yay! I like presents. But that’s not what I have for you. Zoe has it.”

“Zoe has it? You didn’t bring it with you?”

“Yes, Zoe brought it.” Angel finally finished getting her coat and hat on her and Susie ran back toward the car. Levi looked at Angel and she smiled and looked toward the car. When Levi saw Zoe climb out of the back seat of the SUV he felt like he was seeing a ghost all over again.