Chapter 11

Gunner

“How are you holding up?” Cessy asks. I jump, knocking against the bike I’m working on nearly sending it crashing to the ground. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she says with a laugh as I reach up to steady Prez’s bike.

Prez threw me a bone when he told me I could work on it. He’s trying to give me something to keep my mind off of baby girl, but he’d still kick my ass if I got a scratch on his ride.

Cessy leans against the standing tool chest lining the wall. Her belly is taking over her small frame. She stares at me, waiting for me to say something, anything, but I don’t know what to say.

It's been two weeks since Lilly left, and we’re no closer to figuring out where the hell she is. Snoopy is still trying to find her, but at this point, all we know is her car ended up in an impound lot in Flagstaff, Arizona.

We know someone has to be covering her trail. Seems the hotel she was staying at magically had all of their surveillance wiped in some freak electrical thing. Who’s doing it? No one’s fucking owning it, and it's driving Snoop up the wall. Me? I just want to know she's okay.

“Earth to Gunner,” Cess teases.

Rubbing my neck with a sigh, I tell her, “Sorry, Cess.”

“You seem to be in your own head a lot lately. Or out here working on the bikes,” she says motioning to the handful of bikes I’ve already fixed any and all problems on.

“The bikes are easier right now. If I'm not busy, I'm thinking about every what if. What if she’s hurt? What if he found her? What if she got herself in some other kind of trouble? Then the other questions come. Why did she run? Did she think we couldn’t protect her? What if that’s the last time I see her?”

“Okay, okay I get it. Slow your roll for a second,” she says throwing her hands out with a light laugh.

Waddling over to the stool I'm sitting on, she puts her hand on my shoulder. Kind eyes peer down at me. “You’ll drive yourself crazy if you keep doing that, Gunner. Right now, we all have to have faith that Lil knew what she was doing when she left. Out of all of us, she's the most level-headed. There had to be a reason she left.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” I huff out under my breath glancing away from her.

“What do you mean,” she asks as her brows draw down.

“I fucked up,” I admit, standing from my seat.

“What do you mean?” she asks, putting a knee on the stool I just vacated.

“Ugh,” I exclaim grabbing my hair. “I can’t have that be the last time I see my baby girl, Cess. Can’t let those be the last words I say to her. I just can’t. The hurt. Fuck, the tears,” I ramble as I begin to pace the garage.

“Alright, I'm trying to follow here, Gunner, but I think I’m missing something.”

With a sigh, I look at the ceiling. “After her party, I took her home.”

“Ok, I know that. Rose had her car.”

“She wants more from me than I can give her. She deserves more. Nothing will ever be good enough for my baby girl. Not even me,” I say shaking my head.

“Woah, hold up a second. What do you mean she wants more?”

“I made a stupid comment about Vic thinking we were doing things we shouldn’t be and hurt her feelings. She wants something with me that I just can’t give.”

“Were you doing something?” she asks with a raise of her brow.

“No,” I exclaim. “I know my baby girl is off limits. Havoc would have my head. Besides I get it she deserves more than all this,” I say gesturing to myself then the bikes surrounding me.

“Now just you wait one damn minute,” she scolds walking over to me. Cessy gets right in my space her baby bump the only thing keeping her from getting any closer. Glaring up at me, she says, “Lil can make her own decisions. No matter how much Havoc may hate that. Who she loves is her choice. And why in the hell would you think you’re not good enough for her, huh?”

Before I even have a chance to answer her, she continues, “If it was in your power would you ever let anything happen to her?”

“How can you ask that? She’s missing, Cess.”

“That’s by her own doing, Gunner, and no fault of yours. Did you do everything you could to protect her?”

“You know I did.”

“Would you purposely ever do anything to hurt her?”

“Never,” I exclaim.

“Do you love her?”

I can’t even answer her. I know the answer is yes, but saying it out loud. I just don’t know if I can.

She pats my shoulder. “To love, honor, and protect, Gunner. That’s what every girl like Lil wants. And you already do all that. Havoc will come around.”

Cessy turns to leave me with my thoughts, stopping when she reaches the doorway. She stands there for a second holding the door jamb before looking back at me. “Um, Gunner,” she says.

“Yeah, Cess.”

“Can you get Venom for me? I think it’s time.”

“Time?”

“Time,” she says, pointing to the puddle forming at her feet.