Alicia

“Are you excited to start your job tomorrow?” Maddie’s sweet voice fills the room.

I pick up my curling iron, wiping it down with a wet cloth. “I guess. I mean, I don’t know.” I blow out a breath. I’m sitting at my kitchen island with my hair tools spread out before me, some soaking in disinfectant while I wipe the others down. A strawberry smoothie sits beside me, my sweet tooth craving a fix.

“What’s wrong, A? You don’t seem like yourself. I thought you were happy to have a new job and stay put.”

Yeah, I told everyone I was happy. Am I?

Not one fucking bit.

My mom’s illness is a toll on me, my days filled with either working or caregiving.

Worry rolls through me on a constant basis while I try to keep up with everything.

“I was. I mean, I am. Oh, I don’t know, Mads. My mom is only getting worse and taking care of her is exhausting. I’m staying here for now. I need to be here for her. The city can wait. It’s not going anywhere.”

“Why don’t you take your mom with you?”

“I wish it were that simple. All her doctors are here and her friends who help out. I need to be here for her. And if that means working at this salon, that’s what I’ll do.”

“You do what you feel is best, A. Please remember, even though I’m an ocean away, I’m here for you. Call me, vent to me, whatever. I’m here.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” I finish wiping the last tool before setting it back in my bag. “Who knows, maybe a hot man will come into the salon and sweep me off my feet.”

We both laugh. My mind drifts to the man at the shelter.

My insides tingle as I picture his eyes boring into me. He stalked over to me like I was his prey, and fuck if it wasn’t hot.

It was hot.

It was fucking hot.

He had to open his mouth and ruin it.

What a jerk.

I focus back on my conversation. “How’s Jax and the baby?”

Maddie blew out a breath. “Good, good, everything’s good. Besides my boobs leaking, my body drained of all life and energy, and did I say my boobs leak?”

My loud laugh fills the room. “Damn, girl. I’m sure that has got to suck.”

“You’re telling me. Any type of crying and it’s like a faucet explodes. The other night during sex, I squirted Jax in the face by accident.” Maddie’s sweet laugh carries over the phone, mixing with the shriek of her baby in the background.

“Parenthood is crazy, huh? Sounds like you’re being paged now.”

“Shh, shhh, baby,” Maddie soothes. I hear a suckling noise and then silence. “There ya go.”

I smile, my eyes growing wet. I’m so proud of how far she’s come. I can’t wait to visit.

“You’re amazing, Maddie, you know that?”

“So are you, A. So are you.”

* * *

“How you doing, my A plus girl?”

I chuckle at my mom’s nickname for me. She hasn’t said that to me in ages, yet it’s like it was just yesterday when she would ask me how her A plus girl was doing every day I came home from school.

Even after our life went to shit, she may not have said it as much, but when she was home, she still did.

“I’m doing okay, Ma.” I tuck the corners of the soft blanket around my mother’s body, her frame so much thinner than it used to be. The cancer continues to eat away at her. “I’m starting my new job in a couple of days.”

She cracks a smile at me as she takes my hands with her own. “No need to fuss over me, A. That’s what my nurse is for.”

I sit in the chair next to her and give her a look that says, “I can fuss all I want.” I want to take care of her like she took care of me all by herself. Even when my dad was around, he wasn’t taking care of me. He was too busy involved in one thing—himself.

A squeeze to my hand brings me back to the present. “Are you excited for work?”

I nod at the same time my stomach does a flip. No, I’m not excited. More like shit my pants nervous.

“I guess, Ma. It’s going to be strange. I’ve worked for myself for so long now. I feel a bit intimated.”

“Don’t worry, A. You’ll do great. Besides, that new salon is lucky to have the best hairdresser in town.” My mom throws me a wink before taking a sip of her water.

“I don’t think I’d say the best, but thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Of course you’re the best, A. Don’t be silly. Is Ruby still going to New York?” Mom’s eyes droop, her round of painkillers she just took starting to kick in.

“Yep, she leaves next week. I’m going to miss the shit out of her.” I look away as the reality hits me.

Again.

It’s not like I haven’t thought about it every single day.

Ruby has been here by my side since we met over our cold grilled cheese sandwiches on our first day of kindergarten. Oh, and who can forget our matching My Little Pony thermoses of lukewarm tomato soup we both had.

It won’t be the same around here without her.

I was supposed to be going with her. Living my life. Living my dream.

A wave of sadness and guilt crashes over me. My mom can’t help she got sick. She can’t help her stage four breast cancer came rushing back full force out of nowhere after being in remission for two years.

My life has to be put on hold while I take care of her. Nurse her back to health.

I can’t lose her. No way. No how.

I’m so afraid it’ll happen.

If she gets better, the two of us can finally get the hell out of here.

The sound of gagging rings through the air, and I turn my head just in time to see my mom lose her lunch over the side of the bed.

I jump up and grab her trash bucket. I hand it to her before moving behind her to hold her hair and rub her back.

After a few rounds of vomiting and dry heaving, she collapses back against her pillows, taking small sips of water I offer her through a straw.

Within minutes, she’s fast asleep. I don’t move from her chair. Instead, I hold her hand and pray.

I’m not the religious type, but sometimes it just feels damn good.

I pray for happy and healthy futures.

For dreams and a full life.

Mostly, I pray to be able to breathe through another day. One minute at a time.

* * *

“Here’s the employee area where you can take your breaks and eat. We have a fridge and microwave over there. Feel free to use them.”

Deanna, my new coworker, is giving me a tour of the salon. Too bad I can’t focus much on her words. Her floral perfume and her big beehive of a hairstyle have kept my mind elsewhere.

Like getting the fuck out of here.

For some reason, this place is creeping me out. The walls are dingy and painted brown. The decor is on the modern side but scarce and not enough to brighten up the place.

The smell of nail polish remover is pungent and mixing in with Deanna’s perfume it makes for a nauseating combination.

How in the hell am I ever going to survive here?

“Well, come out when you’re ready. Your first client is at ten.” Deanna disappears through the door, leaving me alone in the dark break room. I glance around for a light switch and when I spot one on the far wall, I walk over and hit it, but nothing happens.

No lights?

I sigh and take one more glance around the room before I make my way to my area.

My boss sits in the front of the store, his eyes darting around the room. There are two other women working in the salon. Deanna is across from me and Sandy is next to me, a young blond woman who looks fresh out of high school.

I busy myself with organizing my area and setting up my tools how I like. A few people come and go, some stopping in for nails or others to make appointments. Sandy and Deanna each take a client just before my own appointment walks in.

One look at her big, poufy hair and I know I have my work cut out for me.

Welcome to day one.

* * *

The rest of the day passes quickly, my schedule pretty full. I had clients back to back with only a quick half hour for lunch. Sandy and Deanna were busy too.

I wonder if they’ll be hiring another person because this salon is pretty busy for just opening.

How long have they been open anyways?

I sweep up the rest of the hair, clean the chair and my counter. As I turn around to get my dust pan, I slam into a hard mass, knocking me off balance, and I grab the chair to steady myself.

“What in the hell?” I mutter, but when I look up I bite my tongue. My boss is glaring down at me, his face mere inches from mine.

“I...I’m sorry, Mr. Dorsey,” I stutter, my cheeks flaming red. “I didn’t see you there.”

“You should be a bit more careful, Miss Rego. Or should we go to a first-name basis, Alicia?” His eyes dart down my body, and my blood runs cold.

This guy gives me a bad feeling. A very bad feeling.

“Uh, first names are fine. I was just cleaning up to go.” I grab the broom, tossing him a smile for good measure.

He takes a step back, a grin crossing his face as he continues to watch me. What’s up with this guy?

“I was coming by to see how your first day went. I like to know how all my girls do and make sure they’re satisfied in every way.” His eyes flash, and I freeze in place.

Could he be any more blatant right now?

He’s messing with the wrong chick.

“I had a great day, Mr. Dorsey. Thanks for checking. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” I drop the broom, grab my purse, and head for the front door. “Have a good night.”

I glance back to see him standing there watching me, not one blink or movement from him. Before I reach the door, I look for Deanna and Sandy to say goodbye, but they’re nowhere in sight.

Weird.

Something is up with that place. Or rather, with my boss.

Fuck, what have I got myself into?

One day, one minute at a time, A.

I hop into my car as I shove a hard candy in my mouth. I turn the engine over, letting the car warm up before blasting the heat. Sugar soothes my soul and right now, it needs some serious soothing.

My goodbye dinner with Ruby is this weekend and dread fills me at the thought of her leaving. I’m going to miss her so much.

I breathe out, pushing the anger away. Then I crank up my music, pop another hard candy in my mouth for extra flavor, and peel out of my spot.