Summer …

Bone-deep exhaustion had Malia Adams dragging her muscles around like someone had tied twenty-pound weights to her. She nearly tripped off the bus and hitched her backpack tighter over her shoulder. All she wanted to do was get a decent night's sleep tonight. After a full day of classes and two back-to-back shifts, all she could think about was the siren call of her bed.

Luckily, she'd used her front desk shift to get work done for her project so she could just grab a shower and fall into bed.

Wait. Cookie first then bed. She'd bought herself a treat from Uncle Biff’s Cookies for acing her econ paper.

Damn, she could almost taste the chocolate. Uncle Biff’s Cookies were practically orgasmic. And considering the state of her love life, a cookie was as close to an actual orgasm as she was going to get. As she turned onto her street, she nearly ran into her next-door neighbor Mrs. Wilkes. "Oops. Didn’t see you there. Guess I was busy thinking about chocolate. You okay?” Her neighbor shook her head. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I knew he was an asshole, but I never thought he'd do something like this."

Malia frowned at her. "I'm sorry—what?"

"Your roommate? Rocco. I just can't believe he would put you out of your own place." Malia's belly went into free fall as beads of sweat popped on her brow. “What?"

Mrs. Wilkes eyes went wide, making her look like an emoji. "Oh sweetheart, you didn't know?"

Malia shook her head. "Sorry. I have to go." She took off at a dead run down the street toward her shared bungalow. When her living situation changed last year, her landlord had helped her find a room for rent. She mostly just needed a place to sleep, shower, and store her stuff. When she rounded the corner, she saw Mrs. Wilkes was right.

Rocco had put most of her meager belongings out on the lawn. "What the hell are you doing?" she yelled as she ran up to him. She didn’t have much. But she had her books and clothes. By now, she'd learned not to keep mementos. Because things could be so transient.

He had the good sense to look sheepish. "Malia, I didn't think you'd be back for a while."

"You didn't think I'd be back for a while? So you thought you'd just throw me out when I wasn't here?"

"Look, it's nothing personal. The thing is, Trudy, she wants you gone. She feels weird having you here."

God. Fucking Trudy. The girl had been a thorn in her side since Rocco started dating her earlier this summer. She'd been irritated with Malia at every turn, wanting to know why Rocco was living with another woman.

"Rocco, I need a couple weeks to find a place. You can't kick me out like this. Where am I supposed to go?"

"That's up to you. Look, this was a favor to Mr. Bola. But right now, I have to put Trudy first. Sorry about this."

"I paid you rent for the month! How is this even legal?"

He shrugged then pulled up forty dollars for her. "That should cover the rest of the month. And you aren’t on the lease."

Shit. He was right. "I have nowhere to go."

He shrugged. "Sorry. Not my problem.” And then he went back inside the apartment, leaving her on the sidewalk with her backpack, garbage bags, and her schoolbooks.

Now what the hell was she supposed to do?

* * *

Zephyr Donovan read the letter again. 

Dear Mr. Donovan,

We would cordially like to invite you to submit your application to the Tanashi Fellowship Program. Given your record at Columbia, you would make a great addition to the team. We, Hokuto and Hiro Tanashi, really hope you accept this opportunity. It is not often that we personally write to a potential fellow, but in your case, we hope we can do great things together.

Best,

H&H Tanashi

Zephyr read the rest of the letter. Was this real? Could this be trusted? Is this what you want to do? 

Ever since the letter arrived for him last week, he'd been thinking about it. The Tanashis were freaking billionaires. What did they want with him? 

It's an opportunity you should take because you can't keep doing shit the same way. You can't stay where you are.

He couldn’t keep having the same nightmares. He couldn’t stomach the pitying looks of his family. This was a chance for a fresh start. 

His father knocked on his bedroom door and Zephyr glanced up. "Hey Dad."

"What's that?"

Zephyr took the letter and waved it. "This is an invitation for a job—for a fellowship actually."

His dad nodded. "Well, it is that time. You've got what, a year left at Columbia for your master's? Now is the time to be looking at jobs, opportunities."

What his father wasn't saying was that even if he had a job offer right now, it would take a good two years before he was ready to take it. What his father wasn't saying was that the job was too good to be true. And that's because he was his father. At the end of the day, he believed in him, or wanted to anyway, despite how many times he'd fucked up. 

And you fucked up a lot in the last year, didn't you? 

Zephyr scrubbed a hand on his face. "The letter is from Tanashi Corp. I've been offered the opportunity to apply. They wrote to me personally. What the hell am I supposed to tell them? That I'm too fucked in the head to take it?"

His father's brows snapped down. "What did you say?"

"Sorry, I thought Mom wasn't home." Zephyr's mother, Sera Donovan, was known to cuff the back of anyone's head who dared swear in her house. She said when they were all of age and old enough, they could say whatever they like. But as long as she still had young ones in the house, no one was to swear. And, considering that she was terrifying, everyone listened.

"No. Not your mother. Who did you say the offer was from?"

"Tanashi Corp. The Tanashis are fucking billionaires. I'd be an idiot to not consider the offer, or at least even write back and tell them something. Shit. What would I say?"

His father was quiet—too quiet. Zephyr slid him a glance, only to find that his face was white. He'd gone completely pale. "Dad, what's wrong?"

His father shook his head. "Look, I think that you need to focus on the task at hand. You’ve had a lot of setbacks this last year. You're only just now starting to get a hand on everything. I think taking on a fellowship or anything like that is a risk."

Zephyr frowned. "I know it's a risk. I know I'm probably not ready. But, I mean, come on Dad, at least sound like this is remotely exciting and you sort of believed I could do it."

His father frowned. "Zephyr, I have faith in every single one of you. It's just in this case I feel this isn't the best move for you. You're just starting to get your life back together after—"

"After what Dad?" Zephyr knew that neither of them needed to say it. What his father couldn't bring himself to add was after you fucked up. After you bit off more than you could chew and someone got hurt. Zephyr swallowed hard. There were days that he could still smell the blood. There were days that he could still feel the sting of the knife.

He shook his head. "Dad, I know exactly what I've been through. I also know that the idea of going back to Columbia legit gives me hives."

"Zephyr, it's fucking Columbia University. That's a big deal."

"You think I don't know that? You think I'm not well aware of that? I went there for my undergrad. Because of my professors, I chose to stay for my master's. I know what a big deal Columbia is. And since when do you care anyway? You've always said that wherever we wanted to go, whatever made us happy, you'd support it. Now you care about the damn school name?"

His father cursed under his breath and then out of habit surreptitiously looked around for his wife. "Listen to me. Columbia is where you belong. This past year notwithstanding, you loved every minute of it. So let's just get you back to where you were."

"Dad, I'm never going to be back to where I was. I can still see it. It doesn't matter how much therapy I have, it doesn't matter how much I can pretend that everything is okay. I can still see it. I can still taste the blood seeping through my mouth. I can still feel it. That's never going to go away. I still live with knowing that even though I knew how to fight, how to defend myself, I still lost. She still lost." He waved the letter. "This, this is a chance for me to start fresh. Carnegie and Columbia have a partnership. I can see if the fellowship allows me to finish my course work. Or if it counts toward continuing my course work, I should seriously consider this." He hadn't realized how badly he wanted a fresh start until he just said it. Maybe it was running away, but God, he could really fucking use it right now. 

"I didn't raise a quitter. Besides, at least at Columbia, your mother and I are close. In case anything—"

"In case anything happens you mean? Dad, I'm twenty-three. What happened this last year was shitty. Yeah, I was a mess. I still am. But I don't need my fucking parents babying me. I have to move on with my life at some point. This would help me to do that. Even you have to see that."

"You're not moving on with your life. You're just running away from it for a while. Those demons are still going to chase you until you deal with them."

Zephyr stood off the bed and glowered at his father. He hated that he still had to look up to the man. But when your father was six feet three inches tall, there was no avoiding that. He was six foot one himself. But somehow, his father had a way of making him feel like he was a little kid. "I need this. I need to feel like I'm not all fucked up and broken."

"You're running. It's a mistake."

"Yeah, well, mistake or not, I'm doing it. You going to try and stop me?" 

His father glowered at him. "Well, looks like you've already made a choice, right? Never mind what your mother and I would think about this. Never mind that we are terrified for you. You will have to be the one who tells her."

"What is wrong with you? I'm telling you I need to do this, and you're acting like I'm doing something to you."

His father shook his head. "It's your life, Zephyr. Make the decisions. That also means that you bear the burden of the mistakes."

Zephyr's heart pinched. Direct— fucking—hit. But instead of backing down, instead of prodding his father for all the reasons, Zephyr doubled down. "Great. Since I'm already the family fuck-up, I wouldn't want to disappoint anybody. I'm doing it. I'm going to send my portfolio today. Since they wrote to me personally, I kind of think that I'm on their short list."

Instead of the anger he expected in his father's eyes, all he saw was sadness. Then his father shook his head and left Zephyr’s room without another word.