Chapter 9

Molly

Anxiousness fills my blood as I sneak down the stairs. The guys came back late yesterday evening, telling by the squeals coming from Lynch and Zoe’s room.

“Breakfast?” Lynch grunts just as I reach for the doorknob.

“I don’t have time to eat,” I explain without pulling my hand from the door.

“Work requires a backpack?”

“Fuck,” I grumble as my hand drops heavily at my side and I turn around to face my nosey-ass brother.

“I’m cooking,” he says as if seeing him standing at the stove over a skillet with a spatula in his hand didn’t explain without words.

“I’m not hungry.”

“The backpack?”

Never one to be redirected, Lynch turns around to fully face me.

“I have a date,” I hedge, giving minimal information in the hope that he’ll just leave it alone.

“With the vet?”

I could cut Boston right now for meddling in my damn business.

“Correct.”

“Pretty tight-lipped this morning, aren’t you?”

“In a hurry is all.”

I grow nervous under his scrutiny. He has a way about him that makes me want to spill all my dirty secrets. It’s a good thing I’m still able to resist because as much as he wants to know every single detail of my life, there are some things that will tear this club apart, and he’s not ready for that information.

“What do you know about this guy?”

“Less than you, I imagine.”

Unable to escape the inquisition, I drop my backpack near the door and pull out a bar stool. Sitting heavily, I lean in, resting my chin on my closed fists and wait for him to get all of his questions out of his system.

“You don’t have to work.” He pulls the skillet from the burner and turns the stove off.

I don’t respond as he plates the scrambled eggs and begins working on putting bread in the toaster.

He waits me out, remaining silent as I just stare at his back.

Sighing, I give in to the pressure to speak. “I want to work. I’m bored just sitting around here all day every day. At least I’m being productive in my spare time.”

“Working outside of the clubhouse brings certain kinds of danger, Molly. You know that.”

“I refuse to stay trapped here.”

His shoulders stiffen. He’s unaccustomed to others telling him what they are or aren’t going to do in his kingdom. He gives a command and expects everyone to roll over and obey. What he may not be aware of is that I’ll leave this place before I’m sequestered here like Zoe. She loves sticking close and being at his beck and call, but I don’t get to lie on the warm chest of the man I love every night and make plans for our future. I’m alone, between cold sheets, trying to forget my feelings because all they do is cause pain.

“You’re not trapped. I just want you to be safe.”

Grumbling my displeasure, I straighten my legs and begin to stand from the stool.

“Sit,” he commands.

Glaring at him with as much frustration as I can manage on my face, I park my ass back right where it was.

“We need to talk about your safety.”

“I can defend myself,” I mutter. “I have a knife, my taser, and pepper spray in my purse. Not to mention, I know you’ll have someone watching me constantly, and you track my phone like I’m a tagged bear in the wilderness.”

“I’m not talking about your physical safety.” Looking uncomfortable, he rakes his hands over the top of his nearly black hair before he sits on the stool beside me. “I want to discuss your sexual health.”

“Fuck this,” I snap and stand again. “I’m not talking to you about the fucking birds and the bees.”

His arm reaches out and clasps my elbow before I can get away. “I know Cowboy never sat you down to talk about this, and as much as I’m not looking forward to this conversation, it has to happen.”

“I know all about sex, Eric.”

I can feel the heat burning my cheeks, but I take the seat beside him. I know I’ll never get away from him now. When he’s focused on something, it’s just better to suffer through and pretend the conversation never happened, exactly like the conversation we both endured when I got my period while Piper was away.

His eyebrows raise at my declaration, and I can damn near see the steam coming from his ears.

“Before you lose your shit, keep in mind that the clubhouse isn’t exactly a convent for reformed sinners. I caught TJ fucking one of the girls when I was thirteen.” I can’t even meet his eyes. Why is this so damn embarrassing?

“You know the logistics,” Lynch agrees, but as if too stressed to sit still, he stands from the stool and walks around the counter to a bag I hadn’t noticed before. “You’re eighteen, and as much as the thought of you having sex with someone makes me want to spill their blood, I know it’s going to happen.”

He holds out the box in front of me. Staring in horror, I can’t even begin to gain the courage to reach for the pack of rubbers he’s gripping in his hand.

“You have to be safe. This place isn’t fit for babies anytime soon. I had TJ grab the multipack because I don’t know what the vet is working with.” He swallows thickly as if even the thought of me having sex with someone causes bile to rise in his throat.

My cheeks are on fire at the thought of my other brother being involved in my deflowering, even though the prospect of sleeping with Owen hasn’t even crossed my mind. Could this fucking day get any worse?

I’m still gaping at the bright blue box of rubbers when the door opens and closes.

“What’s up?”

“Fuck my life,” I moan at the sound of Briar’s voice as he enters the room and walks around so he can see both of us.

“What the hell is going on?”

Great, just what I need.

“I was just talking with Molly about her sexual health.” Lynch shakes the box, unrelenting until I take it from his hand.

“Am I in the Twilight Zone?” Briar stares between his best friend and the prophylactics in my hand. “A couple of days ago you were ready to kill anyone that got near her. Now you’re giving her permission to just go out and fuck anyone she wants.”

Briar’s got some balls to bring up whatever happened between the two of them after Lynch caught us with our lips on each other in the hallway.

“I’m not giving her permission to fuck anyone.”

“Handing her rubbers is permission to do just that,” Briar argues as he reaches for the condoms and tries to snatch them out of my hand.

“She has a date tonight.”

Briar’s hand freezes mid-grab, his eyes finding mine for the first time since he joined this happy family moment. “A date? The vet?”

“Jesus, does everyone know my business?”

Briar spins around, glaring at his best friend. “You’re giving her permission to fuck the vet?”

“I’d rather her be prepared than end up knocked up.”

Briar growls, but my brother either didn’t hear him or is pretending it didn’t happen.

While the two of them are distracted talking about my non-existent sex life, I shove the box in my backpack and lift the strap back over my shoulder.

Briar is visibly trembling, fists clenched at his sides as he glares at me when I turn back to tell them goodbye. I wonder what he would say, how he would react if my brother wasn’t in the room.

“This isn’t a good idea,” Briar says through clenched teeth.

“She has to grow up eventually. Maybe dating the vet is a good thing,” Lynch says as he turns and places the plate of eggs in the microwave to be reheated.

“Something else on your mind?” I whisper to Briar.

“You shouldn’t sleep with someone just for the sake of sex,” Briar hisses low enough so only I can hear him. “It should be with someone you care about.”

My teeth grind for a long moment before I can open my mouth to speak. “The man I care for doesn’t want anything to do with me, and he told me to find a good man to spend time with. Owen is adorable, good-looking, and he has a job that he can speak freely about. His secrets aren’t buried under a decade of lies and sins.”

Briar’s face falls before the mask I’ve grown to hate slides back in place.

“He sounds perfect for you,” he tells me with false assurance.

Without another word, I walk out.

When I’d first heard his voice, even in a moment of embarrassing clarity, I’d wanted to tease him, taunt him about my date, hoping it would force him into action. He didn’t turn and tell my brother that he’s the only one worthy of using those condoms on me. He closed himself off and wished me well.

My stomach is in knots by the time I reach my car, but after the drive into town and singing along with a bitter woman about moving on and getting over her past mistakes, my back is straight, and my head is held high.

Who actually meets the love of their life when they’re fourteen anyway?