Chapter Eighteen

Adrian

 

Bad memories plagued my dreams. The admission to Perrie about Katie had made for a fitful night’s sleep, but by the time I woke up, I knew, ultimately, I was right.

Perrie was a million Katies. She was selfless and honest, kind and sweet, and whatever had happened in her life to push her into prostitution had been beyond her control.

There was an alternative. There was always an alternative, but I understood how she felt like there wasn’t. Maybe there was a reason why there wasn’t for her.

I needed to know more about her. I fucking craved it.

How had Perrie Fox fallen from grace?

It was the burning question.

I had the feeling I had to work for the answer. I’d told her about Katie last night because she needed to understand why I did the work I did—why she’d never ever have been in danger.

I’d never have let anything to happen her. I wasn’t kidding when I’d told her that I’d have broken his neck before he could hurt her. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t feel bad for not telling her the whole truth, because I did, but the fact was that I couldn’t. Sam never should have told her, and he’d heard it from me for doing that.

I understand why he did. Hell, Perrie could be intimidating. If she wanted something, she was gonna whatever it took to get it. Everyone else be damned. She was a force in her own right, and that was one of the reasons I couldn’t get enough of her.

Now, I squinted as the creaking of the door disturbed me. Sitting up, I froze as a heart-wrenching, terrified scream sounded.

Instinct kicked in. I jumped out of the bed, almost knocking Perrie to the floor as I did, and scanned the room for the danger.

Lola stood in the doorway, eyes wide, shaking, clutching Dolly to her chest.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re in Mommy’s bed!”

Just like that, I deflated. Falling to sit on the edge of the bed, I buried my face in my hands.

Perrie burst out laughing.

“Mommy!” Lola shrieked. “Why is he in your bed?”

“Jesus,” I breathed.

Perrie coughed, still laughing. “Lola. Oh, pumpkin. It’s okay. Come here.”

I dropped my hands.

Lola skirted through the room toward Perrie, glaring at me. “Mommy. I want to know why he’s in your bed.”

“We had a sleepover. It’s okay. I promise.”

Lola looked between us, nodding, until—“But where’s Zac?” Horror crossed her features. “Oh no! Did the dinosaurs get him?”

Perrie pressed her lips together, fighting laughter, and pleaded with me to answer.

“No,” I said, pulling my gaze to the little blond girl on her knee. “He’s with my big sister. He had a sleepover there. I promise, the dinosaurs didn’t get him.”

“Hmm.” She eyed me speculatively. “I’m not happy about this.”

“About the sleepover?”

“Mommy,” she said, turning back to Perrie who now had a very careful, flat expression on her face. “We’re going to need rules. If you have sleepovers with Adrian, I need sleepovers with Zac.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes. That’s only fair, Mommy. We both get sleepovers or nobody does. That’s how it works.”

“Is it, now?”

I covered my mouth with my hand.

“Well, yes. I’m very upset I can’t play with Zac, and you’ve been playing with Adrian!”

Holy fucking shit.

I couldn’t look at Perrie. My shoulders trembled with restrained laughter, and if I looked at her, that would be it. Lola was presenting a very compelling argument, and I couldn’t deal with that on so little sleep.

“Well,” Perrie started. She paused. “We didn’t play…”

“I bet you did! I know adults have secret play fights.”

“Secret play fights,” Perrie echoed, confusion in her voice.

“Uh-huh.” Lola hopped up, arms folded, Dolly forgotten on the bed. “Sasha said she was at her daddy’s house and she went into his bedroom and he was playing with the neighbor in their bed. Her daddy said they had watched the fighting and they were having a playfight.”

“Uh-huh. Maybe we shouldn’t listen to Sasha and her daddy anymore, okay?”

“Why? Did you have a real fight and not a play fight?”

I reached for my jeans and tugged them on, barely getting up. I leaned back on my hand and looked at her, then patted the bed in front of me. She climbed over and knelt in the spot I’d just picked for her.

“No fighting happened, okay? I finished work and come to see your mom, then we watched TV, and she said I could sleep over because it was late. Is that okay?”

“No,” she said flatly. “You didn’t bring Zac.”

“He was already asleep at his aunt’s house,” I explained. “How about tonight? I don’t have to work tonight, so why don’t me and Zac sleep over here?”

She tapped a finger against her lips. “Can we sleep at your house? You have the mine game.”

I slid my gaze to Perrie. She looked at me, helpless.

“I have an idea. Why don’t we get dressed and pick up Zac for breakfast, then me and Mommy will talk about it, okay?”

“Fine.” She slid off the bed, grabbed Dolly, and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Really, Mommy, you should say yes. You owe me for last night.”

Perrie stared at her in disbelief as she skipped out, happy as you like, and turned down the hall to her room. Slowly, she dragged her attention to me. “Well, that was awkward.”

I grinned. “Wanna play fight?”

She hit me with a pillow before standing up. “I wasn’t expecting her to get up already. Will Zac be awake, or should we wait here for you?”

“He should be up.” I reached for her hand and pulled her down onto the bed with me.

“Adrian. I have to get—”

I shut her up by covering her lips with mine. “Dressed, I know,” I finished for her, peering down at her. Yesterday’s make-up smeared in black shadows under her eyes, and her lipstick was smudged and cracked. It only added to the wild, sleepy look that her messy hair gave her.

She looked tired, but she looked beautiful, too. As beautiful as anyone could look in the morning with panda eyes.

“Come stay tonight,” I said in a quiet voice. “Let Lola and Zac play. I’ll grill in the backyard and we’ll set up the pool and then we’ll watch movies and shit.”

“And shit,” she said.

“That’s what will happen when they go bed. Last night was a preview.”

“I don’t know.” She hesitated, pushing herself up to sitting. “I just—I don’t know, Adrian.”

“Come and have dinner at least.”

“That’s sneaky, because then you know I’ll give in to Lola when she ultimately begs me to stay over.”

Shit. “Yes. I know.” I grinned.

She pursed her lips, but they twitched, giving away the smile she wanted to share. “I have to think about it. I have stuff I really need to think about today.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Stuff?”

“Yeah, stuff.” She shifted uncomfortably.

“You wanna talk about that stuff?”

“One night of sex and now you’re my therapist?”

I danced my gaze over her body—her pert tits where her nipples were obvious through her shirt, and the thing strings of the thong that disappeared when she bent forward. “I can help you with therapy in every way but talking. I can fuck the frustration out of you, if you’d like.”

She blushed and got up. “Stop it.”

“Are you going to stay tonight?”

“I told you I’ll think about it.”

I grabbed my t-shirt and stood, intercepting her on her way out of the door. With a smile on my face, I said, “No. I won’t stop it, then.” I tapped her nose and kissed the corner of her mouth, stepping away before she could do anything.

“You play so dirty!” she shouted.

“Who does? Is someone in the yard?” Lola followed up.

I stopped halfway down the stairs to laugh.

“Mommy? Who’s playing dirty? Can I play, too?”

I glanced up to see Perrie pinching the bridge of her nose. “You’re doing nothing until you have underwear on. Go. Now. Get dressed.”

“But—”

“You can’t sleep at Zac’s if you don’t get dressed.”

Lola shriek-gasped. “’Kay!”

Perrie gripped the railing, leaned over, and pointed a finger at me. Her look told me to not dare say a word, so I didn’t. I grinned instead. A big, fat, shit-eating grin while she sighed.

Adrian: One. Perrie: Zero.

For now.

 

***

 

“Is the dress still necessary?” I muttered, stabbing a pancake with my fork.

She glanced at the kids, both of whom had their faces shoved in the screen of Zac’s tablet. “What are you talking about? It’s a dress. It covers a lot of me.”

The fact I knew what was under it aside, that was part of the problem. “If it you get a gust of wind, everyone will see.”

She shot a pointed look out of the window. “Oh, yes. It’s practically a hurricane out there.”

I offered her my own pointed look—but mine was withering.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s only because we’re here. I’ll be wearing yoga pants the moment I get home.”

“Yoga pants are quite restrictive.”

“Actually, they happen to be the better half of jeans.”

“That wasn’t the restrictive I meant.”

“I know what you meant—I’m simply choosing to ignore it.”

I sighed. “I’m starting to remember why I haven’t dated in years.”

Zac perked up at that. “Are you dating Perrie, Dad?”

“No,” Perrie said at the same time I said, “I am now.”

Zac frowned.

Perrie glared at me. “We are not dating.”

“Are we at a breakfast date?”

“Well, yes, but so are the kids, and—”

“Breakfast. Date,” I said, putting extra inflection on the final word.

Lola sighed. “First a sleepover with no play fighting. Now you don’t know if you’re being gross adults.”

Zac wrinkled his face up and looked at Lola. “They had a sleepover and I wasn’t invited?”

Fucking hell. Here we go.

“Yes,” Lola answered, shoving a strawberry in her mouth and biting so juice trickled down her chin. “I woke up this morning and they were in the same bed and it scared me.”

“Please wipe your chin,” Perrie asked her.

“Ewww,” Zac replied. “That’s not fair. Why did they get a sleepover and we didn’t?”

“Because you were at your aunt’s,” I answered.

“It’s definitely not fair.” Lola bit into the strawberry again, squirting more juice. “But Mommy said we can have one tonight if we got dressed, and I did.”

Yes. She did get dressed—into hot pink shorts and a lime green shirt. Perrie had argued with her for ten minutes over the color clash before Lola informed her she was a grown-up and able to choose her own outfit.

It had been too much stimulation over coffee for my liking.

“We should play Minecraft and stuff criminals in holes again,” Zac said, tapping at the tablet screen and starting a new episode of whatever insanity-inducing kids program they were quietly watching.

“Lola, please wipe your face,” Perrie tried again.

“We should put my mom and your dad in a hole until they figure out if they’re dating or not.”

“That’s not—”

“Cool! I think I have spades. My yard is big enough for that.” Zac nodded.

“Do they need food?”

“Maybe. We could throw cookies and chips in.”

“Okay, but I might eat them first.”

Zac patted Lola’s hand. “We’ll carry extra.”

Lola beamed.

My attention flicked back and forth between them during that whole exchange. Perrie looked mildly concerned at their rapidly escalating plan, so I decided it was my turn to step in and put a stop to it.

“Okay, Zac? What are the rules about throwing people in holes?”

“Only in video games,” he muttered.

“Aw.” Lola pouted.

“And we are definitely dating. Perrie’s just being silly.”

The woman in question said, “We’re not dating, okay? We’re friends.”

Friends who are dating.

“See? I think she hit her head last night when she was sleeping.”

Lola’s gaze flitted between us and she leaned over, into Perrie. “Mommy, he is very handsome.”

“He gets that from me.” Zac puffed out his chest.

Perrie bit her lip. “He sure does. Look at your muscles.”

“I know, right? John Cena is jealous.” He held his arm to the side and flexed his “bicep.”

She leaned over and gave his arm a gentle squeeze. “Wow—my goodness. You are so strong.”

Zac beamed with delight. “Oh, Lola, this is my favorite bit! They’re about to become the Power Rangers.”

Perrie picked up her coffee. “This is the most dysfunctional breakfast I’ve ever had.”

I snorted into my own mug. “Join the club.”

 

***

 

Having kids isn’t for the light-hearted or the impatient. Or those who actually like to be listened to once in a while.

The pool rules were simple. Don’t run, don’t dive, and don’t drown.

Of course, that meant my son, the daredevil, ran, dived, and almost drowned.

Fuck, almost drowned was an exaggeration, but the inch-long scrape on his leg wasn’t. I’d tried telling him that our above ground pool wasn’t like his nan’s and he couldn’t dive into it, because he had to climb into ours, not just jump.

Adult logic was too much for him, because that’s what he’d done. Given himself a running start, scraped his leg on one of the poles in the frame, and then belly-flopped into the pool. I wasn’t quite sure how he’d managed any of it, but the cut had looked worse than it was, and Perrie had patched it up pretty swiftly.

He was now back in the pool with Lola eying him somewhat warily, given the splash his disaster had created. Perrie was inside on the phone somewhere, and I was on the porch, cleaning out the grill.

Today had been a day full of craziness. After I’d dropped Perrie and Lola at home to get an overnight bag, I was halfway around the grocery store when my sister called and wanted to know where her car keys were.

The answer? The bottom of Zac’s backpack. Somehow. One delivery later, Zac had spilled his mouth about Perrie last night, this morning, and tonight, and Amie had given me the third degree five times over. She’d even left with a threat that she was going to stop by.

That was the last thing I wanted. Although I’d spent the morning teasing Perrie that we were dating, the truth was, we probably weren’t. We weren’t single people who could slowly get to know each other and do it gradually.

We’d been thrust together by our jobs, and this wasn’t a normal situation. Not to mention the fact we both had kids. Slowly getting to know somebody wasn’t necessarily an option, because children were full-steam ahead or no-steam ahead.

And our kids?

They were full-steam ahead, lightyear speed.

That made it so much harder for us. I’m sure that if it weren’t for our kids being friends, she wouldn’t be here right now. I hoped that assessment was wrong, but Perrie Fox wasn’t the kind of woman you could sweep off her feet with one night of great sex.

It would have been easier if she was, but she was anything but easy. And I knew that her heart, her soul, who she really was beneath everything else, was something worth waiting—and fighting—for.

And I wanted to do that.

Wait for her.

Fight for her.

I had nowhere else to be, nowhere else I even wanted to be. Right now, I only wanted to be with her. Peel back those infuriating fucking layers she kept herself buried under.

If life were a beach, she’d be a turtle’s egg, buried under millions of grains of sand. It would tease you a hundred times before you got a real glimpse of it. Once you’d uncovered those, you’d get to her.

More than anything, I wanted her to know that she was safe. She would be safe with me. Always.

I checked on the kids in the pool and, seeing they were okay, put down the scrubber for the grill and headed inside. My hands were covered in coal ash from where I’d cleared it out, so I made my way to the downstairs half-bath to wash my hands.

“I’m nervous,” Perrie said from the other room. “What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

I stilled, staring toward the door. It was ajar, allowing me to only see the tiniest slither of my office through its opening.

“I know that,” she continued. “But that doesn’t make it easier. I haven’t seen him for years, Dahlia.”

Dahlia.

I knew that name. It wasn’t exactly common—there was only one Dahlia I knew of in Las Vegas, and she was at The Scarlet Letter bar, a place my team had never had to frequent.

Perrie sighed. “Abby said she’d interview me first thing tomorrow, but I need to get a sitter for it.”

My eyebrows shot up. An interview? Was she applying for a job there?

“She doesn’t know you. It’s not fair on either of you. I can fix it.”

A pause.

“No, you don’t need to push it. I can handle it. Honestly.”

Another pause.

“Fine, but I reserve the right to change my mind. I just…I don’t know how to talk to him now.”

Talk to who?

“’Kay. Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I darted into the bathroom and scrubbed my hands.

Perrie leaned against the doorframe. “Learn anything interesting?”

I grabbed the towel. “Uh…More questions than answers.”

She pursed her lips, but there was no anger in her gaze. Instead, she sighed, slumping against the frame. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.”

I stuffed the towel back onto the holder. “If you wanna talk about it…”

She collected the towel, folded it, and hung it back up.

I smirked, following her out of the bathroom.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it, I just don’t know if I do,” she said vaguely, stepping out onto the porch. The laughter of our kids as they splashed each other in the pool made us both stop.

Lola, with her hair in a bun, screeched out spine-tickling giggles as she sent water in Zac’s direction. Zac half-slipped as he stepped backward, but his answering laugh as the droplets splayed all over his face warmed my heart.

I smiled, and noticed Perrie doing the same. Despite the emotion that tightened her eyes and drew grooves in her forehead, her lips curved, and I knew she loved she sight as much as I did.

Perrie sighed yet again, taking a seat on the swing Zac had insisted I buy. She sat back, sinking into the soft fabric coating it, and swung gently, using one foot to control it.

“Last week, I got a call from someone I used to work with. Before Lola was born.” She flashed me a glance, but I pulled coal from the bag and started stacking it. “He wanted me to meet with him, so I did.”

“That didn’t strike you as weird at all?”

“Well…” She hesitated. “Fergus is a flamboyant gay, so no, not exactly.”

I snorted. “Fair enough. What happened?”

“He’d basically tricked me into meeting with his boss, Dahlia Lloyd.”

“I thought I recognized that name. The Scarlet Letter, right?”

“You know her?”

“We’re not friends, but we’ve met. Part of setting up our task force was familiarizing ourselves to the bar owners.” I lit the coal and turned to face her. “Carry on.”

“She’s dating my brother. She wanted to meet with me to see if there was a chance for reconciliation. I told her he was the reason we no longer had a relationship.” She chewed down on her lip, her teeth causing it to go white. “Long story short, she told me a whole bunch of stuff that made me rethink the way I feel about him.”

I leaned against the wall, waiting for her to continue. Emotion flitted across her face, as if she were trying to put it into line to be able to explain it to me. Like she had no idea how she felt about it herself.

“I’m so confused.” Her voice was soft. She dipped her chin, sending her gaze to the wooden boards of the porch floor. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. He’s my brother, but I hate him as much as I love him. Is that normal?”

After another glance toward the pool to confirm the kids were okay, I sat on one of the chairs opposite her. “I think so. I’m pretty lucky. I’ve never really fallen out with Amie. We’ve fought, but not to this point.” The question lingered on my tongue, until… “What happened between you?”

She sighed, leaning right back. The gentle swing of the seat stilled with the touch of her toe to the floor. She blinked, resting her hands on her lap, staring up at the top of the porch.

“I remember when I took the pregnancy test. I was two weeks late. I was terrified.” Voice still small, she was perfectly still as she spoke. “I told her dad before anyone else. Dennis was equal parts scared and excited. We weren’t exactly serious. It was a total accident. He took it pretty well, but he didn’t want to change his lifestyle there and then. I was young, dumb, and hopeful that he would change when she was born.

“I was wrong. Two weeks to the day after I told him we were having a baby, he got so drunk and high that he drove head-on into a tree. He died pretty much on impact. That was the day I knew I was alone and had to tell my father and brother I was pregnant.” She nibbled at the skin of the side of her thumb. “My so-called father responded by telling me I was stupid. That I was the biggest idiot and that he was thankful I didn’t have his blood because no way would his real child be so stupid.”

My fist clenched in anger.

“Never mind his real daughter was a druggie.” She snorted, looking at me. “He was determined I’d have an abortion. Nobody with the Fox name would have a bastard baby. I thought my brother would help me, but Damien agreed with him. That I was stupid. That I needed an abortion.”

“Fucking hell.”

“I stayed long enough to withdraw some serious cash from my account and secure a rental. Soon after I left, I had to move into the house I live in now because Benedict blocked my accounts. My mom had left a percentage of the business to me before she committed suicide, but Benedict managed to cut me off completely.”

That made so much fucking sense. Why she was a Fox without money. Why she’d done what she did to make it. She’d been backed into a corner by the people who should have loved and protected her before all else.

Anger.

I was angry.

I was disgusted and frustrated and angry on her behalf. How dare they treat her that way? How fucking dare they tell her to kill her baby and cut her off from the only thing she’d ever known?

I didn’t know why she was adopted. I didn’t know what had brought her into the Fox family except that Benedict wasn’t her father—and that was explanatory in itself—but it didn’t answer all the questions.

And I didn’t fucking care. Not for a goddamn second.

All I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and promise that she’d never be alone again. That she and Lola wouldn’t suffer for her family’s choices any longer. That they’d always be safe with me and Zac. That no matter what happened, we would be there to hold their hands and stroke their hair.

All I wanted to do was tell her how fucking special she was to me.

How badly I needed her in my life.

But I couldn’t, because she wasn’t done.

“My brother was cold and calculating. Benedict two-point-oh. He’d been my protector against our father’s cruelty for years, but that day, he dug in the knife and twisted it.” Her voice was basically a whisper. “Last week, I learned he regretted it. Ever since I estranged myself from them, he’s had me watched. Had an investigator keep tabs on me. Every six months, a check shows up at my door, and every six months, I send it back.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want his money. I never have. I’ve only ever wanted my brother back.” She swallowed hard. “I found out last week that he’s been running a college fund for Lola since she was born. She can access it when she’s eighteen. I refused his help, but he still extended it to her. And he’s only ever seen her once.”

My eyebrows shot up at that.

I knew of Damien Fox.

Of course I did. The ruthless businessman, the cold-hearted predator, the sharp, analytical guy behind Vegas’ superpower, second only to the mob.

All above board, much to the LVPD’s frustration.

Except the woman in front of me. She flouted the rules one hundred percent, and I was the reason she wasn’t in a six-by-six cell waiting prosecution.

I would never regret the decision to let the stunning, sobbing blond out of my car. Because now I knew her heart, and the only thing purer than her heart was that of a child’s.

She was broken and burned, harmed and hurt. My instinct had been right. I still didn’t have all the story, and I didn’t care if I didn’t get it all. Not right now. I was satisfied that I’d been correct in the choices I’d made—for her.

If I had to, I’d make the same one tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that.

I’d make it every single day until I died.

I would always let her go—unless it was personal.

I didn’t think I could do it now.

I wanted her. Wildly. Crazily. Desperately. It was an insatiable desire that would only be cooled by the heat of her body against mine.

Perrie Fox was destined to be mine.

There were no two ways about it.

She was mine.

End of.