Chapter Two
Dalisay Calamba Cortez skirted into her home and dragged in a deep breath. Her heart was pounding, and she found little comfort in the familiar noise of the street filtering into the apartment she shared with her mother. Navigating the streets of Manila at midnight was a different beast than in the middle of the day. She’d barely evaded a group of swaggering young men that spelled nothing but trouble for a lone woman.
“Dali, is that you?”
“It’s me, Ina. I’m home.” She set the bag that held her phone and wallet on the rickety end table by the door and threw the deadbolt.
The slithery sensation that plagued her on every walk home danced along her spine. She shivered. The small lamp flickering on the end table was as good as a lighthouse, signaling that there may be danger in the area, but there was also a shore offering safety.
Her mom came out, her robe tucked tight around her petite body and her straight black hair tucked into a bun. Dalisay had hit five feet and maxed out, but that was still a few inches taller than her mom. Despite her height, Mari Cortez, her dear Ina, had the swagger of a six-foot-tall man.
Ina blinked into the kitchen light. “You shouldn’t be working so late.”
Dalisay agreed. “I was promised a raise if I took the evening shift manager position.” She should’ve worked the overnight shift. It’d be safer treading home in the morning with the early work traffic.
Ina clicked her tongue, her expression grim. “If your father found out you were on the streets by yourself close to midnight…”
Sadness tugged at Dalisay’s heart. Four years since his work accident on the bumpy province roads and the pain was finally lessening, or she was just used to it. Yes, he would’ve been indignant that she was putting herself at risk.
But he was gone, and so was his income stream. Their lower middle-class standard was dropping. She and Ina would have to move out of this apartment, which was in a fairly decent part of the city. An outcome she didn’t desire, and she suspected her mother wanted to stay in Manila as much as she did.
“It’s more money.” Dalisay cast a longing look toward her room, exhausted from a long shift. Her job at the internet café was as enjoyable as it could be. Customers were more concerned with what was on their screen than in her. Her coworkers were pleasing enough, although some nights were more difficult than others to listen to their optimistic outlooks of the future. But it was a decent job, since she couldn’t attend university as planned after her dad’s passing.
“Money isn’t everything. Your safety is more important.”
“I know, Ina.” Dalisay’s words rang hollow. But unless Ina planned to remarry—and since Dalisay had heard her muttering as if her father were in the room, she wasn’t—or Dalisay said her vows soon, their options were few.
She got hit on a lot at work. Having worked at the café since her dad’s death four years ago, she knew some of the regulars. Knew they were married or seeing someone. Knew that as they propositioned her, checking out her legs in her short black skirt, peeking through her transparent white blouse for a glimpse of cleavage, or more. It came with the job. Unfortunately, no serious romantic prospects came with the position.
She’d almost walked down the aisle two years ago when she was twenty-one. Until her cheating fiancé had showed his true colors.
I’ll pay her as a mistress. You won’t even know she’s around.
Uh-huh. The disgusting thought of sharing her man made her a little rage-y. She might be from the province, but she still expected her spouse to be monogamous. She’d flown out of primary school, fleeing an isolated life under her loving father’s gentle but firm rule, and hit Manila exactly like every other girl her age moving to the encompassing city from the rural areas of the Philippines.
The freedom had been exhilarating, though the smog had been stifling, the traffic loud, and it took a solid year to fall asleep to the constant horn honking resonating from the streets. Her father had worried, but she’d studied hard and his pride at her grades fueled his glow. Then he was gone.
Her mother’s family had swooped in to help, urged Dalisay to come back home as they cared for Ina in her grief. Her uncle, Peejong, had seamlessly filled the authority role her father had left.
Dalisay’s refusals had sounded weak compared to Peejong’s ill-disguised pleas to return home and help her mother. He worried about her in the city, was concerned about their finances, but by then Dalisay had met her ex.
Hindsight meant it was now clear how much she’d rushed things with her ex in an effort to stay at university. The warning signs that he couldn’t commit to, well, anything, had run rampant and she’d deliberately ignored them, convincing herself it was the grief and stress inciting her paranoia.
She’d steeled herself to stand up to her mother during their next phone call, when Ina had packed a bag, announced she couldn’t be haunted by her husband’s death, and moved to Manila to live with Dalisay.
The appearance of Ina had been as sudden as the loss her father, but not as disruptive. Apparently, Dalisay wasn’t the only female in her family looking for what else life had to offer.
Ina arriving loaded with two suitcases, and her smile only highlighted how much Dalisay had missed her family. That didn’t mean she wanted to move back to the province, though. Maybe someday, but not while she was young and single.
Nights like tonight when Dalisay could come home to a comforting face after a harrowing commute made her ponder how long she would’ve held out against Peejong without Ina.
“Good night.” Dalisay kissed the top of Ina’s head and headed to her room.
“Peejong called tonight.” Ina’s grave tone stopped Dalisay in her tracks.
Dalisay turned around. “Is everything okay?”
Ina rubbed her eyes. “He wants us both to move back.”
A beat of homesickness hit her. She missed her extended family and their farm in the middle of lush greenery. The rise of mountains, the clear air, and silent nights beckoned her, but where she was from, there was also a lack of jobs, fewer professional opportunities, and more family who thought they had a say in her future. Growing up amid all her kin provided a grounding experience, something she both missed and worked hard not to go back to. After nearly five years in the city on her own, it was also something she couldn’t readily go back to. Not without an anchor for herself so she didn’t get swept along with what others thought was best.
Ina folded her arms, her expression troubled. “He said he talked to Michael today. You remember their neighbor boy a couple of years older than you?”
Dalisay pursed her lips, knowing exactly where this was going.
“Peejong gushed about Michael’s accomplishments. He’s a mechanic; owns his own garage in Solano.” Ina shot her a pointed look. “And he’s single.”
“Did Peejong find all that out, or was it Sally?” If Peejong was a gale force wind, her aunt Sally was a hurricane. Except hurricanes were chaotic, leaving behind devastation. Aunt Sally was the steady wind that wore away centuries of granite, smoothing the surface to its preferences.
Peejong was Ina’s older brother. Therefore, Sally assumed responsibility for all his younger siblings. Ina never let on how much it bothered her, but her moving in was enough evidence.
Ina didn’t reply, but as was the way with her mother, what she didn’t say was filled to the brim with information.
Dalisay shook her head. “And I suppose Michael still lives around Solano?” He’d been a nice enough young man, but there’d been zero chemistry between them, and she didn’t want an empty marriage. Or a relationship strongly influenced by outside sources.
She wanted a union where she and her husband formed a strong wall against the outside world.
Ina didn’t say anything. The lamplight cast shadows across half of her face, deepening the worry lines at the corner of her eyes. Honks and bleats from Jeepneys filtered in through the thin glass windows. The cloying heat didn’t decrease much at night, but Ina had shut off the tiny air conditioning unit.
“The money is running out, Dali. In less than a year, we either move to the slums, or back to the province.”
The slums. Where shanties couldn’t keep out typhoon rain and winds and flooding was a constant problem. They could lose their home to a gust of wind and their belongings to anyone with more muscle than them. A giant loss of physical and mental security.
And if she moved back, she’d be beholden to Peejong and Sally and probably lonely enough to marry Nice Enough Michael. Ina would feel relegated to a burden, and her pride wouldn’t withstand that.
Then Sally would start on about how babies made the solitude easier. She had slipped in a few comments here and there when Dalisay had been engaged.
Yes, Dalisay wanted kids. Not necessarily with Michael. And what if Michael was seeing someone, or lacked as much interest as she did?
She’d lost her dad. She’d lost her dream of becoming a nurse. Now both she and Ina were facing the loss of their independence. Of something as simple as sleeping in separate rooms because the house at the farm wasn’t large enough for all of them. “The internet.”
Dalisay’s mouth snapped shut. Was she really going to suggest what came to mind?
No. Ina would never go for it.
“Yes?” Ina stared at her, as if sensing Dalisay might be forming a plan.
They couldn’t afford the internet on their income, but it was a bonus of working at the internet café. She had access off hours, and Ina got a discount for her own job hunt when she wasn’t selling at the market. It was how she could carry out the crazy idea that was forming.
“I can find a husband on the internet. An American. I’ll go there where you won’t have to worry about getting through the city at night.”
“But… Find a man online?” Ina shook her head. “Is that what you want?”
Dalisay had one friend in university who’d ran off with an expat. She lived in a village Dalisay couldn’t afford to visit. How was she doing? The man had been considerably older, but that didn’t make as much a difference in how he’d treated her friend. The last time Dalisay talked to her, she’d been happy, disgustingly so because Dalisay had just found out her ex had another girlfriend—but that had been before her broken-off wedding.
But what about leaving Ina? “What I don’t want is to work for Peejong and Sally the rest of my life. And you’d be free to find the housekeeping job you talked about.”
Ina hadn’t applied for any live-in housekeeping jobs because Dalisay couldn’t make the rent without her.
Ina glanced away. She was seriously considering it. Dalisay worried her lower lip. Find an American husband? But Ina would be free to find a job that’d give her a roof over her head, and Dalisay would look for a partner she could fall in love with someday.
She continued making her case. “Maybe I could go somewhere I could finish my degree.” Her heart jumped at the thought of getting her dream back, of being able to finally finish nursing school.
Could she do it? Marry a stranger? Be happy like her friend?
“I don’t know about this.” Her mom crossed to her and set her hands on her shoulders. “But I do know that I can’t stay up waiting and having small heart attacks every minute you’re late. And I can’t be the reason you go back home to be miserable. And I know you loved university.”
A beat of doubt went through her. If Ina was on board, this was more than a crazy plan. “And I can send money home.”
How would she know where to start? She’d heard about different outcomes than her friend’s good fortune. Horror stories whispered in the dark between her and her old friends about someone who knew someone who’d met a guy online and was never heard from again. Or someone who knew someone who knew someone else who’d met a guy online and had become nothing more than his personal sex doll that also cleaned house.
Meeting a decent husband was one thing. Getting sold into slavery was another.
Still, there were hundreds of women just like her who did it every year. But there was no way to know how it turned out for each of them.
Ina shuffled to a chair. Dalisay looked longingly at her room. Her feet were sore, and her adrenaline was waning after her trek home. Rest would have to wait. This was too serious of a topic.
Did the women who married and moved to America live in a place where they feared being out after dark? And were extra cautious during the day?
“I still don’t know, Dali.”
“I’ll be careful.”
“We’ll be careful. You’re not doing this alone.”
Dalisay smiled. “We’ll research the stories of how it went wrong and learn what to look for. There’s a better life out there for us, and we’re going to have to pursue it.” After a ton of research. Just checking it out didn’t mean she’d be married off as soon as she clicked. “If I stay and research, then I can walk home in the morning.”
A frown passed through Ina’s features. “I don’t like you being up all night, but it might be safer. I’ll go on my days off to check on the men interested in you.”
This was quite the turning point in her life. Within minutes, she’d gone from jilted bride barely making a living, to woman seeking an American man.
Because, like Ina, she wanted more for herself, and this city had a way of bleeding a person dry as the margin of middle class disappeared, but spooned a person enough freedom and possibility to make them stay.
Moving to America, though? With a man? For a man?
She missed intimacy, and she wanted love, but a stranger?
“Maybe you’ll find a guy here,” Ina said.
“How, when I’m working all the time? When there’s a hundred other girls throwing themselves at him?” Could she find a man she trusted?
Ina sat back with a sigh. “I guess we’re doing this, then.”
She could do this. For her family, for herself. There had to be a nice man out there to build a life with.
America, then.