Chapter Thirty-Six

Harry

My stomach was in knots. I hadn’t gone out with the guys last night even though I had told them I would. My plan had been to get drunk and try to dull the pain of Amber and William spending the weekend together in some luxury hotel. I hadn’t found the energy to leave my apartment. I’d ended up getting drunk all by myself and passing out on the couch. The alcohol had done little to dull the visions of her and William together. This jealousy was going to kill me.

I had decided at some point in the middle of the night to call her and try to talk to her one last time. I had to put her out of my head. I needed closure. I wasn’t going to try to compete with William. I could see it was hard on Amber, and I didn’t want to put her through the torment. I wasn’t like William. I didn’t know how to be a boyfriend. She deserved better than that.

Maybe William did love her and she would change him to be a better man. If that was the case, the right thing for me to do was to bow out and let them figure it out. I could do that, but I needed to have one last day with her.

“Hi,” I said when she picked up the phone. “Did I wake you?” I asked, hoping William didn’t hear her on the phone.

“No. It’s fine. What’s up?”

“Are you flying back today?”

“What?” she asked, a little groggy.

“Are you going to be back in town today? If so, I wanted to see if I could take you to lunch. I wanted to talk to you,” I said, hoping she didn’t shoot me down or William didn’t grab the phone and tell me to never call again.

“I’m home,” she said, catching me off guard.

“You’re home? Already?”

“I didn’t go,” she said. “I canceled at the last minute.”

I covered the phone with my hand and fist-bumped the air. The sudden movement reminded me of my binge the night before.

“Oh, I didn’t know. I thought you were in New York. Does that mean I can see you today?”

“Sure. What’d you have in mind?”

I smiled. I wasn’t going to say what I really had in mind. That was off the table.

“I wanted to grab some lunch and maybe go for a walk. Nothing serious,” I promised.

“I’d like that. When?”

I looked at the clock and realized it was a little early for lunch. “How about eleven?”

“That works. Do you want me to meet you somewhere?”

“No. I’ll pick you up,” I told her.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon.”

I could hear the smile in her voice, which warmed my heart. She had canceled her trip with William. I’d bet he was furious. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was eager to find out. I couldn’t wait to see her. I wanted to show her some of my favorite places to hang out. Most people assumed I was a barfly. I was, but the bars weren’t where I liked to spend my time. I wanted to share where I did with her. She would be the first person I would let in.

I showed up to her place a few minutes early. I felt like a kid going on his first date. I had the jitters and was so anxious, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to eat anything.

“You ready?” I asked, not able to take my eyes off her.

She was wearing capris that highlighted her shapely calves and a flowy blouse with shoulder cutouts. I had noticed that was a favorite style of hers. It flattered her. I looked at her feet and saw she was wearing a pair of wedge heels.

“I wanted to take you to a few places. We will be doing some walking. Do you have another pair of shoes you can wear?”

She laughed. “I do. Let me change.”

She disappeared and was gone for several minutes before she returned wearing a pair of flat sandals.

“Perfect!” I said with a grin.

“You didn’t tell me exercise was part of the plan.”

I fought the urge to kiss her. I was so happy to see her. I couldn’t kiss her. If I did, I had a feeling things would escalate quickly and we wouldn’t leave her apartment. I didn’t want to put her in a position that made her feel guilty, especially if she and William had decided to make a go of their relationship. A casual date was one thing. Fucking on her living room floor was another.

We left and headed downtown.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Reunion Tower,” I said.

“Really? I haven’t been there in forever. I think I went when I was in high school.”

“I love it. I love to go up at night and look at all the lights. It’s a nice place to relax when there aren’t a million tourists crowding the place.”

“I’m surprised you like it there. It seems so touristy.”

I smirked. “There’s a lot that people don’t know about me.”

I parked my car in a garage, planning to leave it there for the day. We rode up the elevator to the observation deck and stared out at the busy city below.

“It’s very pretty up here. I can see why you like it.”

“If it were later in the day, I would have loved to take you to dinner up here. It is certainly a different experience.”

She laughed. “I don’t know if I could eat while slowly spinning.”

I shook my head. “You don’t even really notice. Maybe one of these days we can have dinner here.”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

It wasn’t a commitment, but at least she didn’t flat out tell me no.

“Ready to eat?” I asked.

“Yes. I’m starving. Where we going?”

“Trinity Groves.”

“Ohhh, fancy!” she cooed.

I shrugged. “I like to stay low-key most of the time, but I do like good food. Are you okay with Amberjax?”

Her eyes widened. “Seriously?”

I nodded, hoping I hadn’t made a mistake with my reservation. I had a backup plan if it turned out she was allergic to seafood or hated it in general.

“We can go somewhere else if you want. I may have made reservations at a couple different places,” I told her, grinning with my revelation.

She shook her head. “No. I would love Amberjax. I’ve never been. I have heard a lot about it, though. I suppose you’re a regular?”

“I’ve been there a few times. The shrimp and grits are amazing.”

“Oh wow, that does sound good.”

We were seated quickly and both went for the shrimp and grits with a variety of appetizers. She scolded me for ordering so much food, but I wanted her to get the chance to try everything. I loved watching the way she smiled and made faces each time she tried something new.

“Ready to walk off our meal?” I asked her.

She laughed. “I hope you have a lot of walking planned. I ate so much!”

“The next stop on our tour is the botanical gardens.”

She burst into laughter. “You like the botanical gardens?”

I nodded. “I do. I love how serene it is there. It’ll probably be busy today, but during the week, I can go there and sit on a bench for hours and zone out. When I buy a house, I want one of those gardens. The house can be small, but I want a big garden.”

She was looking at me and smiling. “You’re amazing.”

I laughed. “I know.”

That made her laugh. We strolled through the gardens hand in hand. I pointed out some of my favorite trees and flowers and told her I was going to have those in my own garden. I had felt vulnerable admitting to my love of flowers and gardens, but she made me feel comfortable. I knew it was contradictory to the image I had put out for the world to see and judge. I liked keeping parts of me private. They were just for me to know and now her. No one else, besides a few of the staff, knew how often I visited the gardens. I also made it clear my membership was to be kept a secret. I wanted to support the gardens, but I didn’t need the world to know where to find me.

“I should probably be getting you home,” I said reluctantly.

She smiled. “I suppose.”

We made our way back to my car. On the drive home, we were quiet, both lost in our own thoughts. I had enjoyed the day. It was a good last day together, I decided. Tomorrow, I would tell my parents the engagement was off. It would make room for William to announce he was seeing her. I thought about planning a long trip somewhere far away. The south of France was nice this time of year.

I walked her to her door.

“Do you want to come in?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Sure, for a minute. I’m sure you have things to do.”

She smiled. “Not really.”

We stood inside her apartment, facing each other, neither of us talking.

“I should go,” I whispered.

She nodded her head but didn’t move away. I couldn’t leave without having one last kiss. I stepped toward her and paused, giving her the chance to tell me no. Her tongue darted out and licked her lips. It was the last of the self-restraint I had.

I put my hands on her face and tilted it up to mine. “I’m going to kiss you.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

I leaned down and gently moved my lips over hers. I meant to keep it soft and sweet. As soon as my lips connected to hers, all thoughts of soft vanished. Her lips parted, inviting me in. I pressed my lips harder against hers, my tongue plunging deep inside as I moved over her mouth. I felt like a man starving. I couldn’t get enough of her. My hands moved down her back to grab her butt and hold her against my lower body. I had missed feeling her against me, hearing her little moans of pleasure as she sagged against me.

I abruptly pulled away, staring down at her.

“I have to go,” I croaked out and quickly spun around and walked out the door.

She had looked shocked by my abrupt departure. I hadn’t meant for the kiss to get so out of hand. I didn’t want her to think I had taken her out for a day on the town with the sole intention of getting her into bed. That wasn’t what the day had been about. Today had been me showing her who I really was. I knew it wouldn’t make a difference, but I wanted her to know I wasn’t the shallow playboy she thought I was.

I got into my car and rubbed my hands over my face. It was time to start planning my emergency vacation. I had a feeling my parents would be more than happy to ship me away for a couple weeks to avoid me getting in the way of William’s happiness. They would find a way to spin the musical fiancées. William would come out smelling like a rose as usual.

I couldn’t watch it. I couldn’t be a part of it. I drove home and started to do research. Where was I going to hide while I healed my broken heart out of the public eye?