Chapter Twenty-Five
The day I’ve been anticipating has arrived—the bar exam results are going to be posted. After swishing some mouthwash, I rush to wake Lauren, but her bed is empty. Of course it is. She’s been staying at Paul’s place every Saturday night for the past month, but I thought she’d be home for this. We’d planned on doing this together.
As if reading my mind, she calls.
“Hi! Are you ready for this?” I ask.
“I wish. I was trying to meditate, but it’s not working.”
I open my laptop and click on the website. If the results are up even one second before six, I’m going to be ready. “One minute until we know.”
“Statistically speaking, one of us will have to take it again.”
I stare at my screen, not sure how I’ll feel if I’m the statistic, but not wanting it to be Lauren, either. “It’s up!” I scroll past Bradys and Brewers, race past Cabots and Cabreras and Camerenas. And there it is. Capwell, Katherine Elizabeth. My hand flies to my mouth.
Lauren shrieks into the phone. “I passed!”
“Me, too,” I say, my voice almost a whisper. I did it. I had no doubt Lauren would pass, and I knew I should pass, but there was a quiet yet powerful fear that resided in the back of my mind. “Can you believe it? We did it!” I scan the list, checking to see which of our study group friends passed, hoping it’s all of them. “Phillip passed, too!”
“So did Fiona and Malcolm! Thank goodness. I don’t see Teddy’s name, though, do you? Or Tracey’s.”
I skim the list for both their names, but they aren’t there. “I don’t, either. Shoot.”
“Oh, that sucks.”
Neither one of us speaks for a moment. A wave of sympathy for Teddy and Tracey flows through me. I’m sure Lauren is feeling the same way. All of us devoured our law books, practically snorting the pulp from the pages in order to ingest as much knowledge as we possibly could. It was a brutal cycle of waking, eating, studying-studying-studying, and very little sleeping. “They’ll pass next time.”
“Yes. Okay, I’m going to share the news with Paul. Let’s celebrate tonight! I’m sure the whole gang will want to get together.”
“Count me in.” I smile as I end the call and check the list one more time. My name is still there, clear as day. I passed the bar. On the first try, no less.
Even though I didn’t get much sleep, I’m operating as though I’ve had a triple espresso. Tracey, amazing girl that she is, even joined us. She said she’d rather celebrate with us than sit home and sulk. And the great thing is, her firm will continue to support her until she passes. I know she will next time.
With the way I’m buzzing through emails, it’s possible I’ll empty my mailbox before Kenneth shows up. He’s been arriving after nine lately, which is a pleasant change. My office phone rings, and I pick up, fully expecting it to be Craig. “Good morning.”
“Katie, this is Steven. Can you come down to my office? Thomas and I would like to speak with you.” Of course! I’ve been so busy I didn’t stop to think that they’d want to congratulate me on passing the bar.
“Sure. I’ll be right there,” I practically sing. Maybe they’ll even want to officially promote me to a first-year attorney.
The door is open, and as soon as I peek my head in, Thomas roars, “Come on in, young lady. Have a seat.” He sounds happy—jubilant, to be honest—and the broad grin on his face makes me feel proud.
I take the seat he offers. Steven nods a hello, his expression hard to read, though he’s always rather stoic compared to Thomas.
“We want to have a conversation with you about a turn of events,” Steven says flatly.
He doesn’t seem as happy as I’d imagined. The bright slashes of color that function as art look like a warning, but I have nothing to fear. I passed the bar! “Okay,” I say expectantly.
Thomas raises a bushy brow. “Kenneth’s leaving Janks and Lowe.”
“Wait. What? Kenneth is leaving? When?”
“Soon. We’re working out the details of how to deal with some ongoing cases, but I’m confident we’ll reach an agreement. We’ve told him he can share the news with you today, but prior to that happening, we wanted to reassure you that your job is safe. We’ll assign you to another partner.”
It’s like Christmas came early! No more Kenneth? I curl my toes in my heels until they hurt to make sure I’m not dreaming. He’s leaving! “I, um. I’m kind of shocked. I thought this was about my bar exam results. I passed.”
“Yes, we know. Congratulations. We’re all very proud of you.” Thomas offers a hearty smile, but as soon as it appears, it slides from his face. “Regarding Kenneth, we were all surprised. However, that being said, things happen in a large firm. People feel the need to move on.” He lifts a hand, looking like a friendly politician who kisses all the babies. “We try to keep the family intact by giving everyone as much of the pie as possible…” He shrugs. “Some people get greedy and want the whole pie.”
Steven taps his desk with a silver pen. “We’ll make an announcement about his departure once the details have been finalized. Until then, we’d appreciate if you’d keep the information confidential.”
“Okay. I won’t say anything.”
He stands. “Very well. We’ll be in touch.”
“Thanks.” I walk back to my office in a fog. When I reach Craig’s door, I tap on it, but there’s no answer. Damn. He’s still in Idaho.
I trail back to my office, lost in thought, a million questions rolling around in my head. The biggest one being, who will I be assigned to? And do I even want to stay?
Whoa. Where’d that come from?
But as the thought settles in my mind, I realize it’s something I’ve been struggling with for a while now—ever since I started volunteering at the Holden Center. I want my work to mean something.
As soon as I’m seated, I begin composing a text to Hannah. There’s no use calling because she’ll be in the middle of teaching. Before I’m finished, Kenneth blasts in, a large orchid in a glazed terra-cotta pot in his arms. “Good morning,” he says, moving some papers on my desk to make room for the plant.
“Hi. Nice plant. Did you get it for your office?”
He rolls back on his heels. “I did not. I got it for yours.” He flashes a thin smile and places his hands on the back of the guest chair. “Katie, when I was a young attorney, I worked my ass off. My ass off,” he says, stretching the words—my clue that I’m in for a speech. “Nothing was handed to me. Time and again partners took credit for my hard work.” He leans in. “But I was happy. Do you know why?” I say nothing, well aware he doesn’t expect an answer. “Because I knew I had to pay my dues.” He laughs, and I’m reminded of a leaky faucet. “Boy, did I pay my dues. And as that eager young attorney, I always said, if I’m ever in the privileged position to help someone, I will. That day has come, Katie. You just won the lottery.”
“The lottery?”
“The time has come for me to hang my own shingle. It’s long past due. I’ve worked for peanuts here, but I had a vision. Do you understand what I’m saying? I’m going to make God money.” His eyes bulge with a crazed look. “God. Money.” He motions to the orchid. “This plant is for your new office at Kenneth York, LLP. Congratulations.”
He’s inhaled a bit too much cherry air freshener for his own good if he thinks I’m going to stand and cheer.
When I don’t answer, he says, “Well? What do you think?”
“Um, I’m just trying to absorb all this.”
“It’s a lot, I know. Big things, Katie. Big things.”
“Yes. May I have some time to think about it?”
A quizzical expression crosses his face. “You have until the end of next week. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. You would have the chance to skyrocket to the top.”
I smile and lift my coffee cup. “To the top.” It seems to pacify him for the moment. “Thank you for the plant. It’s lovely.”
“You’re welcome. Congratulations on passing the bar, by the way. Now, in the meantime, let’s keep rockin’ and rollin’ on the Hammond case. He’ll surely want to come with me.”
He leaves my office, and I move the plant to the credenza behind me. God knows I don’t need another orchid reminding me that eventually, no matter how hard I try to keep it alive, I’ll kill it.
Empty takeout boxes sit on the kitchen table. Lauren sits across from me nursing a mug of green tea, her eyes full of concern. I didn’t intend to tell her about everything that happened at work today, but once I got started, it all came pouring out.
“What are you going to do?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. It feels like I’m at a fork in the road, and I’m scared I’ll make a wrong turn. When I interviewed at Janks and Lowe, I was so desperate to get a job that I didn’t think long and hard about what I wanted. My mom pointed me in the direction, and I willingly followed.”
“So now you’ll decide what your next step is.”
“It’s that easy, right?”
“Yes. It’s your life. Think about the kickboxing gym. I was all freaked out by it, but you were intrigued, so you went for it. Go after your career in the same way.”
“Follow my heart. It’s what Gran always told me to do. It’s what my dad did.”
“See? You’ll find it. You just have to be open to your feelings.”
“Ah, yes. Those pesky things I like to shove down.”
She smiles over her cup of tea. “Don’t shove them to the back! Embrace them. By the way, are you excited to see Edward again? He seems like a nice guy.”
“Yeah, he is nice. It’ll be good.” I take my plate to the kitchen. Edward is sweet and a little predictable. Certainly trustworthy. He won’t make my heart feel like it’s been put in a blender. And most importantly, he’s pursuing me. It’s not like I’m stuck playing guessing games to find out if he likes me. I know he does. And that is something I can embrace.
Yes, everything is falling nicely into place. I’ve passed the bar, a positive energy has flowed into my career with the prospect of working for someone other than Kenneth, and I have Edward. He’s the perfect guy for me. We have similar interests, and my mother adores his parents. It’s great.
So why is there a hollow void inside me? I should be filled with joy. God, my gratitude list is huge. But I’m empty.