“Those assholes wouldn’t know good acting if it smacked them right in the face.”

I snort, some of the tea I was sipping shooting out of my nose and all down the front of me. It burns like a motherfucker, but I can’t be mad. Judy K just managed to take the last two days of disappointment and heartbreak and vanquish them with one sentence.

“Assholes, huh? Gosh, Judy K. What would the Actors Guild think of their beloved golden girl using such language?”

“Actors Guild, my old, wrinkly ass. You think I give a shit what those old farts say about me? I didn’t care then, and I sure as shit don’t care now.”

I double over, my breath coming in gasps as I laugh. “Judy, I’ve never seen this side of you before. I have to say, I like it.”

She waves me off. “When you’ve seen all the things I’ve seen, you earn the right to say a few curse words every now and again. And, when I hear you’ve been passed over for yet another little rich kid who’s no doubt riding on their daddy or mommy’s coattails, it makes the redhead in me come out to play.”

Well, now that I know this spitfire exists, you can be sure I’m going to try my damnedest to make sure she gets as much action as possible. Judy K is amazing all the time. But Judy K pissed off and on the defensive? Nothing sort of sheer epicness.

She spends the next ten minutes telling me how great I was when rehearsing with her and how those fools don’t know what they missed out on. I’ve got to say, it feels good. I’ve always thought I had at least a little talent, regardless of how down in the dumps I’ve been the past few days. But hearing a legend like Judy K tell me I remind her of a young James Dean? It gives a nice boost to the old ego.

By the time my tea and cookies are finished—living across the hall from an old lady definitely has its perks, especially considering how Judy K can bake—all the doubt and fear I was feeling since getting that rejection call three days ago is gone. I can’t give up now. Not when I’ve worked this hard. And when I’m so close. That was the first audition I felt really good about. Having more confidence in myself is sure to shine through in my next one. It’s only a matter of time before someone sees my potential and gives me a job. And then all these sad and unfulfilling days will be a thing of the past. A distant memory I’ll look back on and smile.

Besides, if I cut and run now, I’ll never get a chance to get to know Barker better. No—Jaden. It’s going to take some getting used to, calling him by his first name. He’s been Barker to me for as long as I’ve known him. But knowing he trusted me enough to give me that information, knowing that I could slip up and call him that in front of Fisher, means more to me than he could ever know. I can tell it was a big deal to him even if it’s the most common thing in the world. The fact that he put himself on the line like that just because I’d asked him to is huge. And then, when he didn’t flat-out reject my idea of him getting a burner phone so that we could talk more? I think I might finally be getting under his skin.

But therein lies the problem. Jaden is obviously beginning to trust me. And it’s been clear from the start that we’re attracted to each other. But, if he’s dead set on remaining a part of that religion of his, then where will that leave us? I did some research. There’s no way in hell his church would be cool with him being with me even if I were to convert. It’s not a matter of different faiths. It’s the fact that we’re both dudes. And, in their eyes, it’s going against God’s will.

I’ve always found it incredibly ironic that people who follow the teachings of a book written ten zillion years ago about a man who liked to hang out with prostitutes and thieves could be so judgmental over what two men might or might not do behind closed doors. I mean, if the words in that book are true, Jesus was the most accepting individual to ever walk the face of the earth. Yet I’m to believe he would cast me aside because I happened to be attracted to other men? I don’t buy it. It’s all a bunch of hypocrisy and narcissism if you ask me. Besides, that book also says black people are pretty much the spawn of Satan, and you shouldn’t wear cotton blends. If we can look the other way on those little tidbits of info, why not about whom someone happens to fall in love with?

My good mood has evaporated, leaving me feeling listless and depressed. I lean back against Judy K’s couch cushions, not even caring that I’m probably wrinkling the pristine fabric. I let out a sigh, trying to make it obvious that I’m upset. Judy K was married for, like, forever. If anybody knows a thing or two about relationships, it’s her.

She immediately picks up on my sour mood. “What’s wrong, Quinn? Something is on your mind. And don’t tell me it’s just the asshole who called you earlier this week. I might be old, but I’m not dumb.”

I exhale loudly, dropping my head back on the cushion so that my eyes rest on the white ceiling. “I don’t know, Judy. There’s just this…”

I pause for a moment, wondering how much I can really tell her.

Judy might have shown me a different side of herself today, but she’s still old-fashioned. She told me all about her courtship with her husband, William. How they didn’t sleep together until their wedding night. How moving in together before they were married was never even a question. What if she hears that I’m gay and immediately kicks me out? I’d like to think she’s a little more open-minded than that. This is Hollywood after all, and even back in Judy K’s heyday, there were gay actors. They might not have been quite as open about it back then as they are today, but they were still there. Judy wouldn’t judge me solely based on that, would she?

I decide to play it safe, test out the waters and sort of dance around the subject to try to get a feel for her reaction, before I come right out and say it. She smiles at me, giving me an encouraging nod when she sees I’m about to continue.

“Well, there’s this person, someone I’m attracted to and I know is attracted to me. But there’s a problem.”

She lets out a wistful sigh. “Oh, I do love a good lovers’ quarrel. Go on, go on. Tell me more,” she says, placing a hand on my knee and giving it a gentle squeeze.

I lift the corners of my lips in a sad smile. “No, there’s no lovers’ quarrel. This person, well, they’ve admitted to me that they like me and want to get to know me more. And I feel the same. I can’t get hi—er, this person off my mind. But this person is sort of off-limits. To me at least.”

“And why is that?” she asks, her eyes darkening in confusion. “You are a wonderful person, Quinn. Anybody would be lucky to have you.”

I pat her on the leg. “Thanks, Judy. But, unfortunately, there are others in the world who wouldn’t agree. See, I live what certain people would call an alternative lifestyle. And those same people don’t necessarily agree with said lifestyle.”

“Alternative lifestyle? Like what? You like to have sex with chickens?”

I snort. “No, Judy. I like to stay away from livestock.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t get it then. What could people possibly have an issue with then?”

I take in a deep breath. She’s looking at me with so much concern, like she’s ten seconds away from going out to find said people who might’ve hurt my feelings and teaching them a thing or two about manners. The same way she did to me on our first meeting. Her hand still rests on my knee, and I slowly reach out and cover it with my own.

“Well, Judy, this might come as a bit of a shock. And I want you to know, this has no bearing on who I am to you or our friendship. I’m still the same Quinn you scolded out in the hall and then invited in for cookies.”

She lifts an eyebrow at me. “Quinn, you’re starting to scare me.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I draw in one last breath for courage and then blurt it out, “I’m gay, Judy.”

She doesn’t speak, doesn’t make a sound. I start to wonder if maybe she’s in shock or if she’s just too outraged to even dignify my words with a response. After a few moments of silence, I crack open the corner of one eye, peering over at her to make sure I didn’t just kill a living legend with a few simple words.

To say I’m surprised by what I find would be an understatement. Anger fills her face, her brows furrowed in frustration. When I open my eyes fully and turn to her, she drops my hand and smacks me on the arm.

“Quinn Owens. Don’t you dare do that to me again. I thought you were about to tell me you were involved in child sex trafficking or something equally horrific. I’m an actress, you know. We tend to be slightly overdramatic.”

She smacks me a few more times for good measure, letting me know how thoroughly annoyed she is with my display. I’m so relieved that she isn’t kicking me out that I take her attack without a word. In fact, happy tears fill my eyes, and when she finally stops her onslaught, I pull her to me in a giant hug.

“Why are you trying to smother an old lady?” Her muffled voice asks from against my chest. “I know I didn’t hurt you, so there’s no reason to try to kill me.”

I let her go, pulling back and giving her the biggest smile I can manage. “I’m just so relieved, Judy K. I had no idea how you’d react to that bit of information. You smacking me and telling me you’re glad I’m not a sex offender was not even in the realm of possibilities that were playing through my mind.”

She waves me off. “Quinn, don’t be silly. I wouldn’t care if you came over here and told me you were running off with Big Bird as long as you made each other happy and nobody was getting hurt in the process. Besides, you didn’t tell me anything I hadn’t already known.”

Now, it’s my turn to shoot her a questioning look. She laughs, giving me a playful slap. As she smiles, I rub my arm, wondering if I’m going to have a bruise tomorrow. Who knew Judy K could be so violent?

“Again, I’m old, not deaf. And the walls in this place aren’t exactly soundproof. I got quite a good show not long after you moved in. And don’t get me started on the other night. That poor boy from downstairs practically had to drag you down the hallway.” Realization blooms across her face when she says those words. “You don’t mean…him? The Mormon?”

Her tone is so sensational that, under any other circumstances, I would laugh. But this hits too close to home. Because, even though she’s finding this incredibly amusing, that right there is why this will never work.

I nod. “Jaden Barker. Also known as Elder Barker, Mormon missionary extraordinaire.”

She claps her hands together, almost bouncing on her seat. “Oh, I love it. He is such a cutie pie. So innocent. He and that friend of his have been by a few times. They’re such charming boys. A little odd but sweet nonetheless. They’re always willing to eat some cookies and keep me company for a few minutes. Of course, they always want me to listen to their message, but I just tell them that, at my age, you don’t fix what ain’t broken. God and I have an understanding. It’s worked just fine for going on eighty years now. I don’t see any point in changing it now. Your boy seems to get that. He likes just coming up and talking to me. That other one though, he sure is pushy.”

“Tell me about it,” I say, my annoyance with Fisher evident in every word.

“So, when are you two going on a date? Oh! You should take him to that new restaurant you were telling me about. The one with the jalapeño margaritas you’ve been dying to try.”

I shake my head. “That’s the problem, Judy. I can’t take him anywhere. Going on a date with me would get him into a world of trouble.”

She scoffs. “That’s silly. What could possibly be so bad about that boy going on a date with you?”

“Well, remember those people I said had a problem with my lifestyle? Turns out, Mormons are at the top of that list.”

She quirks an eyebrow at me. “You mean to tell me that he’d get in trouble for going out with you just because you both happen to have dicks? In this day and age?”

Unexpected laughter bubbles up out of my chest. “I doubt they’d put it quite so eloquently, but, yes, that is essentially what I mean. Being gay is a sin in the eyes of his church.”

“Oh, for crying out loud,” she huffs. “I thought we’d moved past this by now. This is the twenty-first century, not the era of King Henry. We don’t go around guillotining people for who they choose to love.”

Another chuckle escapes my lips. “Well, I don’t think they’re that drastic. But I did some looking into it. He could get excommunicated if anybody found out. They’d kick him out, and that would cause problems with his family. I can’t ask him to do that for me. Not when we don’t know if this would even lead anywhere.”

Judy chews on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Quinn. But this is just the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. God doesn’t care who you love. God would never judge you for being capable of love regardless of whom it was for. Not when there is so much hate in this world. Love is something to be celebrated. Not condemned.”

I pull her back into my arms. “Thank you, Judy K. Those words mean the world to me. It’s people like you who make this world the amazing place it is.”

“Ditto, kid. If this Jaden kid were smart, he’d tell those close-minded church people of his to shove it up their ass and be with you. Because you’re worth whatever repercussions he might have to endure. You have the biggest heart out of anyone I know. The only person I’ve ever met who rivals you was my William. And I snatched him up the first chance I got. He’ll do the same. Just you watch.”

I squeeze her tighter. “I hope you’re right, Judy. I sure do hope you’re right.”