The sun was setting over Hidden Creek by the time Zach had driven home. He passed by the cheerful inflatable Santa and colorful lights on his way into his house, and once inside sunk down onto the couch with a sigh.

The gift bag was set down beside him on a cushion as he leaned back and stared at the Christmas tree in the corner.

Once again, he had faced Shane and fucked it up. He’d been too much of a coward to tell him how he felt. Too weak to tell him he needed him. It was like he was desperately trying to grasp at water, but it kept slipping through his fingers and washing away.

At least the Board had changed their minds. It was a victory that soothed his heartache enough to be tolerable. Right now the kids would be heading into the Winter Formal, dancing and enjoying each other’s company. Jesse and Millie would be there among their friends, able to be themselves for the night.

That was worth it all.

He looked at the gift bag beside him, then pulled it into his lap and carefully tugged the red tissue paper out. Inside was something round, made of paper and wood. When he slipped it free from the bag he found that it was a wreath of sorts. A ring of rustic green-painted wood, with about a dozen old fashioned wood clothes hangers attached to it. Held within each of them were Christmas cards, all different. He blinked curiously, laying the wreath flat on his lap so that he could pull one card off at a time to open.

He started with the one that was pinned at the top, with a little extra ‘read me!’ note scribbled onto the corner of it.

There was a poorly doodled elf holding a large candy cane in front of him in the bottom corner with a big smiley face. Zach had been chewing hard at his lip as he read, but the little doodle brought out a sudden snort and giggle.

Even when Shane was being sentimental, he made Zach laugh.

Carefully he put the card back, then started to read through the rest. Some were generic thank you notes that also wished him a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, but there were some that were longer, more heartfelt. Those from the LGBT Alliance thanked him for showing them they could actually make a difference in their community. That seeing the outcome of the article and petition had inspired them to try to do more to change their school and town. Some were more serious than others—at times he was grinning like an idiot, and others he was having to hold back tears. Millie and Jesse’s cards were, unsurprisingly, the longest. There was no way he could hold back the tears when he read theirs.

Jesse claimed it was the first time they had ever felt like someone had really listened to them, and how grateful they were that more people were trying to learn and understand now after reading the article. Millie more lightheartedly wrote about how she’d enjoyed being able to “stick it to the haters,” and that she was actually starting to consider going into journalism after she graduated now.

Had he really influenced the lives of these kids so much?

He brushed his fingers over the surface of the cards, tears streaming down his face. As much as he wanted to be humble, to deny that he’d done anything, Shane had a point. He couldn’t discount them. Not when they too had fought so hard.

You’re just going to keep deluding yourself with anyone who will have you until they realize how much of a worthless, cowardly piece of shit you are.

These kids didn’t think he was worthless, or cowardly.

Shane didn’t either.

Shane loved him.

The tears came harder, ravaging through him hard enough his body shook. He lifted his hands to wipe his cheeks and nose, but they kept coming, the emotional dam broken.

He’d made such a terrible mistake. How could he have let Noah bring him to such a low that he couldn’t see how Shane truly felt about him? How could he have doubted him so much? How could he have doubted himself so much?

But Shane was willing to wait for him. It wasn’t over. He just needed to apologize and beg him to give him another chance.

He needed to tell him how much he loved him.

His phone buzzed from his pocket. It made him jump, snapping him out of his emotional thoughts. He fumbled with it, and read the message that lit up the screen.

It was from Shane.

He smiled, even as tears were still wet on his cheeks. Even a text message from this guy was making his heart race. How could he have been such a coward?

Zach wiped his nose on his sleeve and sniffed, then picked up the wreath again, standing and carrying it into the kitchen. He removed a picture from the wall so he could put the card wreath up instead. There it’d set, a reminder to himself that he deserved to be respected and loved.

Now he just needed to go get Shane back.

The heritage house loomed over him, a monstrous memory made from guilt, shame, and regret. It was here his dream of marriage and a perfect life had been ripped brutally to shreds. He had thought his life was over then. That he’d never again find someone to love and to share his life with.

But that wasn’t true now. He loved Shane, and he was going to do everything he needed to do to be with him.

Even if it meant conquering his worst fears.

He had to force himself to take each step forward. His feet felt like they were suddenly made of lead, and his chest ached as he tried to keep his breathing steady. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of that painful day, each step bringing with it a fresh stab to his heart. The front step was where he was supposed to take his wedding pictures with Noah and their families. Where there were now wreaths, wedding flowers had once hung. The back garden no longer had blooming flowers, but he remembered how beautiful it had been then, and how it’d felt like a dream to say his vows among them. He knew before he even reached the door that it would open up into the front lobby with stairs leading up to the second floor—where he’d nervously gotten dressed with Andre’s help. Also where he had found out Noah had been using and manipulating him from the start of their relationship.

Tears pricked at his eyes as he stopped in front of the doors, staring up at them. If he could just get past this—if he could just find Shane, then he could start over. He could build new dreams with him beside him, and have the life he’d always wanted.

The life he deserved to have.

He took a deep breath, pushed the heavy wooden door open, and headed inside.

The house looked different now, packed with students in dresses and suits, with Christmas decorations everywhere. The energy in the air was full of youthful excitement, and it washed over him like a balm to his soul. This wasn’t a nightmare. It was a celebration.

You can do this.

“Zach?” Tina, the teacher he’d met earlier, was standing to the side of the door, peering curiously at him. “Kind of surprised to see you… Are you all right?”

He blinked over at her, then swallowed down his nervousness. “Yes, um, I’m fine. Is Shane still here?”

Her eyes brightened a bit before she pointed towards the ballroom. “I think he’s on punch guard duty now.”

His gaze flickered in that direction, before he nodded. “Right, thank you.” He headed off quickly, weaving his way around loitering teenagers, who were giving him curious glances. Kids were dancing all around to loud upbeat pop and hip-hop music, and with the dimmed lights it was hard to make out faces from a distance. He turned around in circles, using his height to peer over the tops of heads until—there.

Shane was standing behind a long table that had a couple bowls of punch and some other drinks and snacks on offer. He’d changed into a suit that didn’t fit him perfectly, but it still made him look incredibly handsome. It made Zach wish he had thought to change his clothes before rushing over. Shane was grabbing plastic cups to fill up with punch or soda for those coming by, flashing his beautiful, adorable smile.

Zach took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders, then marched across the ballroom towards him.

Shane blinked with surprise when he noticed Zach approaching, and very nearly poured a ladle full of punch out onto the table instead of into a cup. “Zach? What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you,” he blurted out urgently.

“Now?” Shane’s brows lifted, giving a pointed look around before focusing on the taller man.

He shifted his weight nervously. “Yes, now. Please. I just—I have to tell you something.”

Shane lowered the ladle into the punch bowl, watching him a moment before he nodded. “All right. I’m listening.”

Zach could feel eyes turning to watch them, but he didn’t care. He moved around the table and up to Shane, reaching out to grip his hands to squeeze. He looked down at them a moment, gathering up his courage, then lifted his eyes to look Shane in the eye.

“First of all, I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I don’t want to make excuses, but right before our date, my ex called me. We fought. I should have just hung up on him as soon as I knew it was him calling—I should have just focused on you. But I… I didn’t. I let things get to me, and when you told me you loved me, I freaked out. I was so scared I was going to get hurt again, or that you…” He swallowed, his voice trembling. “That you’d realize I’m not good enough. I’ve felt like I’m not good enough for so long.”

Shane looked pained, his hands squeezing Zach’s. “That’s not true,” he started.

“I know.” He blinked away tears. “At least—logically, I know. It’s hard to really believe it sometimes, when there’re… all these emotions and baggage. But you… you make me feel so good. You make me feel confident and strong. You inspire me so much, Shane.”

“That’s great, Zach, but I want you to feel confident and strong for yourself, because of the things you’ve done, not just because of me,” Shane said softly, his voice almost swept away by the music.

“I do! I do,” Zach assured quickly. “That’s why I’m here. The bravest thing I can do, right now, is tell you I want to be with you. I don’t want to let the past hold me back anymore. I want to be happy. With you.” He swallowed. “I love you, Shane. So freaking much.”

Shane’s eyes softened, lips spreading into a wider smile. “I love you too, Zach.”

Applause started up all around them, making Zach suddenly remember they weren’t actually alone. His face filled with warmth, and he knew he had gone red as an apple, but right now all he could do was grin down at Shane.

Shane laughed as a chant of “Kiss! Kiss!” echoed around them. He looked up, eyes glinting with mischief. “Well, we gotta do it now.”

Zach smirked, then leaned down to press his lips gently to Shane’s while the ballroom broke out into boisterous cat-calls and cheers. He lingered there with his arms wrapped around Shane for several seconds, enjoying the feeling of Shane leaning into his chest.

Shane sighed into his shoulder after the kiss, then pulled back. “Unfortunately, this is still a school event. Gotta keep it PG.” He winked playfully.

His head dipped sheepishly as he released him, a hand moving to the back of his neck to rub. “Um, yeah, I get it. Do you think it’d be okay for me to stick around until after the dance? I can help clean up, if you want—and then maybe… I dunno. We could spend more time together. Just us.”

“I’d like that a lot.” Shane smiled warmly. “But if you’re staying, I demand I get at least one dance from you.”

He made a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a grimace. “I guess I owe you, but I will warn you, I cannot dance. I am far too big and clumsy to do anything but stumble around and step on people’s feet.”

“I’ll suffer through it. Still not getting out of it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of denying you, if that’s what you want.” Zach reached out to squeeze his hand.

Shane returned the grip, then let go to pick up a stack of plastic cups to shove into his hand instead. “Here. In the meantime, help me serve drinks. And guard the punch so it doesn’t get spiked. These little weasels are sneaky as hell.”

“Thankfully from up here, I have the best lookout position,” he teased. “Nothing will get past me.”

Shane let out a hearty, beautiful laugh before turning to pour punch out to hand over to the students clustered around the table. All of them were giggling and smirking from having witnessed the confession of love, but Shane dutifully shooed them off before they could tease them too much.

Zach was willing to suffer through the jokes they made, though. It was totally worth it.

Being with Shane was worth anything.