There’s a delicious ache between my thighs as I lean back into his solid, muscular chest. Sitting on the bearskin rug in front of the fire and caged between his legs, I relish the feel of his body against mine. The flames flicker, glowing brilliant shades of yellow and orange, warming my front while he warms my back. He strokes his hand along my arm while nibbling at just the right spot in the crook of my neck. My fingertips feather up and down his legs in long, languid strokes. I close my eyes and revel in every sensation. His beard tickles my skin, sending chills down my spine and making my insides giddy. My body has grown used to his touch, expecting it and craving more.

The wind still swirls around the cabin and ice pellets have lashed the window panes for hours, but I don’t care. I’m exactly where I want to be. Luke Dawson isn’t the man I thought he was, especially when we first met. I had him all wrong. He’s kind, thoughtful, and a generous lover.

In the last eighteen hours he’s given me so many orgasms that every part of my body feels well used, even my toes from curling so much. Never in my life have I experienced a sexcapade quite like this. With Jeremy I felt like I had to beg, and that usually ended with a quickie standing over the bathroom sink before he jumped in the shower and washed the remnants of me away.

But not Luke. There’s nothing fast about the man. He lives like he loves. My life is the total opposite. The moment I open my eyes in the morning, it’s a mad dash to do everything that I have planned and all the things I haven’t. Most days I forget to eat until I’m so weak that my fingers tremble applying a client’s mascara, which is the least opportune time for a makeup artist.

The only thing Luke has been remotely swift with is his attention to me. If I shiver, he envelops me in his arms until the cold evaporates. If my stomach growls, he hops from the bed and fixes me something to eat. If I yawn, he carries me to the bed and whispers in my ear until my eyes flutter closed. He doesn’t smother me with his actions, but makes me feel adored and important—something I’m not used to feeling anymore.

Little time has been spent talking. It’s hard to ask questions when his lips are sealed over mine. But there’s so much about him that I want to know.

“Luke.” I open my eyes and tip my head sideways to give him full access to my neck.

“Yeah?” The deep rumble of his voice vibrates against my skin, giving me an entirely different sensation.

“Why do you live up here”—I swallow and pray I don’t ruin the moment—“alone?”

He stills, but his lips remain against my skin. A moment passes before he speaks. “After I came back from my last tour of duty, I realized I didn’t fit into mainstream society anymore.” He’s speaking softly, almost a whisper. His warm breath skids down my chest, causing my nipples to harden. “I came here because it’s far enough away from everything and everyone that I can have some peace.”

“But why not have a girlfriend?” I can’t imagine being without some form of human contact.

He laughs softly and sinks his teeth gently into my skin before running his tongue over the same spot, soothing the burn. “Do you see a lot of women around here, Madison?”

“I’m here.” I stiffen and start to backtrack. “I mean if I found you, so could others. Why not find someone to share this with?” My eyes scan the cabin. In reality there isn’t much to share but each other.

“In the five years I’ve been here, you’re the first woman to show up at my door and throw herself at me.” He smiles against my skin.

“I did not throw myself at you,” I say quickly and feel my cheeks heat.

“What would you call it, sweetheart?”

The term of endearment makes my embarrassment melt away and the ache between my thighs grow more intense. “I’d call it opportunistic. You needed help and I, being the caring and considerate person I am, offered myself for the job.”

His laugh returns and his arms tighten around me in a warm embrace. “I had things handled.” That he did.

I’d nearly swallowed my tongue when I walked in on him stroking his massive, hard shaft in his manly grip. “Be serious for a minute.” I turn in his arms. My legs cover his and our bare middles meet once more.

His eyes drop to where our bodies touch. I touch his chin and force his face upward.

“Aren’t you lonely here?”

“No,” he answers quickly but frowns and tips his forehead against mine. “Yes.”

“Which one is it?” I ask softly, resting my hand on his rock-hard bicep.

“I didn’t think I was lonely before you showed up. But now that you’re here…” He pauses and swallows roughly, his Adam’s apple dipping underneath the hair that’s smattered across his neck. “I don’t know how I can go back to the way my life was before you came without feeling alone.” I feel the weight in his words and the heaviness of his admission.

I slide my hand up his neck and nestle into the overgrown hairs covering his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” It’s the only thing I can think to say as I stare into his kind eyes. My heart flutters when I think about never seeing him again.

“Don’t be.” He wraps his hands around my back, the callouses scratching my skin ever so slightly. “This is the life I choose. I stay here because I have to, not because I want to. It’s best if I live by myself so I can’t fuck up anyone else.”

The flutter in my chest stops and is replaced by a dull ache, because I know I’ve forever changed his life. “You’re not fucked up, Luke.”

“I am.” He averts his eyes and presses his lips against my furrowed brows. “I’m more broken than you can ever imagine, Madison.”

“What happened?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Luke.” I whisper his name like I’ve said it a million times. “I told you what happened to me, and I’ll admit it was hard, but I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Tell me what happened. You can’t keep everything inside.”

His hands slide under my ass, and he lifts me into his lap, cradling me against his chest. I’m not sure if he’s doing this to comfort me or himself as he begins to speak.

“I saw things and did things that no man would ever be proud of doing or seeing. Even though it was to protect my country and done under classified orders, it doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“As a SEAL, I was sent in to rescue people. Some people were held hostage and sometimes beaten to the point that they were almost unrecognizable. Sometimes it was a woman we were saving and she’d been raped. Ever look at a woman who fears you just because you’re a man? To be looked at like a wild animal, to be looked at with eyes filled with so much hate you’re certain she wishes you were dead instead of feeling comforted that you saved her life?”

“No,” I answer honestly.

“I know what that feels like. It’s shitty. Sometimes when I close my eyes on a still night, I can still hear the screams of children…and the wails of the families that lost loved ones. I saw too many things. Witnessed too much evil to ever be able to deal with the good.”

“You’re a good person, Luke.”

His body stiffens under my touch. “I’m not. Don’t be fooled by what’s happened between us.”

“You were serving your country. You aren’t defined by those moments. We all have things we aren’t proud of. Yours are just heavier than others’.”

“That doesn’t make it easier to swallow. When I came back, I moved to Denver. I lived in a high-rise and tried to make a life in the city. But everything set me off. When you go through something that makes you look over your shoulder, something like war, it’s hard not to feel like everyone is after you. I started to remove myself from everybody, and when I couldn’t deal anymore…” he trails off and buries his face in my hair. “I ran here. The only place I knew I could never hurt another human being.”

“I can’t imagine you hurting another living soul.”

“I’m dangerous. I’ve murdered people with my bare hands, Madison.”

His confession shocks me and the air rushes out of me in an instant.

Instantly I regret baring my soul to her. I can feel her stiffening in my arms before she starts to pull away. I’d never confided in anyone before. Not even the therapist the VA required me to see. But there’s something about Madison that draws me in and makes me want to admit my deepest secrets. The last thing I want is for her to be afraid of me, but she has to understand the man I really am—I’m not a white knight by any stretch of the imagination.

To my surprise, instead of extricating herself from me, she brushes the hair that’s fallen in my eyes away from my face. “You’ve shown me nothing but kindness, Luke. You’re not the man you think you are.” Her palms scorch my flesh as she cradles my face. “What we’ve done in the past doesn’t determine who we are for an eternity.”

I wonder if she’s speaking from experience.

“We’re like rivers, handsome. We move through life touching different points and changing the landscape around us. But at our core, we’re the same. We’re water, dirt, and rocks. No matter what, that never changes. It doesn’t matter if there’s a flood or pollution flowing into our stream, we remain the same.”

A slow smile spreads across my face as I stare into her eyes. I can’t figure her out. The words that just came from her mouth are beautiful in their awkwardness. “You really are breathtaking,” I whisper and sweep my hands across her back, needing to feel her softness against my toughness.

“You need to cut yourself a little slack. Honestly, I don’t know many men who would come after me and rescue me after the way I ran out on you. Not even the ones who claim to be kind.”

Flattening my palms against her skin, I pull her forward so she presses against my growing erection. “I would never leave you out there to die.”

“That’s because you’re a good man, Luke.” Her eyes twinkle in the firelight and her expression is soft and gentle like her tone. “Even though you probably hated me, you still saved me from whatever would have happened if I’d stayed out there all night.”

“You would’ve died, Madison, and I couldn’t have lived with that.”

She searches my face. “Why don’t you see your goodness?”

“I never felt especially good until I met you. I have this insatiable need to take care of you in every way.”

She slides her hands down my throat, taking her time moving over my pecs before wandering to my abdomen and exploring the ridges. “Every way?” She raises an eyebrow with a smirk that tells me we’re not talking about my past anymore.

“Every”—I lean forward, brushing my lips against her sweet mouth—“way.” I kiss her again and she grabs my hand, moving it across her delicate skin to her wet and needy cunt.

“I need you inside me.”

She makes a pouty face and pushes two of my fingers inside her. My cock stiffens underneath her to the point of discomfort.

“Fuck me, Luke,” she begs.

My insides are burning for her, hotter than the fire warming us. Crushing my mouth against hers, I nudge her legs further apart and curl my fingers upward before pulling them back out. She moans into my mouth, sweeping her tongue deeper as if trying to taste more of me. My cock throbs as my fingers plunge back inside her. Her greedy channel convulses and pulls my fingers deeper.

I can’t get enough of her. The way she moans at my touch makes everything else melt away. The words I spoke earlier are no longer important. The only thing I can think about is satisfying the beautiful creature in my lap.

I press my thumb against her swollen clit, circling around the tiny bud with the lightest touch to drive her wild as I fuck her with my fingers. She bucks against me, and I instantly want more of her—all of her. She’s crying out, bouncing against my hand, and holding onto my bicep for support even though I have her cradled in my arms.

I need her orgasm. Need it more than the air in my lungs. Curling my fingers even more and pressing against her G-spot, I lift my hand slightly with each pass before thrusting into her with more force, matching her moans. Her fingernails bite into my flesh, breaking the skin as blood trickles down the back of my arm.

I’m too lost in the way she’s kissing me and fucking my hand to care.

Nothing can stop me from getting her off. Plunging inside of her two more times, my thumb assaulting her clit and my fingers pushing up on the very spot that makes her scream with pleasure, I feel her body stiffen in my arms and her breathing halt. I drive on even though my cock is aching for the same attention. Then her body quakes with pleasure. Her fingernails dig deeper into my blood-stained skin, and I hiss into her mouth as she gasps for air.

“Watching you fall apart in my arms is so fucking beautiful.”

She stares up at me with wonder and her body goes slack. Slowly, I ease my fingers out of her depths and bring them to my mouth, inhaling her sweet scent before closing my lips around them. The way she tastes on my tongue is better than any fruit I’ve ever grown. I close my eyes, savoring the lusciousness. My cock twitches in response.

Her breathing is hard, but she’s still limp, studying my face as I lick every drop of her from my fingers. “I could taste you for eternity,” I say in another moment of truthfulness, before my heart has a chance to pang in sorrow at the thought of her leaving.

“I would let you taste me always,” she whispers.

Gripping her ass in my palms, I lift her over me before impaling her. Relief floods through me when I’m buried inside of her, but quickly I realize it’s not enough. She rests her hands on my shoulders. When her body has adjusted, I slide my hands up her back, pulling her down and jamming my hardness even deeper.

Although I want to pound into her, my mind craves something more…intimate. With her flush against me, I swivel my hips and don’t break contact. Her pussy ripples as her head drops backward. A moan leaves her that I can only describe as pleasurable pain. There’s nowhere for my cock to go but around, feeling every inch of her insides against the engorged tip. But I need more. I need to feel enveloped and consumed. Need to feel her mouth and steal her breath. I tangle one hand in her hair and bring her face to mine while holding her flush against me.

“Mad,” I whisper into her mouth. “I need you. I need this.” I confess because I’ve never craved anything as badly as her right now.

“I’m yours,” she whispers in response and sweeps her tongue across my lips. I rotate my hips and move my cock inside her. “Take—” My hips move in the other direction and she sucks in a harsh breath before finding her voice again. “Me.”

Her words are like a blow to my chest, and I’m momentarily rendered breathless until she grinds against me again. I swivel my hips faster, touching every bit of her, but it’s not enough. Would anything ever be enough with her? I haven’t found a way yet to tame the clawing need I feel when I’m in her presence. Moving my hands down her spine, I grip her around the waist and lift her from my cock. The way she whimpers at the loss makes me smile against her mouth before I pull her down, slamming her down on top of me.

I capture her screams and lift her up, repeating the motion with such force that I wonder if my hands and my thighs will leave bruises on her, but I can’t stop myself. I’m like a wild man driven only by pleasure. My fingers dig deeper into her sides. I thrust up as I tug down, crashing our bodies together.

Desperate to see her, I drag my lips away from hers and study her. The fire shines on the thin layer of sweat that lines her body, sparkling like a million points of light with each movement. The tiny wisps near her damp hairline cling to her temples. When her eyes close and head tips back, her mouth falling open in the process, I feel my orgasm starting to build.

There’s no time to savor the moment or appreciate her beauty. Not with the way my body needs the release. The sights, smells, and sounds are too overwhelming for me to quench the thirst I have for her except through my release. Pumping up harder, pulling down rougher, I scream her name as the orgasm grips my body and shakes me to my very core.

Overcome with so many things that I’m not used to feeling, I curl my face into her neck and try to fill my lungs with air. With every breath I suck in her scent, memorizing it for later. I want to stay here in this moment forever. But I know that she’ll leave, and I’ll go back to who I was before I found her in the woods, bathed in moonlight and sin. I hold her tighter against me, and as if she can read my mind, a single tear falls from her face and onto my shoulder.