The sounds of the storm pelting against the windows are replaced by the trilling of birds. Snow drips from the trees and roof into melted puddles outside. Sunshine streams through the windows, adding warmth to our little refuge on the mountainside.

Luke and I sit across from each other at the small wooden table that fills out the kitchen area of the cabin, cards spread out between us. I furrow my brow as I strategize my next move. Luke lazily strokes the tops of my feet and calves, which are resting over his lap, using his other hand to hold his cards. We’re playing best out of five, but I’m definitely taking this game of Gin Rummy more seriously than he is. Maybe because I’m naturally competitive. Or maybe because every time we make eye contact, something unspoken but powerfully intense passes between us. It’s raw and filled with feelings that have crept over me the past few days. Feelings I wasn’t expecting. When I let him inside me, I didn’t expect he’d get this close to my heart.

But we don’t talk about what this tryst means. We don’t talk about the melting snow, or my healing wounds.

Suddenly, someone is pounding at the door.

I jump, yank my feet off Luke’s lap, and stand up abruptly. I’m still hanging out in his flannel shirt, which most times makes me feel overdressed, but with a stranger behind the door, I’m suddenly feeling vulnerable.

Luke barely masks a scowl before rising and moving toward the door. He grabs a shotgun and opens the door. My heart thunders, but no one’s ever made me feel as safe as Luke has.

I wrap my arms around myself. Not because of the gust of cool air that hits my bare legs when the door opens, but because we’re no longer alone.

“Lou. What can I do for you?” Luke’s enormous body fills the doorway, blocking my view of our unexpected visitor.

“Was wondering if you’d seen a girl up here. We have a guest down at the retreat and she’s been gone since the storm hit. Indigo saw her head up the trail in the morning, but we haven’t seen her and her phone’s not answering. Her name’s—”

“Madison. I know. She’s here.”

Luke interrupts the man gruffly, and moves to the side, allowing him entrance to the cabin. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Luke didn’t care for me too much by the way my name rolled off his tongue. But I suspect his tone has more to do with this visitor invading his space…and our time together. He props the gun beside the door and goes to the fire, staring into it wordlessly.

Lou is a much smaller and older man. He’s wearing green hiking pants, a thick jacket, and a simple black ski cap that covers his ears. Salt and pepper gray hair sticks out over his ears. His eyes are bright and wide, and become even more so when he sees me.

“Well, you must be Madison. Good to see you, alive!”

He takes a few more steps in to shake my hand with a smile, seeming to pay no mind to my half-dressed body.

“Hi,” I reply softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry everyone.”

“You did give us a scare. We weren’t sure if you went into town, but we figured you might be close since your car hadn’t moved. I rounded a few of us up the other night planning to hike up in the storm to look for you, but, well, it got a little worse than we expected. It was a tough call.”

The anguish in that decision rested in the deep grooves lining Lou’s forehead and his flattened lips. Suddenly I’m wracked with guilt. God, I’d been so stupid to think no one would care that I’d run off into the wilderness and holed up with a recluse for days. I hadn’t expected to be away from Avalon for so long.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I never meant to put you in that position.”

Lou’s worry lines ease a touch. “Don’t worry yourself over it. All’s well, and you’re safe. That’s the important thing.”

I nod, because I’ve already apologized twice and even though it doesn’t seem like enough, I’m struggling to explain my poor decision making. Sorry, Lou. I was up the mountain having the best sex of my life while you were worrying if I was frozen solid somewhere on the trail.

“Well…” Lou pulls off his ski cap and brushes a hand through his wiry hair. “The snow’s not too treacherous anymore. If you’re wanting an escort down the mountain, I’m happy to take you. Unless you’re coming down soon.”

I follow his gaze toward Luke, whose body has somehow turned to stone. He stands stock still, his arms folded thickly over each other, his legs wide. He’s staring at Lou now with an unreadable expression. Then he shifts his gaze to me, taking a quick circuit up and down my body, before he turns toward the fire and shoves another log into it.

“Thanks, Lou. That’d be great.”

My eyes widen. “But don’t you—”

“Lou’s right. The trail is safe now. Your ankle feels better, right?”

I can’t speak. Another cold gust of air seems to have hit me with Luke’s words.

“Your clothes are clean. I put them in the bathroom. You can borrow one of my jackets for the trip down. I’ll come grab it next time I’m in Avalon.”

My feet feel frozen to the rude floor. I can’t escape the devastating reality that I’m being discarded, suddenly and abruptly. Why can’t he take me down himself? When I’m ready…

But when would I be ready? The truth is that I don’t want to leave. There’s little to do here beyond fuck and eat and sleep and stare at each other, but I haven’t minded it one bit. I swallow over the disappointment that’s thick in my throat and move to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I change into my clothes which have been carefully folded and set atop a wooden shelf that also holds a few mismatched towels. The knees of my jeans had ripped on my quick escape days ago, but have since been sewn back together with thick blue thread. Luke must have mended them at some point when I was sleeping.

My eyes burn. My throat prickles painfully. My stomach starts to burn and it hasn’t for days. This is foolish. I’m a mess. He must have known it, and that’s why he’s turned his back so quickly.

But no matter what I tell myself about Luke, everything is bleeding into feelings I have tried so hard to run from. Jeremy’s words bang through my head as I dress with shaking hands.

We’ve grown apart. It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t feel the same things I used to. It’s not your fault. I can’t be with you. It doesn’t feel right. I’ll always care for you.

Nausea races over the acid that’s creeping up my esophagus. I can’t let Luke know I’m hurting like this. I refuse to give him the satisfaction. We had fun. What the hell more did I expect?

“We don’t see you much these days. Vi misses you. Always asking me how that Luke Dawson is doing. How about you come down sometime?”

“And do what, Lou?”

Luke’s voice is low but Lou laughs. I still my rioting emotions enough to listen intently. Every time Luke speaks, I can almost feel it, like a rough pulse against my palms pressed warmly to the wooden door. I groan inwardly, because the thought of walking down this mountain away from him is almost unbearable. How can that be? Why… Why do I feel this way?

“Well, you could do the usual things. Get your provisions from town. Maybe circle back and spend some time at the main house. Vi makes a mean paella for the residents down there.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I have no interest in getting spoiled.”

“Sure, sure. Maybe we’re not the biggest draw. There are some good folks who come through, though. Looks like you and Miss Atwood got to know each other a bit.”

“I took her in from the storm. What did you expect me to do?”

Luke’s words bite through me. I can’t listen a second longer. I open the door and both men stare at me, each with a different brand of knowing in their eyes.

They can both go to hell. I’m not a victim. I find my sneakers by the door and tug them on. I’m almost out the door when Luke catches my arm and pulls a heavy jacket around me. I struggle, but I’m no match for him. Lou is out the door before I can say anything. He knows. He knows exactly what’s gone on between us, and he’s wisely given us space.

“Fuck you.” I spit out at Luke as he zips up the front of the coat.

“Fuck me?” His strong jaw appears even stronger, his eyes cooler and harder.

“The first sign of life and you kick me out?”

“You didn’t come here to be with me.”

“But I’m here, aren’t I?” I can’t help how my voice wavers, how desperate I sound. Can he just throw me away so easily?

“I can’t go down there.” His voice is hard but tinged with regret.

“Why? Because you don’t want to, or—”

“Because I can’t!”

He shouts the last sentence and the tears that have been burning inside me break free. I swallow helplessly but they leak out of the corners of my eyes. I hate you.

I repeat the mantra that I’ve come to know so well. Except it’s not directed at my ex-husband this time. It’s all for this man who took me into his bed and discarded me just as easily.

I hate you, Luke Dawson.

Madison marches out of the cabin, feet buried in snow up to her ankles, a few paces ahead of Lou. She goes in the wrong direction until he calls to her and she redirects to the path down. God, she’s hopeless and I love her.

I can hardly breathe when I let those words roll through me again. What the fuck…

I shake my head and shut the door, cloistering myself back in the cabin. What I really want is some fresh air. It’s warm outside, relatively. I’ve been holed up with Madison for days, feeding the fire, fanning the flames of my desire for her. I growl and shove a hand through my hair. Goddamn.

I scoop up the cards and tidy up the kitchen. Amazing how messy it gets with a woman around… A woman I can’t keep my hands off of. It’s not practical. Not what I came up here to do. I was falling too deep.

I don’t bother pulling on a coat before I go outside. I shovel a path all around the house. Shovel to the places where work needs to be done. Heavy thick snow. It’ll be water and mud in another day. I don’t know why I bother. But I need to burn. I have to get my mind off her. Because I can’t go down there.

I hate going to town. I walk into the general store, and they all stare. It’s like they know. They know I don’t belong in society. Not that the people of Avalon wear any airs, but I’m not fit for a small town or any town. I’m not fit for a city girl like Madison. Sure, fucking her was one of the best experiences of my existence, but that’s the man in me talking. The man who hasn’t been with a woman in years. Doesn’t matter how soft she is when she moves against me, the sounds she makes when I’m deep inside her, or the easy way we are when it’s quiet. Soon enough she’d want more. My life in the cabin isn’t a life anyone else wants. Best to send her off before I get even more attached.

Even as I rationalize this, I can’t stop thinking about her. I’d made love to her first thing in the morning. Only hours ago I’d tasted her pussy as she sighed and groaned into consciousness. I’d taken my time exploring her with my tongue and fingers, ignoring my erection. I remember thinking, I could wake up every morning this way, worshipping her gorgeous body in my bed. When I couldn’t hold out any longer, I’d spread her wide and fucked her slowly and thoroughly until she was begging me to take her hard to the finish, which I did. Her tight little body could always take all of me. And the look on her face when she came…

I throw the shovel against the side of the cabin and march inside, cursing along the way. Despite being alone so long, I’d accepted and welcomed her into my life without hesitation. What a fucking idiotic thing for me to do.

I’ve been lonely before. Plenty lonely. But it’s always been a manageable discomfort. Doesn’t hurt like the past. Doesn’t hurt like judgement and reliving memories of war. And fuck me, it’s never hurt as much as watching her walk away from me. But I can’t let it get to me.

My time with Madison was a fleeting gift. Like a dip in the springs. A warm little haven. But only for a while. My home is here…and her home is in the city.