The weekend with Megan went almost nothing how I’d expected. In my mind, I imagined that I was running from Eric and his bad behavior and straight into Reed’s arms. I had little doubt that we’d end up in his bed. We had, but I hadn’t let him into my body. He didn’t even kiss me until we’d said goodbye. Something told me I wasn’t going to be seeing him again for a long time, so I let him kiss me senseless. He promised me again that he’d always be there for me, and the way he’d proven to me that he could be a friend without sex in the equation made me really believe him. Maybe there was a way to go backward from a hookup and find true friendship. And maybe that was what had brought him back into my life this second time, with a fate of friendship, not love.

As I sat on the bus that would take me back to my campus and my life, I pulled my phone out and absently went through the motions of checking my apps and my email. I went to my voice messages and thought about replaying Eric’s drunken message from Friday night. I’d checked the score online. They’d barely won. I wasn’t sure if I could have alleviated the guilt if they’d lost. The big game was this coming weekend, and then we’d both be heading home to Ridgeville.

When I arrived back at the dorm, Lacey was sitting at her desk with her nose in a book. She lifted her head and nodded toward my desk. “You got a delivery. I wasn’t sure when you were getting back. Eric’s been here a few times looking for you.”

On my desk was a beautiful bouquet of fall flowers arranged in a short crystal vase. The aroma filled the room. And even though my first instinct was to call Eric, fly into his arms, and fuck until we couldn’t be angry with each other anymore, I resisted the temptation.

Eric had his game and I had my own academic pressures. We had to talk, but we both had a lot riding on us this week. Beyond that, I had no idea what I would say right now. Everything was about to change. Things had to change…

“Lacey, if he comes by again, can you cover for me? Just let him know I’m at the library or something? I need this week to get through finals, and he’s the ultimate distraction.”

Lacey hesitated. “Sure, but he looks kind of desperate. Can you at least call him or something?”

I shook my head with a sigh. “It’s complicated. I can’t really see him right now.”

She held my stare. “Are you breaking up with him?”

I laughed and dropped down onto my bed. “We’d have to be dating for me to break up with him.”

“You know what I mean. You’re together, like it or not.”

I shrugged, ignoring her persistence. I knew she meant well, but I was done with everyone’s advice. The only voice I could hear right now was Reed’s, telling me to follow my heart. I had to choose my own path. No one could choose it for me.

---

Under my advisor’s tutelage, I’d signed up for every class I could breeze through to allow maximum time for sports. And that’s exactly what I did during finals week. I knew Clare’s classes were much more challenging, and I didn’t envy her.

The week wasn’t without its stresses, however. It’d been almost two weeks without seeing Clare, and I felt like I was starving. Cut off from everything that made life worth waking up for.

She’d texted me only once. A simple message thanking me for the flowers and saying that she’d come see me when her finals were through. But that wasn’t nearly enough to take the edge off. I needed to touch her. I wanted to breathe her air. I had to make love to her, because it was the only way I knew how to break down every wall between us.

Right now, I was outside the wall she’d built around herself, and I had no idea how to push past it. Tonight I had to focus on the game. My future at this school depended on it. Once we got past this week, though, I’d be merciless.

The lights glowed above the field, and the crowd was roaring with anticipation. I felt the pressure to perform deep in my bones. Even though I was warmed up, my muscles jumped from the nerves. I was edgy and fully at war with myself. Doubts that I could pull this off clawed for attention in my brain.

I shook my head, trying to dislodge them, and threw a practice pass to Travis. I had to focus. I had to envision the win. And I had to get the fear of losing Clare out of my head.

Travis tossed the ball back, and I heard a girl’s voice call out my name. I glanced over my shoulder to where the cheerleaders were lined up. The brunette from the locker room was shaking her pompoms, doing her job to get the crowd and the team pumped up. Her cheerful gaze was fixed on me, but just past her, in the bleachers, another face caught my eye.

Clare was there, dressed in our colors. Her strawberry-blond hair curled around her face and fell over her shoulders. I thought my heart was going to fucking explode. Suddenly, I had oxygen again when I’d been deprived of it for days. I had sustenance, Clare in the flesh, when I’d been surviving only on memories. My feet froze in the turf, but every cell in my body wanted to propel me to her. Because in that single moment, we were the only two people who existed. She was my Clare. The same sweet girl who’d cheered me on from the stands all through school whether I’d known it or not. The same brave girl who’d given herself to me so completely. By some miracle, with hundreds of people cluttering the view, then and now, she had come into focus.

I mouthed the words, “I love you,” to her. Her eyes glittered with emotion.

My nerves calmed. Everything was clearer. Then Travis hollered my name, drawing my attention back to the field. I pulled back and arrowed the ball right into his hands.

The game sped by. The opposition came at us hard, but we were a force to be reckoned with. I saw every play before it happened. Split-second decisions moved us down the field with speed and accuracy. I’d never felt more a part of the team I’d spent the whole semester playing with.

We didn’t just win. We destroyed them.

Coach came out onto the field with the other staff after the final whistle blew. He slapped me hard on the arm that wasn’t sore from throwing passes. “Good job, son. I’ll be a son of a bitch if they don’t go running home crying to their mommas after that game.”

I laughed and let him pull me in for a manly hug. Before the team could drag me into the locker room, I sprinted to the sideline where Clare stood among the cheering masses. I scaled the stands to the second row, pushed past a couple people who stood between us, and hauled her against me. She parted her lips to say something, but I stole her words with a kiss. The fierce claiming of her mouth was met with a fresh roar of hoots and cheers around us.

Relief flooded every vein. Relief that we’d won. That Clare was back in my arms. That the rest of the school knew she was mine. The greatest relief came with the promise that maybe our future wasn’t lost.

I pulled away only to catch my breath. “See me tonight.”

She smiled tearfully, her pink lips wet and swollen from my kisses. “No, you go celebrate with your team. They deserve it. You deserve it.”

I frowned. “Clare…” Goddamn, this woman was going to kill me.

She shook her head and put a little pressure on my chest. “Go, they want to see their hero. We’ll talk later.”

Against every instinct, I pulled away. But not before I took her lips one last time. I stopped just before my cock started throbbing. It was one thing to let the cheerleaders know Clare Winston made me hard as a fucking rock. It was another to let the entire campus know it.

---

I didn’t sleep much the night of Eric’s win. The adrenaline that had surged through me during the game had barely waned hours later, making me jumpy and energized when I should have been resting for the journey home tomorrow.

Lacey had left campus with her parents after the game, so I killed time tidying up our room and packing my bags for the trip home. The longing that Eric had inspired with his very public kiss only sharpened as the hours passed. Just past midnight I’d given up trying to get him out of my head. Falling into bed, I slid my hand into my panties and hurriedly brought myself to orgasm. I cried out, Eric’s name on my lips, my pussy slick and ready for him. The relief was fleeting, and hell if the ache to have him filling me up with his cock wasn’t sharp as ever afterward.

Early the next morning, fueled with only a few hours of sleep, I texted Paul, asking him to meet me for coffee. He agreed, and the prospect of seeing him filled me with a fresh wave of uneasiness. The semester was over, and I couldn’t help but feel like I’d made an utter mess of my social life.

Even though I’d managed to avoid talking to Paul, I knew we needed to sit down and hash things out if I had any chance of saving our friendship. Unlike the level-headed Reed, Paul was hurt and overly emotional about the fact that I’d slept with him. I’d given him time to process everything and hopefully understand once and for all that we couldn’t have a romantic future together.

Whether or not he had come to this realization on his own, I cared enough about keeping him in my life to make sure I gave him the right reasons to stay.

He was waiting at a table in the campus café when I arrived. I ordered a coffee and took the seat opposite his.

“Hi,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Hey.” He adjusted his glasses and kept his stare fixed on the tabletop between us.

“I’m sorry about everything, Paul.”

He lifted his gaze, his eyebrow arched. “You’re sorry?”

“I should have been more careful with our friendship. It makes me sick to think that I’ve jeopardized that.”

He winced, and sadness washed across his features. “Clare, I’m still your friend. I just wish I could be more.”

I nodded. “I know that now. I’m sorry if I misled you. I tried to be honest with you.”

“You were. You told me everything. I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it.”

I sighed, hating that I’d hurt my friend so much. “I want you to know that this isn’t about Eric. It’s not about me choosing him over you or anything like that.”

His lips tightened. “Sure feels that way.”

I reached over and grabbed his hand, pulling it toward me. “I don’t compare everyone in my life to him and then decide how I feel. I really care about you, Paul. You’re my friend for reasons that have nothing to do with him and everything to do with the time we’ve shared together this year. We’ve gotten to know each other a lot. I respect you, and I love being around you. You make me laugh. You’re the best study buddy a girl could have.”

He met my small smile with one of his own.

“Promise me that we haven’t lost that,” I said, my voice a whisper.

He tightened his hold on my hand, threading our fingers together before leaning in and holding me with his warm green gaze. “Loving you doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend, Clare. It just means that I have to honor the boundaries you’ve set for our relationship. I respect that now. And if anyone should be sorry, it should be me. I came on strong, and I basically lied when I said that I could accept one night in your bed for what it was…one night. That was selfish of me.”

I took comfort in the warmth of his hand in mine. The muscles that once held tension in anticipation of this conversation began to relax. “I forgive you, okay?”

His smile broadened. “Good.”

“Friends?”

He nodded. His mouth softened and his gaze grew warm with affection. “Friends.”

---

“Where is Clare?” My mom didn’t bother hugging me when I stepped through the door. Instead she stared at me with wide-eyed concern.

“Hello to you too, Mom,” I muttered, though the same question had been on my mind over the four-hour drive back home. I’d partied with my pals all night, nursed a decent hangover the next morning, and by the time I got to Clare’s dorm later that day, both Lacey and she were gone.

She’d never given me a chance to officially invite her to stay with me back in Ridgeville for the holiday. I didn’t expect she’d say yes anyway. Things had been too shaky between us. Didn’t change the fact that I wasn’t going to go another day without her. I was done waiting.

“Did she dump you already?” My little brother piped up from his reclining posture on the couch where he was busy killing zombies on the latest video game.

My jaw tensed, and I fought the urge to rain hell on that little twerp. “No, she didn’t dump me. I’m going to see her right now.”

My mother nodded, but worry wrinkled her forehead. “And you’ll bring her back?”

“I’m not leaving there without her. I should be back for dinner.” I dropped my bags and turned for the door.

Fifteen minutes later, I was on the south side of town, a far cry from the manicured lawns and newly developed neighborhoods where my parents’ home was. When the economy tanked, many of the homes in this part of town went vacant. I drove slowly, scanning home after home for Clare’s house. I parked when I spotted the modest white ranch where Clare had grown up. The lawn was overgrown, and the vinyl siding was battered from years of weather.

I went to the front door and knocked. A steady murmur and the sound of voices filtered through the door, but no one answered. I knocked again, longer and louder, but still nothing. I was too amped, too goddamn determined to turn back now. I turned the knob and opened the door into a darkened living room. The television blared loudly with a college football game, and the light from the screen danced across the face of a man I guessed was Clare’s father. He lay motionless on the couch, and his stale odor hit my nostrils around the same time I realized he was completely passed out. A nearly empty handle of vodka was the centerpiece on a coffee table otherwise littered with empty frozen dinner containers and trash.

Something slammed farther into the house, and I followed the sound into the kitchen. Clare was at the counter, earbuds tucked into her ears, her hands moving feverishly over the surface—putting things away, tossing others in the nearby trash, and wiping a clean path as she went.

My heart wanted to leap at the sight of her, but instead it felt like it was breaking, knowing this is how she’d lived before she left for college. Good God…

I came up behind her, placing a hand gently at her back. She twisted with a scream before slapping her hand over her mouth.

“Eric, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.”

Realization seemed to hit when her gaze darted around the messy kitchen and then back to me. “What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you. I promised my mom I was going to bring you home with me. You never gave me that chance.”

Her face fell. I drew my fingertips down her cheek and brushed my lips over hers before she could say no.

“Eric.” Her voice was a breathless whisper. “We need to talk.”

“Take me to your room.”

Her gaze fluttered up to mine, but she only hesitated a moment before taking my hand and leading me to the back of the house. Unlike the rest of what I’d seen, Clare’s room was immaculate. Neat and organized and very much a girl’s room. Light lavender paint, pictures on the walls, and a white lacy duvet covering her twin bed. I moved slowly around the room, taking in the details. The area above her small writing desk was decorated with awards from her academic achievements at Ridgeville High.

“You did all this on your own.” I glanced back at her, not because I needed her to agree, but because I wanted her to know I understood. One look at this place, and I could see plain as day that she’d had virtually no support. Least of all from the poor excuse of a human holding down the couch right now.

She nodded with a swallow. “Pretty much.”

I glanced back to the wall, as proud of her as I ever had been. Then, tucked in the corner of the mirror was a newspaper clipping highlighting the championship we’d won the night Travis and I had her in Coach’s office. Travis was beside me, smiling right along with the rest of the team as we celebrated our win.

“I’ll never forget that night,” she said quietly.

I turned and went to her, no longer willing to keep any distance between us. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pinned her against me.

She gazed up at me, her cool blue eyes ravaging my heart. “I had dreamed of you so many nights. Right here. And then, like a dream, you came true.”

I wove my fingers through her hair, in awe of everything about her right now. “And I failed you.”

She shook her head. “You were everything I dreamed, and so much more.”

“You gave me everything,” I whispered.

She nodded.

“Do you regret it?”

I waited not so patiently for her answer. God, if she regretted what I put us through it would gut me beyond repair.

“I don’t regret a minute of it. But things have to change, Eric. This has been an intense year. Being with you…it’s all-consuming. I’ve loved you longer than you’ve even known my name. And because I have, I gave you all my trust from day one.”

“Tell me how I can earn it back. I’ll give you anything. Anything, Clare…”

“If there’s only room for two of us in this relationship, we have to leave jealousy and lies at the door. You have to promise me that.”

“I promise,” I murmured. “I fucked up. I couldn’t stomach the thought of you being with that guy.”

“I wasn’t with him.”

I frowned and then released the tension as the truth hit me. All the sordid imaginings of him fucking her had become nightmares for me. Now they disappeared knowing that she hadn’t spent the weekend in his bed.

“You didn’t see him?”

“I did, but we decided that we were better off as friends. I talked to Paul too. He knows friendship has to be enough, otherwise we can’t have anything.”

I exhaled heavily. “So it’s just us.”

She didn’t answer. She only lifted against me and pressed her mouth to mine. The smallest gesture released the animal in me that had craved her body for days. I kissed her deeply and possessively as I pushed her down to the bed.

I stripped her down quickly. I spread her legs and stared at the beautiful wet petals of her pussy.

“Goddamn, you’re so beautiful.”

My mouth watered at the prospect of tasting her arousal, but my cock was ready to burst if I didn’t get inside her. She bit her lip and bowed off the bed slightly. I growled and took the space between her thighs, not wasting another precious second getting inside her.

She gasped when our bodies joined with a hard jolt. I froze there, deeply embedded in her. Suddenly I was breathless with the singular pleasure of being nestled inside her perfect pussy.

“Clare…look at me.”

She opened her eyes to half-mast.

“Every time I’m here…” I thrust gently. “I remember how you felt the first time. So perfect. So welcoming of everything I wanted to give you.”

I began slow and steady drives that brought us together.

“And I knew from that moment no one would ever make me feel that way. I knew you were special. That together, we were special.”

Her lip trembled when she said my name. I drove harder, intent on banishing her tears. Her tight pussy added the perfect friction over my cock. I wanted to fuck her hard and come harder, but I was too enraptured with the gift of having her in my arms again. I held her stare, desperate to witness her pleasure, needing her to recognize how much I loved her in this moment.

However long we made love wasn’t long enough. I could have existed on the brink of ecstasy with her forever, but as her climax overtook her, my control slipped. I swallowed her cries, moaning against her sweet mouth through my own release. My lips never left hers in a kiss that simultaneously soothed us through the aftershocks and sparked a new wave of desire.

Then I was hard again, fucking her, loving her…staking claim to the body I’d grown to worship, losing myself inside the only girl I’d ever loved.