CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Raven
It had been twelve hours since Parker Hamilton’s lips were on mine, and despite two showers, I could still feel the roughness of his teeth as they grazed across my lower lip.
It’d been twelve hours since he’d walked up to me and basically silently taken my mouth with his, and there was no ridding the sensation of his tongue as it teased the seam of my mouth.
It’d been twelve hours since I’d stood there and allowed him to kiss me, and I didn’t know how to get rid of the guilt.
I’d kissed him first. I still didn’t know why. Figuring it out seemed absolutely impossible. There was no rhyme or reason for why I’d stepped forward, laid my hand on his arm, and kissed him. I didn’t remember wanting to. I didn’t remember even thinking about doing it.
I just did it.
An impulse.
That was all it was.
Yet I couldn’t shake the memory of the way lust filled his eyes—of the way he’d clamped his jaw shut before he’d stormed out.
Now, I knew I should’ve let him go when he came out of the kitchen. He was leaving, and stopping him was the stupidest thing I could have done. I could have texted him or even waited until today. Then, I could have apologized and we could have moved on. Forgotten it.
But, no.
I had to stop him.
I had to ask.
And he had to kiss me. Properly.
There was no reason for that one, either. He didn’t need to kiss me, but he did. It served no purpose other than to give me a restless night’s sleep where I, ridiculously, kept imagining my brother walking in on him kissing me.
On second thought, it wasn’t so ridiculous when you considered it was his phone call that had made me push Parker away...and pushed me into hiding in my apartment until I knew his car had left the lot.
Talking to my brother with the taste of his best friend on my lips was the most awkward thing I’ve done in a while. It wasn’t even just the taste of him. My lips tingled the entire phone call, and by the time I’d agreed to god only knew what so I could get off the damn thing, I’d realized one thing.
My lipstick was chapped and smudged in the corners, and while I knew me biting off loose skin was partly to blame, there was no denying that Parker was entirely responsibility for the smudging I’d struggled to get rid of.
All morning, I’d been trying to focus on one single emotion. I was confused and frustrated, torn and tired. I’d been dragging ass ever since I forced myself out of bed, and now, as I hid in the cellar under the guise of organizing it, I was still dragging my ass.
I had everything organized, it just happened to be on the floor in front of me.
It was easier to keep shifting it around on the ground than to put everything up on the shelves and in storage where it belonged. If I did that, I’d ultimately be done soon, and then I faced the task of handling my emotions
I needed to get a hold on it. My grandmother wanted a lunch date to figure out what food I was putting on for the Karras family reunion. If I dared give her anything less than one hundred percent of my attention, I’d be hearing about it for the next five years.
Knowing that didn’t make the task any easier.
Neither did the fact I knew that if I still felt as conflicted as I did when she showed up—with Ryan—that she’d sense it right away and not let up until I gave in and told her what was bugging me.
What I needed was a do-over. Of the entire weekend. Back to the point where I’d opened my big, fat wine-hole at the very least.
Failing the do-over, I’d take a memory wipe. Maybe even a concussion. That lead to short-term memory loss, right? I needed to forget every second of the kiss or it totally stood to destroy my entire day. Shit, my morning had been a bust, because here I was...sitting in the middle of the cellar floor, surrounded by bottles and crates and cans and boxes.
I didn’t want to do a damn thing with any of it. I wanted to leave it where it was on the floor. Except...I couldn’t. It all needed putting back. The rest of my family were due to arrive throughout this week, and I’d had to order in their favorite drinks especially. There was more in the cellar than usual, which had ultimately prompted my clean up.
I needed to be able to control something. I couldn’t control this situation with Parker. I couldn’t control my feelings over it, either.
Or him.
I couldn’t control my feelings for him.
I didn’t understand them. They’d come out of nowhere, the complete opposite to everything I’d ever felt for him before. Instead of wanting to be on the other side of the world to him, I wanted to be closer to him. And now he’d kissed me, I wanted to be even closer.
I wanted to know what would happen if we weren’t interrupted. If, in the unlikely situation he ever kissed me again, I had questions.
Would he go further?
Would he kiss me deeper? Harder? Longer?
Would he push me against a wall and slip his hand beneath my shirt?
Would he wrap my legs around his waist the way he said before?
I had no right to ask these questions. I had no right to even be thinking about it. I knew that. This situation was wrong. It felt like the ultimate betrayal of my brother to be thinking about his best friend in such a way.
If Ryan ever knew Parker had kissed me, I didn’t know what would happen to their friendship. Sure, Ryan and I bickered, but he was still my big brother. He was still the guy who, even from across the country, tracked down complete strangers whose name he’d heard from Mom to tell them that if they fucked with me, he’d fuck them up.
It didn’t matter who they were. It just mattered that they could hurt me.
The u-turn in mine and Parker’s relationship would not be welcome.
That much I was entirely certain of.
But it wasn’t really a u-turn. It was a fluke, a one-time occurrence, something that I would make sure would never happen again.
Because it was that simple.
Maybe if I kept reminding myself of that, I’d be swallowed by guilt to the point I’d forget what it felt like to have Parker’s hands in my hair and his lips against mine.
Maybe.
***
“Raven!” Yia-Yia snapped her fingers in front of my face. “You concentrate.”
I blinked, pulling myself back to the conversation. “Sorry. I didn’t sleep much last night.”
“Why?” Ryan eyed me from over his cup of coffee.
“Can a girl just not have a bad night’s sleep?” My question was honest, but my voice was a little too on edge to make it believable that was the reason. “I’m here alone tonight and I want a nap.”
“No nap!” Yia-Yia rapped her knuckles against the table and glared at me with her intimidatingly dark eyes. “You help.”
I propped my head up on my hand. “Why don’t we just put all the food out? If we cut out half the menu, someone is just gonna complain. Cleo will get annoyed if there’s no tiganita, Demetri will cry if there’s no bifteki, Aunt Helena will moan all night if there’s no astakos, and god forbid if there isn’t enough spanakopita for Lia to stuff her face with.”
Ryan wrinkled his face up. “Lia’s coming?”
Yia-Yia tapped the side of his head with her pen. “Né,” she said. Yes. “Why she not?”
Lia was a bone of contention for my brother. She wasn’t technically family as her mom had married our cousin when she was six, and for as long as we could remember, she’d had a crush on Ryan.
I grinned. “Surprise.”
He shot me a withering look. If our grandmother wasn’t present, he would have told me to go and fuck myself for sure.
“What?” I asked, dropping the smile and taking on my most innocent, wide-eyed look. “I love Lia. It’s not my fault if she has a crush on you.”
Yia-Yia shook her head and tapped her ring finger.
“She’s married?” Ryan asked hopefully.
She shook her head again, scribbling on the paper.
Oh, good. She wanted to play charades.
“Engaged?” he tried again, a little less happy, but still quite brightly.
More head-shaking.
“Expected to be engaged?” was my guess.
Yia-Yia pointed a finger in my direction. “Né. He ask soon.”
“She gonna say yes?” Ryan still looked hopeful.
“Until she sees how hunky you are.” I grinned again. “Then she’s gonna be asking for your phone number.”
Another ‘fuck yourself’ look came my way.
“Child! Focus!” Yia-Yia turned the conversation back immediately to her menu.
Why she couldn’t just use the regular menu, I’d never know. It wasn’t like we didn’t have enough time to order in a ton of stuff to make sure we had enough of everything for everybody. Parker could handle it—he’d worked in New York for years, for the love of god.
My grandmother was making a mountain out of a molehill. There was no need for all this screwing around, and I didn’t even know why I was here except for the fact I’d been told to be. I was the drinks person in the family. This was a conversation for Ryan and Parker, not me.
I just wanted to know what drinks I needed to be mixing.
Whether or not those drinks would pair well with the food being served...That depended almost entirely on my ability to be able to work with Parker and his with me. The plan to do a pairing was great before The Kiss.
The Kisses?
How was I meant to refer to it, except hopefully not at all?
“She doesn’t know what she’s doing, Yia-Yia,” Ryan said, waving his hand in my direction. “Look at her. She has a point that everyone has their favorite, but she doesn’t run the food here. When does Parker get here, Ray?”
I hit the Home button on my phone and checked the time. “Any minute.”
Damn it.
“And I really have to go restock the shelves,” I said, sliding my chair back from the table. “Alec is coming in to help him today, so he’ll have time to help you do your menu.”
Yia-Yia snorted, but she didn’t say anything else.
Secretly, she was probably glad to be rid of me. I’d contributed absolutely nothing since I’d sat down. All I wanted to do was get the hell away before Parker showed up and an awkward situa—
The door swung open.
I saw his feet first. I didn’t know why that was where I looked. Maybe it was because starting from the bottom and working my way up his body was easier to stomach than our eyes instantly meeting. Unfortunately, it also meant that I had to take in every inch of him as my gaze worked its way up over his light, ripped jeans, baby-blue polo shirt, and stubbled jaw.
He hadn’t shaved.
“Finally!” Yia-Yia exclaimed, throwing her arms up. “Now we do proper.”
“Err.” Parker closed the door behind him. “What are we doing properly?”
I’m glad he could understand her broken English. It saved me having to translate.
“Menu.” Ryan gave him a wry smile. “Raven was about as useful as a condom in a nunnery.”
“Hey!” I turned to face him and set my hand on his hip. “I reminded everyone that we need all the food because our family is insanely picky.”
“And that was very helpful,” he drawled, not looking at me.
“Well, what did you expect?” Parker asked, walking right past me and sitting in the seat I’d just vacated. “Look at the menu she drew up for this place. It’s only decent because I forced her into it. She’d serve chicken wings to a toddler if left alone with one for too long.”
“Are we done with the bitching out Raven party?” My words snapped out of me.
“Raven!” Yia-Yia pointed a wrinkled finger at me. “Watch your mouth,” she reprimanded me in Greek.
Sure. They can bitch at me but the second I use a marginally naughty word I’m in trouble?
That made perfect damn sense.
“I’m going to get some real work done,” I huffed, turning away.
The only good thing that came from that was the fact I didn’t have to look Parker in the eye.
***
I hummed along to the latest Ed Sheeran song as I finally finished putting the stock back on the shelves in the cellar. It’d taken the better part of two and a half hours to get it all back where it was supposed to be.
If this exercise had taught me anything, it was that I should never, ever do it again.
“Are you still in here?”
I turned at the sound of Ryan’s voice. “Given the fact you’re out there and I’m in here, it’s pretty obvious.”
“Jesus, Ray, what’s up your ass?”
I waved him off. “I’m tired,” I replied, only half-lying. “The summer rushes plus opening the kitchen plus this family reunion is making me tired.”
“You don’t look tired.”
“Of course, I don’t. I’m a woman. I have the capability to hide any emotions I want to.”
“Except annoyance.”
“Then don’t piss me off.” I grinned as I stood. “Is Yia-Yia still here?”
He shook his head and stepped back so I could leave the cellar. “She left half an hour ago. Something about needing lobster.”
“Right. You didn’t leave with her?”
“Are you kidding?” He followed me out to the bar. “If I left with her, I’d have to drive her home then come back.”
“Why do you need to come back?” I spun and stopped right in front of him. “You’re not staying here.”
His eyes widened. “Uh, slip of the tongue.” He side-stepped me.
I moved with him. “Ryan.”
“I have a date tonight, all right?”
I grinned again. “Are you bringing her here?”
“So I can scare her off with my insane sister? Yeah, why not?” He snorted and physically moved me to his side so he could step past me. “I’m done here. Later.”
I stuck my middle finger up after him.
He looks back and catches it. “By the way,” he said slowly. “Did you do something to Parker? He’s in a really shit mood.”
“Why do you assume that’s me?” Aside from the obvious.
“Because it’s always you.”