ANNA’S BRAIN TRIPPED over itself trying to understand what Nick was saying to her.
He walked around the bed and picked up her unresponsive hands, holding them in his.
“Come with me. You’re right. We’ve done the apart thing long enough. You’re always saying you can work anywhere, so come with me! It’ll be an adventure. Brendan can fly out once a week or whatever. We’ll rent a house. Please, Anna,” he said, his voice breaking. “Please. Come with me.”
She pulled her hands from his and sat up slowly.
Nick’s heart lurched when he saw that she was crying.
“Why?” she said, her voice raw. “What’s the point?”
“Anna … I fucking love you. That’s the point. That’s why I want you to come with me.” He rubbed his forehead. “I know … I think I know … I think I understand, but don’t you see that I’ve been doing all of this for you, for us? How can I be a husband, a father one day, when I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing? God, you work so hard, and I’m at home sitting on my arse. I’m trying, Anna! Believe me, I’m trying. Maybe I’m saying it all wrong, maybe I’m doing it all wrong. Fuck, I don’t know what I’m doing, but without you, it doesn’t mean anything. You, you’re everything. And maybe I don’t say it enough, but I want to deserve you and I know I don’t. Everything I do, Anna, every breath I breathe, it’s for you.”
Anna swallowed, her heavy eyes meeting his.
She saw the pain and confusion. She saw the frustration and desperation. And she saw the truth: he loved her.
Was it really that simple?
He loves me.
“I’ve been such an idiot,” she said to herself, her voice fading.
Nick frowned, uncertain of her meaning.
She scowled at him, her dark eyes flashing with fire.
“You maybe couldn have said all that a couple of months ago, or maybe six, or maybe twelve? You wait till now to tell me all this?”
Nick’s expression faltered.
“I thought you knew,” he said softly.
Anna sighed, a sound of exasperation.
“Nick,” she said gently, cupping his cheek. “I’m not a mind-reader. I only know if you tell me.”
He blinked and gave a tentative smile, closing his eyes and leaning into her hand.
“I’m not very bright, Anna. Too many knocks on the head.”
She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him against her so his head was resting over her heart.
“It’s true,” she said, a smile in her voice. “For a smart guy you can be awful dumb. And I think it’s catching, because I’ve definitely been suffering from the same brand of dumbness lately.”
“Are we okay?” he asked softly.
“No,” she sighed, “but I think we will be.”
He sat up, drawing her with him, so they were both propped against the headboard.
“Will you come with me? To France?”
Anna rolled the idea around in her head. Brendan had suggested it, but she’d been so pig-headed, so certain that Nick didn’t want her. So certain, and so wrong.
Nick’s hopeful expression fell at her continuing silence.
“Actually,” she said slowly, “I have something to tell you, as well. I was going to tell you yesterday when I came home but…”
She shrugged.
Nick swallowed, steeling himself for bad news.
“Two pieces of news,” she said tentatively.
Nick wished she’d hurry up. He was having palpitations waiting for the axe to fall.
“I had a meeting with Isabel Buxton yesterday, the senior producer on Loose Women. And she offered me a job.”
Nick had expected something else and now he was even more off balance.
“Doing what? Research?”
“Not exactly. She wants me to be one of the presenters, one of the anchors.”
Nick felt as though his heart had stopped beating. This was it. She was leaving him for something better.
“Congratulations,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You deserve it.”
“Thank you,” she said carefully, aware that his endorsement was hardly heart-felt. “I haven’t said yes yet.”
Nick looked down at his hands, those hands that were bent and gnarled from more breaks and sprains than he could count.
“But you will,” he said, his voice empty.
Anna didn’t reply immediately.
“It’s two days of filming each week in West London. Two consecutive days. For the other five days a week I can be … anywhere I like.”
A kernel of hope sprouted in Nick’s barren heart.
“Where do you want to be?” he murmured, holding his breath.
“With you,” she said simply. “If you want me.”
Relief rushed through him like cool water on a blistering day, but Anna held up her hand as he started to reach for her.
“I have two pieces of news, remember? And the second one pretty much trumps everything else.”
He looked up at her expectantly, his whiskey-coloured eyes wide and trusting.
Anna took her courage in her hands and met his gaze.
“I’m pregnant.”
Nick stared. Doubted. And finally, finally, the meaning sank in.
A thousand words roared in his head, all were hopelessly inadequate, none of them could express how he felt.
He took her face gently between his broken, battered hands and kissed her softly, sweetly: her mouth, her cheeks, her forehead, the tip of her nose, making her giggle. And then he leaned down and gently kissed her belly.
Happy tears filled Anna’s eyes and she stroked his unruly hair.
“Are you okay with this?” she whispered.
His head moved against her stomach in a tiny nod, but he didn’t speak.
“Truly?”
When he looked up at her, tears glistened in his eyes.
“We made a baby?”
“Yes, we did.”
Nick closed his eyes, and Anna watched the most glorious smile spread across his beautiful face.
“We made a baby,” he sighed, resting his head on her belly again. “Hey, junior, it’s your dad here. It’s nice to meet you. Well, I won’t meet you for a while…”
He frowned, glancing up at Anna.
“When’s he due?”
“ ‘He’ might be a ‘she’.”
“Okay. When’s she due?”
“April 26th.”
He leaned down again, still speaking to her belly.
“Okay, so we won’t actually meet until April, but that’s cool. I’m not sure if you’re Little Nick or Little Anna, but don’t worry about it. I’ll just call you Mini Me.”
Anna laughed as Nick grinned up at her.
“Hmm, okay,” she smiled. “We might need to discuss that.”
But Nick had a distant, dreamy look on his face, his happiness so obvious that Anna couldn’t help the burst of joy that she felt through every part of her body.
“Kiss me, Nick,” she whispered.
He sat up slowly.
“Is it okay to … you know?”
Anna laughed gently.
“It’s very okay. In fact it’s required.”
Nick grinned back.
“Well, in that case…” and his warm, soft lips came down on hers, his beard brushing against her skin.
She reached up, tugging on his shoulders so he was hovering above her.
“And Nick?”
“Yes, luv?”
“I love you, too. I never stopped loving you. Never.”
His expression became serious.
“Without you, I…”
His throat clogged and he couldn’t go on.
Anna tugged gently on a lock of his hair.
“Nick, don’t you get it? We’re stronger together.”
He nodded, still unable to speak.
Anna smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips.
“And yes, I’ll come to France.”