Okay, so it wasn’t Butthead’s lair. But at the time, I didn’t know it. All I knew was he carried me into a weird place with things that made no sense.

Like the rose-colored carpet on the floor, lumpy and curling at the edges, stained by dust.

A dining room set, the wood also covered in a patina of gray—indicating a strong need for a maid or, at least, a vacuum.

More things I recognized dotted the room, such as a television, and stereo, both silent. It took only a moment for my brain to have a light-bulb moment.

These were the missing items from Peabody’s house. He wasn’t completely crazy.

I, on the other hand, might be a little off-kilter because, sitting on a throne at the far end of the room, was a man. Not a demon. Or a monster. Not even a guy with horns and a tail, but a hottie of epic proportions.

Flame-red hair, a smirk on his lips, and a red spark in his eyes. His alabaster skin smooth, his body lean and dressed in faded black leather.

“If it isn’t Miss Brenda Jane Whittaker.”

He knew my name. That couldn’t be good. “Hi.” It seemed rude to say nothing.

“I’ve been hearing a lot about you lately.”

What had he heard? Good stuff? Bad? Did I care? “Oh, like what?” I played it safe.

“You’re the direct descendent of Jasmine Baker. Or, as we used to call her before she escaped this hell, Jas’a’meen Ba’ak’ra, which translates to she who bakes the blood of her enemies.”

I blinked because I knew the first name he mentioned. “Are you talking about Meemaw?” My sweet little meemaw?

“So you admit to being related to her?”

“She’s my grandma.”

“Twice removed heir.” He sniffed the air. “I can smell her faintly on your skin.”

“Which is kind of gross considering I showered.” And I hadn’t seen Meemaw since she’d left on her cruise a few weeks ago.

“We’ve been waiting a long time to find her again.”

“Hate to break it to you, but you still technically haven’t. I mean, I’m here, she’s not, and given I’m pretty sure you’re not on any map, it’s doubtful she’ll find me.” No one would find me. Even my wolfie lovers, if still interested, would have a hard time sniffing my trail into Hell.

“We don’t need her to come to us. You were kind enough to heed our call.”

“What call? I’m pretty sure I didn’t answer any numbers from Hell recently.” If it had 666 in it, I knew better than to say hello.

“You were lured here as part of my plan. You are the key I need to escape this place.”

“Key?” I looked down at myself. “I’m pretty sure I don’t fit in any lock.” More like people inserted things into me, not the other way around, but I wasn’t about to mention that to the freaky, redheaded dude.

“On the contrary, you are the thing I’ve been searching for.”

“Does this mean you’re the one who has been possessing people?”

“Not me.” His face crinkled with disgust. “Even if ruling in disgrace, I do have some standards. My minions, on the other hand, have been taking over and driving the human bodies we’ve appropriated until they break. Invariably, all you weak humans break, even with proper feeding. You can’t contain our mighty essences for long. But your blood will change that.”

“My blood isn’t special. It’s not even rare.” Not that I did my civic duty and donated often. Meemaw felt very strongly about blood banks, and so I abstained.

“On the contrary, your blood is very special. Or did you not pay attention? You are a blend of daemon and human.” He gave it an odd inflection.

“I am not a demon.”

“Not a full-blooded one. Just a quarter-breed, and found by the luckiest of chances. And to think you almost fed one of my minions.”

“Who?” And yet, I could guess. Who but Mrs. Peabody had eyed me with such strange hunger?

“It matters not how you came to me, the fact of the matter is that you are mine to use now. Your essence, while diluted, should be exactly what I need to survive outside this plane of existence. If I imbibe enough of it, enough to change my own blood, I shall be able to cross to your world without needing the body of another.”

Of all the things this handsome—yet apparently not human—man told me, one thing stood out, and it wasn’t the fact that he wanted my blood to invade Earth.

Meemaw’s a demon!

Holy shit. That probably explained her gruff personality and the fact that we’d never had a pet. But given that she even lived outside Hell meant she’d siphoned someone’s blood first.

Someone like me.

“Put out your hand.”

I tucked my arms behind my back. “Hold on a second. Let’s not be hasty. I mean, how do you know it’s even good enough?”

“I can smell it.”

Again, totally gross. “Can’t you get it from somewhere else?”

“If I could, I wouldn’t need you. Hold her still,” he ordered.

The big brute who’d answered the door grabbed me tightly, and I could only watch as a slimmer demon, his skin a grayish green, his eyes drooping in his sagging face, approached, a knife in one hand.

“Aren’t you going to use a needle?” I asked.

“No.”

“Have you at least sterilized that thing? I don’t want to catch a demonic infection,” I babbled, my mouth being the only thing I could move.

“You won’t die. I need you, and when I’m done transforming, then your blood will feed the army I shall raise.”

“Army? For what?” I asked, wincing as the blade drew a deep line on my arm. Blood welled in the cut. Bright red, the brightest thing in this place other than my sparkling personality.

“To conquer your world, of course. I shall call a legion to my banner. Feeding them the taint of your human blood, crossed with that of a powerful demon, we shall cross the rift that has formed between our worlds.”

Since watching myself bleed out really sucked, I tried to focus on more interesting things. “How did a hole to your world form inside the Peabodys’ house anyhow?”

The red-haired dude, who had yet to give me his name, watched as my blood dripped into a chalice. “The rift occurred by chance. Our planes lie very close to each other, constantly rubbing, and if rubbed enough, a crack forms, but not for long. Once detected, there are those who would repair it instead of leaving it open that we might cross.”

“But I thought you couldn’t go over because our world doesn’t agree with you?” I felt faint and slightly nauseous at the amount of blood spilling from me.

“That doesn’t stop us from entering your world as incorporeal beings who must attach ourselves to a human host. So long as my kind feed, they can usually prevent a host from rejecting the spirit.”

“That’s why they’ve been going after the witch blood?”

“Blood imbued with magic sustains the host and makes the rider stronger.”

In other words, we could starve those who seemed possessed and eject the demons from their bodies. I had to tell someone, but how? I was kind of caught for the moment.

“What happens if the host dies while the demon is in it?”

“Then the spirit snaps back into this realm.”

“You mean those demons don’t die?”

A slow smile pulled his lips. “We are not so easy to kill.”

“If you can ride a human,”—which sounded so much better when it involved sex and not possession—“why are you still here?”

A sneer pulled his lip upward. “That mode of transport is for minions. Lords such as I are above such things. And why settle for the body of another when I can drink of your blood and enter your world at full strength?”

“Why do you want into my world so badly?”

He blinked. “Because.”

“Because why? Why not just rule this world?”

“It’s not possible.” His lips flattened.

“How is it not possible? I mean, you’re some kind of lord, right, with servants and shit? Why not form an army and declare yourself king?”

“There is already a supreme ruler.”

My eyes widened as I understood his dilemma. “You’re only a little demon on the scale, aren’t you? No wonder you want to rule mine. Well, you’re in for a surprise, buddy, because humans aren’t that easy to squash.”

“You have been so far.”

“Because we didn’t know you existed. Once you start mucking around too much, though, you’ll see. Humans will converge, and probably the Lycans and vampires—”

“Vampires!” He spat the word. “The ultimate betrayers. We created them to serve us and bring us what we needed from your world. Instead, they deserted us.”

“Is it me, or don’t you get along with people?”

“Why should I?”

“Is this because your mother didn’t hug you as a child?”

“My mother died in an uprising led by my father.”

“So, what you’re saying, is this is a family tradition.”

“This is my destiny!” He thumped his chest and, for a moment, he looked very human—if you ignored the crazy eyes and the fact that he wanted to rule the world.

Then again, as a little girl, I, on my pink Power Wheels, with my army of Barbies, had wanted to do the same thing.

“Maybe you should rethink your destiny, given it hasn’t been working out so well for you.”

“Gag her!”

A slimy hand slapped over my mouth, and I could only hope he meant what he said about keeping me alive.

The dude collecting my blood had finally stopped and placed some kind of bandage over my wound.

“With this essence, I shall rule!” The redheaded underlord—because he certainly wasn’t over anyone out here—held up the chalice and chugged it.

Gross.

He, on the other hand, loved it and smacked his lips. What could I say? I tasted that good.

“I feel myself changing already.”

“Then we’re done.”

“We’ve barely even begun.”

According to him, this was only the start. He wanted to keep draining me of blood, first to cement his ability to walk on Earth and then to feed his army. Not exactly my idea of a great future.

There was only one thing to do.

Faint, which was easier than faking an orgasm with an inept idiot.

I slumped to the floor beside my satchel and heard the underlord curse. “Did you take too much blood, you fucking moron?”

“Humans are always weak, master. She will need time to recover.”

“I don’t want to wait.”

“If you continue to drain her, then she will most likely die.”

“Arrrrggh.” Thump. Bang. Someone had a lovely tantrum.

Given the doctor’s orders, I kind of hoped they’d all wander away and leave me alone, but a barked, “Throw her in a cell,” meant I had to act.

When the big doofus went to grab me, I stopped faking. Out came the pepper spray, and what do you know, their giant red eyes were just as sensitive to it as a guy who couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

The big demon bellowed, and the redheaded wannabe world ruler yelled for someone to grab me. The demon who’d taken my blood replied, “All of our other soldiers are recovering from their excursion to the Earth plane.” I took advantage of the chaos and took off.

I ran for the door, bolted outside it, and headed for the slit, my legs pumping hard. Look at me becoming a kickass marathoner.

I just had to make it to the rift.

Of course, Butthead just had to harass me. The gargoyle dove at me, and I covered my face to protect it, blocking my visibility. I tripped and hit the ground hard on my arm.

Fuck.

I popped back up to my feet. Butthead came swooping in, and I swung my satchel.

Wham, it went wheeling into the ground, and I started running again.

Up ahead, I could see the rocky mound and the dark crack in it.

I can make it. I know I can.

“Halt.” The magical command fisted me tightly, and I shrieked.

It was quite girly and unlike me, but it had an interesting effect. The invisible hand holding me vanished.

Whirling on one heel, I faced the underlord. He looked a touch pissed.

His eyes glowed brightly, but he didn’t have smoke coming from his nose or ears.

I wasn’t done yet. I yanked off my cross and held it in front of me like a talisman.

“Stay back, foul creature,” I shouted.

His lip pulled up at one corner. “Do you really think that will stop me?”

Nope. But his eyes couldn’t help but follow the shiny object, which meant he wasn’t watching my knee.

Smoosh. Demon balls were as susceptible as human ones.

As he hunched over, gasping, I turned and dove for the slit in the rock.

The house spat me out, right at some feet. I recognized the shoes.

I looked up and grinned. “Hey, Scooby. Nice of you to bring the gang.”

Was it too much to ask that they kiss me instead of shaking me to say hello?