I was already four beers deep when Killian pushed through the doors to the bar. The smell of stale beer and decades-old cigarettes permeated everything in the place. It had been a long time since we'd been to this particular bar. College days long behind us, we hadn't had to go to a place with five-dollar pitchers in a long time.

Killian ordered himself a beer and slid another one across the table to me.

"How are you doing?"

"How does it look like I'm doing?" I asked, upending the beer and chugging it down.

"Not too good." He sipped from his beer.

"She stood me up. Again."

"I know."

"How do you know?" I asked, freezing with my beer halfway to my mouth.

"I talked to her on the way over here."

"You did? What did she say?" I hated how much I wanted to know the answer. Shouldn't there be a switch inside your head where you could turn feelings off with one flick. Especially, feelings for people who had none for you.

"She said, she's really sorry she missed your date, and it wasn't that she didn't want to go,” Killian said, his eyes trained on me, watching for my reaction.

"Then what the hell was it? I can't figure her out. One minute she's hot and we're having a great time, and then the next she's colder than the tundra and I can't figure out what she wants," I said, squeezing the back of my neck.

"It seems Frankie has cast a spell over you. I hadn't realized things had progressed this far with you two. Hell, I hadn't even realized you two were seeing each other after the wedding,” Killian said, leaning back in his chair.

"We've been keeping things casual. Low-key. You know how she is."

"I know how she is,” he said, taking a gulp of his beer. "I'm shocked you managed to get her out of the house at all."

"We had one date. I took her to the aquarium. We've only had one not-date after that, and that was eating Romano's and watching TV," I said, rolling the bottle between my hands.

A hard jab of pain shot through my arm. I shot a glare at Killian.

"What the hell, dude?"

"You got Romano's and didn't bring me any?"

"I'm lucky I didn't pull back a nub when I showed up at her door with it. I wasn't walking out of there with all my fingers and a slice of that pizza."

"I can't say I blame her. I'd have probably done the same." Killian said, leaning back in his chair.

"It was a good night."

I thought back to her scars.

"Did she ever tell you about the scars?"

Killian shook his head. "Nope."

"And you never asked?"

"Nope."

I must be doing something wrong. Or maybe I'm the wrong guy. I hadn't wanted to admit that for a long time. It shouldn't be this hard, right? There shouldn't be so many unanswered questions. But we'd been like two ships passing in the night for over a decade. Why would one night together, one date and a not-date change anything?

"When we're together it's great. We have fun. We laugh. None of the bullshit from our past matters. She's sexy. When we're together it's like we're meant for each other. Then the minute the door closes, she's all about excuses and avoidance. "

Killian stared at me from across the table.

"What?" Sure I'm a little wasted, well a lot wasted. He doesn't know about the whiskey I had before he arrived.

"I don't hear you talk about women like this. You going soft on me? I thought I'd be living vicariously through you now that I'm a married man," he teased.

"This is Frankie, man. She's not women."

"Oh, I know. I know that, but it's not like you two don't have a past."

"A past where we had an amazing dance and then everything fell apart. It's like I'm living that every time I'm with her. I hate it. When I'm away from her it's this gnawing, aching feeling that makes me pick up my phone and text her or call her just to hear her voice. I don't like not knowing what's going on with her."

Killian laughed. "You sound like me when I was losing my mind over Rachel."

And then it hit me like a Mack truck. I was in love with Frankie. The thought flitted around just out of reach in my mind before, like it was hiding itself from me. Like I knew the minute it finally hit me, I was screwed. I was in love with a woman who hated me.

"She doesn't hate you," Killian said, and that's when I realized I'd said it out loud.

"She keeps blowing me off."

I ran my hands down my face.

"I don't know about the other times, but I'm telling you with one hundred percent certainty that she does not hate you. You need to be patient with her. She's used to her club where she gets to keep everything at arm’s length and her computer where she never needs to talk to anyone in person. She's got a lot going on in her life and stuff from her past that makes it hard for her to communicate. And I'm saying this as the most closed-off asshole out here."

"What are you talking about?" Killian opened his mouth like he wanted to say something before snapping it shut and finishing his beer.

"You need to talk to her. Soon."