I know this is exactly how I got myself into this mess to begin with, but it feels so amazing, I just can't stop myself. I know I shouldn't have even opened the door to this to begin with. Not tonight. Not with what I needed to tell him. But, on another level, I felt like this is exactly what I needed tonight – to be loved by Miles.

Just the way he looked at me when I stood naked before him for the first time was unexpected – like I was a living goddess. He looked at me with the rawest, purest desire I've ever seen. I've never felt so wanted and so desired by anybody, at any time in my life.

He looked at me like a man who genuinely loves and respects me.

Until that moment, I wasn't sure what his feelings for me were. But as I watched him drink me in, I knew it was through a lens of love and adoration. He may not know he loves me yet – he probably doesn't. He may be struggling with the emotional pull we feel for each other every bit as much as I was – as much as I am. But, seeing him look at me the way he did told me that Miles loves me. This isn't just a fuck for him. This is something more – something meaningful.

Knowing that he loves me though, doesn't change the fact that I'm scared. It doesn't take away my fear that once he finds out I'm pregnant, this will all go away. That he won't want anything to do with me. I don't believe that will come to pass, but you just never know. The news I'm carrying is life altering. It will turn both of our lives upside down. Nothing is ever going to be the same after I tell him.

Which is why I need tonight. Just one more night filled with nothing but us and our feelings for each other.

Tonight is about us. I need it more than anything else right now. And whether Miles realizes it or not, he needs it too.

When he looks up at me, the fire in his eyes has only grown brighter. I sit up and pull him close to me. I kiss him deeply, tasting myself on his tongue. He runs his hands all over my body, cupping my breasts and giving my nipples a hard pinch, eliciting a squeal from me.

I love how his hands feel on my body. He sets my skin on fire with just his touch. Ordinarily, I'm the submissive one in the bedroom. It turns me on that Miles is more the aggressive type and takes what he wants from me. I love giving him what he wants.

Tonight, with everything else in my world spinning out of control, I felt like I needed to be the one calling the shots – to have some small sliver of control as everything else around me goes off the tracks. I need him to give me what I want. And so far, he is.

“Stand up,” I say.

Miles gets to his feet and stands before me. His body is every bit as beautiful as I thought it would be. He's all hard angles and planes, his arms and legs roped with lean muscle.

I drag the tips of my nails down his chest, feeling him shudder beneath me. Leaning forward, I kiss his flat, toned stomach, running the tip of my tongue upward until I'm licking and sucking on his nipple. Miles grunts softly as I bite it the same way he does to me. He grabs my hair and starts to force my head down, so I quickly slap his hand away. I look up at him and smile darkly.

“I'm in charge tonight,” I say.

“Of course, you are.”

A small smile tugs the corners of my mouth upward as Miles moves to his nightstand and pulls a condom out of the top drawer. I watch him tear open the package, then drop it to the floor. He quickly unrolls the condom, slipping it all the way down that glorious dick of his – not that wearing a condom is going to keep us from getting pregnant or anything at this point. Realistically, should I even make him wear it? The idea of feeling his thick, bare cock inside of me nearly brings me to another orgasm.

He looks at me, that slow smile on his face. Miles arches his eyebrows as if he's looking for direction, since I'm the shot caller tonight.

“Get on the bed,” I say. “On your back.”

Miles does as I say, lying flat on his back, that salacious smile still on his face. I climb onto the bed and sit astride him. He reaches up to fondle my breasts, his very touch making me shudder. Gripping his cock, I push the head of it between my lips, a sensation like electricity searing my every nerve ending. Slowly, I take him into me, throwing my head back and gasping as I take him inside of me, inch by inch.

Having him fully sheathed within me, filling me up and stretching me open, nearly makes me come on the spot. I plant my hands against his hard, toned chest for leverage, and start to move my hips up and down. Miles grabs hold of my waist to help me balance as I start to rise and fall on his cock. Moving on him like this, feeling him penetrate me and slide into my deepest regions is sheer bliss.

I shudder and moan, reveling in all of the sensations coursing through me. I ride him slowly at first, savoring the way he makes me feel – the way he feels inside of me. It's not long though, before the heat and desire within me combine, urging me onward.

I push down on his chest, digging my nails into his skin as I speed myself up. He draws in a sharp breath as I rake my nails down his skin, but the smile on his face never falters. I bounce my hips up and down, impaling myself upon his cock. I take him into my furthest reaches, crying out every time he hits that spot, setting off an explosion of pleasure.

“Mm,” I moan. “Fuck yes.”

I press down harder on his chest, giving myself more leverage and traction as I start to fuck him even harder. Miles' jaw clenches and I see the ecstasy he feels written on his face. The pressure inside of me is building quickly, rising like a gathering wave. And as I plunge down on him hard, one last time, that wave breaks, sending powerful sensations crashing down over me.

I shudder, losing my rhythm, and call out his name over and over again as my second orgasm of the night rocks my entire body. It's the most intense, powerful orgasm I've ever had, and it sends me reeling. As it slowly fades, my body starts to go limp. I slide off of him, lying flat on my back beside him as I attempt to catch my breath.

The warm, gentle waves of ecstasy wash over me, and I I turn my head and find Miles staring at me. I lean forward and kiss him softly on the lips. The way he looks at me churns my insides, making me feel even warmer.

“You are fucking amazing,” he says.

“We're not done yet,” I purr. “It's your turn. Tell me how you want me.”

The smile on his face grows even larger as he rolls me onto my side. He sidles up behind me, his cock pressed hard against my ass. Miles lifts me leg up and rests it on his thigh, kissing my neck as he slides inside of me. I'm so wet, he slips in with ease, drawing a long shudder from me.

Cupping my breast with one hand, Miles starts to thrust his hips, impaling me with a cock that feels impossibly hard. I turn my head to kiss him, our tongues dancing together as tendrils of fire blaze along my skin.

I press my ass against him, encouraging him to fuck me as I feel the pressure building up inside of me once more. He squeezes my breast harder, giving my nipple a sharp twist as his movements become increasingly more frantic. His entire body is tense, and his breath comes out in short bursts. I know he's close, but I can tell he's trying to hold back and prolong the pleasure.

“Come for me, Miles,” I say softly.

He thrusts himself hard into me and a loud growl erupts from his throat as he drives himself into me one last time, holding himself there, fully sheathed within me. He calls my name as his cock begins to throb, filling the condom.

We lay together like that for a long time, each of us caught up in the web of ecstasy. I can feel the emotions between us blooming and the connection that we share deepening. For the first time, I start to believe that the two of us could actually share a beautiful life together. My heart swells at the thought of he and I raising a child and living our best life with each other – a life filled with hope, satisfaction, and most of all, a life filled with love. Pure and unadulterated love.

But then, as the afterglow of our lovemaking begins to fade, the reality of our situation sets in.

I need to tell him, even if the thought fills me with a sense of dread so dark and deep, it’s almost suffocating. He needs to know he has a child on the way. Miles deserves to know. When I think about the possibility that he could reject me outright – and our baby – the depth of the bleakness and despair threatens to drown me.

“Penny for your thoughts,” he offers with a kind, generous smile on his handsome face.

I push all of those feeling aside. Tonight isn't for that. Tonight is for me. For us. I'll tell him, but all I really want to do is enjoy tonight.

I turn and give him my most seductive smile. “I was just wondering when you'll be ready for round two.”

He laughs as he leans forward and kisses me gently. In that moment, I want to believe that everything is going to be okay.

But, if my personal history is any guide, I just don't know that it will.