I’m a slut. It didn’t matter if Freddie said otherwise, didn’t matter if Nathan Callis himself – the one I’m doing slutty things with – hated it when I used the term for myself. I was one, but the difference is that I hadn’t a problem with it anymore.

For some weeks now, Nathan and I had been seeing each other almost every day. Most times, he’d drop by at whichever place I was reviewing – a café, theater, boutique. The place didn’t really matter. As long as it or somewhere nearby had a locked door, Nathan would have his way with me. In each and every instance I would try to fight him, of course – and I’d do so as hard as I could, but there was never a time I could win. There wasn’t ever a time I’d want to win to be honest.

Sometimes Nathan would make me come by going down on me, other times he’d make me come with his fingers. On one occasion, he had called – no, demanded actually – for me to visit him at a fashion shoot. When I arrived, I asked him baldly what he was doing since he was supposed to have retired already. Instead of answering, he had simply yanked me into a wardrobe room, locked the door, and pushed me down on my knees.

Then he had said in a guttural voice, No talking. Just suck me.

And I did.

Even though it had been my first time to give a guy a blowjob, I wasn’t so naïve I didn’t know how it worked. I’d watched my share of porn, and the sight of Nathan’s long and hard cock had aroused more than terrified me. I had the most impossible time fitting all thirteen inches of him – it had me choking several times, but Nathan had been relentless. His fingers gripping my head tightly, he had issued instructions in a tight, hoarse voice, not giving me a chance to do anything but follow his command.

Sucking on his cock had been both a sensual pleasure and beautiful torture, and my reward had been the sounds of raw enjoyment he had made in the back of his throat. It got me so turned on that the moment I came home, I locked myself in the shower and rubbed my pussy in a frenzy until I came.

“You’re thinking of him, aren’t you?”

Freddie’s amused voice snapped me back to reality, and I scowled at the knowing look my cousin gave me. “Don’t be ludicrous.” It was a sunny morning in California, and we were relaxing on a pair of luxurious lounge chairs that faced the rather majestic-looking pool of the Grachyovs’ sprawling mansion.

In a rather surprising twist of events, Freddie had found herself pregnant with Sergei Grachyov’s child after a one-night stand. And as always, the Russian magnate had managed to get his way, persuading my cousin to move back to California and live with him.

Catching sight of the sly look in Freddie’s eyes, I let out an exaggerated sigh. “What?”

“It’s so obvious. You miss him. So why don’t you just admit it---”

“Because it’s not true.” I rolled my eyes. “I get it that you’re living the dream and it’s making you all goofy, wanting everyone to be in love---”

Freddie started to laugh. “You’re being too defensive. You do realize that, don’t you?”

“I’m not being defensive.” I didn’t miss Nathan Callis, and it was the truth. “We’re just a couple for show.” And mimicking her tone, I asked, “You do remember that, don’t you?”

It was Freddie’s turn to roll her eyes. “You can go all bitchy on me, but I’m your cousin and I know you. You miss him.”

I threw my hands up in exasperation. “I can’t miss what I don’t even know, Freddie! It’s not like anything’s changed between Nathan and me. I still don’t know a thing about him and---”

“You don’t need to know everything about a person to realize that he matters.” Freddie’s tone was stubborn.

I snorted. “That’s just your pregnancy talking.” The Freddie I knew was the pragmatic sort – like me. “For a person to matter, you need to know enough, and I hate to disappoint you, but I just don’t know enough about Nathan. I mean, I know how long his cock is---”

Freddie choked out a laugh. “Alyx!”

I gave her a wide-eyed a look, asking, “Do you think that’s enough?”

“Okay, fine. I can take a hint. I’ll drop the subject as long as---” Freddie paused then said slowly, “Can you just please tell me you’re okay?”

A scowl marred my forehead. “Not you too, Freddie. Everyone’s been asking me that---”

“Everyone asks it because they think you’re crazy to have left your old job. Everyone doesn’t know you did it because you no longer felt you had the right to be a journalist, working on exposing the truth while you’re harboring a secret.” Freddie took a deep breath. “But I’m different, Alyx. I know. So – are you okay?”

“A loaded question if I ever heard one,” I quipped.

“Stop changing the subject,” Freddie censured. “Are you okay or not?”

“I plead the Fifth.”

“Alyx!”

I stared at her stonily.

“Well, at least tell me this. Has Nathan at least helped you forget him?”

Sergei’s arrival saved me from replying, the Russian magnate bearing down on us with a smile, a hard look in his blue eyes belying it. He greeted me pleasantly enough but afterwards didn’t even give Freddie a chance to say a word. He simply scooped my cousin up in his arms and carried her back to the house, saying in a mild but strongly accented voice that women in her condition weren’t supposed to spend too much time under the sun.

Oops.

“Sorry, Sergei,” I called out to him with a grimace. “I forgot about that, too.”

“It’s not your fault, Alyx,” the billionaire answered right away.

“Which means it’s my fault?” Freddie’s tone was belligerent.

“Not at all, Erie,” Sergei answered easily, “so stop glaring at me. It’s no one’s fault – for now. But if you do it again after this---” He whispered something into my cousin’s ear that had my cousin flushing.

I cleared my throat loudly. “On that note, I’m just going to make myself scarce and…”

Neither of them seemed to hear me, with Sergei too busy kissing Freddie.

Riiiiight.

I didn’t bother finishing my sentence and just took the path leading to the driveway instead of following the couple back into the mansion. With Freddie having lent me her car during my stay, I decided to drive to town so I could check out the newly opened specialty craft store I had heard about.

During the ride, my mind drifted back to Freddie’s question---

And I thought, almost in surprise, Yes.

The Greek billionaire did help me forget him.

Whenever I was in Nathan’s arms, I thought of nothing but pleasure. Actually, I didn’t think at all. My feelings simply took control while my brain ceased to function---

And that was more than enough.

Or at least I thought so until…now.

After parking Freddie’s car, I was on my way to the local craft store when I noticed a familiar figure inside. I jerked to a stop, unable to believe what I was seeing.

Impossible, my mind cried out to me. This had to be a dream – a nightmare.

I even went as far as rubbing my eyes, hating myself for being so childish but unable to help it.

Please let me just be imagining this---

But when I opened my eyes again, reality was even worse.

I saw Daria.

My best friend.

My beautiful, kind best friend---

And coming up to her from behind was him.

Tall, dark, and handsome.

Strong and powerful.

A man every girl would want---

A man no one else could have, and especially not me because Daria would always own his heart.

I walked away, as fast as I could, and when it wasn’t enough, I ran.

But it still wasn’t enough.

Forgetting wasn’t enough.

I thought it was, but now I knew it wasn’t.

Forgetting him didn’t mean I had stopped loving him. It didn’t mean that I would stop hurting---

Oh God, it hurt. It hurt to love him, hurt to know that he loved someone else, hurt so damn bad knowing that he would never love me.

When my trembling legs could no longer carry me, I half-stumbled onto one of the empty tables outside a French patisserie. My heart was beating so hard against my chest it was almost as if I had just escaped from death’s noose, and I struggled to catch my breath.

Why did it still hurt?

Why?

Why?

Before I knew what I was doing, I already had my phone out, my thumb practically punching the Call button.

Nathan Callis answered a moment later. “Sweetheart.” His Greek-accented tone was beautiful and hateful, the sound reminiscent of both heaven and hell. “I admit to being pleasantly surprised---”

I didn’t let him finish, crying out shakily, “Come here.” My voice was too high-pitched, trembling too hard. It just didn’t sound like me, and I hated it.

“Alyx?” Nathan’s voice was grim. “What the hell happened---”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” This time the words came out a shriek, and I hated myself even more. I was screaming at him in public when he hadn’t done a thing to deserve it.

But even so---

An excruciatingly vivid image took hold of my mind, forcing me to remember and relive the agony.

Tall, beautiful, voluptuous gray-eyed Daria, laughing merrily at what he said as he came up to her from behind, his strong arms going around her waist---

Pain tried to swallow me whole, and I forced back down another sob as I choked out, “Come here.” I wanted to say more, but I just couldn’t.

How silly I was, thinking that making out, playing dirty games, and countless orgasms were enough---

How goddamn silly---

“Alyx, what the hell’s wrong?”

A violent shudder seized my body, and I managed to say, “I don’t care what you’re doing, just come here.”

Come here.

Come here and make me forget.

Come here and save me.