Chapter Twenty-Five
Payton
“What?” I ask. Well, choke out is more like it.
“That’s bullshit.” He turns me in his lap so that I’m practically facing him. “There is so much more to you than your ability to have a baby, Payton. You are the most loving, fiercely loyal, gorgeous woman I’ve ever known. You’ve proven how smart you are by successfully running your own business. You’ve shown me more patience and love when you interact with my daughter than anyone else who is around her. The fact that you may not be able to have a baby has nothing to do with you as a woman. You’re still an incredible person.”
I try to swallow, but it gets caught in the golf ball lodged in my throat.
“Do you hear me?” he asks. Something warm and comforting wraps around me as he slides his hands up the sides of my face and into my hair. His grip tightens, not enough to hurt, but enough to let me know that he’s here, beside me, with me. If I weren’t able to feel it in his touch, I can see it plain as day in his eyes.
“I hear you,” I whisper, sniffling and probably looking all gross and shit.
“If you were, someday, able to give me a baby, it would make me the happiest man alive. But do you know what? That doesn’t define you. That doesn’t define us. The truth is, I love you, with or without a baby in our future.”
There’s no controlling the stream of emotions falling down my face. Closing my eyes, I hold tightly to his words, reliving them each time he repeats them. And he does. He tells me over and over that he loves me as he pulls me against his lips and claims mine with his own.
My heart breaks wide open, a new euphoria that I’ve never known filling my entire being. His lips are soft but urgent, his tongue coaxing my mouth open. The kiss is so much more than a kiss. It’s a declaration.
Gripping the front of his shirt again, I let myself get swept away by the moment. He tilts my head slightly, lining himself up perfectly to deepen the kiss. I finally feel myself letting go of everything: the past, the questions of the future, everything. It’s just him and me, together.
Well, us and an adorable little girl who will forever hold my heart.
Eventually, when we’re both breathless and delirious, he slowly pulls back, licking and nipping at my swollen lips. “Let’s take a moment to recap, shall we?” Kiss. “You might not be able to have a baby.” Kiss. “You were going to break-up with me tonight so that you could spare me the agony of saddling myself to a baby-less life with you.” Kiss. “I’m in love with you, so all of that doesn’t fucking matter.” Kiss. “Because.” Kiss. “I.” Kiss. “Love.” Kiss. “You.”
Best. Kiss. Ever.
“I’m not letting you end this, Payton. I don’t know where this is going to end up, but I know where I hope it’ll go. I knew the first time you walked into my conference room that you were different. So I plan to spend the rest of my life proving to you that you can be happy and that I can be happy, even without a baby. Because, as long as I have you, I’m happy.”
“You love me?” I ask, pleading with him to confirm once more what I already know.
“I do. I fell in love with you when we were in Richmond, sharing a hotel room.”
Closing my eyes, I savor the words. Sure, my sisters say it, my dad says it, and my grandparents say it. But hearing Dean tell me he loves me? Trumps everything. Cole used to tell me all the time, but over the years, it became more out of routine and with less feeling. Now that I look back, it got to the point where neither of us really said it at all in the end.
“Do you know what?” I ask, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“What?” he whispers, his breath fanning across my chin.
“That actually works out really well for me because I love you too.”
His eyes light up with excitement as he offers me the biggest grin ever. “Yeah?”
“Oh yeah. I’m pretty sure I started to fall for you in Richmond too,” I confirm.
“Those were two amazing nights.” He pulls me in and nuzzles my nose.
“I loved waking up beside you in the morning.”
“I loved falling asleep with you in my arms.”
“No interruptions.”
“No time restraints.”
“Just you and me and a whole lot of nakedness.”
“Those were my kinda nights.”
“What about tonight?” I ask, hopeful and eager.
“You notice your lack of a car, right? Well, I’m not taking you home. The only place you’re going is to my bed. Preferably without any clothes covering up this sinful body.”
With his hands sliding up my side and resting on my breasts, his lips find mine once more. This kiss has a little more passion, a little more intensity. As if I weigh nothing, Dean picks me up and moves me towards the hallway. Without breaking the kiss, he leads me into his bedroom and only stops when I feel his bed hit behind my knees.
“Just so you know, I expect you to be in my bed as much as humanly possible. I know you have your own place, but I like it better when you’re beside me.”
“I like that too.” Gazing up at him, I grip his shirt and lift it over his head. He doesn’t move as I run my hands up his chest, feeling the way the light dusting of hair tickles my palms. “Dean?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“I’m sorry about how I’ve acted lately. I was going to tell you everything tonight about the PCOS. I actually told Abby the other night, and it helped. She was very understanding and listened, asking questions when she felt the need. But she’s also the one who told me to tell you the truth and let you decide for yourself if a future with me was possible or not.”
“Smart woman. I should send her flowers. I know this great little shop.”
“She is, yes, but I would probably avoid sending another woman flowers. Especially ones you purchase from your current woman’s shop.” I give him a slight grin before sobering a little. “I was planning on breaking it off with you. I knew I was falling in love with you and knew it would be too hard to deal with you leaving when you found out about the PCOS.”
“You thought that I’d walk away when I found out about it, so it would be easier for you to do that now on your own terms.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Even after only knowing each other for a short time, less than a year on the calendar, and he already has me pegged.
“Yeah. I’m sorry.”
Reaching down, he grabs a hold of the hem of my shirt and gives it a lift. Without saying a word, he reaches around and unsnaps my bra clasp. With my breasts free, he palms them both and eagerly sucks one nipple into his warm mouth. I gasp at the instant flood of sensations racing through my body. My core is immediately wet and throbbing with desire.
“Silly, silly, Payton. Haven’t you figured it out yet? There’s no getting rid of me now. You were made for me,” he says before latching on to the other nipple and giving it equal attention.
“Please,” I beg, reaching for his belt buckle.
“I love it when you beg,” he quips, a wicked gleam in his dark eyes.
“I can tell,” I reply, palming his large erection. His hips flex into my hand as he grinds against me.
“Keep that up and we won’t be able to get to the good stuff.”
“I like the good stuff,” I murmur, stroking him through the denim.
“And I love you.” His whispered words are a statement, the punctuation, and everything in between.
Together, we strip off the rest of our clothes, taking our time and savoring the feel of each other’s bodies. When we’re finally skin-on-skin, Dean leads me back to the bed. His eyes are intense and dark with desire as he covers my body with his own. We’re both flushed to the core, his lips soft and gentle as he glides them over my neck.
“Do you trust me?” he whispers against the place my pulse is pounding.
“Yes.”
Pulling away just slightly so he can look down at me, he says, “No more condoms. You know we’re both clean. I want to feel your body wrapped around me, feel your pussy gripping my bare cock again.”
A shiver races through my body. “No more condoms,” I confirm.
His lips have a little more urgency in them, as he lifts my left leg and hitches it high on his hip. He explores my mouth with his tongue as I feel him slowly pushing forward and sliding into my pussy. Gasping, I open my eyes and find his locked on me. It’s always amazing with Dean, but this time there’s something else there.
Love.
When he’s buried to the root, he groans. “God, you feel so fucking good.” He holds perfectly still as if savoring the feel of our bodies joined together.
“Mmmmm,” I purr, blood zinging through my body.
And then he moves. Pinning my hands over my head, he uses them for leverage as he thrusts into me. He’s completely relentless, raw with desire, as he pushes us both higher and higher. Together, we’re climbing towards a blockbuster orgasm, one that will change us forever. Because there will no longer be a Dean and a Payton. We will be one. One heart beating together, one soul sharing a future.
I know it.
I can feel it.
When I’m unable to hold off the pending orgasm any longer, I give in to the rush of sensations. The way his chest hairs tickle my nipples. The way he holds me down as if staking an ownership in my pleasure. The way his pelvic bone grinds against my clit, creating the most epic flood of desire.
My orgasm washes over me, sending me flying and soaring above the clouds. Dean is right there with me. He tenses above me, thrusting with more force than ever before, as my internal muscles grip him with everything they have. A loud groan slips from his lips, and it’s immediately followed up with my name.
As he starts to still above me, his lips find mine once more. Our labored breath is mixed as we pant and kiss, shutters and aftershocks racing jointly through our bodies. He keeps touching me, as if he can’t get enough. Eventually, he starts to peter out, no pun intended, and lies on top of me. The heaviness of his weight doesn’t feel restricting, as I would have usually thought, but instead feels comforting and grounding.
“Wow,” he says, nuzzling his nose against my ear.
“Yeah,” I pant, loving the feel of his body against mine. “Let’s do it again.”
Dean laughs in my ear, making me smile widely. “I’m not the spring chicken I used to be, sweetheart. Give me a few more minutes to collect my thoughts and I’ll be ready to go again.”
He carefully rolls off me, leaving a trail of warmth and wetness behind. That’s definitely something you don’t think about when you’re used to using condoms. Without a word, he jumps up and goes to the bathroom. I take a moment to ogle his muscular backside as he walks into the room and flips on the light. He doesn’t cover up or hide, just grabs a washcloth and wets it with warm water. After taking care of himself, he rinses it well and comes back into the bedroom. Again, he doesn’t say a word as he washes off my thighs and between my legs.
“Why are you smiling?” he asks as he tosses the cloth into his hamper and climbs back into bed.
“I’ve never had someone do that before.”
“What? Take care of you?” He turns on his side and scoots against my back, spooning me against his body.
“Well, yeah.”
“Get used to it, sweetheart. I know you don’t want someone to step in and take control, and I have absolutely no intention of doing that. I just want to help share the burden. My job is to help shoulder some of the weight when things get too heavy for you to carry, okay?”
“Okay.” What else can I say?
He gets me.
I find myself dozing off to sleep, feeling better and lighter than I ever have in my life. Even though our family is dealing with a great loss, I find myself happy. Dean has done that. He has offered me something I never thought I’d have.
Hope.
“I love you,” he whispers, his voice gravelly with sleep.
“I love you,” I reply as he places a kiss on my shoulder.
Together, we fall asleep.