Matt walks away and it feels very much like rejection. I’ve never been one to run after a man, but I can finally understand the urge to do so and that thought angers me enough to leave. I’m already late for the party. Jared and Rae have been texting me photos of their fun all night. I thought I’d made the right choice by splitting my evening and coming here first, but now I’m not so sure. Between witnessing the altercation with his father and now this brush off, I’m not positive Matt’s the man I thought he was.
“Mia! Wait up!” Matt’s brother Danny calls out and waves. Nikki’s attached to his side, much as she’s been all night. I have to admit as much as I don’t want to like her merely because of her connection to Violet, she’s been friendly all evening. I wouldn’t go so far as to invite her to hang out, but she’s not the vile person I first assumed.
“Hey,” I say as Danny and Nikki reach me in the crowd. There are still quite a few people loitering around.
“You sticking around to wait for Matt?” Danny asks.
“No, actually I need to catch a bus uptown. My friends throw this killer Halloween party each year and I’m already late.”
He nods. “You want a ride? We were about to take off.”
“Oh, I don’t want to put you out.”
Nikki hooks her arm in mine. “Seriously, Mia? Come with us. Danny’s ride is a thousand times better than a city bus!” She doesn’t even wait for my answer and tugs me outside along with them.
“So, what did you think of the fights?” Danny asks. “First time?”
“Yeah, first fights I’ve watched live. Well, organized and for sport. I’ve seen my fair of bar fights.”
“I’m not gonna lie. There’s something super hot about two guys going at it on the ground.” Nikki giggles and Danny rolls his eyes. “What? Tell me I’m not alone in this, Mia? It’s fucking hot, right?”
“Two dudes. Totally hot.” I agree to that part.
Danny laughs. “Doesn’t work on the flip, though. Two chick fighters? They scare the shit out of me. Those two tonight. Did you see the rage? I think my balls jumped back to hide in their pre-pubescent position. Nothing sexy about that.”
Nikki giggles and murmurs something in Danny’s ear that causes him to clear his throat. I don’t want to know what she said, though my guess is something dirty. These two take touchy-feely to the extreme, and don’t even get me started on the baby pet name. It’s great they’re so in love, but not everyone needs to be subjected to it. We approach a sleek black SUV and Danny produces a key fob that unlocks the doors.
“See. Better than a bus.” Nikki grins and so does Danny. He’s a total gentleman and opens the passenger door for her first, then the back one for me before getting behind the wheel. The SUV is complete with GPS so I give Nikki the address as we roll out into the busy Saturday evening traffic.
“Man, it was so good seeing Matt in his element tonight,” Danny says with admiration.
“How was he as a fighter?” I ask because I’m genuinely curious. Matt doesn’t talk about it, and all I know are from the photos he hangs in his gym.
“Incredibly focused. Owned the room from the minute he set foot inside. A lot like his last kid tonight, Xavier Johnson.”
“Yeah, Matt said he thinks he’ll go pro,” I add.
“I’m sure he will after tonight. But that fight was nothing. Damn, I wish you could’ve seen him back in the day. It was his passion and his whole life.”
“Sounds like it,” I mumble, because as much as Danny’s going on, I feel even more removed from who Matt is. He had this entire career before we met and even though I know about it, I’ve never pushed for details. I want to ask why he quit. Or if he did? Because that argument he was having with his father got really heated. I only caught a few words but I have a feeling there’s a lot more about Matt Haywood he hasn’t shared.
Glancing out the window, I ponder something to say that won’t come off as prying. “Matt said you guys grew up in South Shore. That’s not far from here, is it?”
Danny laughs and shakes his head. I don’t understand what’s so funny until he glances at me through the rear view mirror. “I’m not sure whether you noticed, but Matt and I have different mothers.”
“That part I got.” I roll my eyes.
He quirks his brow and then continues. “I didn’t grow up in South Shore. I grew up in the ’burbs with my mom and grandparents. I had the good childhood.” It’s the way he says that last part that begs for questions. If Danny had the good childhood, what did Matt get? The possibilities hurt my heart.
“Oh, okay.” I’m still confused and trying to piece it together when Nikki twists in her seat so she can meet my gaze.
“Basically, their father was a manwhore back in the day. He never married, slept his way through half the city, and knocked up both of their mothers. Danny and Matt are the only two Haywoods—we think.”
“Nikki!” Danny shakes his head and flicks his gaze back to mine in the mirror. “I’m not sure Matt would appreciate us blabbing our family crap.”
“God! Your brother’s such a downer.” Nikki groans and shoots me a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, Mia. I know you two are together.”
I don’t bother correcting her. I’m more concerned about the fact Matt hasn’t. Does he just let his brother assume we’re a couple? Nikki fills the rest of the ride with her mindless chatter until my temple begins to throb. It’s not her fault, though. It’s all these half-truths, and if I’m being honest, it’s the fact I saw something in Matt tonight that reminded me a whole hell of a lot of my ex-boyfriend from college.
I breathe a sigh of relief when Danny’s SUV finally pulls up at the curb of Jared and Rae’s apartment. “Thank you so much for the ride.”
“It was no problem. We’ll see you around?” Danny’s eyes hold an anxiousness I don’t understand but it makes me agree with a nod just to earn his smile. “’Night, Mia!”
“Have fun at your party!” Nikki calls before I shut the door.
That is my exact mission as I walk into the foyer and ride the elevator up to the rooftop. I step out of the car and push open the steel door that leads outside when my phone buzzes in my hand. I look down to find a text message from Matt.
Matt: Sorry, I’m not gonna make it.
Glancing over to the time icon, I find it’s only a few minutes past eleven. Sure, it’s late, but this is Matt we’re talking about. I’ve witnessed that man work into the early morning hours almost every single night, then get up at dawn to do it all again. I know he’s not too tired. If he’s ditching the party, it’s because he doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be with me.
An actual growl leaves my lips as I shove my phone into my coat pocket.
“She comes with sound effects, too. Special!” Jared’s waiting for me when I raise my chin. On further inspection of my face he claps his hands wildly. It’s alarming, especially with how he’s completely bleached his hair and eyebrows white.
“Salt?” I tilt my chin and take in the white high top sneakers, white jeans, and white mesh tank top.
“Don’t you love?” He spins in a circle.
“Marvelous. When do I get to meet Dr. Pepper?”
“He’s in law, not medicine, and he’s dying to meet you, too. Come on, Kitten.” Jared hooks his arm in mine and practically skips. He drags us across the party to an attractive—and older—man. That is, unless he had his hair treated to appear to be a forty-something.
“Logan, this is my Kitten. Mia, meet Logan.”
“So nice to meet you.” Logan hands Jared his glass and wraps me in a tight embrace.
“You, too,” I say, stepping out of his arms. My lips pull up with a smirk as Logan takes his glass back and slides his other arm around Jared’s waist. Where Jared went all white, Logan’s varied it up with a pair of black and white wing-tip tuxedo shoes, black dress slacks, and a black suit vest sans shirt. His white bow tie and cloth pocket napkin complete his outfit. Regardless of the fact he must be at least five to ten years older than Jared, they fit perfectly together.
Jared waves Rae over, and once she sees me, she screams. It doesn’t stand out over the music, but her enthusiasm makes me laugh anyway. She grabs two beers from the cooler on her way and after doting over my costume, and I over hers, the four of us gather to chat and drink.
“So, Logan . . . Jared tells us you are quite the defender of the innocent.” I can’t help but tease and Rae covers her mouth to hide her giggle.
Jared glares but Logan takes my question in stride. “If you consider legal research and drafting documents for my firm to sign as their own . . . I guess I do.”
“Don’t let him fool you. Logan’s firm does amazing work for our community. Several of the partners and staff take on domestic violence cases pro bono. Logan’s a part of that team.”
“Handsome with a good heart. Where do I find the straight version?” Rae blinks and glances around the party.
“Not here.” Jared laughs and she slaps him across the chest. “Hey, when is Matt getting here?” he asks but before I can answer, Rae interrupts.
“Yeah! We can’t wait to see his costume!” Rae nods and then looks at Logan. “Matt’s got a manbun, and he’s a retired fighter. If he shows up dressed with a giant hammer in his hands, you’ll have to hold me up. Because I’ll totally faint over that.”
“Thor obsession,” is all Jared has to say and Logan sighs with understanding. All eyes are back on me, waiting expectantly for an answer.
“He’s not coming, actually.” I force the words through my lips.
“Why? Did something happen at the fights?” Mia’s eyes widen with concern.
“No. Yes. It’s complicated.” I shake my head and now all three of them are looking at me as if my cat died. Well, as if a cat I loved died. Rick’s still an asshole. Their concern only makes me uncomfortable and I reach for the closest half-truth that will get them off my case. I don’t want to be the downer of this party. “One of his fighters went to the hospital.”
“Oh, my God! Is he okay?” Rae gasps.
“I think so. They think he has a concussion. But his other two fighters won. One was the last fight, too. He won a shiny belt and everything.”
“I’m sorry, Mia.” Jared reaches over to squeeze my arm. “We were really looking forward to him coming.”
“Me, too.” I nod and manage to hold a smile. Tipping back my beer bottle I finish it off and meet my friends’ stares. “Anyone want another? I need to catch up!” They all decline, their drinks still full, and I turn to walk toward the cooler. Relieved their prying eyes aren’t on me, I drop my front for a moment and pull out my phone. Maybe I’m reading too much into this. Maybe Matt has business to take care of with the gym or he’s going to see how Ricky is. Either way, we need to talk. I don’t know anything about Matt’s life prior to meeting him at Zig’s.
Mia: Come over later?
I send the text and then turn off my cell so I won’t be tempted by his response. Pulling two beers from the cooler, I pop the tops on both and make my way back to my friends with the determination to have a fun night regardless of the cloud that rolled in on my life. All thanks to Matt Haywood.
“Where’s Jared?” Rae plops onto my lap, her sexy butterfly wings long deserted so she’s wearing not much more than a short skirt and bra.
“He and Logan disappeared an hour ago. I wouldn’t try to find them.”
“God! Everyone’s getting laid tonight but me.” She snuggles her head onto my shoulder.
“You and me both, sister,” I say because I’m still livid about the text Matt sent. I finally gave in and checked my phone about thirty minutes ago. Most everyone from the party has either left or is passed out.
“What? Why no Matt?” She slides off my lap and onto the seat next to mine. “Go get yourself some Thor lovin’. I would. This party’s over.”
“What would you do about this?” I shove my cell in her face, and I might be a little drunk because she has to push it back off her nose to read the screen. I already know what it says.
Matt: Sorry, don’t feel like company.
“Shit.” She swears and I bob my head with agreement.
“Right? Fucking asshole has fucked me every night this week but tonight he doesn’t feel like it.” I scoff and finish off my drink.
Rae shoves me with her hand. “You’ve been sleeping with Thor!”
I close my eyes and shake my head. “Matt. It’s just Matt.”
“Fucking asshole.” She shakes her head. “Hey! You need to go find him right now. Tell him to man the fuck up. If my girl wants to have zombie sex with his Thor self, then he needs to be there for you.”
“Right?” I shake my head with utter disappointment. “He’s probably asleep by now.”
“You know where he lives. Go get your Thor-Matt.” She giggles. “Thor-Matt. Doormat.”
I pat her face. “You’re drunk, Rae.”
She grins and wrinkles her nose. “So are you, Mia. Don’t drive a car though.”
“I’ve got this.” I find the app and type in the cross streets to his apartment. Matt Haywood wants to try and hide? Good luck, buddy. This zombie is ready to hunt his ass down. I might even bite his head off. Depends on what he has to say for himself and whether that’s a good or bad thing.
My Uber driver pulls up alongside Matt’s building and eyes it suspiciously. “Need me to wait here?”
“No, thanks.” I exit the car. Sure, it’s not the greatest part of town, but it’s not unsafe. I climb the stairwell and follow the catwalk until I’m outside Matt’s apartment. I knock at the door, and resort to banging when he doesn’t respond or open. I know he’s fucking home. The lights are off inside, but he was texting me an hour ago.
“Matt! Open the goddamn door!”
“He’s not there, honey.” An angry looking elderly woman pokes her head out two doors over.
“You saw him leave?” I say, hopeful that maybe I’ve missed him. Maybe he changed his mind and went to find me.
She laughs but it holds no humor. “No, he’s been gone for weeks. Moved when we got the out.”
My face must show my confusion.
“The building’s going condo. He moved out, honey. He ain’t here.”
The fuck? Where the hell has he been living? “He’s not fucking here?” I shout and head down the stairs. “Fucking hell!” I pull out my phone and consider calling an Uber back home. Why didn’t he tell me he moved? I guess sure, it never really came up and it wasn’t as if I ever asked to go to his place since he’s been spending every night at mine. But it’s still concerning. Where could he be now? That’s when I wonder . . .
The gym isn’t far from here and the taxi ride is less than five dollars. There’s no way to ring the door bell, so I pound on the glass and hope I’m right. There’s no movement from inside so I pull out my cell and call his phone.
“Mia?” His voice is rough with sleep.
“I’m outside. Let me in,” I demand, not even a little bit nice. I’m tired from this entire night. From going to his fight and getting the brush off, to hanging out at the party without him. He ruined my favorite night of the year.
“What do you—” His voice stops short and that’s when I see his cell, a bright flashlight from inside the gym. He ends the call and comes over to unlock the doors. “Mia, what are you—”
“Why? Why would you just bail? Why did you move and not tell me?”
“Come inside. It’s cold,” he says, glancing up and down the street. I know I’m causing a scene but there’s no one out here to notice. “Mia, please come in.”
I consider staying outside just to spite him, but it’s the cold and the please that move my feet forward. I walk inside and wait for him to lock the door. Once it’s secure he stalks further into the building away from me. I’m guessing his intent is for me to follow but I’m still really pissed.
“Matt, what the hell?” I throw up my hands.
He stops and turns before he reaches the light switch. His brow furrows as I come near. “Mia, it’s almost three in the morning. Can we just sleep and talk in the morning?”
“Sleep? Where? Is this where you’re staying?”
He shrugs and drops his gaze. “For now. Kinda. I’ve been at your place most nights.”
“And what? You just don’t have an apartment? You didn’t think that’s something I’d like to know?” I’m sputtering but I don’t know how else to feel than totally betrayed.
“No.” His voice is a roar that carries throughout the empty space. “No, Mia, I didn’t think to mention I’m homeless. Because it’s fucking pathetic. You happy now?” His words lash out and I draw back with a step.
“Matt, I—”
“No. You know what?” He takes a step closer and points his finger in my face, “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to come here and shit on my life. I’ve had enough of that for one night.”
“What are you fucking talking about? I shit on your night? Hello! I was the one who came to your fight . . . like I promised. You’re the one who left me. Stood me up at the party.”
He scoffs and shakes his head. “Oh, come on. I’m sure you were fine. You were with your friends, just where you wanted to be. Remember? Them over me.”
He throws my own words in my face and it doesn’t feel good. “That’s not fair.”
“No, but it’s what you said. I get it, Mia. I do. Honestly, it’s cool. I’ve always come second best, anyway.” He shakes his head.
“Right, ’cause you’re the underdog?” I raise my chin with challenge. He wants to lay it all out, let’s do this.
His eyes, harsh and accusing, glare into mine. “What do you want me to say? Why did you even come here?”
Straightening my spine, I prepare for another kind of battle. “I came here for some answers. We’ve been fucking for weeks and I don’t even know who you are!”
“You don’t . . .” Jaw locked and lips tight, he tilts his head. “Really, Mia? If that’s how you feel, then I’m out.” He turns and walks towards his office.
“I knew you would be out from the beginning!” The words taste as sour as they feel.
He spins and stalks back toward me. “I don’t have time for this shit. I have real problems. Something you’d know nothing about. This was all just a game anyway, right?” His stare sinks into mine, a standoff, a battle of truth against lie, but as much as I began to hope for more, he’s correct.
“That’s right, Matt. This was a bet. You’re a fucking bet. The one thing you swore you never did.” His eyes narrow with each accusation. I should leave. I should shut up, but he deserves to hurt the way I do. “But looks like you couldn’t make it through to the end, could you? I knew you wouldn’t last four dates.”
“Goddamn it, Mia!” he roars and his fist punches along with his anger. I flinch as his knuckles come in contact with the wall behind me, a Matt sized hole now in the drywall. His anger. His rage. It’s exactly what a younger Mia would have tolerated, but I have no desire to walk that path again.
I stumble backwards and can’t get away fast enough. “Don’t call me. Don’t come see me. We’re over. All of it.” My voice is eerily calm for the unease running through my body and mind.
Matt holds his fist in his other hand and winces. “Mia, I’m sorry. I—”
“Don’t.” I warn and my back hits the front door.
His eyes fall to the floor with his breath. They lift again and I can hardly stand to meet his gaze, it’s so full of hurt. “At least let me take you home.”
I shake my head and glance away long enough to unlock the door. “No. I’ll find my own ride.” My fingers wrap around the cold metal of the handle and I tug it open.
“Mia, it’s not safe.”
My eyes snap back to his, only this time I’m not rattled by their scrutiny. Narrowing my glare, I hold out one hand to stop him from coming any closer. “I’ll be fine. You taught me how to fight, remember?” I stomp outside so angry, so hurt, and so blindsided that I don’t even look back. I try to slam the door behind me but it has one of those self-closing safeties and the bells on the handle jingle softly as it glides shut.
I walk down the street to the twenty-four-hour diner before requesting another Uber. I’m so angry at Matt. For leading me to believe there could be more. For making me feel things. God damn, my chest hurts.
My eyes sting and I’m overcome with the need to cry.
“You okay, sugar?” The waitress at the counter asks because I must look every bit the mess I feel. I’ve also been in this costume, face paint and all, for almost twelve hours now. She looks me up and down. “Coffee?”
I almost do cry because that’s quite possibly the only thing that could make this night, or should I say morning, better. “Yes, thank you.” I glance down at my phone and see my driver’s close. “To go, please?”
“You got it.” She winks and fills a cup. I leave a five on the counter and when she hands over my drink I quickly mix in sugar and cream. My phone buzzes with the alert and I wave to the nice waitress.
“Wait. Let me get your change.”
“Keep it.” I push out the doors just in time to catch my ride back to my apartment. The drive is short. At this hour there’s little traffic. I sip my coffee and try not to count up all the ways tonight went wrong—from witnessing Matt’s assault on his father to our fight at his gym. His fists clenched. All that fury in his eyes. In one furious punch, Matt brought back all my past demons. I’ve never felt unsafe with him before. But tonight . . . Tonight when he put his hand through the drywall, my first thought was When will that be me?
I can’t go back to that place again. I can’t be with a man who uses his physical strength to express his wrath. I’m stronger than the girl I was in college. I’m a woman who knows what she wants, and it’s not that.
I know what I need to do.
The driver pulls up to my building, and I thank him as I climb out of the car. With each step forward I’m more resolved than before. I’m done with Matt Haywood. Hell, I’m done with men in general. There’s one thing left, though, before I can put him out of my mind. A deal’s a deal, after all.
After a quick shower to wash off all my makeup, I arm myself with a pot of coffee and my most comfortable sweats. For the next few hours I make the final adjustments, finish the design and publish the changes on South Side’s new website. Before climbing into bed, I send a text to Jared asking for his help and then turn my phone off. I’m spent, exhausted, and have no fucks left to give, but still the tears flow. I thought I was guarding my heart, but somewhere along the way Matt tore down my defenses. If I weren’t so angry with him, I’d admit I was in love.
Sunday I awake to a buzz at my apartment door. My first thought is that is must be Matt, but as soon as I stand up the sleep fades from my mind and I remember everything, including my message to Jared. I grab the manila envelope from my kitchen counter on the way to the door.
“You rang?” He kisses my cheek and steps inside.
“Can you drop these by South Side Gym?” I hold out the envelope that contains Matt’s web hosting logins, along with a set of detailed instructions in case he wants to change what I’ve set up. It’s what I agreed to do for him, but if he can’t figure out how to upkeep things on his own, then that’s no longer my problem. Jared takes the envelope and I turn for a quick second to grab the bag I filled last night. There are only a few things. A toothbrush, a shirt, and the framed picture of Matt and me on our first date—the one from the Zombie Escape Room. I try to hold a smile and shove the bag at Jared. “This too.”
He opens it to glance inside, drops the envelope in the bag, and the moment he sees the photo his shoulders droop. “Mia . . .”
“Can you, or not? Preferably before work tomorrow,” I snap.
He glances up and releases a sigh. “I guess I can.”
“Thank you. You can tell him the website is live and working, too. I’m done,” I say matter of factly, as if that’s enough to erase the impact Matt made on my life.
Jared’s lips pinch together. “Matt?”
“Yes, him.”
“Mia, what happened?” He tries to reach for me but I hold up my hand.
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Not yet. We were only a stupid bet anyway. I’m done. We’re both moving on.”
“If you say so, but—”
I shake my head. “I do. I say so and there’s no one who can change my mind. Not even Matt Haywood himself, so can we please not talk about this anymore?”
Jared studies me a long moment. He nods and relents. “Okay, Kitten.”
“Thank you, Jared.”
“Want to grab dinner before I make the drop.” He holds up the bag.
I shake my head because I’d rather be alone. “Not tonight.”
His brows pull together. “You’re worrying me, Mia. Are you gonna be okay?”
“I’ll be fine. I will. I need to lick my wounds in peace. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” With one hand on the door and the other at his chest, I push him across my apartment threshold.
“Okay, I won’t harass you again. But when you’re ready to talk, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks, Jared.”
“Come here.” He pushes my door back open and wraps his arms around me. Pulling me close, he rocks us side to side. “Love you, Kitten.”
“Ugh! Stop!” I groan but don’t jerk away. His kindness pricks at my damn feelings again. I cried into my pillow until I fell asleep, so you’d think there’d be no tears left.
“Fine, fine, fine!” He squeezes me once more and backs out the door. “See you tomorrow, Kitten. It’ll all be okay. I promise.”
I nod and shut the door when he turns away. I pray to God he’s right.