He’s different tonight. Still tender and sweet, but rough around the edges. Real. Every thrust, touch, and kiss is filled with so much damn emotion. We aren’t just fucking. What he’s giving is more . . . and for the first time, maybe ever, I indulge in the idea that more is something I’d like.
We don’t talk about Zig’s. Or why I canceled our training. We don’t do anything other than strip the other of our clothes and strive for pleasure. Somehow in this moment that’s even more significant. I don’t know what it means for us exactly, but I’m too caught up to analyze it.
We break apart long enough for Matt to peel off his socks, and I crawl onto the bed on my hands and knees. Before I can turn around he’s at my back, one hand working between my legs. His other presses between my shoulder blades and forces my ass in the air. With anyone else it’d be uncomfortable, but with him it only makes me wet.
He doesn’t waste much time before his mouth replaces his fingers. Licking between my folds, he spreads my cheeks wide. My fingers dig into the bedding and I press my face into my pillow to moan. His lips, beard, and tongue all work in well-practiced unison to stimulate my clit and lap up my juices. It’s so good and yet it’s almost too much. Every time my legs try to squeeze together he presses them apart. His fingers dig into my flesh so hard I’m going to have bruises, but that only heightens the sensation.
His mouth leaves my center and the bed dips as he joins me. Firm hands grip my hips, holding me in place while his lips move up my spine until his entire body frames mine. He brushes my hair to one side and it exposes my neck and shoulder. God, I love the feel of his lips there. His breath is hot and heavy, shattering goosebumps over my skin.
“Mia.” My name leaves his lips in a groan that teases the shell of my ear. I push up onto my hands so I can arch back against him. It aligns his cock against where I want him most and without any hesitation he slides inside.
“Yes, please. More.” My demands are met with every thrust, and he leans back to fuck me at a more vigorous pace. There’s nothing soft or sweet about this. Powerful. Hard. Punishing. This is what he gives, and I continue to beg for more.
Matt’s hands leave my hips, one to cup my breast and squeeze, while the other weaves into the hair at my nape. “Fuck, Mia. I’m close.” He fists my hair, licks my earlobe, and moans into the crook of my shoulder. His drives come deeper, harder, and his breath hits my ear with each thrust.
Yanking at my hair, Matt straightens his spine so my hands come off the bed. I’m completely at his mercy in this position, his hands holding me upright on my knees. Usually that’s enough to make me want to run, but with Matt’s strong arms holding me up, his cock thrusting inside, and his mouth at my ear, I give over to the ecstasy of it all. My pleasure surges with each touch, each breath, and I come hard and fast.
Matt doesn’t relent, even after my body comes down from the aftermath of my orgasm. He’s too consumed with chasing his own release, and even though I didn’t think it possible, his thrusts come harder and faster. It’s enough to make me all hot and bothered again.
“Mia . . . I need . . . I want . . .” The words rush from his lips in a mess of nonsense but that only shows me he’s almost there.
“I know, Matt. I know.”
“I’m gonna . . .” He tries to pull away but I reach back and grab his legs to keep him close.
“Come inside me.” The words fly from my mouth, urging on his visceral reaction. I’ve never asked for that before. Never. But as Matt groans into my ear, peppering kisses down my neck as he lowers us both back to the bed I’m filled with more than just his release. Intimacy so powerful wraps around my heart, it’s enough to take away my breath.
He rolls us both to our sides, his arm wrapped protectively around my waist. Maybe it’s accidental, maybe it’s comfort. But I read his actions as a silent plea that I won’t pull away and run. I loathe snuggling. I don’t generally want to be touched post-sex, but this doesn’t feel suffocating. I remain lying next to Matt, my back to his front, for as long as I can.
Needing to clean up in the bathroom, I slink from the bed and take care of business. Matt watches me from the bed but he doesn’t speak or make a move. “Be right back,” I whisper, almost too afraid to speak too loudly and break this moment between us. Whatever this is.
After using the restroom and double checking the lock at my door, I tiptoe back to my room. The lights are on and Matt hasn’t moved from my bed. The only change is he’s pulled on his boxer briefs, and his chest rises and falls with his slumber. I should probably wake him. We should probably talk. At the very least, I should make him leave, but instead I flip off the lights and creep back to my bed.
Climbing onto the mattress, I drag the bedding off the floor from where it fell and cover us both.
“Thank you, Mia,” Matt whispers and his hand finds my body under the covers.
“You’re welcome,” I say but I’m not exactly sure what for. I turn away and prop my head on the pillow, curling my body into a letter S. It’s not a formal invitation to sleep over but I’m glad he doesn’t require one. Instead, his hand runs over my hip, tracing imaginary circles until his breath falls as heavy and slow as mine. I don’t even know who drifts to sleep first, but I do know this feels like the most right thing I’ve done all week.
Meow.
Oh, Rick Grimes, please don’t attack my feet. I wake with the buzz of my alarm, and as per our morning ritual, my dick of a cat is waiting for my retreat from the safety of my blankets. Only as I blink and clear the sleep from my eyes, it’s not me Rick is meowing at.
“You’re a good kitty cat, aren’t you?” Matt murmurs in his deep rumble. Oh. Right. Matt Haywood is in my bed. He slept over last night. I don’t know which is more alarming; that or the fact Rick is actually purring as Matt rubs behind his ears.
I turn on my side and tuck my arm underneath my head as Matt lifts his gaze from the cat. His hair is wet, making the locks appear darker. They even curl a little from where they fall into his face. He’s dressed in only his boxers, and I soak in the view of his naked chest while resisting the urge to sigh. He’s a gorgeous man.
“Morning, sleepy. Hope it’s okay I used your shower.” His lips pull up on one side and I swear Rick’s purring gets even louder. “Cute cat.”
“His name’s Rick.”
“Rick?” Matt quirks his brow.
“Rick Grimes, yeah.”
“The show.” He chuckles, getting the reference, and stands from the bed. “Nice.” Rick jumps off the bed and follows Matt over to the corner of my room. I watch as Matt retrieves pieces of his clothes from last night one by one.
“Now who’s doing a walk of shame?”
“Are you kidding?” He turns his chin to give me a wink before pulling his pants up and picking his shirt up off the floor. “It’s a walk of honor. I’m proud to be leaving your place in my day old clothes. I hope everyone notices.” He does a little shimmy and it’s enough to make me laugh, even at this early hour.
“You’re such a dork.” I toss a pillow at him but he dodges it, instead walking over to gather the rest of his clothing.
He comes to sit at the foot of my bed, all teasing gone from his expression. “Hey, I have to head to the gym.”
I nod. “Okay, I should probably get ready for work, too.”
“Thank you. For last night.” His hand squeezes my leg through the covers. Last night meant something more to him. It was evident in every touch and kiss. I should ask why, but before I can, his lips lift into a smirk. “And this morning.”
“What did I do this morning?” I shake my head, totally confused.
He grins again and that’s when I notice a second too late he has the blankets clenched in each hand. With a yank he pulls them right off my body and his eyes light with appreciation at my naked form.
“Really, Matt?” I sit up, not at all ashamed to be bare in front of him. Why should I be when his gaze holds so much desire?
“I really have to leave . . .” He groans and turns away to find his shoes.
Things between us are light, easy, and the smart thing would be to let it ride, but with the morning of a new day, I can’t just let things go. “Why did you cancel our date on Saturday?” The words blurt out, causing him to stop and meet my stare.
“I got held up training Xavier Johnson. He’s been going through a few things that we had to work around.”
I nod because that’s an answer that makes perfect sense. One that doesn’t include drama or games.
“Why did you show at Zig’s?” His gaze is full of a watchfulness that goes straight to my intent.
“I let my friend talk me into it. That was a mistake.”
“Why? Because it didn’t work out the way you wanted?”
“No, because she ditched me for a one-night stand and then you went all controlling alpha on me. I don’t like that, Matt. I told you I don’t like being told what to do, or where to go.”
He nods. His gaze is sober but he walks closer until he stands over me. He bends down and lifts my chin with the tips of his fingers. His lips brush against mine once and then he pulls away. “Okay. I’m sorry about that. I won’t do it again.”
“Thank you,” I murmur and hold his gaze until I can’t anymore.
Meow. Rick jumps on the bed and trots between us. I pull back, lifting the covers over my body for protection and the shuffle causes Rick to jump down with another loud meow.
“Your cat is adorable.” Matt chuckles.
And there he is, Rick fucking Grimes, winding his way in and out of Matt’s legs in circle eights. His tail twitches back and forth, and for once he actually seems content. What the—? Is he purring?
“He’s a real traitor, that’s for sure,” I grumble and climb off the bed to throw on a big T-shirt and pair of sweats. Matt walks out to the living room and I can hear him cooing to Rick while he laces up his boots. I step out of my room to get a glass of water and when I pass by, the cat hisses.
“Whoa!” Matt bends down and scratches Rick behind the ears. “No need to get excited, big guy. I promise to be good to your owner.”
“He’s not pissed at you. He hates me.”
“Your cat hates you? I’m sure that’s not true.”
“The fucker shits in my closet once a week. The last time, I swear he smiled at me mid-poo.”
“I think you’re being paranoid. He’s a good cat. Aren’t you, buddy?” Rick just purrs and rubs his head on Matt’s palm as though he can’t get enough. At least that’s something Rick and I have in common.
“Really, Rick? Make a liar out of me, why don’t you?” I laugh because Matt really does have some lion tamer gift when it comes to my psycho cat. Bringing my cup to my lips, I take a gulp of water.
Matt walks over. “Mia, I have something I want to ask you.”
Oh, God. This is it. The moment he asks me to take things further. To label our relationship when I’m not ready. Only this time is different, and for the first time I’d actually consider it. Oh, God. What’s happened to my cold heart for one?
“Mia? You okay?” He tilts his head.
I realize I’m still holding the water in my mouth. I swallow and set my glass down. “What? Fine. Yeah. Sure.”
He laughs at my sputtering and steps into my personal space. “You sure?”
“Totally. Why do you ask?”
“You went white as a ghost there. Or should I say zombie?” His knuckles skim over my cheekbone, a tender graze and I have to shut my eyes as his hand cups my jaw.
“I’m fine. Promise,” I whisper as my pulse races along with thoughts of this man. Of being together. Which only leads to images of more sex together and my lids snap open. His lips, so damn plump I want to kiss them, are only a short distance away and all I can focus on. Even when he laughs at me. He’s totally laughing at me.
“What?” I snap more harshly than I intend. Doesn’t deter his amusement.
“Nothing. I really like when you look at my mouth like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you want these lips on you. All over you. Fuck, Mia. I think about that more than I should.”
“Me, too.”
“Shit. I’m already distracted. My question.”
“What question?”
“Will you . . .” My heart skips a beat. That or I hold my breath until the rest of the words leave his glorious lips. “Come watch my guys fight?”
“Fight?” I shake my head because my attraction toward this man is now fucking with my ability to process words.
“Yeah, the one I’ve been telling you about. My guy, Xavier, has a big match-up. I think it could be a life changer for him. Me too, really. I have a couple others on the card also. Could be a big night for my gym and I’d like you to come.”
“Oh.” I don’t know why I’m disappointed. I really thought he was going to ask for more. And I was going to give it to him. My pride is more than a little bruised, which is stupid of me. I set these boundaries. I made the rules. He’s only playing by them. “So, should I bring a friend? How do I get tickets?”
His laugher, that deep rumble that shakes his entire chest, prickles my irritation, but only for a moment. He steps closer and cages me between him and the kitchen counter. My breasts press against his chest as he claims my lips for a kiss. When he pulls back we’re both out of breath.
“No, Mia. I want you to go as my date. Though it’s not a very good one when I think about it. I’ll have to meet you there, and I’ll be back with my fighters the entire time.”
“So you’re asking me on a date, but we won’t really be together?” I lift my brow because considering all things between us, that is kind of funny.
His brow furrows. “Yeah, I’m sorry, retract my question.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “It’s perfect. Of course I’ll go.”
His smile comes immediately and fills his face in a way that even his eyes sparkle with delight. “God, you know how much I’m going to want you? Seeing you up in the stands, cheering us on? Afterwards I’m taking you out.” His arms wrap around my waist and his lips kiss from my neck to between my breasts.
I moan and run my hand down the front of his jeans where he’s already hard for me. “Or you could take me in?”
He nods his head, the scruff of his beard scratching against my skin. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”
“My place? Or we could go to yours.”
“Yours.” He steps back and his smile dims. “Unless you don’t want to. I can book us a place downtown for the night?”
We haven’t talked about it much, not since that one time, but I get the feeling he doesn’t have a lot of money. I don’t bring it up, though, because I don’t want him to feel badly or inferior because I have more. Besides, that’s not why I like spending time with him. I can buy my own damn food and entertainment. His company is better than what money can buy.
“No. Let’s come back here. I’ll subject you to more Walking Dead.” I grin and his smile is back in full force.
“God, no! Please!”
“You love it,” I smart. My backside presses into the counter and he hugs me close, sending a tingle of lust down my spine.
“Mia.”
“Yes, Matt?”
“I’m really happy you walked into Zig’s last month.”
I am, too. Those words are more dangerous than they should be and instead of letting them loose, I mash my lips together and nod.
Matt takes a step back and holds my gaze. I almost think he’s going to call me out. Push for more. Ask questions about my feelings, but instead he assaults my lips with his mouth. We ignite and burn, push and pull, and by the time he pulls away from my body we’re both breathing heavily.
“I’ve gotta go to work.” His smile pulls wide with that cocky smirk and only makes me want to drag him back to bed even more.
“Me, too,” I say instead. “Oh, wait. When is this fight?”
“Next Saturday.”
“Wait, what? The one before Halloween?”
He looks up and nods his head. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
Shit, shit, shit. “I . . . uh . . . I can’t go.”
“But you just said . . .”
“I’m sorry. It’s . . . That’s the night of Jared and Rae’s big yearly bash. It’s tradition. We have themed costumes and everything.” I try to explain the importance. This is my favorite holiday, and the party is something I look forward to every year. These friends have been by my side for my entire adult life.
Matt’s chin dips and he shoves his hands into the back of his pants. “Oh, yeah. No, that’s cool.”
“I’m sorry, Matt. If it were any other night, I’d totally be down.”
“It’s fine, Mia.” His frown pulls his lips into a straight line and he won’t quite meet my gaze.
“Don’t say it’s fine if it’s not.” I wrap my arms around my waist and it’s a feeble addition to the defensiveness I feel.
“Okay, it’s not.” His brow furrows and he leans against the counter across from me. He reaches out and catches one of my palms in his, stroking his thumb across the back of my hand. If I weren’t riled up, his touch would be a comfort. Instead, it only feels imposing. “This is really important to me, and I’d like you there. But instead you’ll be hanging out with your friends at a Halloween party.”
“It’s not just some random party, Matt. This is something we’ve done every year. Don’t put me in a position where I have to choose you over my friends, because I’m sorry, but it won’t be you.”
His gaze narrows and he tilts his chin. “Why does it have to be a choice? Why can’t you do both?”
I pull my hand out of his and shake my head. “I don’t really think that’d work.”
“If you want it to, it can. Look, I’m not telling you how to live your life. Far from it, but if you want to come to the fight, come. We can go to the Halloween party afterwards. That is, unless I’m not invited, then I guess you go without me.” He shrugs and looks away.
“Matt . . .” I hate that we’re having this argument.
He takes a deep breath. “You asked me to be honest. This is me laying it out. Think about it and let me know if I should save you a ticket.” His phone chimes and when he pulls it from his pocket he gives me a tight smile and walks toward the door. “I gotta run. For real.”
I think that’s it. This is the end I always saw coming, but rather than storming off or leaving me with my doubts, Matt comes back to the kitchen, lifts my chin with his fingers, and brushes his lips across mine. “Bye, Mia. Thanks again for last night.”
“Bye, Matt,” I mumble but he’s already out of my apartment, the front door slamming shut with his escape. Am I in the wrong here? Maybe I should try and do the fights and the party? Maybe I’m being selfish and stubborn? But what about Jared and Rae? They don’t deserve to be tossed to the side just because I’m into some guy.
Damn Matt Haywood. Damn him for making me feel things. Fucking feelings, complicating this bet and simple arrangement we’ve got going. I don’t want to give up the things I love. It starts here, but where does it end? Within a few months I’ll be trading my yearly trip to Comic Con in San Diego for a weekend of MMA in Vegas. Sitting on the sidelines while Matt lives in the limelight. No, fucking thank you. Stomping toward my shower, I push all thoughts of Matt out of my head and get ready for a productive day at work.