Over the next week, Ben spent longs hours at the Helping Hand Café. He implemented a range of processes aimed to make the soup kitchen self-sufficient and not rely on donations.

With an impressive array of volunteers, he interviewed each of them to determine their strengths, before documenting everything in a spread sheet. Twice a week, on their quietest days, he organised for large pots of soup to be made. The aim was to sell to the city workers for both lunch and take-out.

A display fridge had been donated, which they stocked with soup take-out and he oversaw the advertising campaign to market the sale of soups and homemade food. Over the next month, he planned to expand the take-out range to hearty meals like lasagne, curry and stir-fry.

He worked long hours and only spent time at Lisa and Gabe’s to sleep. As much as he loved his cousin, he was avoiding her, unable to share in the joy and happiness of her marriage and expectant news. The pain of Kate’s departure ate into him and he thought about her constantly.

Unlike twelve years ago when he’d been angry and bitter, he was now melancholy and despondent. They couldn’t resolve their issues. It was a stalemate. Even if he moved to New York, what would he do? Apart from the obvious issues of visas, he didn’t have family, support or friends and he’d be bored.

They hadn’t even talked about a reunion. No need to think about him living in her apartment keeping her cat company.

What was the point of even thinking about a new life with Kate? She hadn’t indicated once she was interested in trying again. She wanted her career and to remain living here.

Ben shivered. As much as he liked this vibrant city, he wanted to live permanently in Melbourne where the weather was warmer and his family was close by.

“You’re moping around like a teenager,” Lisa said with a jab of her fingers to his ribs.

“Leave me alone,” he snapped. “Go and have sex with Gabe.” He flicked his hand in her direction to dismiss her.

She took a step closer. “I’ve had a couple of staff members tell me you don’t look well, and they’re worried about you.”

“Nothing a few days at the beach won’t fix,” he said. “It will still be summer when I get back and I intend to spend three days surfing on the coast. I’m sick of this cold, wintery weather.”

Lisa placed her hands on her hips. “I don’t want to talk about the weather, I want to talk about you.”

He made a show of looking around the café. “People can hear and I’m not talking.”

“We’re the only ones here, and you know it.” To prove her point, she walked to the front door and flipped the sign from open to closed. “Happy?” she said through narrowed eyes, walking back towards him.

“I’ll be happy when you two go to Australia.” He looked at his watch. “Only two days, seven hours and,” he paused, “eighteen minutes.”

“I’ll be glad to see the back of you,” Lisa flung at him. “I was so excited to see you and you’ve been as much fun to be with as a moody premenstrual teenage girl.”

“You’re welcome,” he said with a grin.

She ignored his smart reply with a roll of her eyes. “What’s going on?”

Lifting his phone, he made a show of looking at his notes. “Tomorrow, we’ll be making…”

A punch to his arm had him looking into the eyes of his cousin that were ablaze with anger. “Why did you hit me?”

“Because you’re being obtuse,” Lisa said, her hands squarely resting on her hips.

They stood facing each other and he could see genuine concern etched across her face. How many times had she come over to be with him when Kate left him all those years ago? She’d listened to him, watched movies, played video games and been the best support when he thought his teen heart would never mend.

She deserved better from him, even if he would never admit it.

“I’ll make you a coffee?” she offered with a raised eyebrow.

He let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine, but only because you know exactly how I like it.” He ran his fingers through his hair, while watching Lisa grind the beans.

“It’s all your fault,” he said.

“Really?” she stuck her tongue out at him. “Because I found the love of my life here?”

“No, because you invited Kate to your wedding. If she hadn’t been there, I could’ve just continued being angry with her. Eventually, I’ll fall in love with someone else, get married, start a family and be as pathetically cute as you and Gabe are.”

She nodded, while busying herself with the coffee.

“I wanted to stay angry with her, but we’ve talked and I understand her more now than ever. I see why she did what she did,” he confessed. And he even partially agreed with her need to get away and start a journey of self-discovery and purpose.

“I don’t know if my love would’ve been enough for her. She needed to spread her wings, so to speak, and fly on her own. Unlike us, she didn’t have a happy home life, and she needed to create a life of her own.” He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I just wish it could’ve been with me,” he confessed in a low voice.

“Assuming you could live here in New York, would you?” She asked with a serious tone before reminding him, “I’m here.”

She handed him an espresso, exactly how he liked it, with one teaspoon of sugar.

“I don’t think so. It’s different for you. Gabe’s family has welcomed you. Not only do you have a loving family here in New York, you have one in Melbourne.” He sipped the coffee, needing time to manage his thoughts. “Kate has a demanding career, I have nothing here. What would I do?”

He drained the remainder of his espresso and started to pace. “In Melbourne, I have a job and I’m busy helping the needy. I can’t do that here. Besides, I don’t even know if she’s interested in trying again with me.”

“Have you spoken with her about it?”

“In a way, yes. She’s not interested in giving up her career. It defines her. But apart from you, there’s nothing here for me.” He lowered his head and pretended to study the patterns of the floor tiles.

“She’s had plenty of opportunity but she’s never said she wants to start again with me. We couldn’t work things out twelve years ago, and maybe we can’t do it now either.”

“But you’re both older now. You are different people.”

“Lisa,” he glared at her, “as much as I love you, I want you to leave me alone about this.” His tone was angry and filled with frustration. “As soon as I return home, I will find someone to marry. I don’t care if there isn’t love, I’ll make it work because this heartache crap is sickening and annoying.”

He started to pace the floor again. “You have stars in your eyes. You fell in love with Gabe and he with you in under two weeks. You were meant for each other.” He gulped some air. “Kate and I have known each other for years, and I thought she was my beshert, my soulmate. But she doesn’t think so, so I must be wrong. I’m sick of being hung up on her and I want to move on.”

Lisa walked towards him and he knew she wanted to give him comfort. He wasn’t in the mood. “I don’t want a hug and I just want to be on my own. As soon as you get back from Charlotte’s wedding, I’m leaving. I’m going to train Marlowe. She’s smart, savvy and has a good grip on my spread sheets. And if she has any questions, I’m an email or phone call away.”

“I’m sorry Ben. I never meant for you to get hurt.” There was genuine remorse in her voice and he knew she would never intentionally hurt anyone.

His heart ached at the sight of her forlorn gaze and slumped shoulders. “I know.” He walked towards her and gathered her, holding her close to him. Pressing a light kiss to her forehead he said, “Thanks.”

* * *

Christmas came and went. Ben spent long hours making the centre festive and a place of welcome for those who were on their own. Unfortunately, he knew how they felt.

With Gabe and Lisa in Australia, he avoided their empty apartment as much as possible. He needed distraction, anything to stop thinking about the what-ifs between him and Kate.

It was probably for the best. You couldn’t force happiness and he tried to focus on the positive aspects of his trip to New York.

The days were a blur of long hours in the kitchen, cooking and instructing as well as plenty of late nights documenting processes for the café. Marlowe was a brilliant choice and she eagerly and competently managed each task he gave her. Ben was sure that by the time Lisa and Gabe return from Australia in the second week of January, he would be able to leave knowing the café would be well managed.

With New Year’s Eve that night, Ben planned to spend the evening with a sci-fi movie marathon. The Helping Hand café was closed as most of the volunteers had expressed a desire not to work.

With nowhere to go and no interest in being the only loser not having someone to kiss, he preferred the solitude of the apartment.

His mobile phone rang and he was shocked when he saw it was Kate calling.

“Hi Ben, I know you never wanted to hear from me again but if you don’t have anything to do tonight, do you want to join me? I bought two tickets to a rooftop bar, and my friend has a new boyfriend. Either he goes or you go.”

Ben scratched his head. “Sorry, I don’t follow.”

“She wants me to give up my ticket so her new boyfriend can go. Since I was the single one, she didn’t see any issue with me staying home alone on New Year’s.”

He sighed. “Parties aren’t really my scene,” he said with honesty.

“Not mine either, but I bought the tickets weeks ago and I’m annoyed that I’m expected to give up my space for her boyfriend.” She snapped, her voice filled with frustration and annoyance.

“Just say no,” he said, not really following why she’d called him.

There was a pause which made him realise there was more to the story than just two friends disagreeing.

“I’m sorry Ben, but in my irritation at her insistence, I told her I had a boyfriend who was here from Australia and that I was keeping the tickets.” She cleared her throat. “I bought the tickets to share. At the last minute, she demands the tickets for herself. I just wanted to go to the bar and have some fun.”

He cracked his knuckles and contemplated the situation. “Maybe you should give her the tickets?” He suggested. It was a dangerous game she was playing and he didn’t want to spend the evening at a bar, not knowing anyone, pretending to be having a good time. The movie marathon was more appealing.

“Sorry to have bothered you. It’s not easy to get the tickets and I thought you’d be agreeable to helping me out. I guess I was wrong. Happy New Year Ben.” She disconnected the call and his heart sank.

He felt awful for letting her down and not being there for her. He would’ve attended a small, intimate party but one that was filled with people and loud music was not for him. But it was one night. Couldn’t he do that for her?

But she wanted him there so she didn’t have to give up the tickets. He scratched his head. She didn’t want him, she didn’t want to miss out on the evening she’d organised.

On New Year’s Eve, she’d be alone. Just like him.

Wouldn’t it be better if they did something together rather than being on their own? Dinner and a walk around town with Kate sounded more appealing than being on his own with a stack of DVDs.

He stared at his phone, thinking about the what-ifs. Could he do it? Spend time with her? Rubbing his hand across his face, he reminded himself that it was better to do something kind than not.

Using Lisa’s mobile phone, he scrolled through the Internet looking at what to do on New Year in New York that could be done without a reservation or booking.

A dozen last minute-ideas popped up on screen, and he chose one. Now he just hoped that Kate would love it, too.

Only one way to find out.

He called her back.

* * *

Later that night, bundled in warm clothes, he and Kate walked through Central Park following the crowds.

“Lucky I read up on line to avoid Times Square, as it’s so busy,” he said.

“You did well,” she replied. “Thanks for taking me out. I gave the tickets to my friend and she was so happy and thankful.” She paused and stole a look at him. “She and her boyfriend will enjoy the bar more than you and I.”

His heart warmed at her words. “You did the right thing.”

She nodded in reply but didn’t say anything.

It was a cold night but not bitterly, and Ben was thankful to have borrowed Gabe’s warm coat for the evening. He adjusted the knapsack he was carrying.

“What did you bring?” she pointed to his back.

“Some provisions for the evening, a rug, hot chocolate and cake,” he said.

She placed her hands over her heart. “You make the best hot chocolate. Are you going to sell it at the soup kitchen?”

He touched his nose. “No way. It’s a family secret. I’m not giving out the recipe to anyone.”

They walked a bit longer before he said, “I’m glad we’re out together. It seemed silly for us to be on our own.”

She gave him a lazy smile. “I’m glad to have relieved your boredom.”

He ignored the theatrics. “Thanks for answering my call this afternoon, I wasn’t sure if you would.” He didn’t want to tell her that he’d been as nervous as a teen making plans for a date. There had been a slight tremble in his fingers when he’d dialled her number.

“When I said good-bye in the bar, I meant it.” She paused. “But I’ve done a lot of thinking the past couple of weeks.”

His heart ached in response to the sadness in her voice. “So have I,” he admitted.

Tugging her to the side to avoid the crowds of families and revellers, they sat on a bench, facing each other.

He took her hand. “It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m returning home in a couple of weeks, so I’m going to tell you exactly how I feel.” He drew in a deep breath of courage, prepared to admit his feelings even if it meant having his heart broken yet again. “I wish we could start again and have the happiness that Lisa and Gabe have. I want that with you.” His heart picked up and sped along as nerves jangled into knots.

She sucked in a sharp breath, and she opened her mouth to say something but he placed his finger across her lips to silence her.

“This is not easy for me to say. Just let me speak.” He had to get the words out before he panicked and got cold feet. “I thought I was over you but seeing you at the wedding made me realise I still have feelings for you. It’s been twelve years and in that time, I’ve dated. But I never found the right woman because I was subconsciously comparing them to you.” He squashed a need to stop talking, to stop revealing his feelings to the one person who could hurt him again.

“I want what Lisa and Gabe have. Either it’s with you or someone else, but I’m thirty and feel ready to settle down.” He paused and took in her gaze that was squarely focused on him, her lips parted but she said nothing.

“I want to offer you the following. You come back to Melbourne with me and work in the career that you want. But we’ll be together. And when you’re ready to start a family, I’ll be the one to stay home and raise them, and you can continue working. You’ll have everything you want, but we’ll do it in Australia.”

He cleared his throat. “I can’t work here and it would be hard for me to live here. But back home, we have the support of family and friends.”

He drew in a ragged breath. “I’ll accept your career and long working hours but so I don’t become resentful and bored, I need something to do during the day. I can’t do that here. Can we find a compromise to be together? Tell me.”

She stared at him and her poker face gave nothing away which made his belly clench in angst. He’d prepared himself to be dumped, yet again, but she clutched his hand.

Her gaze softened and she looked at him with kindness. “Ben. I’ve spent twelve years on a path of self-discovery and it’s been incredible and I’ve achieved everything I wanted and more. My life has been good, and I thought I was happy.” She paused. “But I was content, not happy. I’m alone. My manager loves that I work long hours and never complains.” She inched closer to him. “But reconnecting with you has reminded me that a piece of my heart is missing.

“I have few friends and no family. I spend so much time alone, but on the Sabbath and Jewish festivals, I miss being surrounded by others. You have that, and that’s what I want. I’ve spent the past two weeks trying to tell myself that I was fine but I’m not.” He could hear the sincerity in her voice and see the strain around her mouth.

“Since the wedding, my world has been turned upside down. It’s like nothing is the same.” Her eyes filled with tears and she wiped them away with her gloved hand. “I thought I knew what I wanted but now I don’t.”

“What do you know?” he asked.

“I know that I miss you, really miss you. It’s like a piece of my soul is missing. I’m restless and not enjoying my job anymore.” She threw her hands up in the air to emphasise the impact his presence has been on her.

“I know so much has happened between us, but I want a chance with you.” He took both of her hands in his and gazed at her. “Will you give us a chance and if it doesn’t work, we’ll know that we tried our best?” He asked with a beseeching tone.

“No,” she shook her head and gave him a frown.

His lungs grew heavy and his shoulders slumped, mentally preparing himself that she was about to leave him, again.

She ran a finger down the side of his face and said, “I’m saying no, because it will work, I know it will. We’re older and prepared to make sacrifices for each other. I know we can do it.” More tears swam in front of her eyes, and Ben tugged his hand free from his glove, to wipe the tears gently away.

His fingers trailed along the soft skin on her jaw, his gaze locked on hers.

“I can’t believe it,” he said. “You’ve made me the happiest guy ever.” He leapt to a standing position. “Come here, darling.” He lifted her so they stood in front of each other.

“All these years. . .” his voice trailed as he stared at her. The sound of people around them faded, and it was as if they were the only ones in the large New York park. Their gazes locked on each other and their warm breath mingled.

A warmth of joy spread throughout his body and he crushed her to him, holding her close, determined to never lose her again. Her arms came up, looping around his neck and they clung to each other as the full force of emotions ran through them.

He stood back, still hugging her. “I never want to lose you again.” He paused. “You’re the most beautiful, intelligent woman I know. From now on, we make decisions together. Okay?”

She nodded with enthusiasm before drawing him close. “I love you, Ben. I never stopped”

His mouth crashed against hers and he held her tight, reluctant to miss a moment with her. They kissed and kissed.

He’d never felt as complete as he did with Kate in his arms.

His hands cupped her cheeks and he deepened the kiss. She welcomed his tongue and what started as playful kisses, became hot and heavy. He ached to touch and pleasure her.

“It’s not midnight, get a room,” someone yelled, as they walked past.

They broke apart, their breathing ragged and their eyes wide open. They looked around, reminding themselves they were in a public park, surrounded by families and others wanting a fun, respectable night out.

He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “I’m no longer interested in the fireworks. I want to make love to you, touch and kiss you all over, and show you how much I love you.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Want to get out of here?”

“Sure.” She returned his grin. “I’d rather be with you, alone,” she said. “My apartment is closer, let’s go.”

He tugged her close as they started walking quickly, out of the park and back towards the city.

“You make me happy,” he said.

“I’m always happy when I’m with you,” she said, giving him a searing look that made him pick up his pace so they could get to the warmth and privacy of her apartment even quicker.