Ben Sassoon shifted his feet, a smile plastered to his face, nodding enthusiastically at the mazal tovs for his cousin’s wedding, all the while he was counting down the weeks till he could leave New York and return to his home city of Melbourne.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like New York; he loved it, and he should be excited to be here for a few months. But he wasn’t.

Kate was here. Here in New York and here at the wedding. Cripes.

Hiding behind a pair of dark sunglasses and pretending that seeing her again was not akin to a knife being plunged into his heart, he continued to allow his cheek to be kissed by the older women of his family.

His mum, grandmother and aunties were all here in New York to celebrate his cousin Lisa Sassoon’s wedding to Gabe Olivari.

You wouldn’t know there was a family gathering, a l’chaim, planned one month later in Melbourne. No. The family, including him, had made the long flight over to attend the nuptials.

Lisa was his favourite cousin. Not only close in age, they’d bonded over games of backyard cricket, athletics and sci-fi movies. Best friends since school, he’d missed her playful smile and happy disposition since she’d been living in New York.

As her bridesman, one of her bridesmaids, he couldn’t be happier that she’d found the love of her life in Gabe. Gabe was the type of bloke he’d like to hang out with—shame they lived in New York.

Casting a quick glance around the reception area and removing his glasses, he searched for the woman who had destroyed his heart twelve years ago.

Kate Silver.

What to say? Hi Kate, how’s life? Thanks for ruining mine. He rubbed his fingers across his chin, the three-day stubble scratching his fingertips.

He’d made a decision since recently turning thirty that he was going to find a wife. He may not find love but he’d find someone he was compatible with, who shared his values and ideals. And in time, he hoped, love would blossom.

Searching for love had left him empty-handed. Perhaps this new way would work better? He hoped so.

The string quartet commenced “Sunrise, Sunset” from Fiddler on the Roof. The guests hurried to their seats and Ben strode to his place at the back of the centre, with the other bridesmaids. The wedding countdown was on; three, two, one.

* * *

Kate Silver had arrived promptly, as she always did, but had hung back, shuffling her feet on the sidewalk, reluctant to go inside.

As an attorney, she was known for her ruthlessness and hard-nosed disposition. But on a winter’s day in Manhattan, her nerves hummed with the ferocity of tom-tom drums. Unable to walk inside and be a part of the simcha, she held back.

After leaving her Melbourne life behind all those years ago, she’d re-invented herself as a reliable, efficient attorney who always achieved success.

Her career had consumed her until a few months back when a chance meeting with her school pal, Lisa Sassoon, had her rekindling their friendship. And now she was at her wedding, seeing faces that she’d avoided for so long. Especially one.

Sucking in a deep breath, she reminded herself that she was a successful woman with an amazing career, living in a brilliant, secure apartment in Manhattan. Drawing her coat closer, she hoped to not only protect herself from the cold, but also to protect her heart from seeing Ben again.

In stilettos, she walked on unsteady legs inside to the wedding.

* * *

The Jewish wedding ceremony was simple, tasteful and beautiful. There was a feeling of intimacy even though there were hundreds of guests. It meant he could be lost in the crowd and hopefully not see Kate.

Between the chuppah, the ceremony and the dinner, guests mingled whilst delicious canapés were served and champagne flowed.

Ben stood close to the Australian contingent, mingling with family rather than with the many single young women attending.

A hand clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re young and single, why are you with us instead of over there?” Robert Sassoon, Lisa’s father asked, pointing to a small group of women in their mid-twenties.

It was where he should have been, not hiding like some teen. Fool that he was.

“I was just being polite.” His head nodded towards the large family group.

“Forget them,” the older man chuckled. “Go and have fun.” He nudged Ben towards the women before waggling his eyebrows, a lá Groucho Marx.

Draining his beer, Ben left the empty glass with a waiter and headed towards the restrooms. His nerves were jangled and an urgent need to get out of the claustrophobic environment weighed heavily on him. The noise, laughter and chit-chat of six hundred people were not for him. He was quiet, unassuming and preferred being with friends in a small, quiet group.

Not paying attention to where he was going, he knocked into a young woman dressed in black. Apologising, his heart stilled when she turned around. Kate.

Kate Silver. Of all people, he had to bowl over the one person he was avoiding in a hall filled with people.

Her eyes widened and a small gasp came from her lips. “Ben.”

She was flustered seeing him and a niggle of satisfaction wormed its way along his spine. It was the first time they’d seen each other in many years.

Despite seeing the occasional photo of her on social media, he was unprepared for her beauty in real life. The simple, strapless dress showcased the subtle slope of her shoulders and her jewellery was elegant not flashy.

“Hello Kate,” he said.

“Hello Ben,” she replied, before pressing her lips together.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, each of them mulling over what to say next.

Kate got in first. “Mazal tov, you must be so happy for Lisa. You two have always been close.”

He nodded in reply. “Thank you.” He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. “I didn’t know you two were friends. She never said anything.”

A look of embarrassment crossed her eyes. “Honestly, it’s Lisa’s doing.” she said, fiddling with her stemmed glass. “I ran into her by chance a few months ago, and she’s made the effort to include me in family events, Shabbats and chagim.”

Typical of Lisa to extend invitations and kindness to everyone, even Kate.

“I’ll be living here for the next three months, so if you don’t want to see me, you’d best decline any invitations during that time.” He meant it to sound witty and light hearted, but it came across as accusatory and mean. He was not like that.

He watched her swallow with difficulty before she took a sip of champagne.

“What are you doing in New York,” she asked with interest.

“I’m helping Lisa with her community work,” he replied with a sharp tone.

Her eyes fluttered before she straightened her shoulders. “Of course, that’s what you do best.” She paused. “Helping others.”

Her kind comment was his undoing. As stupid as it was, he wanted to strike out at her, for the hurt she’d inflicted on him all those years ago.

It might have been twelve years ago, but the anger that he thought was buried deep inside of him bubbled to the surface and he just fired his frustrations at her. “Like you would know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked through narrowed eyes.

He crossed his arms. “It means some people give and some people don’t.”

“I give,” she defended herself with a toss of her hair.

“I mean of themselves, not money.”

“Not all of us are like you and your family,” she said.

“When I wanted to marry you, my family welcomed you.” His belly burned with irritation. Taking a step closer he said in a low voice, “Instead you decided that your father, who’s really only your biological dad,” he spat out the word dad, “was more important to you than me.”

Her forehead crinkled with exasperation. “We were eighteen, too young.”

“So?” he shrugged. “I wanted to spend my life with you. I wanted us to travel together, study and then settle down.”

“I wanted a career,” she said with a toss of her head.

“You could’ve had both; you didn’t want to compromise,” he added in a menacing voice.

“You don’t understand,” she said in a cool, unwavering voice.

He took a step towards her. “I do understand all too well.” He paused. “I hope that great career of yours keeps you warm at night because I never will.”

“You’re so full of yourself, Ben,” she hissed through clenched teeth.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

The skin around her jaw tightened and she clutched her glass, and he expected any minute to be wearing the wine from it.

He’d fired her up and been purposefully rude. His parents would be horrified if they knew how impolite he’d been. But for now, he didn’t care. Years ago, she’d crushed his innocent heart in her desire to escape her childhood and her mother.

It had taken him months to recover from her betrayal, making him wonder if the pain from all those years ago had held him back in settling down. Perhaps? All he knew now was that he had to get away from her.

Remorse threaded into his belly. “I’m sorry I was rude,” he said simply. “This wedding and town is big enough for us to not see each other till mid February. That’s when I return home. Let’s just say goodbye.” Have a nice life. He turned away, not waiting for her reply, and headed towards the exit, where he could enjoy a blast of cold air to cool his over-heated wound-up muscles.

* * *

Kate stood still, unable to move, watching the back of Ben as he storm away from her as though the building were being evacuated due to fire.

People swirled around her, chatting and having fun while her poor heart shattered. No one noticed or seemed to care.

Letting out a long breath that she hadn’t realised she’d been holding on to, she sighed. Even after twelve years of being apart, he was the only man to make her heart leap for joy. With his blue eyes and chiselled chin, his good looks had always attracted women. Even now she’d noticed some discreetly looking at him under mascaraed lashes as he walked away.

Unlike most of the men she associated with at work, Ben was not buff. But he was fit and strong, like he did physical labour rather than weight lifting at a gym. And despite her heels, she had to look up to him. She liked that. She also liked the short stubble that shadowed his jaw and cheek. It made him even more appealing, if that were possible.

Despite her still being attracted to him, she disliked him. How dare he fling such things at her? He knew all too well why she had to leave. Besides, they were too young to have made such a commitment. Who got married at eighteen? Not her.

He was her first boyfriend, the first boy she’d kissed and the first boy she’d fallen in love with.

But that puppy love wouldn’t have lasted. Ben may claim that his family accepted her, but she knew they’d rather their son marry someone better. She’d heard, she knew.

The only option for her to be the woman she wanted to be was to run away from her boring life in Melbourne for a chance to start again in New York. And look at what she’d achieved. With a dazzling career, she’d reached heights she never thought possible. She was happy, or so she told herself.

She blew out a long breath of frustration. She was thirty years old, not a teen. She did what she wanted. And she didn’t want to be here any longer than she had to.

Whilst Ben was family and obligated to attend the wedding, she wasn’t. In a crowd this large, it was unlikely that Lisa would notice her missing. Time to leave and go back to her empty apartment, and have a cuddle with her cat. At least he loved her.

The decision was made and a few minutes later, wrapped in her warm coat, she made her way outside and headed towards a cab rank.

She heard her name being called but ignored it, knowing it was Ben.

“Keshet,” she heard from behind her.

That stopped her. The use of her despised birth name brought her to a halt and she spun around to glare at the only person who’d dare to call her that in New York.

“It’s Kate not Keshet,” she said in a clipped tone. A lawyer whose name meant rainbow? Ridiculous. She always preferred Kate and had legally changed it before leaving Australia.

“It may be, but at least you’re talking to me,” he drawled, as though finding the situation amusing.

She crossed her arms and gave him a “I can’t believe you said that” glare with narrowed eyes.

“Why are you leaving?” he asked.

Because of you. “Because I can and you can’t.” And wasn’t that the truth.

He nodded slowly. “Fair call. But you should stay; Lisa would like that.”

“She’s not going to know.” She pointed to the large reception place. “There are hundreds of people in there. She won’t notice I’m not there.”

His face paled. “I’m sorry that I snapped at you and made you leave. I shouldn’t have done that.” She could see the remorse etched across the creases in his forehead and she knew he meant it. “Don’t go because of me.”

Clutching her coat closer, to keep the cold at bay she said, “You can’t leave but I can. It’s better this way.”

He reached out and grabbed her forearm. “No it’s not. I’m sorry.”

She noticed his eyes were pained and filled with guilt and sorrow.

“If I promise to stay on the other side of the room, will you come back inside?” He said in a tone that beckoned her to stay.

She stood straighter in her stilettos. “I think I can handle being in the same hall as you for a few hours.”

He took her gloved hand in his. “Come back inside. Lisa would hate it if she knew you left early, and she’d skin me alive if she knew of my behaviour.”

“If you don’t tell her, she won’t know,” she said in a conspiring whisper.

He chuckled. “Lisa has spent so much time organising her wedding, it has a Chanukah theme, from everything to the table decorations and the party favours.” He paused. “When she next sees you, you won’t know anything about it because you weren’t there.”

She nodded. Ben was right. Lisa may not realise she wasn’t there now, but sometime in the future she’d slip up and it would hurt Lisa.

Ben continued. “She’s left her family in Australia to live here. She’s only got a few friends and she counts you as one.”

She gasped and her tummy tumbled. “She sees me as a friend?”

It sounded silly to say it out aloud but she thought Lisa was simply being nice. Nice because that’s who she was. But a friend? Her tummy tumbled. She hadn’t been a good friend to Lisa, rarely keeping in touch despite promising to. Her long hours had been a good excuse and Lisa had always accepted them.

His brow crinkled in frustration. “Of course she does,” he snapped at her. “She met the man of her dreams and has turned her life upside down to be here.”

“B-but, she’s got Gabe and is in love?” A tiny dart of awareness prickled her. As much as she was a career gal, she would love to be romantically swept off her feet like Lisa. Gabe was a handsome, self-made millionaire, family guy. She’d hit the jackpot with him.

The skin between his brows crinkled with surprise. “Of course they’re in love. But it’s going to take time for her to settle in to living here, away from her family and friends plus with her—”

He stopped, and a look of guilt crossed his face.

“Her what?” she probed, wanting to know what he was hiding from her.

An uncompromising look replaced the guilt. “Her whirlwind romance with Gabe is the stuff in movies and books, but the reality is that she’s had to deal with things like visas and uprooting her life to be here. Gabe’s family has welcomed her, but she needs friends.” He paused. “She needs you.”

She laughed. “Lisa makes friends with everyone, everyone likes her.” She shook her head. “She doesn’t need me.”

“That’s where you are wrong. She may not need you, but you’re a school friend. How can you not think she wouldn’t want to see you?” he asked with sincerity.

Disbelief darted up and down her spine. Would Lisa really be interested in spending time with a ruthless attorney like herself? She’d want someone who’d be there for her, and she couldn’t do that with the hours she spent in the office. “I work—”

He raised his hand to stop her from speaking. “We’re standing outside and I’m freezing.” He shivered involuntarily as though to prove his point. “I apologised and asked you to come back in with me. I could’ve done the whole Jewish-mother-guilt-trip, but I didn’t.” He waggled his eye-brows in jest.

She chuckled in reply. “Not sure how good you’d look in a dress.”

But the gibe was her way of not dealing with the fact that Lisa had been there for her in high school when others hadn’t been.

It was her weakness, the reason she’d donated to Lisa’s charities over the past few months. She felt obliged, even if she wasn’t.

Ben’s brow arched. “You know I don’t need to mention about her standing up for you at school.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she brushed her hand in the air, in the direction he was standing, as though brushing away his reminder.

Kate had attended the exclusive school thanks to her grandparents and a scholarship, and despite her being yet another student, a couple of girls liked to gibe her about her stupid name, stupid mother and stupid lifestyle.

It was Lisa who had stood up to the teenage girls, got them to leave her alone and, also included her in school group activities.

From a young age, all Kate had ever wanted was to fit in and be like everyone else. She didn’t want to stand out in her mismatched thrift-shop bargains. She’d left that behind in Australia. But here in New York, she’d achieved her dream and was like everyone else. In her stilettos and sharp suits, she was far removed from the days of being ridiculed as a freak.

“I think you’re taking your bridesmaid duties too far,” she added with a twitch of her lips.

“It’s bridesman, and it’s my job.” He held out his hand and returned her smile “Come on, let’s go back inside.”

As much as she wanted to say no, he was right. He’d apologised and asked her to return to the wedding. Not doing so would be selfish and rude.

She extended her cold hand to Ben and was surprised to feel the warmth of his skin, despite her gloves. “You have a way with words, Ben. You should have been an attorney.”

“I’ll leave that to you,” he said, before they walked towards the entrance.