Chapter Eighteen
Gigi and Fitz had reached a stalemate in their relationship.
As she lay in her bed Monday morning, staring up at the ceiling in the gloomy pre-dawn light, she accepted that they would never be more than something between friends and passing acquaintances. Especially if he remained distant, speaking only of business matters.
An automobile company, indeed. Her eyes had glazed over as soon as he’d expounded on the virtues of multi-cylinder engines, which Gigi suspected had been the point.
She flipped onto her stomach and sighed. She couldn’t help but think Fitz’s reticence to share anything personal was because of her past. He might claim she was Nathanial’s victim, he might even sympathize with her plight, but that didn’t mean he saw her as a potential mate.
There’d been no talk of anything beyond friendship, no attempt at another kiss. All the proof Gigi needed that Fitz thought her unworthy of something deeper.
At least he’d agreed to let her redeem the pearls on her own. But not before he’d extracted her promise to accept his help if she failed to raise the money by the deadline Mr. Ryerson had set.
The man is a crook, he’d said with unmistakable indignation.
Fitz’s reaction had warmed Gigi to her toes. She wanted to bask in his strength. She wanted to rely on him. But Nathanial had taught her well.
Gigi trusted no man.
You trusted Fitz with the truth about Nathanial and the pearls.
And where had that gotten her?
Fitz hadn’t opened up in return. Though he’d softened toward her, there was still something he wasn’t telling her. Something, Gigi suspected, having to do with his cousin or his family or perhaps both.
Crawling out from beneath the bedcovers, she dressed quickly and went downstairs to begin her day. Once her chores were complete, she would have to get herself, and then Sophie, ready for the luncheon at Elizabeth Griffin’s.
Hours later, after she’d mended not one but two rips in the gown Sophie had worn to the ball, Gigi checked the clock on the wall and yelped. She’d lost track of time. She blamed Fitz. She couldn’t get the man out of her head.
I’d rather moon over him than attend a luncheon any day.
Gigi used to look forward to such events. Sally, however, felt scandalous spending a large part of the afternoon doing nothing but sipping tea and eating fancy sandwiches. At least she wasn’t shirking her duties at the theater. Maestro Grimaldi had called off the day’s rehearsal because Esmeralda was giving a private performance for several donors with deep pockets.
Gigi entered her room and moved to her closet, hesitating when she saw a flash of peach silk on the bed. Sophie had followed through with her threat to provide Gigi a more suitable dress for the luncheon. Picking up the gown with tentative fingers, she studied it from every angle. The dress was exquisite, the color a perfect foil for her hair in its natural state.
Why, why did Sophie have to be so persistent? Why, why did Gigi long to wear this lovely creation?
She wasn’t having it. She would wear the brown dress as planned.
She went to her closet and discovered the garment was gone. As if predicting Gigi’s reaction, Sophie had taken away her only option besides her maid’s uniform. Gigi moved aside the row of black dresses in a final, desperate attempt to search for something less pretty to wear. With profound reluctance—and resentment—she stepped back and shut the closet door.
Sophie had no right to make this decision for her. Gigi would wear her uniform. It was her only choice thanks to Sophie’s meddling.
She blinked at the peach dress, sighed heavily. Yesterday’s sermon came back to her. If forgiveness couldn’t be earned, as the pastor claimed, then she was truly lost.
Sighing again, she moved to the mirror and stared at her reflection, honing in on her two-tone hair. What an awkward picture she made. One foot in the past, one foot in the present, with no idea what lay in the future.
Who am I?
Rebellion shot through her, digging deep, taking root. She was tired of concealing her true self inside this pale, nondescript version of a woman. Gigi wasn’t clothing herself in righteousness, as she’d tried to tell herself. She was hiding.
It was time to stop living in this unhappy state of limbo.
If not now, when?
Decision made, she dug out her sewing kit, grabbed the scissors, and went to work. When she finished, she’d cut off nearly six inches of faded, dull, straw-like hair. Setting down the scissors, she studied her handiwork.
The remaining hair was thick, shiny, and red. Even better, Gigi had been able to leave just enough length to twist the strands into a modern style atop her head.
Next, Gigi changed into the dress Sophie had left on her bed and returned to the mirror. There. The woman smiling back at her was no longer Sally, but not Gigi Wentworth, either. She was a new creation and looked more herself than ever before. She was ready to step into the uncertain future.
Or else she wouldn’t be this pleased Sophie had stolen her dress. But still. “Nosy, meddlesome, pushy young woman.”
“Who do you mean, dear friend?”
Gigi whirled around. Sophie stood in the open doorway, eyebrows arched at an attractive angle, eyes twinkling with satisfaction.
“Your hair, it’s, why it’s really quite fetching.” The young woman moved toward her, hand outstretched as if she meant to touch the strands. “I knew you were pretty, but I hadn’t realized just how stunning you are until now, with your hair its proper color.”
“I’m going to try to take that as a compliment.”
“You should. It was meant as one.”
“Sophie.” Gigi took in her friend’s appearance. “You’re dressed already.”
“How observant of you.”
They shared a laugh.
“Well?” The young woman gave a slow, elegant spin. “What do you think?”
“I think that you are”—Gigi took in the green silk gown with the intricate flower embroidery on the bodice—“perfect. The dress presents just the right amount of innocence and maturity. Well done, Sophie.”
“I am rather pleased with myself.” She twirled around the room, somehow managing to miss the bed and dresser. “Though you may not believe this, especially after our discussion two evenings ago, I do listen to what you say, Gigi. I really, truly do.”
“I’m glad.”
Sophie laughed again. The sound was richer this time, full of delight and happiness. The signs were unmistakable. Sophie was infatuated with Robert Dain, possibly even in love.
Was the English doctor worthy of her?
Spinning across the threshold, Sophie halted in the darkened hallway and gave Gigi an expectant look. “Are you coming?”
Gigi hurried after her.
Outside, the sun shone bright. The air was crisp and refreshing. The town house Elizabeth shared with her husband was but a quick walk uptown.
Two blocks short of their destination, Gigi and Sophie came upon a well-dressed woman and her two teenage daughters. All three wore garments made from various shades of blue. Their beautiful, expensive overcoats were cut in a popular style.
The three halted when they saw Sophie. Clearly, they recognized her. Sophie smiled. None returned the gesture.
Proving she was Esmeralda’s daughter with a spine of steel, Sophie refused to be daunted. “Good morning, Mrs. Pembroke.” She glanced from the older woman to the two girls. “These pretty young ladies must be your daughters. I’m Sophie Cappelletti.” She made a motion with her hand. “And this is my friend—”
“Girls.” Mrs. Pembroke sniffed in disdain. “Do not respond to that woman.”
She looked down her nose at Sophie, while completely ignoring Gigi, then herded her daughters a few steps to the left, giving Sophie a ridiculously wide berth to make a point that didn’t need making. “We do not acknowledge women like her.”
Gigi bit back a nasty retort. It was difficult not to speak in Sophie’s defense. But she feared standing up for her friend would only bring more criticism.
Did Mrs. Pembroke think Sophie had no feelings? Did the woman not care that her snub caused unnecessary hurt? Gigi couldn’t help but think about what this woman was teaching her daughters, that they were somehow better than Sophie, simply because they’d been born into a proper home.
Gigi’s thoughts turned to her fellow servants in the various homes where she’d worked. They were good, hardworking men and women who earned their living by serving people like Mrs. Pembroke and her daughters.
Poor Sophie.
How long would New York society punish her for her parents’ misdeeds?
“Come away, Sophie.”
The young woman stood her ground, holding Mrs. Pembroke’s stare without flinching.
Admirable, to be sure, but Gigi knew it could not be easy. She hurt for her friend. No wonder Esmeralda was matchmaking in earnest. Once Sophie was married to a man of good standing, much of this criticism would disappear.
But some would never go away. Something Gigi should keep in mind.
The three Pembroke women stalked off.
There wasn’t much Gigi could say in the aftermath. She could, however, offer a bit of encouragement.
“Pay no attention to that woman and her hurtful words.” Casting a frown at Mrs. Pembroke’s retreating back, Gigi hooked her arm through Sophie’s, and they continued on their way. “Hold your head high, Sophie. You are worth a thousand times more than closed-minded women like that.”
“Indeed, I am.”
Gigi heard new confidence in the young woman’s voice. She glanced over at her friend. Sophie was smiling. Smiling! Broadly. As if she hadn’t a care in the world.
“Sophie? Are you not bothered by Mrs. Pembroke’s censure?”
“Not in the least.” The young woman’s smile turned into a smirk. “What a ridiculous way to behave, and in front of her daughters. Shocking, really.”
Well, yes, it had been. “I’m glad you’re not upset. You’re not upset, are you?”
“Not even a little.” Releasing a light laugh, she added, “I can’t wait to tell Robert. He’ll find the incident quite humorous, I’m sure. He dislikes New York society nearly as much as I do.”
Gigi reminded her of the months she’d been desperate to fit into this very society.
Sophie gave a heartfelt sigh. “I find in matters such as these that a poor memory works best.”
“Indeed.”
“Oh, Gigi, be happy for me. I have discovered a new perspective.” She gave another tinkling laugh. “A change in focus changes everything.”
These weren’t Sophie’s words. Gigi felt a spike of dread. “When, precisely, did your perspective change?”
“When I met Robert, of course.” She unhooked her arm from Gigi’s. “He’s very wise.”
Sophie had only met him a handful of days ago. How much wisdom could one man impart in such a limited period of time?
“Have you seen Robert recently?”
“Perhaps I have and”—she winked—“perhaps I haven’t.”
The coy answer did not sit well with Gigi. In a matter of days, a stranger had influenced Sophie in ways Gigi hadn’t been able to do in months.
She attempted to voice her concerns, but Sophie was already climbing the stairs to Elizabeth’s town house. She lifted the knocker, let it fall with a loud bang.
A man of indeterminate age, dressed in the universal butler’s uniform of black coat, black pants, and crisp white shirt, welcomed them with a sufficiently proper bow. “Good day, ladies.”
“Good day,” they said in unison.
Sophie gave him their names, then asked, “Are we the first to arrive?”
“You are the last. The others are awaiting your arrival in the parlor.” He stepped aside to let them pass.
At their confused stares, he added, “At the top of the stairs, down the hallway, second door on your right.”
As they made their way to the parlor, Gigi took a quick inventory of Elizabeth’s new home. She noted details she would have missed a year ago. The runner on the steps had a soft burgundy pattern of colorful flowers and birds. The banisters gleamed with a fresh coat of polish. The scent of lemon oil meant someone had recently cleaned the wood.
In the parlor, her eyes went to the window treatments. Burgundy draperies with gold-corded trim hung from ceiling to floor. They, too, had been cleaned recently, with pressed pleats at even intervals. The porcelain figurines on the end tables were free of dust. They were dainty and feminine, and so very Elizabeth. The stack of books and basket full of embroidery added a homey feel to the room.
Gigi turned her attention to the three women huddled together. She held back and studied them much as she had the décor.
They greeted Sophie with hugs and kisses. The warm welcome spoke of their fondness for the young woman.
Sophie’s half sister seemed the most excited to see her. The newlywed was a classic beauty, her face a perfect oval shape. She had light-brown hair, and the family resemblance with Sophie was definitely there in those remarkable amber eyes. Their mutual affection and easy manner with each other gave Gigi a sense of great relief. When she left New York, she would be leaving Sophie in capable hands.
Gigi’s gaze bounced from the siblings to Caroline and Elizabeth St. James, now Caroline Montgomery and Elizabeth Griffin. The two stood near the fireplace. Wrapped in the golden light, Caroline glowed. Elizabeth looked equally beautiful. The two women had found their place in the world.
Gigi sighed with pleasure for them.
As if hearing the sound, Elizabeth glanced over. She angled her head, blinked. Then, her eyes widened and she gave a delighted squeal. “Sally, you came.”
The woman hurried over, her cousin hard on her heels. The two made quite a stunning pair. Caroline’s dark hair posed a startling contrast to Elizabeth’s pale-blonde locks, and though one had green eyes and the other blue, they shared the same oval face and bow-shaped lips.
“Oh, Sally, I almost didn’t recognize you.” Giving her no chance to respond, Elizabeth dragged her into a quick hug.
Caroline took her turn next. Keeping her hands on Gigi’s shoulders, she stepped back and gazed at her intently. Under the close inspection, a swarm of nerves took flight in Gigi’s stomach.
“Your hair is striking,” Caroline said in her carefully cultured British accent. “That shade suits your coloring to perfection.”
Gigi fidgeted from foot to foot. She hadn’t received this much attention since running away from Boston.
“It’s not just the hair.” Elizabeth peered over her cousin’s shoulder. “Something else has changed, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. You’ve always been pretty, but there’s strength in you now. Yes, that’s just the word. You’re stronger.”
“You do seem more confident,” Caroline agreed, lowering her hands. “I declare you quite transformed.”
“I’m the same person.”
“Well, whatever has caused this lovely change, I’m glad you came today. I was just telling Caroline how much I have missed you.” Elizabeth moved in and gave Gigi another fast hug. “Welcome, my friend.”
“Thank you.”
“Come, let’s sit.” Caroline reached out, laying a hand on Gigi’s arm in an innate show of comfort. “I want to hear what you’ve been doing with yourself these past few months.”
Gigi’s heart drummed as she followed the two women to an elegant settee.
This moment felt like more than a reunion with former employers, more than a chance to catch up with friends. Gigi was a guest today, not a servant. Was this luncheon the next step to whatever awaited her in Boston? Or was the encounter with Mrs. Pembroke and her daughters a prelude of things to come?
One step at a time, she told herself, as she’d once counseled Elizabeth. No need to borrow trouble where there was none.
“Well,” Elizabeth began. “Won’t you tell us what you’ve been up to since we last met?”
Positioned between the cousins, Gigi tried to remember the last time she’d seen either woman. It had been at Elizabeth’s wedding. “I’ve been enjoying serving as Sophie’s maid.”
Both sets of eyes swept over the woman in question. “How is that going?”
Gigi glanced over to Sophie as well. She and Penelope were caught up in their own animated conversation. “She is settling into her new life as well as can be expected.”
Elizabeth let out a small push of air. “Luke will be happy to hear that. Let me take this opportunity to say thank you. We’ve been worried about her.”
Gigi wasn’t sure if she should tell Elizabeth about Robert Dain or not.
“You have guided Sophie through the labyrinth of New York society quite successfully. Many homes have opened for her, though not all, but we knew that would be the case.”
“I did nothing out of the ordinary. I am merely her maid.”
“You are more than that,” Caroline said. “I pray one day soon you will trust Elizabeth and me enough to share the truth of who you really are.”
They knew.
These women knew she was a fraud.
As she studied the compassion in each of their faces, a white-hot ball of remorse burned in her chest. She nearly jumped up and rushed out of the room.
But Elizabeth’s soft voice stole her ability to move, to think. “Whatever you are hiding, you will get no judgment from us, Sally.”
Sally. These kind women who’d taken her into their homes didn’t even know her real name. She’d told so many half-truths and lies. Too many to know how to ask for forgiveness.
But then she remembered Caroline had told her share of falsehoods. She’d come seeking revenge on the grandfather she’d thought had abandoned her and her mother, only to discover the family she’d always desired.
If Caroline could find forgiveness, could Gigi?
She locked her panic deep inside a dark place in her soul, wrapped her arms around her waist, and waged an internal battle. The fight melted out of her with every tick of her heartbeat. The need to tell these women the truth was too strong to dismiss.
If only she knew where to begin.
As if she’d been waiting for this moment, Sophie moved to a spot directly in front of Gigi. She knelt in front of her, took her hands, and squeezed them gently. “It’s time to tell them who you are.”
Gigi’s heart wobbled.
“At least tell them your real name.”
Her name. Yes, that was the place to start. She glanced from Caroline to Elizabeth and then to Penelope, a woman she hardly knew.
The soft smile she gave Gigi was identical to the one on Sophie’s face. “Your secret will be safe with me. But, if you would prefer, I will leave the room.”
Because she believed the young woman’s sincerity, Gigi insisted, “I would like you to stay.”
“Then I will stay.” Penelope moved closer, still smiling kindly.
The remaining scraps of Gigi’s resistance dissolved. “I was born Georgina Wentworth, but I have been called Gigi for as long as I can remember.”
“Gigi.” Caroline turned thoughtful. “It suits you.”
“I hail from Boston.” She gave Sophie a meaningful look.
“So you do know Mr. Fitzpatrick.”
She nodded.
Now that she’d begun, Gigi dropped the Midwestern accent she’d adopted as part of her disguise and spoke in her real voice. “Fitz and I grew up together. Our families have always been close.”
“He came for you.”
“Yes.”
“How . . . romantic.”
It was hardly that. Gigi opened her mouth to disabuse Sophie of her misconceptions when Caroline asked, “Who, precisely, is this Mr. Fitzpatrick?”
The question unleashed the rest of Gigi’s story. Once she began, she was helpless to stop the words from coming in a rush, tumbling over one another.
Gigi told them about her long-ago friendship with Fitz. “I’m not sure when everything went wrong, but he changed almost overnight. The man I had always considered a friend became a cold stranger, one my father was determined I marry.”
“Did you marry him?”
She shook her head. “I tried to express my concerns about the match, first to Fitz, then to my father. Neither man would listen.”
She cringed at the memory of her father’s refusal to bend on the matter.
“So you ran away from an arranged marriage,” Caroline decided. “This Mr. Fitzpatrick must be a truly terrible person.”
“I’ve met him. I like him.” Sophie’s cheeks colored to a becoming shade of pink when all eyes turned to her. “Not in that way. He’s been nothing but kind to me. He seems to know how to handle my mother, which says a lot about the man.”
“I’ve met him as well. He seemed quite nice,” Elizabeth said, frowning. “Luke is considering going into business with him. Is there something I should tell my husband before the contracts are signed?”
Gigi shook her head. “Fitz is the best man I know.”
As soon as she said the words, she realized they were true.
“Then why didn’t you want to marry him?” Caroline asked, her confusion evident.
Gigi explained about her friend Verity and her arranged marriage to a man of her father’s choosing. The volatile life she’d led ever since her wedding day. “I didn’t want to be trapped in a marriage like hers. With the change in Fitz, I feared we would both be unhappy.”
“So you ran away.”
“Yes. But . . .” Now came the hard part. “I didn’t run off alone.”
She held Sophie’s gaze, praying the young woman listened very closely to the next part of her story.
With very little inflection, Gigi explained how she met and fell in love with Nathanial. She left no detail out. She told of Fitz’s warnings, of her father’s threats, and of her own refusal to see reason.
“I was in love.” Again, she looked at Sophie. “Nothing and no one could persuade me to take matters slowly.”
Eyebrows drawn together, Sophie moved to a chair opposite Gigi.
Gigi continued with her story, describing their time in New York, spending wildly and denying themselves nothing until the day Nathanial left. “He sent me to the church ahead of him. He claimed he had a special wedding gift planned. He never showed up.”
Sophie gasped. “Was he hurt?” Her eyes looked large and round in her face. “Was it something truly terrible that kept him away?”
Gigi hunched in her seat. Sophie’s romantic sensibilities were so much like hers had once been. And so very much off the mark.
The horrors of that awful moment when she’d realized Nathanial was never coming played through Gigi’s mind. “He left me with nothing but a large hotel bill to pay. That was when I met you,” she said to Caroline.
“Oh, you poor, poor dear.” Caroline dragged Gigi into her arms and held her for several seconds. “To be betrayed so completely by a man you trusted. What you must have suffered. It’s quite unconscionable.”
The others agreed with various degrees of sympathy and agony on their faces.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I brought shame and misery on myself.” Barely trusting herself to speak any longer, Gigi quickly added, “Now that you know the full nature of my disgrace, I wouldn’t blame you if you thought less of me.”
“Less of you? Not at all.” Elizabeth gave one firm shake of her head. “I have nothing but admiration. Nathanial tried to break you, but you survived.”
Gigi glanced from one woman to the next, seeing the truth of their acceptance in their gazes. “You don’t think me a—”
“Now, Sally. I mean, Gigi. I just adore that name.” Elizabeth gave her a soft, affectionate smile. “Anyway, Gigi, you will receive no judgment from us. No condemnation. You were treated horribly and you made the best of a disastrous situation.”
“You are to be admired,” Penelope said, speaking for the first time. “If it were me, I don’t think I would have had the strength to carry on after what Nathanial did to you.”
Sophie nodded, her troubled thoughts whirling in her gaze.
For Sophie’s sake, Gigi admitted the truth of her life as Sally Smith. “There have been days when I haven’t done so well.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Many nights I have wrapped myself in a blanket to sit and lament over all that I have lost because of my own foolishness.”
A servant appeared in the doorway, gave a short nod at Elizabeth, then disappeared again.
Just as Caroline muttered something very unladylike about fortune hunters, Elizabeth stood and reached to Gigi. “We’ll finish this in the dining room.”
Once she was in her seat at the dining room table, Gigi took a sip of tea and eyed Sophie over the cup’s rim. The young woman was unusually quiet and thoughtful. Had she taken Gigi’s sad tale to heart?
Tired of talking about herself, Gigi turned her attention to the woman beside her. “Marriage suits you, Caroline.”
The other woman laughed, clearly delighted by the compliment. “I never expected to find such joy, not with my sordid past. But Jackson is the best thing that ever happened to me. I fall in love with him more and more every day.”
Oh, to love that completely. “It shows.”
“While we’re here among friends, Caroline”—Elizabeth smiled at her cousin—“why don’t you share your happy news.”
A delicate frown marred Caroline’s pretty face as she cast Gigi a quick glance from beneath her lashes. “Not now.”
“Please, Caroline,” Gigi urged. “Tell us your news.”
“Only if Elizabeth tells hers first.”
Wondering at the secretive smiles the cousins shared, Gigi looked from one to the other. “What’s going on with you two?”
“I’m with child. Jackson and I are going to have a baby.”
A baby. Gigi stared at her friend. A baby. Caroline and Jackson were officially starting their family.
“I’m in the same condition,” Elizabeth announced next. “Luke and I will welcome a baby boy or girl into our home nearly a year from the day we were married.”
Gigi blinked as the news settled over her, as reality gripped her heart and squeezed. Will I ever be that blessed? Will I ever have news such as this to share?
For a terrible, awful moment, she didn’t know what to say, how to feel. Happy. She was supposed to be happy for her friends. Of course she was happy for them. She’d been with them on their journey to love and rejoiced that they would soon be mothers.
Gigi found her voice. “This is marvelous news.”
Penelope reached over and squeezed her sister-in-law’s hand. “You’re going to make a wonderful mother.”
“You, too, Caroline,” Gigi added.
Happy tears sprang into everyone’s eyes.
Gigi’s filled as well, though she felt a surge of crippling jealousy. If only she hadn’t rushed matters. If only she’d trusted the Lord to guide her to the right man. If only . . .
No. She’d made her choices and must live with them, even if that meant entering her dotage as a spinster.
Gigi’s vision blurred as her eyes turned misty, and she thought she might blubber into her soup.
As if sensing her shift in mood, Caroline patted her hand. “I’m confident you’ll find a good man, one worthy of you and far better than that terrible, awful Nathanial.”
“You’re right, of course.” Gigi said the words for her friend’s benefit. But she could barely hold back her grief. One rogue tear wiggled to the edge of her lashes and slipped down the side of her face. No. No more crying. She would not give Nathanial that much power over her, not anymore. No. More.
Despite her best efforts, Gigi couldn’t hold back the tears after all. She let a few fall freely down her cheeks before swiping them away.
“Gigi?” Caroline’s worry sounded in her voice.
“I’m all right. Truly. I’m just so pleased for you both.”
Determined to make the words true, she allowed herself to get swept away in her friends’ joy. By the time dessert was served, her happiness was real.
Sophie and Penelope soon left for an appointment at an upscale department store. Caroline made her exit a few minutes later. Gigi made to leave as well.
Elizabeth stopped her with a hand to her arm. “Please, stay a bit longer. Now that I have you all to myself, I so want to enjoy our time together.”
“I’ve missed you, Elizabeth.”
“And I have missed you, so very much.” Questions swirled in her friend’s eyes. “I’d like to hear about your life in Boston, if you’ll tell me.”
Instead of putting her off, Gigi felt a moment of great relief. “I’d like to tell you about my life in Boston. I have two sisters, did you know that?”
“I always thought you were alone in the world.”
I’m not alone, Gigi realized. She never had been.
Pride had kept her separated from her family, her friends, and God. Had she been the one to move away from the Lord and not the other way around?
Determined to start anew, Gigi settled in for a good, long talk with her friend.