Chapter 16
He shouldn’t be tempting fate, and he most certainly shouldn’t be following her. Nothing but trouble would result. Trouble Jackson had no need for. He’d washed his hands of Katherine Baxton, desire for her be damned.
Yet his quiet footfalls continued to echo her steps as she foolishly ventured into the dark. Didn’t the woman have any sense? All sorts of dangers could befall her. Because he wasn’t about to let a helpless female stumble into a situation she wasn’t prepared for, he had no choice but to rescue her.
A complete coincidence his rarely used chivalry conveniently brought him closer to the one thing he craved above all else.
Kate.
Her stride shorter than his and hindered by the darkness, he easily kept pace. Undoubtedly he’d find her in the darkest of dark with all manner of obstacles in his way.
After his talk with Willie, his plan had been set. He’d do what he must to appease his father without further interaction with Kate. The power she welded over him was too strong. Curse, legend, hocus-pocus, whatever it was could go to the devil. He would control his destiny. Not some blasted tree filled with nonsense.
If that were so, then why had he arrived late to the musicale just to scout the crowd for her? He could prevaricate all he wanted, but there was no denying his gaze searched for a particular lady as he’d scanned the room. Or what caused him to exit into the gardens when he’d yet to locate a vision with dark chocolate hair and eyes that heated his blood.
The very person who currently led him further from the other guests and, most likely, his own commonsense.
As the bushes and trees thickened, Jackson knew he must stop her. She wouldn’t be injuring herself under his watch.
With two long strides, he moved close enough to breathe in the sweet scent lingering in her hair from her soap. Unwilling to startle her, lest she stumble, in one quick motion he stepped forward and encircled an arm around her waist.
She stiffened at his touch but her subdued demeanor broke when she started to fight against his hold.
“Kate, stop,” he whispered into her ear as he tightened his arm so she wouldn’t fall.
She stopped her struggle. “Jackson?”
He kept her tight to his body. “Where are you off to?”
“Away.”
Emotion, so deep his heart skipped, filled him at the single word. He’d forgotten he wasn’t the only one affected by the mysterious thread binding them together. Guilt slammed into him at how he’d pushed their acquaintance further. He’d been the one unable to stay away.
As she shifted in his arms and her heat melted into him, his body stirred. Jackson pushed aside all the reasons why he needed to leave.
Instead, all he saw . . . all he felt . . . all he knew was Kate.
Finished with resisting, he trailed soft kisses against her neck. “Take me with you.”
Her whimper set off an explosion inside of him, blowing his restraint to shreds.
He cupped her cheek and with no further encouragement, Kate turned into his embrace. In the faint moonlight, he could only make out the shine of her eyes but he needed no beacon to discover her lips with his.
The night faded as she eagerly matched his kiss, enflaming the embers she’d sparked days earlier.
He broke from their kiss. “I need you.”
Instead of shying away as an innocent lady should, she curved a hand along his neck. “I need you, too.”
The impassioned decree wove around his heart and he was lost. England might not hold his future but Kate would always own a piece of him.
“Please, Jackson.” Her soft, impatient plea undid him further.
Everything about her felt right but Jackson couldn’t disregard how, outside of this moment, the world remained unclear. “Are you sure? This can’t be undone.”
The spark constantly drawing him to her came to life at her demand of, “Jackson Cooper, if you don’t make love to me this very moment, I will box your ears.”
He chuckled. “Always my fierce sprite.”
“Just kiss me.”
~ ~ ~
When his lips returned to hers, Kate knew regret would never follow her decision. No matter what tomorrow brought, right now, in Jackson’s arms, would be the one true thing she did for herself.
His tongue swept against her lips and she mimicked the deed until she lost where she ended and he began. An intimate war ensued, where she had no care who would be victorious since each stroke of his tongue sent her body flying higher. So high, she didn’t notice the loss of his embrace as he shrugged out of his coat and spread it over the grass. Then he was lowering her onto the abandoned garment.
Familiar with the power of his touch, she encouraged his marauding fingers as they released the buttons and fastenings keeping her trapped in her gown and corset.
As he continued to undress her, he lowered his lips and caressed each inch of exposed skin he revealed. “What if it wouldn’t have been me following you?”
Consumed by passion, her answer came impulsively. “I wasn’t afraid. You will always find me.”
His mouth moved over the peak of her breast, muffling his words as his lips covered the bud. “Always, Kate. You are mine.”
The gentle tug of his teeth seemed to have a direct connection to the low ache building where he’d yet to explore. Feeling greedy, she made a demand of her own. “Remove your clothes.”
He released her breast with a choked laugh. “Bossy nymph.”
Her lips curved in a smile as her heart beat happily. Only in Jackson’s arms.
With him propped above her, Kate went to work on his cravat. Her inept wrestling with the knot spurred him into action. Soon, an expanse of smooth, solid skin beckoned her touch. Her fingers swept across his chest and over his stomach, eager to feel every contour and muscle.
The closer she got to the falls of his breeches, the more those muscles twitched. She ran a solitary finger along the line between man and fabric. A sharp hiss fell from his lips.
Bent on furthering his torment, she slid her palm lower, over the hard ridge that jerked at her touch. His hips pressed down, trapping her hand.
“You seem to be holding me hostage, sir.”
“Do you wished to be released?”
Her fingers struggled to move. “Only so I may divest you of your breeches.”
His hips lifted. “If your goal is the removal of my attire, I can probably be of some assistance.”
If not for him still hovering over her, she might have attempted to unbutton the hindering falls herself. “By all means, be my guest.”
Gracefully he pushed to his feet in one smooth gesture. The thud of his boots hitting the grass, quickly followed by the rustle of his breeches, filled Kate’s ears.
She silently cursed the darkness as it kept his bared flesh in shadow. Her first chance to view a naked man and she was being denied by circumstances.
Next time, she promised herself, the same moment she vowed there would be a next time.
Worry over how she’d orchestrate another encounter evaporated when Jackson’s body slid over hers, creating a heat threatening to burn everything in its path.
“Was this your goal, my dear?”
Without the barrier of his breeches, her fingers discovered the smoothness of his back, and lower. Does he feel like sculpted perfection everywhere? Intent on learning, she traced the strong curve of his backside, then down each leg, reveling in their muscled power.
“This will do,” she teased.
His elbows bent, bringing him a scant breath from her face. “I promise, it will more than do.” He kissed her deeper than he ever had. To the point where she forgot . . . well, everything.
With Jackson leading the way, she left the world behind and became immersed. In him. In the way he made her feel. In the person she wanted to be.
“This will hurt slightly. Just hold on to me,” Jackson whispered as his mouth worshiped her neck, coming to rest against her nipple.
She heard the words but didn’t fear the warning. Not with Jackson.
Her trust in his assurances wavered when his hips shifted and his shaft pressed between her legs, building pressure there. He wasn’t a small man, and her mother had been less than forward regarding marital relations. Could he hurt her?
Instinctively her fingers tightened their hold on his arms, ready to push him off.
When he lifted his head, she wished she could see every detail of his eyes in the dim light. “Kate, do you want me to stop?”
Did she? Was it her uncertainty about intimacy in general that caused her to hesitate? Or was it the consequences of—for once—choosing herself?
Cold darkness rushed over her when Jackson started to pull away. She grasped his shoulders. “No. Don’t go.”
He lowered, once again becoming her blanket as his hot flesh pressed against her. “You don’t seem very sure about this.”
“I need a moment.”
“For what? To convince yourself this is what you want? That I am who you want?” His voice took on a hard edge. “You are afraid you’ll be throwing away your duke for a tumble with a commoner.” It wasn’t a question as much as a statement.
She found little compassion for his obvious jealousy. Not when she laid upon the hard ground with him, both of them naked.
“Commoner? You are the son of a viscount,” she retorted. Astonishment swamped her, to think they engaged in a quarrel when a slip of his hard flesh might well end her virginal status.
His laugh rang hollow. “A title that should be written in the air for all it is worth.”
“Are we talking of your father? Or us?”
His head lowered, their eyes meeting. “I wonder why you are here, Kate. Why you defy your father. Your duty.”
A chill that had nothing to do with the elements crept through her. “Are you trying to scare me away?”
Supported by a hand next to her head, he reached for her discarded gown before tossing it across their bodies. The small act of chivalry did nothing to stem the cold settling in her.
Once again he bracketed her between his outstretched arms. “I merely refuse to be something, someone, you regret.”
Sympathy chased away her anger when she realized he wasn’t speaking in jealousy, but uncertainty. Why couldn’t the stubborn man believe them equals?
She released her hard grip on his arm, and settled her hand against his cheek. “I’m here, Jackson, because I want to be. Because, even coming into my life just days ago, something in me sprang to life. For whatever reason, I’m drawn to you. I can be myself when I’m with you.”
Despite her assurances, she felt him retreat as he queried, “What if the decision hasn’t been yours?”
Her hand slipped from his face until her palm lay over his chest and she could feel the thud of his heart. “I don’t care about the ring. I would have stolen away with you without the ring.”
This time he severed all physical contact, coming to rest on his knees, close enough to see in the moonlight but too far for her to reach. Left with only her gown, she wrapped the silk tightly around her body, attempting to repress the emptiness filling her.
“Forget the ring. In fact, you can have the damn thing back.” He shuffled for something in the darkness and pressed a cold circle of metal into her hand.
As her fingers closed around her returned property, the dam within her broke, sending pain through her limbs. Uncertain, her voice cracked as she asked, “Wh . . . What are you trying to say?”
Jackson remained immobile, peering at her, moonlight bracketing his naked frame. Right then he appeared statue-like, a breathtaking sculpture of masculine perfection. She shook her head. Now was not the time to get lost in fanciful thought.
“Jackson?”
She almost wept in relief when his hand rose, as if to reach for her and brush her cheek. At the very last moment his fist clenched and his arm dropped to his side. With it, her spirits fell to the depths of her being, igniting her outrage.
Furious, she started to speak but he interrupted with a blunt, “Do you believe in magic?”
His question flummoxed her. “I don’t understand what magic has to do with this.”
“What if I tell you it wasn’t you who’d chosen me?”
“You’re insane.” Near apoplexy, Kate struggled to dress herself. In the darkness, trying to gather shoes and slippers—and her missing corset, for pity’s sake—it was near impossible. Alert to her struggles, Jackson silently stood, pulled her to her feet and slipped her gown over her head, tugging it down none too neatly.
She shook herself free of his hands, uncaring her hair fell over her face and she stood only partially clothed.
Jackson stepped back, retrieving his own garments, dressing in haste. After tugging on his final boot, he turned to her. “We need to finish discussing this.”
“And what, exactly, are we discussing? Your rejection or your insanity?”
His hand reached, then retreated without making contact. The stymied gesture made her feel more alone than if he hadn’t moved at all. “I’m not rejecting you, Kate.”
“Feels like a rejection to me.”
Jackson eliminated the inches separating them. Somehow, his words alone caressed every inch of her. “I want you, Kate. I desire you. Crave you. I can think of nothing beyond sinking so deep into you, we cease to exist as two separate people.” His gaze swept over her face, as if memorizing every feature. “That first night, you refused to back down. You were my fierce wood nymph.”
He paused. “You still are.”
She couldn’t speak for a moment. “Then why—” She cleared her throat, her voice faint. “Then why aren’t you making love to me right now?”
“Because I fear it isn’t you who is doing the choosing.”
I cannot listen to more of this. “You are talking nonsense again.” She turned to leave.
His hand gripped her arm, stopping her. “Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“How do you plan on doing that?” Judging by his tone, if she’d been facing him, his brow would be arched halfway up his forehead.
“The usual way,” she snapped. “A carriage.”
“And how do you plan to procure a carriage? If you return to the house in your current state, you will be ruined.”
It infuriated her to know he was right. Her shift and corset still littered the ground and her hair hung around her shoulders. When she fingered the strands, she felt a snarl of tangles.
With a heavy sigh, he suggested a solution. “I’ll escort you home.”
She stood, her back to him, debating her options. She couldn’t remain here forever. And as he so annoying mentioned, she couldn’t return to the musicale and summon her sister. Her shoulders slumped in defeat.
Unable to voice the words, she accepted his offer with a shaky nod.
His movements quiet, she startled when his hand pressed her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Kate.”
A sob threated to break loose at the finality of his words. She held tight to her anger. Anything to adhere herself together until she returned home. “Please, just take me home.”
His grip tightened before he released her. “Of course.”
Heartsore, she didn’t offer to help as he silently helped her fasten her gown, then collected their remaining clothing. She smoothed her hair and skirts, then briskly rubbed her arms to infuse some heat, wishing she still wore her gloves. Fighting off shivers, she placed a hand on Jackson’s arm when he offered it, allowing him to escort her through the garden to a back gate.
As much as her body still craved his touch, she was thankful he didn’t reach for her. She didn’t think she could retain any poise whatsoever if he did.
Once on the walk, Jackson swiftly ushered her to his awaiting carriage. At their approach, the driver scrambled to his feet and held the door open so Kate could climb inside without pausing. As she sank onto the seat, her lungs expanded with a heavy sigh at escaping unseen.
Just as quickly, Jackson dropped to the seat across from her, their pile of clothes thrown next to him. As much as she wanted to look at him, meet his eyes, heartache and lingering anger kept her from doing so. Even without glancing his way, she felt his gaze on her.
If only he’d explain. She could possibly forgive him if he had a valid reason.
No words forthcoming, she focused on the moving carriage. I’ll be home soon and can forget the entire evening ever happened . . . and forget Jackson. Her heart lurched in her chest.
Yet how could she let the evening end like this? Straightening, she glanced up, meeting his deep regard. She faltered a bit at the obvious sadness shining from his eyes. Realizing he wasn’t unaffected by what had transpired gave her the strength to proceed. “Who is doing the choosing if not myself?”
He flinched at her question.
Prepared to wait him out, she studied his profile in the muted light. The steady tic of his smooth jaw proved he wasn’t as calm as he might wish to appear.
Her annoyance grew and she had almost given up on his response, when he finally spoke. “Have you ever heard the legend of the ancient tree that brings someone in need their soul mate?”
She stared at him, dumbfounded. A tree.
Undeterred, he pressed on. “Never has your grandmother or another elderly relative shared a family fairytale with you?”
Mutely, she shook her head.
“Well, my nan believed in legends, especially those with a touch of magic. Until that night in the grove, I’d always thought her a touch ‘off.’ Now I question if maybe she’d had the truth of it all along.”
Kate took a moment to process what he was telling her. Could he mean her tree? The one that had plagued her for days?
“The tree from the Mosley’s,” Kate blurted.
His blue eyes flew wide. “You saw it?”
She cringed to admit she’d seen it twice now, and not in the same place. Would he think her addled?
“Kate, you must tell me.”
She shifted on her seat, wondering how honest she should be. “I might have witnessed something unexplainable pertaining to a tree before stumbling upon you that night.” She peeked a glance at him from the corner of her eye. When he didn’t gape in horror, she continued, “And again at Lady Laura’s garden party.”
He leaned forward. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”
She wanted to laugh at the absurdity of their conversation. “Why didn’t you?”
His lips slowly curved and her body instantly relaxed at the welcoming sight. “We are quite a pair.”
With a nod, she returned his smile.
The tension in the carriage lifted until something dawned on her. Though their discussion of the tree wasn’t over, she needed to know.
“You stopped tonight because of a fairytale?”
The heat in his eyes held her captive. “Isn’t it enough? Don’t you want to know the choice you made was of your own volition?”
“Considering my entire life has been planned for me and I’ve been nothing more than a pawn in my father’s game of power, this is the singularly most selfish thing I’ve ever done.” Her voice rose as her heartbeat accelerated. “Do you know what I’m risking being with you? What my father would do if he ever found out? Soul mate or not, the tree might have brought us together but it hasn’t forced me to keep coming back.”
Heavy silence prevailed as Jackson stared at her. Unwilling to bend, she met his glare with her own.
He broke first. “You wouldn’t care if there was more at play than you and me?”
“I don’t even know what game we’re playing, so what does it matter who the players are? I only know I enjoy who I am with you.” She scooted to the end of the seat. “Even disagreeing with you gives me more pleasure than anything I’ve ever felt.”
“And what of Blackthorn? Your father?”
“Can we forget them for tonight?” she pleaded.
“They will still be there tomorrow.”
Why did he keep fighting this? “That is tomorrow. This is now. Can’t you just be with me now?”
This time there was no pause as he abandoned his seat and had her in his embrace. His kiss was fierce, leaving no dispute as to his desire for her.
The pressure of his lips lessened enough for him to whisper, “I’m always with you.”
If the carriage continued to roll through London, Kate hadn’t a clue. All she felt was Jackson. Moving over her. Holding her. Making her soar.
By the time he started to remove her clothes, she’d forgotten her own name.
She only cared he never stop.