Jade
It felt…weird when I left Zach’s this morning. He was acting all boyfriendish, and it not only irritated the hell out of me, it also made me swoon. I hate him doing it. I despise how it makes me feel. It reminds me how he can make me fall in love and be heartbroken at the same time. I know better than to give him my heart again. I know the end result.
Stepping into Max’s apartment, I’ve never been so nervous to see him. I haven’t seen him since we told him I was pregnant and have only exchanged a few text messages. Everything is out of our norm. And it sucks he’s giving me the jitters because, I mean, he’s my brother.
He appears from his room, sauntering down the hallway and cheesing like an idiot. My brother is handsome and I’m not just saying that out of blood obligation. I mean it. He’s tall and muscular, which he gets from our grandfather because Dad is definitely rocking the dad-bod. His hair is shaggy and untamed—the same way he’s worn it since I can remember. He has these dark eyes that can hide every damn thing he thinks. And it’s not fair. I wasn’t allowed to swim in that part of the gene pool. I have to focus so hard for my eyes not to give anything away that it’s almost exhausting. Having to keep Zach a secret and face him took some major training.
“I’m driving,” he calls out jingling his keys in his hand.
“Hi to you too, butthead,” I snort.
He wraps his arms around me and kisses the side of my head. “I’m glad you’re here, but I’m hungry as hell. Where do you want to go?”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “You’re really going to ask the pregnant girl that? I’ll take one of everything.”
He chuckles. “What about Penrose? You still like the place, right?”
Just its name makes me force my eyes to not roll. “Yeesssss,” I moan. “Perfect.”
After being seated and ordering our food and drinks, I grip the sides of the round table. “I’m so glad to be alive,” I overdramatically tease. “Your driving is horrendous.”
He cracks up. “Says the girl who has a wreck under her belt.”
I narrow my eyes. “A fender-bender. Not a wreck. You, on the other hand, are just plain lucky. That one car almost hit us.”
“Nah.” He dismisses with an eye roll. “I had it.”
Male macho…
“You pulled right out in front of it. Next time, I’m driving. I’m calling it now.”
The side of his mouth pulls up in one of those “you’re an idiot if you think so” smirks but says nothing as the waitress brings our drinks and says our food will be out in a few minutes.
“How’s being pregnant?” he asks over his glass.
“Some days I feel normal. Other days I’m sure I’m carrying a pissed teenager who doesn’t like what I’ve cooked.”
“How long will that last?”
“The doctor said by the second trimester I’ll be better.”
He nods and is about to say something when the waitress brings our food. We eat as I tell him about my weird cravings and my addiction to root beer at the moment. I make small talk about some of the dos and don’ts, and then slip into conversation about how Freya is the most amazing baby momma a girl could ask for.
After Max takes his last bite, he tosses his napkin to the empty plate, leans back, and rubs his bloated belly. “This is your fault. I always overeat when I come here.” He takes a sip of his drink. “Hope you’re not expecting me to do too much tonight. I’m likely not to make it off the couch. Sounds like a movie night.”
“Please tell me you didn’t invite your sister for a Netflix and chill type of night?” I tease.
Horror and disgust curls his lip. “What the hell is wrong with your twisted mind?”
I titter but quickly sober up having to mutter the words that are more than likely about to shatter his good mood. “Actually, I’m not staying with you.”
Cold betrayal slices across his narrowed eyes. “You’re staying with Zach?”
“Yeah,” I respond feeling guilty. “But it felt weird coming here and not see—”
“You’re staying with Zach?”
“Yes.”
His mouth forms a straight line and he signals to the waitress to bring the check.
“I hate this,” I sigh. “I just wish you two would talk and make up or something.”
He puffs a sinister laugh, cutting his glare at me. “Not happening. The damage is irreparable.”
“But—” I start to make a perfect argument, but he interrupts.
“Stop.”
I pout. Yep. Like a bratty teenager, and tilt my head to the side.
He leans his elbows to the table. “How would you feel if someone you considered family betrayed you? Years, Jade. For years. I trusted him. He walked you to class, spent the night at the house all the time. He came with me to all your volleyball games. I had him be your date for all types of shit.” He cranes his neck, stretching it. “And years later I find out he’s been fucking you the entire time.”
“Not the entire time,” I blab.
He looks away and scrapes his bottom lip with his teeth out of anger. “He had the nerve to look me in the eyes and act like not a damn thing was happening. Years of secrets. That friendship was fucking fake,” he ends in a low growl.
“But you’re not banishing me,” I retort.
He takes a sip of his drink before responding. “You’re my sister. No matter how disappointed I am with you, I’ll always love you.”
“You’d be a fool not to realize how much you mean to Zach. He loves you like a brother.”
There’s so much anger and pain lost in his eyes. It hurts my heart to know it’s so immense that he’s unable to hide them like normal. “He’s not my brother. His actions tell that story.”
I’m desperate and brave in this moment. “I lied to you for years too.”
He shoves to his feet, his eyes icy cold. “I know.” His tone is caustic, and it hurts to know he’s mad at me too. “Let’s go.”
His demeanor is stiff, exasperation billowing off him. It makes my body tense and my heart hurt as I follow him out of the restaurant. Normally, I lead, but today I’m doing the following as he storms out. He rips open the car door and looks over at me.
“Max, I—”
“Get in.” His eyes flare at me and the anger in them shuts me up. I do as I’m told and drop in.
He doesn’t say a word as he cranks the car…or when he takes off out of the parking lot…or while we drive through the city in a heated blast toward his apartment building, zipping past people who look like blurry smears. He continues his stand off and stalks to the elevators with me in his angry wake. The rage in the air as we ride the elevator feels too hard to breath, like some sort of thick cancerous smoke. The animosity threatens to produce tears.
He tosses his keys onto a little table and keeps on striding as we enter his place.
My feet stop when we enter the living room and I look down to the ground unsure what to even say. “I guess I’m going to go.” My throat is so tight, I squeak.
Without casting a glance to me, he points to the couch. “Sit.”
I don’t argue and do as I’m told…yet again.
“Have you told Mom and Dad yet?” he asks, his tone implying he already knows the answer.
Shamefulness drops my view to my hands in my lap.
“Thought so.” His gruff rides out in a grunt.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Start with I’m pregnant. At least it’s not a lie.”
I flick my eyes to him. “And receive the third degree on why I shouldn’t be having sex until marriage?” I twirl my finger in the air. “I’m not ready to hear Dad’s reaction.”
“His baby girl, precious Jade is having sex and has run off and gotten knocked up,” he ridicules me.
“Stop, Max.”
“This whole situation is embedded with so many lies and deceptions.” He pulls out his phone, swipes it a few times, and then drops it to the table right in front of me.
Dad lights up the display and my heart slaps my chest as the ring pierces the room.
“I’m not going to sit around while you keep them in the dark because you’re too scared to endure the consequences of what fucking can get you. Grow up already.”
I glare at him in his vindictive glory as the third ring sends my heart into panic.
“Maxwell!” Dad answers.
Nope. This is panic heartbeat.
“How are you?” Dad boasts.
“Hey, Dad. I’m good. Is Mom around too?” Nothing. His tone implies absolutely nothing. No emotion. No turmoil. No fury at his sister.
“Is everything okay?” Dad’s tone settles with more concern and I’m guessing he can hear the slight twinge of annoyance. Probably because Max is fucking gritting his fake peppy words.
“Yeah. I’ve got Jade here. We’re on speaker phone. She has something she’d like to discuss.”
“Hi, Dad,” I clench, trying to sound excited while I murder my fucking insidious brother with a glower.
“Gummie! It’s so good to hear your voice,” Dad says and then yells for Mom.
My nick name grants me an eye roll from Max. When I was a child, I’d eat an entire bag of gummy bears, to the point where I’d get sick, but I couldn’t stop. I was addicted and Dad was my enabler, bringing them almost daily.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” I hiss quietly, my body vibrating from anger.
Vindictiveness raises his brow. “Who knows when you’ll tell the truth. Better now than never,” he snaps back just as quietly.
“You’re such a fucking asshole.”
“We’re here,” Dad unknowingly interrupts the spat.
“Max? Jade? I’m so glad you called.” Mom is always cheery when she talks to us and it makes me miss her even more. “I was just telling your father how we needed to call and check in. I feel like it’s been months since I’ve gotten to talk to you. How are my babies?”
Both of us are in our twenties, yet she’s never strayed away from calling us her babies. It makes me smile and, for a second, forget the hell Max is forcing upon me.
“I’m good, Mom. How are you? Are you still in Greece?” I muster all the fake happiness I’ve got.
“Yes. You wouldn’t believe how beautiful this place is. Absolutely spellbinding. You and Max should come. We could have a family vacation together. It’s been so long since we’ve had one. It would be nice for all of us to be together. Maxy? How’s the winery? Are you okay?”
His nickname makes me puff under my breath. “You’re definitely acting like a ragging bitch right now,” I spit out.
Max’s head snaps to me.
“Honey, I can’t hear you. Speak up,” Mom says.
“I’m good, Mom. Everything is well. We called because Jade has something important to tell you.”
I’m revisited by anxiety, riding the waves of anger. There’s no getting out of this. I’m put on the spot and I hate Max right now. I wanted to tell them in a different way. I had ideas—fun, positive ideas. Like showing them the ultrasound picture first and saying they’re going to be grandparents. Or proclaiming it with a bottle of wine and a handmade label announcing it. But nope. All those sweet thoughts are up in smoke because my brother is pissed.
Max nudges me.
I jump, slightly startled. “I…um…” The line is quiet as the silence waits for me. I lock eyes with Max as I utter the words, “I’m pregnant.”
I see the pain in his eyes, registering what he’s doing before he rips them off and blinks away.
Mom gasps. Dad clears his throat. “You are?” Two words drenched in a load of disappointment. “By whom?”
That’s dad—straight to the point. All business. Next up is the chastise that will burn my ass without the hand behind it.
I swallow down my tears. Max is staring straight ahead with his jaw ticking.
“By whom, honey? Do we know this man?” Mom asks.
“Zach,” I respond almost remorsefully.
“Our Zach? As in Zachary?” Mom’s voice pierces my ears in an octave too high.
“Yes.”
The line falls quiet and I can picture my parents staring at each other, dumbfounded with anger percolating.
“Max? You okay with this?” Dad asks.
“I’m not,” Max gruffs.
“Did you know?”
“No.”
“How long have you been dating Zach behind everyone’s back, Jade?”
Then there’s that…
“We’re not dating,” I admit.
“Excuse me?” Dad snaps. “I didn’t raise you to be a—”
“Jade…” Mom interjects the roaring chastise. “Baby, how far along are you?”
“Eleven weeks.”
“Keith, I want to go home.”
“Jade…” Dad trails off, outrage vibrating his tone. “Do you realize the position you’ve put us all in? Zachary has been a constant in our lives. He’s been considered a part of this family for years. How long has this been going on?”
Tears well up and I blink to Max. Admitting it to him is one thing but having to tell my parents is an entirely different level.
Max doesn’t bother casting a glance to me. He knows I’m feeling the pain and it’s exactly what he hoped for—my payback for the hurt I caused him, even if it’s killing him.
Clearing my throat, trying to stop the scratchy burn, I try a different angle in hopes to deflect the question. “Zach’s been very involved. He’s been supportive.”
“As he should be. It’s his responsibility too. But you’ve skirted around my question, which leaves me to assume and we all know what assuming does, now don’t we?” he scolds me and suddenly I’m ten sitting on the couch with my head down, hating myself for disappointing my parents.
“Years, Dad.” Max grounds out. “Since she graduated.”
I don’t even try to smother the gasp. Tears spill over—angry and hurt tears.
Dad grunts, which is his infamous sound for when he’s too mad to speak.
“Jade, everything will be fine,” Mom tries soothing me.
“I have to go. I’ll call you soon, okay?” I slam to my feet. “I love you. Tell Dad not to be too mad at anyone and I love him too.”
I storm off and slap the call button for the elevator. Hot tears burn streaks down my cheeks. I can’t believe Max did this. I mean, when we were younger, he enjoyed telling on me for everything, but all that changed as we grew up. He was always my secret keeper, the one I could rely on if I needed something, the one I could go to for anything. I never knew Max possessed this level of assholery. Never.
“Jade!” Max calls out just as the elevator doors open and I step in.
It stops me mid-step, and being as mad as I am, I spin around. “You’re a fucking dirty bastard,” I seethe. “How dare you? You set me up to spite me. That’s so fucked up.”
“I’m angry, Jade. I’m so damn pissed with you. With him!” He crams his hand into his hair. “Both of you betrayed me. But you doing it hurts the fucking most. So forgive me, it’s because I am livid.” He ends on a roar.
“That doesn’t give you the right to lash out like a child,” I scathe, my pulse thundering in my ears. “Tattle like we’re kids. Give me a damn break, Max. Like you’re the fucking golden child.”
He crams his hands into his pockets. His face slacks, but he doesn’t lose an ounce of anger in his eyes. “My best friend and my sister played me like an idiot since high school. It’s un-fucking-shakable the amount of trust you two eroded. And because of it, I’ve lost someone who I thought was my brother. And realized my sister deceived me just as badly. I can’t even fathom the web of lies you two weaved. And I’m mad at myself for missing all the signs because I thought there was a line of loyalty.”
My fists are clenched so tightly at my side that my hands are on fire. “We kept it a secret because we give a damn about you. We’ve lived life apart because of you. We’ve hurt because of you. Felt shame because of you.” I jam my finger into his chest. “We’ve tried to do the right thing while fighting our own feelings toward one another. So fucking forgive us for trying to protect everyone.”
He swallows whatever words he was about to say.
“I’m petrified to death. I’m pregnant and have managed to disappoint everyone while shattering a friendship. So get over your fucking pity party.”
I take a step into the elevator and release the doors, allowing them to shut just in time as a sob tears from my throat.