SEBASTIAN
I don’t know if it’s my breath, or Jez’s next to me, that is hissing in my ears. But it’s definitely my own blood I can hear coursing through my veins. It’s amazing I can hear anything over the crowd but it’s right there, in my ears, racing too fast to use to keep time. The ceiling light show is fading and we’ve just run on stage with whatever light there is left. Once it’s completely dark, I count under my breath - one, two, three, four and pull my bow.
That first note is always the hardest.
The sound to break the tension, to build the excitement, to meet and raise the expectation.
While we take turns taking the lead during our performances, that wuss ass Jez will never play that first note. So no wonder it’s me pacing the greenroom before every show.
But here. Now. I’m glad that mofo doesn’t get to do this.
I wouldn’t give anything up for the feeling this gives me.
Knowing that it’s that sound, the whisper from my bow against the cello string, singing out to this crowd, who have paid, can you believe, it? PAID! To come here and listen to us, is from me.
Yeah, I brought you here. And I’m going to give you the show of your life. I make my promise to the crowd.
I break the monotony of the single note now I know I have the crowd’s attention, and break into the intro to U2’s “It’s a Beautiful Day”.
Every time I play this, I remember the day we picked it. It was after our first paid gig in a tiny pub in Edinburgh and after a long night drinking our pitiful pay, we stepped out onto the empty streets feeling on top of the world. We ran all the way back to our backpacker’s motel singing “It’s A Beautiful Day” at the top of our lungs and during our rehearsal the next day, we arranged it into our now trademark opening.
I hear Jez and then Brad and then Marius’ instruments join mine in turn, and for a moment, I can’t help but grin at how we, the idiot boys of our class, can make such beautiful music, and even more unbelievable, do it together.
Jazz’s cello’s notes dance around mine, our instruments whispering and yelling at one another in kind, like lovers in the most tumultuous and passionate relationship. We know each other’s parts so well, we could chop and change between us without a beat. Something Dennis made us promise to stop doing just to try to trip the other up.
But today, today I’m lost in my own performance. It’s been a while since we’ve been on stage, and I’ve missed it. I close my eyes and just let me fingers do their thing. I’ve learned long ago never to interfere too much, my body knows what and how to play better than I could ever consciously tell it to. I feel the sweat start to drip from my forehead onto the flop of fringe covering my eyes.
The second chorus comes before I know it, and the lights start to fade in, focusing on me. This is usually the first time I can get a really good look at the audience. I flip my head back, and with a puff of air, blow the hair out of my eyes. I look out into the crowd. It’s a sold-out performance. I skim the tops of head and moving bodies. Until my eye catches on someone in the front row. She’s not moving. She’s standing still amongst the sea of writhing bodies. And her eyes are closed, her hand clasped like in prayer, her lips resting on the tips of her touching index fingers. She’s mesmerizing to me. A figure of peace amongst chaos.
And then the world comes falling down.
She opens her eyes and it’s her.
The girl with the perfect moon eyes.
Cadence.
***
“What the hell happened in our intro man?” Jez pushes the door open to the restroom and confronts me.
As soon as we’d left the stage for intermission, I’d run off to the little boys room to go relieve myself. And also in part because I knew this confrontation was coming.
“What do you mean?” I know exactly what he meant. But there was no way in the world I was going to be telling him.
“You missed a whole fucking section!” He throws his arms up in the air in frustration.
“It wasn’t any big deal, mate, you took over.”
“Yeah, but give me a head’s up next time.” He calms down, but is still frowning.
“What’s with the hard time, mate? We used to switch it up all the time.” Yeah, that’s right, I tell myself, deflect, Jez loves when I do that.
“Don’t fucking make it about me, Seb.” OK, maybe not. “Something happened and it freaked you out, and I want to know what.”
“It wasn’t anything! Get off my case, sheet. I’ve covered for you a hundred times.” I say before I can stop myself.
Jez stops and grabs my arm. “Hey. I’m just trying to make sure you’re OK, you don’t have to-...you know.”
I instantly feel bad and grab his hands still wrapped around my arm and squeeze. “I’m sorry, Jez. Fuck. It’s...I just saw a woma- person, I knew.”
His face relaxes and a cheeky grin starts to spread across his mouth. Ugh. I should’ve just let him continue to worry.
“Ohhh, a ‘woma-person’? I see. And does this ‘woma-person’ have a name? Or do we just know her by her measurements?” He sounds just about as gleeful as I’ve ever heard him, opening the restroom door and letting me out.
“Oh, fuck off!” I shove him on the shoulder and take off down the hallway to my dressing room. I can hear his footsteps running behind me to catch up and I run ahead, barreling through the door and pushing it closed behind me, locking it fast. I hear him slam against the locked door and curse.
“Fuck! Bastard! Let me in!”
I ignore him and collapse on the couch, flipping the switch on the light, bathing the room in total darkness. I’m craving just a moment to myself. Myself and my thoughts. I try to zone out the banging on the door, covering my head with a cushion.
The darkness allows the questions in my head to focus.
Focus on her.
She was the reason I’d missed the beat and Jez had had to jump in and take over the lead. She was the last person I’d expected to see in the crowd, it’s almost as if I’d conjured her into being just from thinking of her all afternoon.
What was she doing there?
Well, duh. She came to see the band. Then why didn’t she recognize me from the music store? Did I look that different in person? Good different? Or bad different?
She, on the other hand, didn’t look any different. Fuck, she looked so good. There in her mismatched outfit. Short, barely there black mini dress and the woolen pink cardi. She looked sweet and so fucking sexy at the same time. I didn’t know whether I wanted to take her home to meet my parents, or drag her backstage and make myself blissfully acquainted with every single inch of her body.
God, the way she looked up at me with those perfectly round eyes of hers. At one point she looked as surprised to see me as I did her.
I’d recovered after the intro, and spent the last forty-five minutes see-sawing between staring at her and trying to not look at her at the same time. She was obviously trying to do the same as I’d either catch her looking at me and she’d look away immediately or she’d turn back to me and I’d be the one to look away.
But I couldn’t look away for long.
I’d wanted to know what my music was doing to her.
And I’d wanted her to know that tonight, I was playing for her.
CADENCE
“Wowwwwww.” Sarah lets out a long satisfied sigh, and I’m almost inclined to ask her if she wants a cigarette. “That was amazing.” She leans back against her chair as everyone around us shuffles out to get a drink or stretch their legs during the intermission.
I don’t say anything.
I can’t.
Because ‘amazing’ and ‘wow’ just don’t cut it.
Calling it ‘classical mashed with rock’ is just about the biggest musical injustice I’ve heard in a long time. They’d taken iconic modern rock and pop songs, and classical pieces hundreds of years old and completely made them their own. After the epic opening, they’d pulled back on the pace and played a somber and haunting version of the Gladiator Movie theme interspersed with the cello part of Autumn from Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons”. The interweaving of the two pieces was seamless as if they’d been made to be played as one.
And then one after another, the songs had come, surprising in their range and variety. But no bigger surprise than the sheer talent of the band.
And one member in particular.
I hadn’t been able to take my eyes off Sebastian during the whole set. From that first moment we locked eyes during “It’s A Beautiful Day”, this concert became something different than any other concert ever had been, it felt like it was a concert for me. There is no reason for it other than, I guess, having had the interaction with a member of the band just hours earlier. But something, something unexplainable made me feel like, it was for me.
“Come on, I need to go use to ladies.” I stand up and grab Sarah’s arm, who protests. “Oh hush, I’ll buy you a poster or something.”
“Oh YAY! I can kiss it good night.” She springs to her feet, gathering her things. “Did you see how freakin’ hot they all were?”
“Um, no.” I hadn’t. I’d just noticed the one.
***
“Where is the bloody thing?” We open a door and step out into the darkness.
“I don’t know, that guy just pointed out here.” Sarah says, suddenly clinging to my arm a little too tightly.
“Well, it looks like a death alley.” There’s a sliver of light about fifty feet away and I consider running to it instead of just walking.
“I’ll protect you with my rolled up poster.” Sarah promises to defend me, even as she hides behind me.
“Yeah, thanks. Ok, look, if it’s not around the corner, we’ll just go back.” I say, wondering where my bravado is coming from.
We suddenly hear footsteps behind us and we start walking faster.
“Hey!” A voice calls out to us.
“Fuck! Should we run?” Sarah whispers to me.
“Hey, are you girls OK?” Another voice speaks up.
And I freeze. And turn back towards it.
“Hi, Cadence.”