CHAPTER 9
Why was Axel bringing up the past?
Although, Haley couldn’t blame him, really. He deserved a better explanation than it wasn’t you, it was me.
She pulled out the brats from where she’d rested them in the coals. “I think they’re done.” She handed them to him. “You know I don’t have family. And while I liked the idea of a family, I didn’t have a clue about how to be family. I shouldn’t have run the way I did, and I… regret it very much.”
He looked at her sharply, a mix of sadness and relief on his face, then turned to dig out the beans. Her stomach flipped as an ache settled in her midsection. She’d rehearsed this in her head a thousand times, but now that she had the opportunity to explain herself, fear sliced through her. “I thought about contacting you, but I didn’t see the point. I didn’t see a way forward for us to be together. And watching you fall in love with someone else would have hurt too much.”
She’d leave out the part about how she’d overheard Eddie pressuring Axe to get married and settle down if he wanted to take over the ranch. Or how she’d applied for and won a prestigious two-month internship at NCAR’s Severe Storm Laboratory. In her twisted twenty-two year old mind, she thought she’d been helping him.
What an idiot. All she’d done was cause them both heartache.
Axe glared at her and handed her a plate. “But you never let me have a say. I worried about you, did you know that? I was terrified something awful had happened to you. And Cissy was worried too.” He sat down in the dirt and took a bite of brat.
It would be so easy to sit next to him, but she was a coward. She retreated to the other side of the fire. He waved a fork at her. “I came looking for you, you know.”
Wait. What?
Her stomach churned and she put down her plate. “Oh Axe, why?”
“Because I loved you, you idiot. I had to know you were safe.”
Oh God, she was going to be sick. A rush of heat burned through her, and then she went cold.
“And I found you, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“’Bout a month later, when I couldn’t stand it anymore. I went and walked around your neighborhood, and I saw you coming out of the coffee shop looking… happy.” The way he said the word scorched her. Anguish and hurt and confusion. She risked a glance across the fire. His face was tight with emotion, eyes glittering in the firelight.
“I’d won an internship.”
“And you couldn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to choose me or your family.”
“You never gave me the chance,” he yelled, snapping his plate on the ground and standing.
She stood too. “How many times do you want me to say I’m sorry? I was a fucked up kid, Axe. I did the best I could. It was obvious to me that your future was here. Is here. And mine wasn’t.”
He scrubbed a hand over his stubble. “I think part of me died that day, seeing you. You looked happy. The kind of happy like when we’d been dancing or goofing off by the creek. And I thought, if you’re that happy… then…” his voice grew thick. “Well fuck me.” He put his hands on his hips and stared up at the darkening sky.
Coop’s feet propelled her straight around the fire and into his arms. A response not borne of reasoned thought but pure emotion and a desire to comfort. She buried her face against him, and his arms wrapped around her, vice-like.
Hot tears pricked her eyes, and the ache in her throat made it hard to speak. “I didn’t mean to break you. God, Axe. You were the best part of my twenties, college, everything.” She squeezed her eyes tight, but the tears leaked out. His hand came to her hair and he tugged gently, tipping her chin.
And then his mouth was on hers. Possessive, demanding, and not giving any quarter. She melted into his embrace, tongue stroking against his, pouring ten years of unresolved emotion into their kiss.
One hand stayed wound in her hair while Axe’s other hand slid down her back, a hot brand on her, and the kiss changed from sorrow and regret to unleashed desire. She pressed her hand against his shirt, feeling his muscles bunch beneath her palm. He was so solid. And so. Damned. Irresistible.
Her body felt like she’d been tossed in the fire. Every cell burned for his touch. She pressed into him, no longer caring about anything but making physical contact. He pulled away, breathing heavily and gave her a look so hot she might have come a little bit.
“Tell me to stop right now, Coop, and I will,” he rasped, voice tight.
“I want you, Axe,” she uttered, pulling herself on tiptoe and curling her hand into his shirt. Damn the consequences. There was too much feeling between them, too much everything. Maybe setting a match to it would clear the air. Let them move on. She brought his mouth to hers and nipped his lip before sliding her tongue over it. His stubble scraped her, sending a jolt of hot need straight to her clit. He growled low in his throat and swept her into his arms like she weighed nothing. Keeping his mouth on hers, he walked them to the tent and set her down, breaking the kiss only to fumble with the zipper. He bent and drew it up in a smooth motion, then snaked an arm around her waist and tumbled her into the tent.
They landed in a tangle of limbs, sleeping bags and air mattresses. The inside of the tent a dim cocoon lit only by the moon. And then his hand was at her waist, tugging on the shirt. She gasped when his work roughened fingers scraped her soft flesh. God, she’d missed this, the pressure of his body against hers, the anticipation that ratcheted her senses into high gear, the smell of sex and desire and Axel, all wrapped up in one delicious hard, hot package.
His mouth trailed down her neck. She’d always had a sensitive spot below her ear, but when his beard scraped over it, little fireworks went off behind her eyes. Her hands shook as she worked the buttons of his shirt. She wanted her mouth on those yummy muscles. Wanted to lick him straight to the little patch of hair beneath his belly button. Her pussy contracted at the thought. She’d always loved that part of him, the way he would thrust into her as she licked and teased.
At last, the last button popped free and she pushed the shirt down his arms, bringing her mouth to a defined pec. She pulled in a deep breath, letting the heat of him permeate her, then flicked her tongue out to take a taste.
Mmm.
So much better than she’d remembered. Salty and musky, and entirely Axel. Heat pooled at her clit and her hips moved against him. He shifted, rolling her to her back, and shrugging out of his shirt. His eyes gleamed in the dark with a hunger matched to her own. He watched in rapt attention as she started to undo the buttons on her shirt and let it slip off her shoulders. Their shallow breaths filled the tent.
He slipped a finger under her bra strap and pulled, letting it fall away. Her breasts grew heavy. She ached for his touch, for his mouth pulling on her nipple. If he took things any slower, she might explode. She reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, slipping it off her arms. Then she lay back and opened herself to his gaze.
He let out a long hiss. “Your tits are fucking perfect, Coop.”
She let out a half-giggle, half-sigh. “Then do something about it, cowboy.”
His mouth was on her in an instant, taking one aroused peak into his mouth and pulling on it. She cried out, thrusting her hips. This was too good. She’d waited too long. Longing and sadness mixed with desire and swirled through her. He licked and nipped from one hard bud to another, and her brain grew fuzzier with each swipe of his tongue.
“Axe, please.” She didn’t care that she was begging for his touch. She was lost in a sea of need and craving. She lifted her hips and helped him shimmy off her jeans, toeing off her shoes.
Her hands went to his fly as he pulled off his boots, then lay back on his elbows. The sound of the zipper filled the tent, and she licked her lips in anticipation. Pushing the denim open, she gave a tug and he raised his hips. She quickly pulled off his pants and brought her hand to the bulge in his boxer briefs. Damn, she’d been lucky he’d been her first. She’d had no idea how lucky, until much, much later. She’d never admit it to him, but the subsequent lovers had never quite stacked up to her first. Consequently, there hadn’t been very many.
She gave him an appreciative squeeze, thrilling at his sharp intake of breath and the way his muscles tensed. She squeezed a little more firmly and stroked up through the fabric. Axe grunted and thrust into her hand.
She stretched out next to him, still keeping up her slow rhythm on his cock, and buried her face in his neck, unable to resist another lick of the skin at his collarbone.
“Fuck, Coop.” He twisted and pinned her beneath him, his cock settling against her and thrusting through the fabric. It was almost more than she could take.
“Now, Axe,” she panted. “I want you now.”
He kissed her again, hot and open-mouthed, tongue thrusting in time with his cock. Pressure built at her clit, threatening to overwhelm her. Threading her fingers through his hair and deepening their kiss, she slipped her fingers inside his waistband and pushed hard. He got the message and lifted his hips long enough to free his cock, and then he gave a swift, hard pull, and the sound of tearing fabric filled her ears.
Oh well.
What was a pair of panties when a mind-blowing orgasm was on the line?
His cock settled at her opening, and Axe lifted his head, eyes glazed with lust. She wiggled her hips, sliding her slick heat against the head of him, rubbing the evidence of her desire over him, silently begging him to push into her.
And when he finally did… slowly… keeping his hot gaze locked on hers, she trembled, nearly at the brink. A wave of emotion so hot, so bright, crashed over her that tears slid out of her eyes.
“Don’t cry, Coop,” he whispered. “I swear it will be all right.”
She pulled his head down and kissed him again as she thrust her hips into him, taking him fully into herself. He groaned into her mouth and swirled his tongue against hers as they rocked together and she clung to him for dear life.
He stroked firmly and surely, adjusting his hips so he slid against her clit, and giving a little grind when he filled her completely.
Jesus.
He’d learned a few moves in the last ten years.
The tension built and wound through her, exploding in a burst of heart-stopping energy. She moaned into his mouth, pushing into him as she rode wave after wave of release.
He followed her over the edge thrusting once, twice, and answering her cries with his own. And dammit, another two tears leaked out.
What was wrong with her? She was never one for waterworks. But right now, she had bigger problems. She couldn’t feel her feet. Or her face, for that matter. She’d completely floated out of her body.
Axel’s caress along her cheek brought her back. “I missed you, Coop. Missed us.”
The earnestness and simplicity of his statement shot an arrow straight into her heart. She’d missed him too. But why was it so hard for her to let that admission out? She caressed his jaw, delighting in the scratch underneath her palm. “Shhhh. No more talking.” She lifted her head, kissing him and capturing his lower lip between her teeth. There was plenty of time for talking… later.