Chase
My heart is heavy as I dial her number for the hundredth time. It’s one a.m., and Kat isn’t home yet.
She had every right to storm away from me. I’m a grade-A douchebag for doing what I did; I admit that, but she won’t even hear me out. That movie is a sordid part of my past I don’t like to discuss, but it’s a part of me. I just needed to see it one last time before moving on. I wasn’t watching it to get off—I was saying goodbye.
It took me years, but I'm finally seeing clear as day. Desiree LaMonde wasn’t a blessing sent to enrich my life. She was a curse meant to destroy it. A brick tied around my ankle, heavy enough to hold me down but too light to pull my nose under the water. I stayed in that position for far too long, struggling to breathe, unable to loosen the weight keeping me tethered. Desiree was the lesson. The stepping-stone I needed to gain the strength I lacked all those years ago. Her death was written on my fate before I ever realized it.
I needed to lose her in order to find Kat.
The ringing in my ear is a cruel taunt. Just fucking answer. I’m this close to jumping in the car and checking every New York City bar looking for her when the phone clicks on the other end. “Kat?”
“Who is this?” A deep baritone and the thump of heavy bass rumbles through the earpiece. I pull the phone away, looking at the number to make sure I’ve dialed correctly.
“Who the fuck is this?”
“You called me, bro.”
My heart leaps into my throat. “No. I called my girlfriend.”
Shuffling, music, and distant voices filter through, followed by the tinkling sound of childlike laughter. “She’s my girlfriend tonight.”
My fingers ball into fists of fury, quivering in my lap. “Put her on the phone,” I grind out through clenched teeth.
“Just hang up. I wanna go.” Her voice is muffled, but I’d recognize it anywhere. It’s sweet and light, her I’ve-had-one-too-many voice. “You said you’d take me home.”
“I’ll take ya home, baby. Don’t you worry,” is the last thing I hear before the line goes dead.
A river of rage seeps into my veins like a noxious gas. The crossroad of life is constantly testing us. Some trails are paved in gold with promises of beauty that never deliver. Others are rocky and rough, full of things scary and unknown. An arduous journey that sometimes leaves you questioning. But at the end of that rugged terrain, love awaits on the other side.
The wrong choice was made. She allowed old demons to drag her down the easy path, and now I stand at the precipice, broken, bloody, and alone, my wounds festering from the inside out.
I hope it was worth it.
The front door opens and shuts with a soft click. I lift the covers over my face, trying to hide from the obnoxious rays of yellow light streaming in through my bedroom windows. These giant windows were what sold me on this house in the first place. A bedroom encased in glass, overlooking nothing but endless woods. It was beautiful and serene at a time in my life where things in my head were at their most deafening.
But today I hate them. I loathe their sunny glow and the warmth it gives. Despise the way it pushes on my back, forcing me to greet the day when all I want to do is hide in the shadows. Kat has the right idea. Pull the shades down tight and don’t let a single shaft pass into the darkened doldrums she calls her haven.
Black like the sky without stars.
Like the hair that falls past her shoulders and brushes my skin.
Like the heart seizing as her footsteps pad closer to my room.
“Chase?” The sad sound of her voice is buckshot tearing through my chest. Unable to look her in the face, I stay facing the opposite wall. “Don’t ignore me.”
“Why not? You ignored me all night.”
“I wasn’t ignoring you; I was working things out in my head. You didn’t even give me a chance.”
“Really? Is that what you call it?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
I sit up in bed, my glare deflecting hers. “Where’d you sleep, Kat?” I ask with acid sarcasm that makes her wince.
The rims of her eyes are pink and puffy, her dark irises swimming in the tears she’s holding back. “I’m sorry I’m not as perfect as your precious Desiree.” Kat spits her name through clenched teeth. I watch it roll across the floor and land on the edge of my bed in a broken heap.
“Don’t you fucking compare yourself to her! You’re nothing like her!” Testosterone-addled aggression simmers below my skin. I throw off the covers and step from my bed. “At least when she fucked other men, she got paid.”
Kat clenches her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. “Then that makes her a whore.”
My shaking fist grabs her bicep. “Get out of my house! You don’t live here anymore!”
“No, fuck that!” She wrenches her arm from my grasp and pushes against my chest. “You didn’t throw me out! I left!” The battle between Kat and her tears comes to its bitter end. They don’t just fall; they pour down on me like rain pounding hot pavement. “You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me, Chase,” she sobs, turning her back on me forever. “I’ll send Alex and Athena for my things. I can’t be around you anymore.”
She bends down and scoops Aphrodite under her arm before storming from my line of sight. My heart hammers against my ribs. It feels like any minute it’s going to burst from my chest, fly around the room, and swallow me whole.
What have I done?
Go after her, you idiot! Tell her you’re sorry! Don’t let her leave like this.
A cacophony of thoughts runs through my mind, but my feet stay rooted to the spot on the floor. I can’t do it. She gave up on us, not me. I tried everything I could to make this work, but I was powerless to stop this relationship from imploding. A blind man could have seen this coming. Kat and I are too fucked up to coexist.