Chase
Kat sits in my Jeep, crossing and uncrossing her slender legs. Every time she does, the ridiculous heel of her boot rubs against her leather pants, making a quiet creaking sound. Her dramatic lashes are tipped with glitter, and the diamond shine of her gloss makes her lips look perpetually wet. Red today, just like the shoes on her feet.
The line in front of the theater already stretches around the building. Rows of people in garish clothing, glitter, and exaggerated wigs mill about waiting to get inside. My gaze rolls to Kat as she grasps the handle on the car door. “This is a drag show.”
“Duh. I told you. Devin’s playing Hedwig.”
“Who the fuck is Hedwig?”
One sculpted eyebrow lifts along with the corner of her candy-coated mouth. “Only the greatest stage show of all time! Come on.”
She disappears through the door and reaches behind the seat for her enormous tackle box of goods. It’s made of steel, and it’s the size of a friggin’ suitcase. When I take it from her hand, I realize it’s as heavy as one, too.
The gigantic man at the door parts the velvet ropes when he sees us approach. “Miss A! What’s up, pretty Kitty?”
When he lifts a tree trunk arm, Kat slides under it. “Good to see you, Bits! This is my friend, Chase.”
“Sup, man?” Bits chucks his chin and a toothless grin in my direction as the darkened theater absorbs Kat’s petite frame.
“Good to meet ya,” I reply, following her into the lobby.
The Wellmont is a North Jersey icon. It’s been around since the nineteen twenties and still has that cool vintage vibe. However, the classic architecture isn’t what’s currently holding my interest. Kat’s tight apple ass sways from left to right as she maneuvers through the antique halls, and I have to fight the urge to bite it. The fruity fragrance of her hair mixes with the strong smell of tobacco hanging from my lips, a combination delighting me in ways that make it hard to think. It’s making it hard in general.
The tackle box swings from my white-knuckled grasp. She’s smoking fucking hot, but holy hell is she nuts. Dipping my toe in that river of insanity would be the worst thing for me at this stage of my life. I finally have my shit together. I know Jameson didn’t want to hire me. I had zero experience fixing cars, no high school diploma, and multiple felonies for possession under my belt. I’m not what you’d call a “desirable candidate” for hire. The Tates went out on a limb for me and, as long as I keep my nose clean—literally and figuratively—I’ll be okay. Which means not getting too heavily involved with Little Miss Pretty Reckless over here.
Still. That ass . . .
A skinny guy in a disco ball dress turns as we enter the room. Fractals of light beam off his torso in every direction, but the way Kat’s face lights up the moment she sees him is what I notice first. “Move over, Dorothy, the Wicked Witch, has finally arrived!” He snaps his fingers and juts out a hip, causing another short bout of innocent laughter to radiate from Kat’s chest.
“I made it. And I even brought one of my flying monkeys.” She cocks her head in my direction. “Chase, meet Dev.”
His fingers curl next to the edge of his mouth. “Watch out for this one. She’s got claws and fangs. Rawr!”
“Okay, Madame Dev-On. Sit.” Kat takes the tackle box from my hand and sets it on the table. “Let’s see if I can hide this five o’clock shadow.”
“Bitch. I waxed for this.”
Friendly quips and insults fly between them as Kat transforms Devin into a diva before my very eyes. Watching her work is something special. The makeup is her paint, his face her canvas. It’s like watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel. Or, at the very least, Bob Ross and his happy little trees. Watching it all come together, I have no doubt Kat would make it in Hollywood. She’s amazing.
Devin’s lips shimmer like his dress, bold and burgundy, as he preens at his reflection in the mirror. “You, my dear, are a tour de force. Promise you’re never, ever, ever going to leave me!”
“I make no such promises. But you’ll always be my BFF.” She kisses the air around him. “Okay. Send in my next victim!”
“So, what did you think?”
“It was good.” I’m downplaying it. The show was fucking awesome. The music kicked ass, and the storyline was engaging, but instead of focusing my attention on the dynamic woman on stage, my eyes kept wandering to the sexy little vixen next to me. The one with dark hair and almond eyes, slow dancing her way underneath my skin.
“Good? You had your mouth open the entire time. I swear, I thought I saw a fly go in at one point.” She taps her fingers on my chin with a smirk. “You’re coming to the after party, right?”
Bright stage lights glint off the glitter on her lashes as she bats her eyes at me. She sure has that look down pat. That sweet, doe-eyed gaze that probably gets her everything she wants. It works. Because even though it’s late, and I know I have to work in the morning, I agree to take her to the party anyway.
A night club is the last place I want to be right now. The pumping bass thumps in time with the screaming riot in my heart. It’s too loud to talk, too loud to think. I’ve purposely avoided places like this for the past two years. Temptations gleam like neon lights around every corner, but it's not just the booze that scares me.
Kat slips her slender hand in mine and pulls me to the dance floor. She’s already five drinks in, so her body is loose. All hips and legs, her ass swaying to the beat and brushing against me, driving me insane. She’s wild and free. Unabashed and untethered. Turning every head without even trying. It’s all too much for me to handle. The crowd, the music, the sweet smell of syrupy drinks, and the beautiful brunette losing herself in all of it.
Those past few years of my life pass before me like the strobe light flashes dancing in front of my eyes. Desiree. I watched her rot from the inside out. It wasn’t long until her demons became my demons, too. She told me she loved me, but it was a lie. She was too far gone before I even met her to feel anything but numbness. God, I loved her with everything I had, but in the end, the only thing we both loved was the high. We chased it night and day, praying for that one magical fix that would cure the pain.
It never did.
Nothing does.
Now pain is all that’s left.
She left me here to die alone, and I don’t want to live my life without her.
“I need some air,” I shout over the pounding speakers, pulling Kat’s arm off my neck. Turning my back, I bolt through the door into the deafening silence of the night.
The late air is crisp and cool but smells of decay on this run-down city street. Everywhere I look reminds me of her, of the things I did to keep us afloat while we trudged through quicksand together.
I light a smoke and breathe deep, holding the tobacco in my lungs before letting it trickle out. One day at a time. My mantra. One day, I’ll wake up without feeling for her on the other side of the bed. I won’t succumb to the twinges of panic when I remember her smile and know I’ll never see it again. Just like the needle marks on my arms, her memory will eventually fade, and I’ll be able to move on and forget she was everything to me for the short time I was able to keep her.
“You said you loved me. Is it true? Or something you always say in the heat of passion?” She looks up at me with dark eyes and dark lashes, smiling that sleepy post-sex half-smile that melts my heart.
“You’re the only girl I’ve ever said it to.”
“Will you still love me when I’m haggard and gray?”
“I will.”
“What about when I’m gone? Will you wander the streets day and night, pining for me? Your one lost love?”
“Promise.”
Memories of us roll through my mind on a constant loop, but ever since I met Kat, the voices seem quieter. Calmer. Maybe it’s the resemblance, but maybe it’s more. I don’t know, and thinking about it hurts my brain. I’m tired. So, so tired. In my head and in my heart. I don’t want to be bound to Desiree anymore. I don’t want to live with this burden every day, and let this constant ache devour me from the inside out. She never loved me back, so why does she still have such a hold on my heart?
She died. I lived. It’s time I start living.
Once my cigarette is burned down to the filter, I flick the smoldering butt to the pavement and head back toward the club in a cloud of smoke. My eyes scan the darkened room looking for a sign of Kat, but there’s none.
A giant blond wig bops near the edge of the bar. I cross the dance floor and narrow my gaze, trying to see if Kat could be nearby. “Dev! You seen Kat?”
Bar lights glint off Devin’s burgundy lips as she sucks on the straw poking out of her vodka cran. Without a word, she lifts her hand and points toward the corner. Kat’s head is lolled to the side, a curtain of black and purple hair shielding her face. In front of her, a guy nibbles on her neck while behind her, another one grinds against her ass.
Adrenaline shoots through my veins like a bullet. A red rage seeps in through my skull and trickles down through every limb, pushing me toward the triad against the wall.
“Hey!” I tear asshole number one away from Kat. “I came with that girl.”
“Doesn’t look like you’re leaving with her!”
My fist flies into the guy’s face with nary a thought. Blood splatters around my knuckles, dappling Kat’s chest in small black droplets. He grabs my sweatshirt and cocks his arm back, but I’m sober; he’s not. When I dodge his attack, he stumbles forward, knocking Kat against Asshole Two. My fingers close around her arm as the pair tumbles to the ground. With a quick jerk, I pull her against me and throw her over my shoulder.
Drunk off her ass, she hangs like dead weight while I rush through the writhing crowd and find the exit. The blast of cool night air revives her. “What are you doing?” she mumbles against my back.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I counter, throwing open the door to my Jeep. She slides off my shoulder, bright red booties clicking on the pavement. “Get in. I’m taking you home.”
“No!”
Still amped full of aggression-rattled testosterone, I’m in no mood for her shit. My hands ball as I will the rapid thrashing of my heart to slow down. “Kat. Get in the Jeep.”
“Gimme a cigarette.”
Dim yellow light shines on the golden Marlboro Light emblem from above as I pull the hard pack from the pocket of my hoodie. When she reaches for it, she wobbles on her sky-high heels and misses completely. She fucking giggles. The fact that she finds any of this remotely funny further fuels my frustration.
With an exasperated sigh, I slip two sticks between my lips, light them both, and offer her one. She takes it from my hand and brings it to her mouth, smearing her gloss with her fingertip. Mindlessly, I reach over and wipe away the crimson streak with my thumb, and to my surprise, she leans into it. Her glittery lashes flutter closed, and her lips part, blowing warm breath on my skin. The rim of her mouth is as soft as it looks. My calloused fingertips beg for more. It’s been a long time since they’ve traveled the smooth skin of a woman’s body. Way too long.
I wonder what these full lips would taste like pressed against mine. What they’d feel like following the contours of my stomach and sliding over my cock. The tiny fraction of potent man who still exists inside my hollow shell brings my hand to her collarbone, but the logical part that’s run rampant in my brain pulls it back before going any farther. Once I’ve crossed that line, I know I’ll never look back. One sample is all I’ll need then I’ll be hooked forever.
“Come on. I’ll take you home.” I drop my arm and walk around to the driver’s side door. An acid gaze bores into me while I jimmy it open and climb inside. A few short moments pass before she joins me, pursing her plump lips into a scowling pout.
Brent Smith’s gravelly baritone fills the cabin of the Jeep, permeating the silence in the air. The clean, fruity scent of her perfume lingers on my sweatshirt. I smell it rising from my chest with each deep inhale.
The factory-lined highway leads to quiet country roads. Pretty streets bordered with trees and houses, suburban families with Range Rovers and mini vans. Kat’s entire neighborhood is completely dark, her own house included.
I expect her to bolt from the car when I stop, but instead, she comes toward me. “Whoa, whoa . . .” I raise my hands up between us.
A nervous giggle slips off her tongue. “Don’t you want me?”
“Look, Kat. I like you a lot, but you and me?” I volley a finger between us. “It’s not going to happen.” No matter how much my body screams at me.
“Oh, my God.” Her giggle turns into full-blown hysterics. She’s laughing and crying, too annihilated to choose a proper emotion, so all of them spin around the cyclone going mad inside her dizzy head. “I’m so stupid!”
“You’re not stupid.”
“Trust me, I am.” She hiccups. “Stick around; you’ll get fed up with me like everyone else does.”
The dashboard lights accentuate the shadows silhouetting her face. Fat tears break over the dam of her monster lashes. Once again, I find myself reaching over to wipe them away for the sole purpose of feeling her silky skin. “It’s okay. Just calm down, all right?”
“Don’t tell me to calm down! You’re such an asshole!” she shouts, smacking my hand away.
Claws and fangs, indeed. “I’m an asshole? I’ve been nothing but nice to you! I brought your phone, took you to dinner, hung out with you all night . . . What do you want from me?”
“I should think that was obvious,” she seethes, fumbling through her purse. Her head drops back on the seat behind her with an infuriated sigh. “I gave you my keys. I can’t get into my house.”
“Are you serious? Or are you trying to get me to take you to my house?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not that hot.” I roll my eyes and throw the Jeep in gear, tires squealing as I pull away from the curb. “You like girls, dontcha, Chase?”
“I’m done with this conversation.”
“Oooh, I pinched a nerve! I get it now. Big bad Chase is strictly dickly!”
I yank the wheel to the right and coast onto the shoulder side of the deserted highway. Anger slithers through my veins like a cobra. I feel it throbbing in my neck and pulsing each temple, squeezing the life out of my self-control. “I fuck women, Kat. I’m just not going to fuck you,” I seethe.
Her sharp gaze softens. “Why not?”
“You’re a walking train wreck. I literally had to save you from being mauled by two dudes tonight! Trust me on this one. That gorgeous face isn’t going to be enough to carry you through life. Eventually, you’re going to have to rely on common sense.”
Her jaw goes slack. “You think I’m gorgeous?” She slides her bottom lip between her teeth, bat-winged lashes blinking away what’s left of her tantrum. Another emotion, right on cue.
“That’s what you took from that?” I throw the car back in drive. Poisonous silence fills the cab. Shit got heated, and my temper flared. I’ve always been quick to lose my cool. Getting a handle on my own cycling emotions has been a struggle for me. It’s something I work on every day. I hate this side of myself. “Listen, Kat. I’m sorry, all right? It’s late, and I’m tired. My life . . . well . . . I was messed up for a very long time, and I’m finally getting my life back together. Believe me; I would love to. I would tear that ass up—but I just can’t. Okay?”
When she doesn’t answer, I shift my gaze from the road. Kat’s head rests on her shoulder, one long purple strand hanging across her closed eyelids. Of course. The minute I find the courage to open myself up, she passes out. Typical. What am I going to do with her?