Chapter Ten
Jessica knew eventually she had to turn and face the room, but with Jake’s arms around her, she just couldn’t dredge up the desire to do it. He wants another shot. In all the scenarios she’d run—and she’d run an endless number of them—reconciling with Jake hadn’t even been in the realm of possibilities.
She still wasn’t sure it was in the realm of possibilities.
The distance was the most obvious hurdle, but not the most important one. They might have talked about what happened ten years ago, but that didn’t mean he truly forgave her.
Except… He said he had.
Am I going to take him at his word? Or am I going to keep clinging to my guilt?
Because that’s what it came down to—her guilt. She’d carried it for so long. She’d covered it up with anxiety about dealing with her former classmates, but there was only one person she’d been truly terrified to face. Jake. The only one who’d ever seen the real her. He’d seen her through thick and thin, and when things got rough, she’d left. None of these other people mattered. Not really.
There was only Jake.
He wants a second shot.
She wanted that, too. Desperately. So desperately, she was afraid to admit it aloud, for fear this would be some twisted revenge and he’d laugh in her face for thinking she was worth a damn. Stop it, Jessica Jackson. You knock that off right this second.
She lifted her head to tell him yes, to say that she thought it was crazy, but she believed they could find a way to make it work, but Jake tensed, distracting her. She twisted to see what had caught his attention. Even in the now-crowded gym, she instantly recognized the man standing next to a pretty Mexican woman. What the hell is Drew doing here? “That’s my brother.”
“Sure looks like it.”
She narrowed her eyes. She knew that woman. “That’s Leah Camacho next to my brother.” Drew hadn’t mentioned that he was coming to the reunion. He’d graduated three years ahead of her class and, sure, she and Leah had been friends once upon a time, so Leah and Drew knew each other. But their body language screamed that they knew each other—as in biblically. Oh hell no.
Leah was the reason Drew was acting so weird?
“Jessie.”
She glared at where Jake held her arm. “Let go of me. Right now.”
“Jessie, you said you wanted to make amends.”
“Who said I’m not going over there to make amends?” She was so not going over there to make amends. She wanted to know what the hell was going on with her brother and that woman. Drew hadn’t had the easiest way of things, and if Leah was taking advantage of his emotionally fragile self, Jessica would not stand for it.
Jake cleared his throat. “The expression on your face says everything I need to know, love. I know you. You walk over there now, you’re going to say something you’ll regret.”
“I seriously doubt that.” She jerked her arm out of his grasp. The crowd parted for her as she stalked toward her brother and Leah, kind of like it used to when she was in high school. A small part of her was horrified at how easily she slipped back into the queen bitch persona, but the rest of her was remembering the time Leah had put grape Kool-aid in the showers the cheerleaders used and dyed their hair purple right before the big game against their rival—whose school colors were purple and gold. Or the time Leah had made a snide comment about Jessica getting knocked up and turning into a whale after graduation. Or… She could go on and on.
She might not have been a saint in high school, but Leah Camacho was just as much to blame for this particular relationship gone sour. How had she forgotten that?
She spent the twenty-five steps between Jake and her brother convincing herself that she would be poised and in control and wouldn’t let Leah get underneath her skin. She lived in LA, for God’s sake. She had skin like granite these days. There was also the crowd to consider. People were practically falling all over themselves to create a circle around them as she slowed a stop a few feet away.
Those vultures always loved a good show. I forgot about that, too.
Looks like she’d forgotten a lot of things in the last ten years.
She wouldn’t give them what they wanted: drama. She was more in control of herself now. She would not lose it. But as soon as Jessica saw the flicker of guilt on her brother’s face, and the strange little smile on Leah’s, she lost it. “What the hell are you doing here with her?” She flung her hand in Leah’s direction.
“Jess—”
“Do not ‘Jess’ me like I’m being crazy. You knew what I wanted to do with this reunion. You know I wanted to set things right. How could you, Drew?”
“Set things right?”
She glared at Leah. “No one is talking to you. Wait your turn.” She spun back to Drew, who now had his mouth set in an unforgiving line that she knew all too well. He got that expression on his face whenever he thought she was acting too much like their mama. “Don’t you dare.”
“We came here to have a nice time. I told you I’d talk to you later, and I will. Unlike how you believe the world works, everything isn’t about you, and tonight sure as hell isn’t. Back off, Jess.” His gaze flickered over her head. “Jake.”
Leah burst out laughing. “Oh, this is too good. Jake and Jessica, together again. What happened? Did you decide that your reputation couldn’t handle showing up here alone so you called in a favor with your old boyfriend?”
“Shut up, Leah.”
She ignored Jessica, her expression turning contemplative. “It makes sense. It’s what Jake’s earned his fortune with—a company catering to lonely, desperate women with more money than friends.” She grimaced. “No offense, Jake. It’s a great business model.”
The rushing in Jessica’s ears drowned out room for any other thoughts. She’d assumed that Jake worked for Diamond Dates and it had been coincidence that he’d ended up at her date. Being in his presence again after so long had muddied her instincts, and she hadn’t held still long enough to really think about the logic behind that. But if what Leah was saying was correct…
She turned. “You own Diamond Dates.”
Instead of denying it like she desperately wanted him to, he gave a short nod. “Yeah.”
Meaning he’d seen her application. He’d read through it and probably gotten a good laugh and poor, pathetic Jessica. He decided to show up as her date, and he had seduced her into thinking that she was forgiven.
That they stood a chance.
She was such a damn fool.
Jessica took one step away from him, and then another, her issue with her brother and Leah forgotten. The crowd around them murmuring in vicious glee didn’t matter. They’d never mattered. She’d given them too much power by wanting to make things right, and this was the fruit of her labors.
Humiliation.
She shot a look at the other woman, but Leah didn’t seem any happier with the realization than Jessica was. Even though all she wanted was to run out of the gym and never look back, the Jacksons were made of sterner stuff than that. The rabble could go to hell, but if there was one person she did need to apologize to, it was Leah. She just had to open her mouth and say the words.
She drew herself up. “I’m sorry. I don’t think my brother is right for you—or that you’re right for him—but I’m sorry about being an asshole in high school.”
“I gave as good as I got.”
“Yes. You did.” There. She’d done what she needed to do. She could leave now.
Jessica turned, deftly avoided Jake reaching for her, and marched out of the gym. Whispers and laughter rose in her wake, but there was no help for it. If this whole nightmare had proven anything, it was that coming back here was a mistake. The past belonged in the past.
And she belonged in LA.
She pulled her phone out of her clutch as soon as she cleared the door.
“Jessie, wait.”
Please don’t make me do this. She kept walking, hoping Jake would take a hint, but he slid in front of her, blocking her path. “Listen to me.”
The dam she’d created to hold herself together cracked and then shattered. “I bet you had a good laugh. I hand-delivered myself to you so you could put me in my place. Your bitch ex-girlfriend broke your heart, so you decided to get back at me, make me feel a degree of the humiliation and pain you did.” She clapped mockingly. “Well, bravo. You did it.”
“That’s not how it happened.”
She wanted to believe him, but even after ten years, Jessica knew him well enough to know when he was lying. And Jake had just lied to her. She gripped her phone hard enough it dug into her palm. “Did you, or did you not, review my application and approve it?”
“Well—”
“And did you, or did you not, decide that instead of treating me like a normal client, you would personally go as my date?”
He held up his hands. “Jessie—”
“And did you or did you not, cross the line with me multiple times? Even though it was against policy. Even though you knew I was conflicted and feeling guilty and having a hard time. Even though I told you that I still had feelings for you.” Her throat tried to close, but she powered through. She had to get this out so she could leave and, this time, she would never come back to Catfish Creek. Hell, she’d leave Texas as a whole in her rearview, too. “Well, congratulations. You did it. You made me fall in love with you all over again, and you’ve successfully humiliated me the same way I humiliated you when I left. We’re even. The scales are balanced. I am done.” She slashed her hand through the air. “Unless you are about to tell me that I have it one hundred percent wrong, I don’t want to hear it.”
If anything, Jake looked just as furious as she felt. “It might have started like that, but it didn’t end that way.”
“The cat is out of the bag. You don’t have to lie to me anymore.” Her eyes burned, but she’d be damned before she cried in front of him.
“You got your turn. Now I get to talk.” He didn’t move closer, but the parking lot suddenly felt a whole lot smaller. Jake cursed. “Fuck, Jessie. I thought it’d be a little petty revenge, and that thought lasted until we got to your house, and I saw you basically curl in on yourself.”
She’d thought this couldn’t get any worse. She’d been wrong. Jessica wobbled on her stupidly high heels. “So you had sex with me out of pity. Wow. Thanks.”
“For God’s sake, stop jumping to the worst possible conclusion and listen to me. You didn’t trust me when we were eighteen. You need to trust me now.”
She shook her head and backed up. “You just got done telling me like three hours ago that I was right not to trust you then. Stands to reason that I’m right this time, too.”
“I love you, you fool woman.” He raked his fingers through his hair, making it stand on end. “I meant what I said in there. I want to make it work. We can make it work this time if you’ll just take this leap of faith with me. I forgave you for the shit you pulled. Can’t you do the same for me?”
“No.” The word fell between them, a stone into a still pool. This was the end. She hadn’t realized that all these years, she’d held out a small hope that maybe she and Jake would find their way back to each other. Now that hope was gone.
“Jessie.”
But she was already shaking her head. “No, Jake. Just…leave me alone. I can’t do this—any of this.” Not right now.
Not ever.