CHAPTER NINE
He was something else. I didn’t have words for what Kai meant to me. In the time we’d spent together, I felt more for him than I had felt for Trent—ever. What kind of person did that make me? I was with Trent for years, and I never loved him. I know it now, and if I’m honest, I knew it then, too. But he was safe, he looked after me, he got me away from my mother and for that, I would be forever grateful.
Of course, I had feelings for Trent, but not the kind I was already experiencing for Kai. It scared me how intense things between Kai and I had gotten in such a short time. But I found myself not caring. I knew he would do as he promised and help me get settled.
He made me feel safe, but he didn’t take my choices away from me the way Trent did. He always asked me what I wanted, leaving the ultimate decision to me.
I was sitting on the couch watching the twins use Kai as a jungle gym with a stupidly huge grin on my face when he looked up at me and froze. “What?” he asked, out of breath from laughing.
I shook my head. He was too good to be true. “Nothing, I just like watching the girls play.” I rubbed my teeny-tiny pot of a belly. “I wonder if Nugget is a boy or a girl.”
Kai watched me for a moment then said, “Girl. Nugget is a girl.”
Then the twins started clapping and chanting, “Nuggs, Nuggs, Nuggs!”
I looked at Kai confused. “What are they doing?”
He laughed and scooped them up under his arms and started walking out of the lounge room towards the kitchen. “They want chicken nuggets. We were talking about Nugget and they thought we were talking about food. I’ve gotta feed them now, or they won’t stop.” He laughed as he went.
I got up to follow him. He already had them in their chairs, which were clipped to the benchtop, when I got there. They sat watching him intently as he rummaged through the freezer to get their nuggets. They held their chubby little cheeks in their hands with their elbows resting on the bench. I scuffed up Gracie’s hair and whispered, “He’s a cutie, huh.”
She looked up, a big toothy grin on her face then started slapping the benchtop squealing, “Kai-Kai, Nuggs!!!”
I laughed. “Move it, Kai-Kai. The girls are hungry.” Then Tessie joined Gracie’s demand.
Kai rolled his eyes. “They’re coming! Just hold your chubby little horses!” Then Gabe came strolling into the kitchen. He pulled his satchel from his shoulder and threw it on the side table as he walked over to his girls.
I swear their delighted squeals could be heard down the street. “Dadadadadada!” He swooped down between them and pretended to eat their little hands as they grabbed for him. I looked up to see Ivy leaning against the doorway they had just come in through watching her husband and daughters interact. The love she had for them could be seen like an aura surrounding her, radiating from her very soul.
I wanted that. That feeling of belonging. That feeling that no matter where I was to go or what I was to do, as long as I had them, I would be right where I was supposed to be.
Ivy pulled me away from my inner thoughts with a small touch to my elbow. “I’ve got something for you.” She gestured to the hallway that led to the bedrooms with her chin. “Come with me for a minute.”
I followed her to her room and paused at the open door, feeling awkward about going into their personal space. Ivy grabbed a couple of books from her bookshelf. “Come in, Mia, and take a seat. I’ve got some books to show you.” I nodded and went to sit on the gorgeous velvet daybed by her bookshelf. I wish I had one of these, too. It was one of the most comfortable things I’d ever sat on.
Ivy came to sit next to me and showed me some pregnancy books that she swore would help me make sense of what was happening to my body and my hyperactive emotions. Then she gave me another book, but this one had nothing to do with pregnancy, and I looked at her puzzled. She winked and told me it would help with my uber out of control sex drive. My eyes nearly fell out of my head. That was a pregnancy thing?
Could that have been why I couldn’t stop myself from climbing into Kai’s lap earlier in the car? Was it the reason I couldn’t stop thinking about him putting his hands on me? Did I even really like him, or was I just super horny?
All these questions rolled around in my head while we ate dinner that night. Kai noticed something was off and kept casting worrisome glances my way. I tried to reassure him with a smile every time he did it, but I think it came off as more of a grimace. I was so confused.
When everyone was finished eating, I helped Ivy clear off the table while the guys went to Gabe’s office to talk about work stuff. I cleared my throat. “Ivy, is the sex drive thing really a pregnancy thing?” Her eyes sparkled when she looked back at me. “I’ll make us hot chocolates and we can talk, yeah?” I nodded. I thought it was a simple yes or no question but apparently not.
Five minutes later, Ivy and I were curled up in the lounge room with our feet tucked under our butts. “Go easy on me. I’m way out of my depth with all this pregnancy stuff.”
She grinned. “I was too. And like you, I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. I did a lot of reading, and so did Gabe. It was so hot—I couldn’t keep my hands off him when I found him reading somewhere. I mean, a man with a book in his hands is super-hot under normal circumstances but throw in horny hormones… he didn’t stand a chance.” She laughed.
“He didn’t stand a chance, or you didn’t stand a chance?” I asked, grinning.
Her happiness was contagious. “He didn’t. I was all over him like a fat kid on a triple choc cupcake. He started reading in his office or the car to try hide from me… I was that bad. He reckons he had to hide, or he wouldn’t learn anything because he was constantly in fear of me finding him, and he couldn’t absorb the information.” She flicked her hand in the air. “Fear my arse. He liked my horny hormones as much as I did.”
I burst out laughing. “Oh my god! I seriously didn’t know that being horny while pregnant was even a thing.” I sighed and looked down at my drink. “Do you think that’s why I’m attracted to Kai?”
“No, honey, I don’t. I think you know he’s a good man. I also think you know how he feels about you.”
I looked up to Ivy shocked. “How he feels about me?”
She nodded. “Yeah, sweets. I haven’t seen him like this in… well, ever.”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Really?” Ivy nodded again and returned my smile. It felt so good to have a friend I could talk to about this stuff. I think I was just as attached to Ivy as I had become to Kai. Gabe still scared me a little bit though. Who am I kidding? Gabe scared the crap out of me.
A knock sounded from the front door at the same time as it opened. A second later, a guy closer to my age poked his head around the corner and nodded at Ivy. A wicked gleam came over his face when his eyes landed on me. He straightened then strutted into the room. “Ivy my love, who’s your friend?”
Ivy grinned. “This is, Mia. She’s Kai’s friend,” she told him matter-of-factly.
His cocky demeanour vanished immediately. “For real? The douche is finally back in the game,” he shook his head as a look of disappointment clouded his cute face, “and a fine little thing he picked, too. Bastards—both of them. Always snapping up the good ones before I get there.” He huffed as though he was really put out. “Bastards,” he mumbled, shaking his head again then turned on his heels and left the room.
“What just happened?” I asked.
Ivy started cackling with laughter. “Oh My GOD! That’s Axel. He works with the boys.”
Muffled shouting came from Gabe’s office down the hall. I looked at Ivy. “Should we be worried about that?”
She shrugged. “Nah. Kai’s probably just putting Axel in his place. No doubt he made a smart-arse comment about you or your boobs.” I looked down at my chest, they had gotten bigger.
The door to the office opened. “I didn’t do anything, so I’m not apologising. Screw you, fuckers. I’m out. You can call me when you’re ready to apologise to me. I’ll be waiting.” With that, Axel smoothed his hair back and stalked down the hall, pausing to look in on us again. “Later, sexy mumma’s.” He winked and left.
“I’m so confused,” I admitted.
“Meh, you get used to it. They pick on him, he sulks, they make up, and it starts all over again,” Ivy explained and I nodded in response even though I was still confused.
Gabe and Kai walked in a minute later and took their seats either side of Ivy and I. Gabe slung his arm around Ivy’s petite shoulder, and she snuggled back into him. “What you ladies gossiping about?” Gabe asked.
“I was just telling Mia how you used to hide from me so I couldn’t ravage you while you were trying to read,” Ivy said with a sweet smile on her face. You’d think butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth she was so sweet.
Gabe glared at her. “You make it sound like I had a choice. If I didn’t hide, you’d have been on my cock twenty-four seven, and how’s a man supposed to get anything done like that?” Gabe snapped and Ivy simply shrugged in response.
Kai looked at Gabe like he’d grown a second head. “You hid from your horny woman? I can’t decide if that makes you a pussy or a prick.”
“Fuck you! Just wait, you’ll see what it’s like, and then you can have an opinion,” Gabe shot back.
I was feeling all kinds of awkward after that exchange. Kai noticed and glared at Gabe. “Nice one, arsehole.” He moved his arm behind me and began to rub my stiff neck. “Don’t listen to him, Pretty Girl. He’s a dick.”
“I’m right here, wank stain. And why’s everyone looking at me like I said something wrong? You two are going to bone. Whether it’s now or later, it’s going to happen. The way you look at each other is the same way Ivy and I used to look at one another. Accept fate, and roll with it, I say.”
I blinked at him several times before tilting my head to the side examining him. “You don’t strike me as the kind of man who believes in fate,” I said.
He shrugged. “A lot of shit had to happen for Ivy and me to finally get together. Maybe if I had just accepted it in the beginning, some of those things might not have happened.” Ivy curled into his body more and closed her eyes looking sad. He rubbed her arm to comfort her, but she was lost in memories.
“I’m sorry for whatever you went through. But I can’t imagine why you would have held back from being with her. I know I haven’t known you both for long, but Ivy is amazing. You all kinda are. You accepted me into your home, into your lives. I didn’t know people like you even existed until I met you.”
Gabe watched me as closely as I watched him. “Thank you,” he finally said. Then Ivy’s empty cup dropped from her hand to the floor. Gabe pulled her into his lap and stood. “I’m taking Ivy to bed. Goodnight.” He turned back before he left the room. “And, Kai, don’t fuck with fate.” He nodded to us and left us sitting alone in awkward silence.
I reached forward to pick up Ivy’s cup, but Kai jumped up and grabbed it before I could reach it. Then he took mine from my hands and put them on the coffee table beside him as he sat on the edge of it facing me.
He studied my face for a moment. “What do you think about what Gabe said just then, about fate?” he asked.
I swallowed hard, this moment felt important. “I believe in fate. Do you?”
He leant forward and rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands between them. His head hung low against his chest, and when he lifted it to look at me, I saw so much raw pain in his eyes it took my breath away. As I reached for him and stroked his cheek, he closed his eyes against my touch and leant into my palm. “Kai,” I whispered.
Keeping his eyes closed, he spoke, “If I believe in fate, it means that my sister was meant to be murdered, it means that Tessa was meant to be murdered, and it means that I was meant to fail them in order to find you.” He took a deep, pained breath. “I can’t believe that.”
A tear slipped from the corner of his eye and caught on the edge of my thumb. “Kai, no. I believe fate brings us to the path we were always meant to be on, despite the pain and hurt from our pasts.” I slid off the edge of the couch and crouched between his open legs. He opened his hands to let me in closer and then wrapped them around my back to hold me to his chest.
His head dropped from my palm to my shoulder as he clung to me. I smoothed my hands down his sides and wrapped them around his waist. “Fate brought you to me—in a park I had never been to—at a time in my life when I had nothing, no direction, and no hope for the future. Now, I have hope for the first time in a long time, and I have you. I’m not sure how I have you, but I’ll take whatever you’ll give me.”
I felt his body stiffen in my arms. “What do you mean? What are you trying to say, Mia?”
I pulled back an inch so I could look him in the eyes. “I’m saying that even though I don’t know how you fit into my life yet, I know I want you in it. In any way I can have you.”
A storm raged in his eyes as he searched mine, then they settled on passion and lust. “Mia, I’ve known since the day in the park that I wanted you. I didn’t know how much until right now. I don’t just want you in my bed, I want you in my life.”
His lips slammed down on mine in a savage kiss that possessed every piece of me—heart and soul. I melted against him, and he held me tighter. When he pulled back, his eyes gleamed with happiness and a little mischief. “So, the horny pregnancy thing is real, huh…” He bounced his brows, making me laugh.
I rolled my eyes. “Apparently, but I’m yet to experience it in the depths that Ivy explained it to me.”
His smirk did funny things to my insides. “Well, you know who to come to when that shit gets too hard to handle.” He winked and I rolled my eyes again. “I better get you to bed, or I’m going to fuck you in my friend’s house, and I really, really don’t want our first time to be like that.” He brushed my hair away from my face. “I’m going to make sweet love to you for hours our first time.” Then he kissed me again, only releasing me when I let out a lusty moan.