I was straightening my tie, my thoughts on Iris and how we spent last night after we left my mother and Trevor, when she stepped out of the bathroom.
My jaw dropped along with my hands. She looked fucking stunning.
Her makeup was simple: no color on her lids, just black liner and mascara, some light pink blush on her cheeks, and a slight sheen to her lips. Her brown hair was curled and brushed to one side, looking so damn soft I immediately wanted to run my fingers through it. I roughly swallowed at the thought of messing it up. Somehow I restrained myself as I took in her dress. I’d seen it already, but somehow it seemed brand new now that Iris was in it.
It was a deep forest green color to match the trees surrounding the lodge. The material clung to her chest, the top of it resembling a heart as it offered a modest amount of cleavage, and the sleeves rested halfway down her shoulder, like the dress was moments away from slipping off.
God, I wish.
But while the top half hugged her body, everything directly below her chest easily flowed. She was running her hands along the fabric when she met my gaze.
“What do you think?” Iris held out her arms, genuinely unsure of how she looked in it. Not because she was insecure, but I was pretty sure she was still having a hard time stepping into someone else’s dress, someone else’s role. I already knew from Lindsay that Iris had tried it on more times than Lindsay’s cousin ever had. And honestly the dress looked made for Iris.
I brought a hand up to my mouth, rubbing my jaw before shaking my head. “Iris, you look… my God… you…”
“Really?” she asked with a pleased grin. “That’s the look every girl aims for.”
“What? To make men stunned, stupid, and speechless?”
Her laughter floated across the room, wrapping around me and making me feel at home. Iris walked forward, picking up my tie and finishing what I’d started. “Yes. The three S’s. And not for men, but for her man.”
I stared down at her, my eyes trained on her lips, on how her smile lingered. Her joy was beautiful, infectious. And I needed to taste it.
She’d just finished, preparing to step back when I carefully grabbed her neck, hauled her to me, and crashed my lips down on hers. It wasn’t gentle or poetic, and it was probably messing up the stuff on her lips. I braced for a slap to the arm or worse—a knee to the groin—because Colleen hated when I kissed her after she’d done her makeup. But that wasn’t what happened.
Iris groaned, moving closer as her hands made their way into my hair, holding on as the kiss deepened. All other thoughts disappeared when our tongues tangled and my hand fell to her waist, bringing her closer. I could still taste the toothpaste on her breath and the faint scent of lemons drifted over me as my kisses moved across her cheek, my nose nudging her hair.
“Nick…” she whimpered.
“Hmm?” Her head was tilted back, and I moved my mouth across her jaw toward her bare neck on the other side. Iris squeezed my biceps, and I felt her legs clench below me. My hand skimmed lower—
Bang. Bang. Bang.
With a squeak, Iris jumped back. I looked at her mussed hair and raw lips, but I felt no guilt. And thankfully she didn’t look affronted by having to fix them either.
“Nick?” my ma called through the door. I shook my head and dropped my hand to adjust myself before walking toward her voice. After taking a breath, I grabbed the handle and pulled it toward me.
Trevor had his arm around my mother’s shoulders, grinning at me, while my ma squinted suspiciously. I held the door open wide, glancing back to find an empty room. Iris must have gone back to the bathroom to freshen up.
“You look beautiful, Ma,” I said sincerely as I took in her dark purple dress. It was as long as Iris’s, but the neckline was up to her collarbone and she had sleeves that ended just above her elbows.
She started fidgeting, so unaccustomed to wearing a dress. “Thank you, dear.”
“I told her that she shouldn’t be showing up the bride like this, but she insisted on wearing it,” Trevor said with a large smile, putting his hand on the small of her back. My mother blushed as she leaned back into him.
Oh, he’s good.
“Iris…” my mother breathed, eyes wide. I turned around to see my girlfriend exiting the bathroom again, and just like the first time, she nearly knocked me on my ass. She and my ma gushed over their outfits and makeup for a few minutes before Trevor asked if we were all ready to go.
I watched with a smile as he held his arm out to my mother and she eagerly took it. The door clicked shut behind the four of us, and Iris’s fingers tangled with mine.
We walked down the hallway toward the bank of elevators.
Side by side.
Hand in hand.
Moving toward something so much bigger than us.
My ma and Trevor sat in the front row beside Kevin’s parents. I was standing behind Kevin’s brother—his best man—while Iris stood opposite me next to Lindsay’s sister—her maid of honor.
I tried to keep my eyes on Kevin and Lindsay, but they invariably strayed to Iris. And every single time, like I was calling her, she looked over at me too.
“You may now exchange your vows,” the officiant said, looking at Kevin first.
He cleared his throat before beginning. “I always pretend to hate my middle name, but it’s actually one of my favorite things about myself,” he started, staring directly at Lindsay. “Do you remember the first time we spoke?”
She chuckled and the sight seemed to make Kevin fall even more in love. “Yeah, I do.”
He turned to the small audience. “I was pretty nervous. I wasn’t as suave as I am now. It took me seven pep talks to get the courage to walk up to her.” We all laughed. “I’m serious. She was intimidating as hell.”
Kevin faced her again and took a tiny step closer. “She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Still is. And when I first heard her laugh, I fell, without even knowing if there was a safe place to land. Truthfully I didn’t care.” I saw Iris’s eyes well and when I looked at Lindsay, hers were too.
“So I walked up to her, repeating what I was going to say in my head, when all of a sudden, her friend started screaming. But she was a teenage girl, so naturally she thought she was whispering. She kept saying, ‘Oh my God, he’s coming this way. Oh my God. Oh my God.’ Over and over until Lindsay looked like a tomato.” He turned toward the audience and “whispered.”
“She had a huge crush on me.” Everyone chuckled as Lindsay rolled her eyes. Then she pulled him back toward her. When he spoke next, he spoke directly to her.
“I was thrilled to hear you felt the same way, but you looked ready to bolt. So what could I do?”
She smiled, remembering. “You said, ‘You think that’s embarrassing, try having the middle name Macy,’” Lindsay finished in a deep voice meant to mock Kevin. The crowd laughed, and my gaze moved to Iris, catching her beautiful smile.
“Not my best line. But we were young so I blamed it on youth. Truthfully it didn’t matter. It could have been the worst line in the world, but it became my favorite that day. Because it got you to relax. When you laughed, I felt like I was falling all over again. First I was nervous, because as a teenager everything is the end of world. And surely you knowing my embarrassing middle name was, like, the worst thing to ever happen,” he exaggerated. “But it saved the conversation. You loosened up and we ended up hanging out after school and talking for hours.” Kevin turned completely serious, his eyes now shimmering with tears.
“It was one of the best days of my life, Linds. And it was just the beginning. All my best days include you, and I know they will for years to come. All the birthdays, anniversaries. All the childbirths and family vacations. All the fights and the dreams. I want everything you can give me.”
Lindsay was nodding, and there were tears in both their eyes. The officiant then indicated for Lindsay to give her vows.
“Kevin Macy,” she began, and everyone laughed. “The first time I truly realized how much you loved me was senior year in high school. We’d been dating for almost four years and saying the words for three, but…” She shook her head, like the memory was causing her pain. I could imagine Kevin’s pinched brow and worried frown.
“I wanted to find my birth father.” The room froze with her confession. Kevin had told me the story, but he’d made me promise to never say anything to Lindsay. I looked at Lindsay’s mom, pain and tears swimming in her eyes, as her husband drew her closer.
“You said you’d help me. You ended up finding him. And he… he didn’t want to see me. Didn’t want anything to do with me.” I expected to see sadness in her gaze, but there was only her love for Kevin.
“You lied to me and said you couldn’t find him. You cussed him out and told him you felt sorry for him, that he was missing out on the greatest girl in the world, and that he needed to stay away from me. He didn’t. I guess he felt a little bit of guilt because he found me and told me all this. He said he was sorry and that it wasn’t me, it was him.” Lindsay shook her head and looked down. When her eyes came back up, there were tears in them. But her expression made it clear they were tears of joy.
“That should’ve destroyed me, but I didn’t care. Kevin, you healed my heart before he even had a chance to break it. And that’s when I realized how deep your love for me ran. Deeper than I think I will ever know. Because that’s what love is. I think it’s what you do for the person that they’ll never be aware of. But I still feel it. I feel how much you love me, and I can’t even imagine all the things you’ve done that I haven’t been able to properly thank you for.”
She shuffled forward and finished, “You are, without a doubt, the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, where I belong. Where I’ve always belonged.”
My eyes moved to Iris as they continued with the ceremony. The promises of love and devotion. Being there in sickness and health. She had already given me all that. Where would we be in ten years? Would we still be together?
God, I hope so.
It didn’t scare me that I was having these thoughts either.
I’d never had a serious girlfriend before Colleen, so I’d often found myself wondering if she was “the one.” It seemed to make sense seeing as she was the only woman I opened myself up to. But my mind strayed, curious as to how everyone else was so certain of “the one.” There were so many other people in the world; how could you promise to feel the same way forever?
And when things ended with Colleen, the person I decided was as close to “the one” as I would get, I wondered how I’d be able to trust myself again. How could I possibly assure myself of another woman when my first instincts were so off?
But as I stood here and listened to Lindsay and Kevin say “I do,” and heard the catcalls as Kevin dipped his new wife down and kissed her, I realized the flaw in my thoughts.
All those times I wondered if she was right for me, I was giving myself an option. It required deliberation, and there were three different answers: yes, no, or maybe.
And that was how I knew this was different.
There were no options.
No deliberations.
And only one possible answer.
Yes.
We were back in our hotel room. My leg bounced as I sat on the side of the bathtub, waiting for Nick. I came into the bathroom to change and he told me to wait while he set up something in the room. My eyes drifted to the bathroom door that had started to open, Nick’s grinning face peeking through.
“All set?” I asked, dying to know what he was doing. Instead of answering, he simply walked forward and grabbed my hand, lifting me from the tub. Nick cupped my cheek and brought me forward into a kiss. Our tongues tangled as he slowly walked backward into the bedroom. I registered the soft hum of music and the faint scent of lemon.
With a grin, I pulled away and slowly opened my eyes. My gaze stayed on Nick, but I saw the flicker of candlelight throughout the room as well as the open window drapes revealing the snowfall outside. I felt all the air leave me as I glanced at the bed, where dozens of yellow rose petals lay.
Nick followed my stare. “Yeah, it’s all pretty cheesy. But…” He shrugged and turned back toward me. “I don’t really care.”
“Me neither,” I whispered. The moment felt too intimate for anything else. I felt my grin widen as I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. But unlike the last time we danced, Nick seemed eager to wind his arms around my waist and slowly sway.
“Do you remember the first time we danced?” I asked.
Nick laughed. “Of course. You were practically twerking.”
“I was not. Take that back.”
“I certainly didn’t mind.” He shifted his hand until he was grabbing my butt, his hungry gaze roaming over my body, like he’d just noticed the tiny black satin robe I was wearing. “W-what’s under there?” he croaked out.
Stepping back, I wrapped my hand around one end of the belt holding it closed. I made no other move to open the robe, and Nick growled in response.
“Take that off… before I do it for you.”
My lips curled into a saucy grin, even as my thighs clenched together. “That’s supposed to be a threat?” Without waiting for a response, I slowly pulled it open anyway, revealing the black and cream lingerie underneath.
Nick’s mouth dropped open, and his hands briefly turned into fists at his side. He stepped forward, his hands immediately going to the material up by my shoulders. I stayed frozen as he slowly pushed the robe off until it fell down my arms and pooled at my feet. Grabbing me by the waist, he turned me so my back was to the window, and carefully pushed me toward it.
I let out a yelp when my skin met the cool pane. The ledge stopped just before my butt, so the only thing any passerby would see was my bare back and the strap of my bra.
Nick grinned as he slowly knelt in front of me, his hands resting on the back of my thighs. When his fingers wandered higher, he let out a tortured groan.
I’d always been modest when it came to clothing. My skirts rarely went above the knee, my tops never showed more than a tiny bit of cleavage and my underwear often resembled that of a ten-year-old girl. I liked cute designs or little bows, and sometimes I went with more luxurious material, but I never ventured into thongs. My butt was always covered. So the fact that I was wearing cheekies felt like a big deal.
I would probably never venture into thongs, but I had severely underestimated the power of alternative underwear. Because knowing these were under my dress all day had made me feel sexy. And if the hungry look Nick was giving me was any indication, he thought so too.
“Fuck…” he murmured as his hands molded around my cheeks, squeezing and bringing me closer to his face. I braced my hands against the frame of the window as he stared up at me. His hands skimmed up to my lower back before dipping into my underwear and dragging it down my legs.
“We’re definitely keeping those,” he said, tossing them to the side. Before I could reply, before I could even think of replying, his mouth was on me. I startled when he lifted one of my legs over his shoulder. But the shock quickly left as arousal took its place. My head tipped back and I moaned as he began lightly kissing my clit.
One hand rested on my backside while the other moved toward my aching center, running through my folds. He slid two fingers inside and slowly pumped them in and out. The movement pushed me up the window and I could feel the top of my butt against the glass.
I wondered if anyone was outside. I wondered if they were watching. It was obvious what we were doing, but I didn’t know how clear of a view they would have. Regardless, I couldn’t stop the excitement running through me.
“It’s turning you on, isn’t it?” he whispered.
“W-w-what?” I said, even as I felt a blush race across my chest. His eyes darkened.
“The idea that there’s even the smallest possibility someone could see us.”
Again, he didn’t give me time to answer. Nick’s fingers sped up as his mouth put more pressure on my clit.
“N-Nick…”
My hands moved from the window and I grabbed his head, holding him to me as my orgasm ripped through me, quick and unexpected.
Everything felt like a contradiction.
The heat spreading through me against the cool of the window.
The roughness of Nick’s fingers against the tenderness of his gaze.
The scream begging to be ripped from me against the whimpers that softly fell from my lips.
Nothing with Nick was how it seemed.
As I came down from my high, I started brushing the hair back from his face. He stood up and drew me away from the window before closing the blinds. My hand in his, he led us to the bed and we stared down at the rose petals.
“I might not have thought this through.” He turned to look down at my near-naked body. “I mean, isn’t it possible for one to get caught up your…?”
I chuckled. “I love it, Nick.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course. And we can crawl under the comforter. No harm. No rose petals in inappropriate places,” I said with a grin.
He smiled. That heart-stopping, dimpled smile that never failed to make me weak in the knees. But there was also something different about. It was softer somehow, and his eyes… he almost looked like a man in love.
Before I became the stereotypical girl who got wild ideas of love just because we were at a wedding, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his.
It was the kind of kiss that brought tears to your eyes and contentment to your heart. Nick’s lips slowly moved over mine, tender and sure, like I was the last person he’d ever kiss this way.
Then we slipped under the covers and made love the exact same way.
Nick woke abruptly. I was still reading in bed when he shot straight up and his wild, panicked eyes met mine.
“What’s wrong?” I reached for his hand, and found it warm and clammy. He held it firmly as he struggled to catch his breath.
“I remembered something… about the accident.”
“That’s great.” I knelt next to him, holding one of his hands to my chest, while I started rubbing his back with the other. “What do you remember?”
“Lily…”
I felt the air in my lungs still as my grip became punishing. “What?”
“The guy… he called back to someone in the car, he called her Lily, and she was… she was screaming.” His eyes became haunted. “She sounded scared. She kept saying ‘we’re gonna lose her.’ And I remember thinking how strange that was. Dammit.” He bent forward, disconnecting us, and gripped his head.
Lily.
Lose her.
That road.
Could it be…?
Lily was Calla’s middle name, a nickname Kent called her on occasion.
No.
They wouldn’t leave him…
But they might, if it saved their child.
He would turn himself in later…
But he wouldn’t, not if it took him away from his daughter. And not after what happened to his brother.
All the questions were floating around in my mind, and yet in my heart I knew. Somehow, without any explanation, I knew what had happened that night.
Kent was the driver who ran Nick off the road.