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Ray of Life by E. L. Todd (14)

Epilogue

Ryker

“Are you nervous?” Rex leaned against the doorframe in his suit and watched me look at myself in the mirror. “Because you look nervous.”

I adjusted my tie for the twelfth time. “I’m not nervous.”

“Leave the guy alone.” Zeke sat in the chair against the desk and checked his watch. “Every guy gets nervous on his wedding day.”

“I’m not nervous,” I repeated.

“You look nervous.” Rex looked at my face in the reflection of the mirror. “You got some sweat on your forehead, you can’t tie a tie… You’re in bad shape.”

Zeke glared at him. “Would you just shut up?”

“I’m not judging,” Rex said quickly. “If I were getting married, I’d be a total wreck too.”

I turned around, giving up on the tie. “I’m not a wreck. I’m not nervous. I’m more excited to get married than she is. I can guarantee that.”

Rex grinned from ear-to-ear. “Aww, that’s sweet.”

Zeke dragged his flattened hand across his neck. “Just leave the guy alone.”

“I wonder what she looks like.” I stood with my hands in my pockets, imaging how pretty my future wife would look in her wedding dress.

Rex shrugged. “I can go check if you want.”

“No, you’re staying right here,” I said quickly. My brother just went to get me a coffee to keep me awake. We were out late last night hitting the bars in Seattle. In hindsight, it was a stupid decision to make.

The door opened, and Rae walked inside, fitted in her pink bridesmaid dress. “Ryker, can I talk to you for a minute?” For a happy occasion such as this, she seemed awfully serious. She kept the door open and nodded for the guys to walk out.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” She was such a bad liar. “Rex, Zeke, go.”

Rex straightened and dropped his arms to his sides. “Maybe we can help

“Go. Now.” She walked farther inside and pointed to the hallway.

Zeke knew she meant business, so he walked into the hallway. Rex followed a moment later.

Rae shut the door then walked up to me, looking even more nervous now that Rex and Zeke weren’t there.

Now I was terrified. “What is it, Rae?”

“It’s Austen…she’s getting cold feet.”

Fuck no. “What does that mean?”

“She’s just panicking because she’s scared right now.”

“Scared of what?” I demanded. “We’re perfect for each other. We’re made for each other. What’s there to be afraid of?” I couldn’t keep my voice down because my anger was officially in charge. I wasn’t letting her walk out on me, not when it was a mistake.

“I think it’s because of Nathan. I think all of this is making her think about that day when she bought her wedding dress…”

The second she said the words, I realized how insensitive I’d been. The thought didn’t even cross my mind. I proposed to her, planned the wedding with her, and had a great time at the rehearsal dinner. I didn’t even think of the fact she’d done most of this already—with someone who broke her heart. “Shit…”

“I know she loves you. You just need to talk to her.”

“I’m not supposed to see her.”

“Then close your eyes. She just needs some comfort right now.”

I’d been nothing but faithful to her. I hadn’t even looked at another woman. But I didn’t let myself get offended by Austen’s insecurity. I understood where all of this was coming from. I promised to love her no matter what, and I would talk her off the ledge. “Okay.”

“Come on.” Rae led me down the hall in the hotel until we reached the bridal suite. She walked inside first.

I stood at the door and waited.

“I need you to stand behind this divider,” Rae said.

“Why?” Austen spoke with a weak voice, sounding nothing like herself.

“Ryker is coming in here to talk to you. I don’t want him to see you.”

“You told him?” she snapped. “I didn’t want him to know I was feeling this way. I wasn’t going to walk out on him

“He knows that. He understands, Austen. He just wants to talk to you. Calm down, okay?”

“This isn’t how I want to remember this day…”

“Trust me, when you’re done talking to him, it’s going to be perfect. I promise. Now please stand behind the divider.”

Austen must have done it because she didn’t say anything else.

Rae came back to the door. “You’re on.” She walked down the hallway and back into my suite where I’d been getting ready.

I took a deep breath before I walked inside. The bridal suite was three times as big as mine, with brushes, combs, and large bottles of hairspray everywhere. I could smell the perfume in the air and see the pairs of shoes off to the side.

I walked inside and approached the tall white divider that had been erected so the girls could get ready in private. The light from the window hit the divider perfectly so I could see her silhouette. The dress was skintight against her waist and flared out a little around her hips. Her hair was long and in curls. A flower crown rested on her head. I could see the shadow of the petals.

I placed my hand against the material even though I couldn’t touch her. “Sweetheart, it’s me.”

She breathed deeply in response.

I listened to her shallow breaths and counted them.

“I want to marry you, Ryker. I don’t know what Rae said, but that’s never changed.”

“I know, sweetheart. And I also know what it’s like to be scared. I know what it’s like to have all these incredible feelings that force you to shut down.” Rae said three little words to me, and I ran quicker than an Olympic athlete. “I understand that you’re nervous. It’s perfectly normal.”

“Are you nervous?”

I returned my hand to my pocket and considered my response. “No, not at all.”

She sighed in disappointment.

“I’m not nervous because I know we’re supposed to be together. I know you’re the woman that I’m supposed to take care of. And I know I’m the only man you ever want to be with. Your doubts, your fears…they don’t mean anything to me. They’re temporary. They’ll fade, Austen.”

She sniffed behind the divider. “I guess…I’m scared because I love you so much. What we have is so incredible, and if I ever lost you

“Not gonna happen.”

“I know. I just…”

“I’ll never do what he did to you. I will always be right by your side, sweetheart.”

“Even if we fight?” she whispered.

“Even if we fight.”

“Even if things get rough?”

“No matter how rough it gets, I’ll always be your husband. We’ll always find our way back to each other. We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives, sweetheart. Every single day. Nothing will ever come between us.”

“How do you know that?”

All I had to do was look into that beautiful face and it would give me all the reassurance I needed. She was my best friend in the entire world. We were always honest with each other. Lies, infidelity, betrayal…none of those things would ever cross my mind. “Because we’re meant for each other.” I moved my around the divider so she could take it.

She stared at it for a moment before her small hand grabbed mine. Her engagement ring was cold against my fingers. She gripped me tightly, like this affection was exactly what she needed. She needed to feel me to know everything would be okay.

“I love you, Austen. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”

She squeezed my hand. “I love you too, Ryker. I’m sorry I

“Don’t apologize. This is how it’s going to be every single day. When you fall, I’ll pick you up. And when I fall, you’ll be there for me.”

She brought my hand to her lips and kissed it. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

I was the lucky one—by a long shot. “You ready to get married?”

“Yes.” Her breath fell across my knuckles. “More than anything.”

“Are you ready for the honeymoon?” I asked with a smile in my voice.

She chuckled. “I think I’m more excited for that than the wedding.”

“Bora Bora will be nice. It’ll just be you and me in the middle of nowhere—making love.”

“As husband and wife.”

“Exactly.” I gently pulled my hand away until it was on the other side of the divider.

“Does anyone else know about this?”

“Just you, me, and Rae.”

“Okay. I wouldn’t want your mother to start hating me.”

“She loves you, sweetheart. You know that.”

Austen sat in a chair behind the divider and crossed her legs.

I did what I set out to do. I calmed her down and made her remember why we were there. I reminded her that this was different than her first attempt, that we truly loved each other and were perfect for one another. “I’ll see you at the end of the aisle.”

“Actually, can you sit here with me for a while? We don’t have to talk. I just want to be with you…keeps me calm.”

I grabbed a chair and sat next to the divider and crossed my legs. “Anything for you, sweetheart.” I stared at her silhouette and watched her breathe deeply. Slowly, her chest began to calm. Her breathing returned to normal, and we enjoyed each other’s company.

She spoke so quietly I could barely hear her words. “I can’t wait to marry you…”

“And I can’t wait to marry you, Stone Cold.”

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