Chapter Ten
Austen
I went to the gym after work then made dinner at home. I sat in front of the TV with my laptop on my lap. I was doing work from home, but my mind kept trailing to Ryker. We hadn’t spoken since yesterday, and my body was eager for him like I was in the middle of an intense dry spell.
Which was preposterous.
Now I was getting unbelievable sex on a regular basis. I hadn’t gone out to look for a date or even checked my Tinder account. The second Ryker was my fuck buddy, my interest in other men went to zero. I tried not to be alarmed by that because the situation was understandable.
Why would I look for another man when Ryker was already perfect?
I considered texting him and asking him to come over to give it to me good, but I felt a little self-conscious doing that. What if he was out with another woman and that message popped up on his phone? I would throw him under the bus with my horniness.
Maybe we should set up some kind of code or something.
I picked up my phone to call him, but my phone started to ring instead. My instinct told me it was Ryker calling me for the exact reason I was about to call him. But when I saw a completely different name on the screen, I nearly screamed.
Nathan.
Why the hell was he calling me?
Were my eyes playing tricks on me?
No, it really did say Nathan.
What did he want?
I watched the phone ring in my hands, frozen on the spot and unsure what to do. I didn’t have to take his call. I didn’t have to do anything. But seeing his number on my screen still felt like a breach of privacy.
I was surprised he even had my number.
I’d been off Facebook ever since that horrific day when my world came crumbling down. I didn’t want to post fake bullshit and pretend I was okay. I didn’t want people to scroll through my page and search for clues that showed how screwed up my life was now that I’d been humiliated. So I didn’t have a clue where he got my number from.
Just before it went to voicemail, I picked up.
What the hell was I doing?
“I think you called the wrong number, Nathan.” I kept my voice steady, full of unwavering confidence like a wall made of solid concrete. He needed to know his name on my screen didn’t intimidate me. He needed to know that I could speak to him like he meant nothing to me—because he did mean nothing to me.
“Austen?” His deep voice was full of surprise, like he didn’t expect me to pick up.
“Yes, sir. How can I help you?” My voice remained confident but playful. It didn’t seem like he was ever my fiancé or ever anyone remotely important to me.
“Sorry, I was expecting your voicemail.”
“Would you like me to hang up so you can call back?” I asked like a smartass.
“No,” he said with an awkward chuckle. “I’m glad you answered…just caught me off guard.”
“Well, what’s up?”
He was quiet for so long it didn’t seem like he would say anything. We hadn’t had a real conversation since I found out he was sleeping with Lily. He didn’t even defend himself or explain why it happened. It wasn’t really a gruesome breakup because we just walked away from one another without looking back. So, that made this conversation even more awkward. “Can we get dinner tomorrow? I want to talk to you in person.”
I laughed because his request was absolutely absurd. “Is that a joke?”
“I know you probably don’t want to talk to me—”
“Probably? That’s not the right word, Nathan.”
“Look, I just want to apologize, Austen. Not over the phone—in person.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Nathan.”
“Of course I do…”
“No, you don’t because I haven’t thought about you in two years. If you think I’m crying over you, I’m not. I’m a happy camper.”
“Then why haven’t you had a boyfriend since we broke up?”
My words froze in my throat because I was paralyzed. The fact that he knew my weakness, knew I’d been single for so long, was just humiliating. I didn’t put up as good of a front as I hoped. “Because I love being single far too much.”
I hung up before he could say another word and stared at the screen of my phone. I covered my face as the humiliation swept through me. He knew I hadn’t been dating because people still talked about that horrific breakup. It was so embarrassing I actually wanted to cry.
“No, I’m not gonna do it.” I shook my head and took a deep breath. I’d cried enough over this man, and I wasn’t going to do it anymore. We’d been over for years, and he’d been married since. There was no reason to shed a single tear. It didn’t matter why he called. It didn’t matter what he wanted.
Nothing mattered.
I called Ryker instead and listened to the phone ring.
“Please answer…please be home…please be alone…”
He picked up after the second ring. “Hey, Stone Cold.” The flirtatiousness of his tone washed over me like an ocean breeze. It was refreshing and comforting, wrapping around me like a warm blanket.
He did so much with just his voice. “Are you busy?”
“I’m never too busy for my fuck buddy.” He always spoke with the sexiest voice, sounding like an in-demand phone sex operator. “You want me to go over there?”
“I’ll be at your place in ten minutes.” I didn’t want to stay in this apartment. When I was at his place, I felt like I was in a different universe. Nothing could remind me of Nathan over there. He wouldn’t be able to pierce an apartment that reeked of Ryker’s dominion.
“You know, I’d like to see your place eventually.”
“It’s nothing fancy.”
“But I’d like to steal a pair of panties from your drawer. You know, for another time.”
That brought a smile to my face, and he didn’t even know it. He would never understand how much I appreciated his perverted humor in that moment. I needed to be wanted. I needed a man to erase that conversation I just had with Nathan. “How about I bring a pair over?”
He was silent, but his intensity burned through the phone. “Sweetheart, you’re the woman of my dreams.”
***
I was in charge the second I walked into his apartment. I got him on the bed, his back against the headboard. He was already shirtless, so I didn’t need to waste time stripping off a t-shirt. I pulled his sweatpants and boxers down to his thighs and rode him like he was my personal cowboy.
He gripped my thighs and watched me fuck him like my life depended on it. I rubbed my clit as I gripped his waist for balance. I bounced hard and took in his length over and over, working up a sweat and making my nipples as hard as the tips of knives. “Oh god…”
“If I’m a god, you’re a goddess.” He moved his hands underneath my thighs and helped me move with him, guiding me up and down his length when my legs became fatigued. His fingers dug into my ass, gripping the muscle as he held on.
I was about to come so I rubbed my clit harder, feeling the beginning of the euphoria wash over me. My pussy tightened around his massive cock, and I felt the explosion between my legs. A fire burned white-hot, and it consumed me from the inside out. I looked into his handsome face as I gushed all over his cock, my come sheathing the condom that separated us.
His large hands groped both of my tits, and he played with them as he thrust into me from below. I kept rocking with him so he could come as hard as I did, but my legs were so weak. He only needed a few more pumps before he ignited, filling the tip of the condom deep inside me. “Fuck…” He twisted my nipples gently as he finished, his eyes lidded with intense satisfaction.
I leaned against his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. I gave him a kiss, feeling the sweat from our bodies mix together. Anytime his cock was inside me, I felt nothing but unbridled joy.
He lowered me to my back and moved on top of me, still kissing me as he went. He treasured my body with his lips, kissing me everywhere as he migrated down south. He kissed the area between my legs, his tongue exploring the most sensitive part of my body. While his touch was seductive, it was also relaxing. I writhed on the bed and enjoyed it, loving his face pressed against my entrance like that.
“How are you this good in bed…?” The words slipped out of my mouth automatically before I could stop them. When I was this high, my inhibitions were gone and I couldn’t think straight.
He crawled up my body, the shine from my juice smeared across his lips. “Takes two to tango, sweetheart.”
“But you’re really good. I’ve never been with a man who can make me come like this.”
He kissed my neck then the corner of my mouth. “You’re high on the list for me too.”
“Yeah, right,” I said with a laugh. “You’ve probably had sex with all the girls on Sports Illustrated.”
“Actually, I’ve never had sex with a girl on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Oh, wait…I forgot about Britney.”
I smacked his arm. “See?”
He chuckled then inserted one hand into my hair as he held himself on top of me. “Want to know a secret about sex?”
“Always.”
“It doesn’t matter how hot you are.”
I looked him up and down, over six feet of chiseled muscle and perfect features. The first time I looked at him, I was wet. “I think it does.”
“No, it’s all about confidence. Just live in the moment and enjoy your partner. Be passionate. Be spontaneous. If the chemistry is there, the sex will always be good. I’ve had sex with gorgeous women who were just mediocre in bed.”
“Really?”
“It’s rare, but it happens. When I have really exceptional sex, it’s not about looks. It’s about more than that, like compatibility, respect, trust, stuff like that.” He pulled my leg over his hip as we snuggled together on the top of his sheets. “And you are one of the best lays I’ve ever had.”
“Even better than Britney?” I teased.
“Much better, actually.”
“Ooh…go me.”
He chuckled against my mouth and kissed me again. “I’ll throw dinner in the oven, and we can hop in the shower. How does that sound?”
I didn’t want to go home, so that sounded perfect. “You’re going to cook for me again?”
“I can do more than just fuck, believe it or not.”
“Then I’ll take you up on that offer.”
***
We had dinner at the dining table. Ryker was shirtless, thankfully. I never wanted to eat a meal while that man was fully clothed. Why would I deprive my eyes of that joy? “This is good. Thank you.”
“No problem.” He cut into his chicken and kept eating, using gentle table manners that defied his aggressive movements toward me. “You never told me what happened between you and Jared.”
“That was because your dick was in my mouth.”
Darkness settled in his eyes as he slowly chewed his food. “You can keep sticking my cock in your mouth, but you’re going to have to answer the question eventually.”
I finished my plate clean, feeling the dinner settle in my stomach. I didn’t feel sexy after eating a meal, so I was glad we had the awesome sex beforehand. “Jared and I made out one time—that’s it.”
He pushed his empty plate away and stared me down. “Nothing else happened?”
“Nope.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Because we were both drunk and knew we would regret it in the morning.”
“Interesting. When I’m drunk, I don’t have a single logical thought.”
“It didn’t feel right either.” I remembered that night because I was devastated by what Nathan had done. I threw myself at my best friend so I could stop thinking about the crippling pain I was in. But in the end, it felt like I was kissing a cousin. “It was a stupid decision, and I’m glad it didn’t go anywhere.”
“Why did you kiss him to begin with?”
Dangerous territory. “I don’t remember. It was a long time ago.”
“Was it awkward afterward?”
Not at all. Jared knew I was a pathetic mess who had no control over what I was doing. I pretended to be strong for everyone else, that I didn’t give a damn what Nathan did to me. But Jared was the only person I couldn’t put up a front with. “No. Friendship lasts forever, right?”
He stared down at his plate, a distant look coming into his eyes. He seemed to be thinking about something else, something that had nothing to do with me. He felt his fork with his fingertips before he flicked it away on the plate.
I suspected Ryker had more problems than his father passing away. He seemed to carry a distinct sadness if he wasn’t putting up a show for company. The darkness settled into his handsome features, making him look exhausted by an invisible burden.
I wanted to ask him about it, but I knew it wasn’t my place. I hadn’t told him about my demons, my own struggles, so why should he tell me his? We were both using each other to get off and forget about our problems—nothing else.
There was only one way to break the train of his thoughts. It was the same tactic I used on myself. I left my chair and approached his. He didn’t look up at me, still thinking about past heartbreaks.
I straddled his hips and sat on his lap, my ass feeling his lack of arousal. My hands snaked around his arms, and I kissed the corner of his mouth and the scruff along his jaw, gently drawing him back to me.
Within seconds, he came back to me. His body hummed to life, and his hands snaked to my waist. He took control and kissed me on the mouth, his soft lips dominating mine. One hand moved into my hair next, touching the soft strands and gripping the back of my neck at the same time.
I loved it when he touched me like that.
His cock hardened in his sweatpants, pressing against my most sensitive area. His kiss became more intense as he fell further into the moment. He rocked his hips gently as he rubbed his hard dick against my throbbing clit.
I officially stopped thinking about Nathan.
And I knew he stopped thinking about whoever was on his mind.
***
His bed was so comfy. His mattress was luxurious, and his sheets were so soft. If this were in a showroom for a mattress store, they’d have to have security make sure no one crawled inside and took a nap.
He lay beside me with the sheets up to his waist. His bedside lamp was on, but that was the only light in the bedroom. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling, one hand resting on his chiseled stomach.
Every time we had sex, it was awesome. I never walked away from a rendezvous without being completely satisfied. He either made me come because of his ego or because he genuinely cared about my pleasure.
But it didn’t make a difference to me what his motives were.
We agreed not to do sleepovers, which was my idea, but now I didn’t want to leave. His bed was comfy enough for a king, and I had a personal heater to keep me warm all night long. Plus, whenever I was with Ryker, I didn’t think about anyone else. As long as I stayed in his apartment, I wouldn’t think about that phone call I had with Nathan. I wouldn’t analyze the conversation and try to figure out what he wanted. He claimed he just wanted to apologize, but I didn’t believe that for a second.
So I closed my eyes and pulled the covers over my shoulder. I hoped Ryker was nice enough not to wake me up and kick me out. He agreed to my terms like they didn’t matter to him, but they might be more important to him than he let on.
I hoped for the best.
Ryker didn’t move from beside me. His body remained absolutely still. He could be asleep. With my eyes closed, it was hard to tell.
Then he turned to his nightstand and turned off the lamp, bringing his room into complete darkness. He moved his pillows and got comfortable in the bed, clearly preparing to go to sleep.
I was so grateful.
What would make this night even better would be his strong arms wrapped around me, his hard body spooning mine. If I were wrapped in his embrace, I truly wouldn’t be alone. But that was pushing my luck.
Like he could read my mind, Ryker moved into my side and wrapped his arm around my waist. His head rested on the pillow beside me, his breathing slowly coming into my ear. It seemed like he wanted the same thing, not to be alone in this bed.
I wanted to wrap my arm over his and move closer into his side, but I had to pretend to be asleep. If I couldn’t do that, then I would have to explain why I broke my own rule by staying over.
And since I didn’t have an explanation, I didn’t want to go there.
***
My alarm woke me up for work the following morning. It screeched in my ear from the floor where my purse ended up yesterday. I didn’t want to get up, but I didn’t want to keep listening to the most annoying sound in the world.
I kicked the covers back then lay on my stomach on the bed so I could reach down and snatch it. I turned it off so the bedroom would be quiet once more. Still half asleep, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and fixed my tangled hair.
Ryker stirred from beside me, awake after the high-pitched piercing sound woke him up at the break of dawn. The bed shifted as he moved, and I could feel the dip in the mattress as he came closer to me.
He gripped my shoulder and turned me over, forcing me onto my back with my tits pointed to the ceiling. He parted my knees with his thighs then positioned himself on top of me, his hard cock rubbing against my clit as he moved.
A sleepy look was in his eyes, and his hair was tousled from my fingertips constantly running through it. His five o’clock shadow was darker and more pronounced, thick to the touch. He looked sexier than he ever had, fresh from a good night’s sleep. “I want a quickie before work.” His voice was deep and raspy, his throat clogged from not speaking for several hours. He pinned my knees back then slid his length inside me, pushing through my slickness that was always present when he was nearby.
It felt so good to feel him bare, to feel his warm and hot skin right against mine. It was a million times better than the latex that separated us when he wore a condom. It felt so good I almost didn’t say anything.
“Fuck…” He closed his eyes as he savored the touch of our bodies. “Un-fucking-believable.”
I wanted to keep going, but I knew I couldn’t. I was on the pill, but this wasn’t safe. “As much as I enjoy this, we need protection.”
He growled against my mouth, a masculine protest.
“You know we need to.”
“I’m clean, sweetheart. And I know you are too.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because you would tell me if you weren’t.” He pressed his mouth against mine as he continued to rock into me.
It felt so good that I didn’t want to stop him. I wanted to feel his bare cock inside me, to sheath him with my wetness and take his come when he released inside me. The thought made me shiver with pleasure.
But I had to stay focused. “Ryker, no.”
He growled against me again, but he stopped when I said the magic word. He pulled out of me, rolled on a condom, and when he was back on top of me, he fucked me hard like he was pissed off that he didn’t get his way.
Which worked for me.