Michael

Hours later, after I finally left the hotel and drove to my brother Sean’s pub and personal clubhouse, Boiler Room Irish Pub and Bakery, I was still replaying that incident with Eden over and over in my mind.

I didn’t like that, didn’t like it one bit, but in the sanctuary of my car, I could admit I was somewhat impressed.

Grown men didn’t look me in the eye, let alone tell me no, but Eden had no problem with it at all. Seemed to relish doing so in fact.

When I was younger, I wouldn’t have been able to tolerate that, accept her blatant disobedience.

I could barely tolerate it now but there was something thrilling about it.

About her.

Which made no sense at all.

She was, if I was being my most generous, cute at best. Her face was understated pretty and her curvy body looked soft, inviting, but I saw women more beautiful than her on an hourly basis.

None of them stayed in my mind for longer than a second, if that.

But Eden, Eden was nearby in my thoughts.

I’d understand if it was simply anger, me trying to figure out a way to neutralize her influence, get her to see that it would be in her best interest to cooperate with me.

That kind of focus, obsession, really, was something that was comfortable to me and something that was familiar.

But this thing with Eden wasn’t.

Because I wasn’t thinking about ways to make her comply, ways to get rid of her altogether if it came to it.

No, instead I thought about the way she so openly defied me, how much that turned me on, thought about how much fun it would be to turn the tables, have her under me, at my mercy, begging for more.

Something that was doubly frustrating because it wouldn’t happen.

It would be a terrible idea for me because I wasn’t going to mess this up. I wouldn’t give Patrick a reason not to trust me and screwing Eden would be a very good one.

It wouldn’t happen because I aggravated Eden as much as she did me. And she had given no hint that anger was only a mask for obsessive desire.

So, as much as I might want her, might be frustrated with her, there was no way around either, so I’d have to do my best to make nice.

I almost choked on the very thought.

I fucking hated making nice, had almost no experience with it.

But Patrick was insistent that I learn how to work within the confines of a legitimate business, that I couldn’t just bend people to my will using whatever means were necessary.

It seemed that Eden was my test.

She was proving quite the challenge.

Still, I had to be careful, make sure that I didn’t focus on her to the exclusion of everything else. As fascinating as this little game with Eden was, I had a hotel to run. Or a hotel to try to run. Between Eden defying me at every turn, Gerald Collins slinking around behind me, I had a lot to contend with. I wasn’t worried.

I was determined to do this, determined to show Patrick that not only could he trust me, but that I could do what it took to improve our family’s fortunes, even if it was something I didn’t want to do. Once I did, he would allow me to take my rightful place.

Neither Eden, nor Gerald, would stand in the way of that.

Because once that happened, I finally, after all these years, decades, would have proven myself. And I wanted that more than anything at all.

I parked outside the pub and made my way inside. We sometimes used it to clean a small amount of cash, but it was mostly legit, a place for us and the neighborhood to hang out and the perfect environment for Sean to hold court and chase after women, something he seemed to have endless energy for.

It was one of the few places I felt completely comfortable, and looked forward to being there and hanging out with my brothers.

I saw Patrick’s car, and got out, eager to see him.

He had been so preoccupied with his new bride, Nya, we hadn’t seen him as much as we had before.

I was still struggling with that. I was happy for Pat, thought Nya was cool but I missed my brother. Sean said that I wasn’t losing a brother but was gaining a sister, but I wasn’t convinced.

Nya was nice enough, a good match for Patrick, but it had been just the four of us for so long, it was hard to accept another person’s presence. Yet as I saw how happy Patrick was now, I sucked it up and kept my feelings to myself.

If anyone deserved it, Patrick did and I wouldn’t do anything to mess it up. After pausing long enough to take off my tie, I headed into the bar.

It was still early yet, so the crowd was sparse, and I saw Sean immediately.

“Hey, Gracie,” I called to the pub manager and head baker who was pretty much attached to Sean at all times.

“Michael,” she replied without really looking up. I didn’t mind. That shyness was just Grace.

“Just water today,” I said.

She nodded and then quickly slid a glass across the bar.

“No tie, and you’re drinking water?” Sean said.

“Some of us have to be responsible,” I said, taking a sip and pointedly ignoring the comment about the tie.

Sean smirked. “You sound like Patrick,” he said.

I frowned at him. Sounding like Patrick was not something either of us ever wanted to do, but I ignored that and instead found Patrick sitting at the back of the pub. I walked toward him.

“Nya sick of you already?” I asked as I sat across the table from him.

“Never,” he said as he took a sip of his whiskey. “She and her friend Jade are doing some woman thing, which means I’m stuck with you assholes. Quite the downgrade.”

I laughed quickly, then looked at him, really studying him.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s just…you look good, Pat. Happy.”

I went quiet then, unaccustomed to expressing that kind of emotion.

“I am, Michael. Thank you,” he said. “But enough of that.”

“Agreed,” I replied, smiling.

We moved on to other topics, mostly Patrick regaling me with stories of his bride and how much he loved her, his favorite topic at the moment.

I didn’t begrudge him his happiness, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a little bit weird. None of my brothers expressed emotion freely, and to see Patrick like this, happy, looking as free as I could recall seeing him, made me happy.

Instantly I thought of Eden, but then quickly forced that way. What Patrick had with Nya was real. This thing with Eden was simply a battle of wills, one I was intent on winning.

“What has she done now?” Patrick asked.

I looked up, not having realized I had dropped my head.

“You haven’t heard a word I said,” Patrick stated, ending on a little chuckle.

“Of course I have. You’re talking about Nya. How much you love her. How perfect she is. How perfect your life is.”

Instead of being insulted by the somewhat testy tone of the words, Patrick laughed out loud.

“It was something like that, but you didn’t hear it. And when you’re this distracted I know there’s only one cause,” he said.

I twisted my face into a scowl. “What the fuck are you talking about, Patrick?”

“Oh yeah, it’s definitely her,” Patrick said.

“Who the hell is ‘her’?” I said.

“Right, Michael,” he replied, a knowing smile playing on his face.

I knew exactly who the “her” was, and I knew he knew it too. Quite irritating to have two of my brothers bring up the same topic with me on the same day. It was also a sign I needed to do a better job of hiding my thoughts. I didn’t like the idea of anyone knowing what I was thinking, though with my brothers, such a worry was futile. What I liked even less, though, was knowing that Eden was the cause.

I needed to make sure she stayed out of my mind.

Starting now.

I looked at the door and watched as Declan, my second oldest brother entered. He nodded at Sean and didn’t look at Grace. As he approached the table, he didn’t slow and as one, Patrick and I stood, Sean behind us.

When we got to the back room, the air became even lighter, more relaxed.

We all loved Boiler Room, felt as comfortable there as we possibly could anywhere, but there was something about the four of us together that couldn’t be replicated, and when we were alone, there was a freedom that we seldom felt in the presence of others.

“How is everything?” Declan asked.

“Bar’s running fine,” Sean said.

“And Aengus?” Patrick asked, this time looking at Declan.

“Still a scoundrel, but apparently taking a break for now,” he said.

Patrick’s expression was passive but I knew what he thought. We all hated our father, Aengus, but we’d all promised our mother he wouldn’t come to harm at our hands. It was a promise we’d all kept so far, one that we still intended to keep, but despite it, after what had happened with Patrick and Nya, we resolved to keep a close eye on him. If he stepped out of line, the mercy he didn’t deserve would end sooner than he thought. Something that wouldn’t bother me a bit.

Until then, we’d keep an eye on him so we didn’t get caught flat-footed.

“The hotel,” Patrick said, looking at me now.

“Running smoothly. But it would be a lot smoother if you’d just put me in charge,” I said.

“You are in charge,” Patrick replied.

“But I have to ask permission every time I want to fire somebody. Does that sound like I’m in charge to you?” I said.

I ignored Sean, who looked back and forth between Patrick and me, didn’t look at Declan, who I knew had no reaction at all, and instead focused on Patrick.

“I gave Eden that responsibility to help you,” Patrick said.

“And how is having to ask her permission before I can take a fucking piss helping me?” I said, allowing far too much of my frustration to show through. I knew my brothers wouldn’t miss that, and that Sean especially was filing my little outburst away for later use.

Patrick frowned, then took a deep breath. I could tell I was testing his patience but I didn’t care. “It helps because you don’t want to alienate the staff.”

“I don’t give two shits about alienating staff,” I shot back.

“My point exactly. Eden’s got a cool head on her shoulders. Everybody likes and respects her. Plus, she’s got the balls to stand up to you. Which makes her perfect for the job,” Patrick said.

“Pat, this is bullshit. If you want me to run the fucking hotel, give me the power to do it,” I said.

“Michael, if you want to run the hotel, prove to me that you’re capable of doing so,” Patrick shot back.

And that was the end of that conversation. I had known that I shouldn’t bring it up, but I hadn’t been able to help myself.

I was sick of being coddled, of Patrick not respecting me. Hated it, in fact. For as long as I could remember, I’d done what he asked, tried to prove each and every day that I was worthy of my name, of being his brother.

So far, at least, I had failed.

He’d never said as much, at least not directly, but he had made it clear in his actions, in the way he never trusted me to do anything of value. He tried to play it off as teaching me how to manage in the underworld and in the legit world, but I saw right through his bullshit.

He didn’t trust me, and I wouldn’t rest until he did.

But confronting him this way wasn’t going to help. I had known that, had told myself that I was going to keep my mouth closed, not say anything, I hadn’t been able to.

Eden wasn’t even here and she was about to give me an aneurysm.

“Is everything else okay?” Patrick asked.

“It’s fine. I plan to get rid of those two security guards as soon as Eden says it’s okay,” I said sarcastically.

Patrick just smiled. “Well, I hope you can convince her.”

I didn’t respond to that and instead continued, “Things are quiet. None of the guests have been of note, and I haven’t seen anything of concern.”

“Good. I hope that shit has passed but keep your eyes open.”

“Always,” I said.

And it was true. We had navigated that particular threat to Patrick, but there were always others.

“Is there anything else?” Patrick said.

“No,” I said.

“No,” Sean said.

“No,” Declan said.

“Good.” Patrick stood. “Now let’s go have a drink.”