CHAPTER 1
Jack Gordon leaned in, about to close the deal on what he hoped would be a mind-erasing kiss—because he could really stand to erase some memories right about now.
He was just concentrating on not coughing from the overwhelming cloud of perfume that surrounded her, and now him too, when the blonde’s hand on his chest stopped the downward descent of his head toward hers.
He moved back again, almost relieved she had stopped him.
She was right. This kiss was probably a really bad idea. His heart still had the bruise from watching Carly, the woman he’d had a crush on for two years, fall hard for his best friend Trey.
That was in addition to the fact that Darlene, the current near recipient of his impending kiss, worked at Carly’s bar as a cocktail waitress.
Darlene held one finger in the air. “Hang on.”
Sticking two fingers into her mouth, she pulled out a purple piece of chewing gum. He watched with fascination as she stuck the gum on the doorframe of the back entrance to the bar. Then she grabbed the neck of his T-shirt, yanked him to her and shoved her tongue nearly down his throat.
He was still recovering from that surprise attack when she reached down and grabbed, right through his jeans, what he considered to be his private property.
Jack jumped back, pulling his violated pelvis with him. “Whoa, there. Wait a minute, Darlene. What’s the hurry?”
The cocktail waitress ran her hands up and down his chest. “But, Jackie. I’ve had my eye on you for years and you’ve never given me the time of day. Now that you’ve finally come to your senses, I’m not letting you get away.”
He backed up, and she stepped closer, pinning him against the railing of the much too small staircase landing.
Her mouth was just closing over his again when he heard someone very loudly and obviously clearing her throat. He pulled back and looked down to see Carly standing at the bottom of the short staircase.
“Darlene, are we already closed for the night?” Carly made a show of glancing at her watch.
Jack felt his face grow hot at being caught sucking face behind the building with the waitress.
Darlene didn’t seem to care though. She glanced toward Carly without blinking an eye. “No.”
“Oh? Sorry, I assumed since my only cocktail waitress is out back making out with one of my customers we must be closed.” Carly waited a beat. When Darlene made no move and still had yet to remove her hands from Jack’s chest, she continued, “Darlene. Get inside and back to work.”
Darlene rolled her eyes in a move that could probably get her fired if Carly wanted to be a hard-ass boss.
“I’ll see you later,” Darlene said with a wink at him before she sauntered back inside.
Jack dropped his gaze to the ground, too embarrassed to look Carly in the eye. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine. From what I saw, you were the one being attacked.” She stepped up and wiped her thumb across his mouth. “Lipstick.”
He rubbed his mouth and tried to ignore the knowledge that his cheeks were most likely as red as Darlene’s lipstick smeared all over his mouth. “Yeah. I can take down a man twice my size in hand-to-hand combat, but they don’t teach us a defense for that kind of assault in training.”
He dropped down and sat on the top step, running both hands over his face.
Carly sat next to him and bumped her shoulder against his. “What’s wrong, Jack?”
Jack glanced sideways at her. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”
She shrugged. “You just don’t seem yourself lately and I never in a million years imagined Darlene was your type.”
He smiled sadly. She wasn’t. His type was sitting right next to him—and she belonged to his best friend.
Jack decided to change the subject before that still-raw wound opened back up. “What are you doing back here at the bar on your night off? I thought you were over at Trey’s place.”
“I was. Then I remembered tomorrow is the first of the month and I forgot to pay the bills. Figured I better get back here and on my computer to do it quick. I guess I’m not used to having a man in my life. It gets in the way of things like paperwork sometimes.”
Jack raised a brow. Was she unhappy? And what if she were? Trey was head over heels for this girl. Jack could never pursue Carly knowing that.
Could he?
Against all logic, his heart began to beat faster as hope he shouldn’t have—couldn’t have—started to creep into him.
“I heard Trey asked you to move in with him. He told me you said no.” Jack mentioned it casually, thinking a bit of investigation into this situation couldn’t hurt. Strictly for Trey’s sake, of course.
Elbows on knees, Carly rested her chin on one hand. She tilted her head toward him. “You heard right.”
Jack tried to control his heart rate. Even though he had buried them so deep it would take a backhoe to find them, Jack still had feelings for her.
Could she possibly have feelings for him too? Could they both be denying what they felt because of Trey?
“Carly, I need to know something. The reason you won’t move in with him, it’s not because of me, is it?”
She pressed her lips together with what? Pity?
Great. He regretted the question and his stupidity immediately.
She reached out and squeezed his hand. “No, Jack.”
The pity part sucked, but besides that, her answer didn’t hurt him quite as badly as he’d feared it would.
This was progress. There might be hope for his poor heart to recover yet. In fact, he felt a bit relieved. He didn’t know what the hell he would have done if she’d said yes.
No man should have to choose between his best friend and a woman.
He laced his fingers with hers. “Then what’s the problem, darlin’?”
“It’s me.” She sighed. “I’m so damn afraid of being hurt again that I’m going to end up driving away a really good man.”
Jack shook his head. “I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you. A stampede couldn’t drive Trey away. I know that for a fact. Just like I know he would never willingly hurt you.”
She looked up at him with glassy eyes. “And what if he has no choice in the matter? What if he goes away on one of his mysterious assignments and just never comes home? I was with you guys on one of your missions, remember? I know what happened to your brother Jimmy. I know what could happen to Trey.”
The fear of every military wife, mother and girlfriend.
Jack breathed in deep and considered his answer. “Well, I reckon it will hurt just as bad if that happens whether you two are living together or not. The only thing you can do is try to live the life God gives you to the fullest with no regrets.”
She smiled in spite of the tears making her eyes glisten. “How’d you get so smart?”
Jack smiled back at her and wiped the single teardrop from her cheek. “My brothers wouldn’t agree with you, but thanks for the compliment, darlin’.”
Still looking incredibly sad, Carly blew out a breath. “You’re all so secretive. Would they even tell me if something did happen? Or would he just disappear and I’d never know why?”
Secrets were a part of military life, but especially so in his particular unit. Carly was correct in that. It added yet another difficulty to the already staggering challenge of trying to maintain a relationship.
“I’d never let you wonder. I’d tell you as much as I was allowed. I promise.”
“Thank you.” Eyes filled to brimming with tears, she leaned over and hugged him.
Feeling awkward being this close, he still couldn’t resist dropping a light kiss on the top of her head. He breathed in the fresh scent of her shampoo. As he felt his heart tighten, he squeezed her once and then released her.
When he raised his eyes, he saw Trey standing at the bottom of the stairs, his expression less than happy.
Carly glanced up at Trey and wiped her eyes. “Hi. I’m sorry. I didn’t even get upstairs to the computer yet to pay my bills. I’ll do it right now. I’ll be quick, I promise.” She hopped up, planted a quick kiss on Trey’s mouth and then jogged up the staircase to her apartment above the bar.
Trey pursed his lips and put one foot up on the bottom step. “So.”
Jack raised a brow. “So?”
He could see the inner turmoil written all over Trey’s face.
“So I know it’s crazy, but I’m jealous as hell of you sitting here talking with Carly.”
Jack broke out laughing. Wasn’t that ironic? Trey was the one who had Carly in his bed every night and he was jealous of Jack for sitting on the steps next to her? “Trey. There’s nothing going on. You know that. She loves you. She wouldn’t cheat on you.”
“I know that. Besides, we’re at it so often she wouldn’t physically have the energy to cheat on me. Sex is not the problem with our relationship.”
Jack covered his face. This was way too much information.
He looked up through his hands as Trey continued, “I’m jealous she talks to you when she doesn’t talk to me. Not about the important stuff anyway. Not even to give me a reason why she won’t move in with me. It’s damn frustrating.”
“Ask her again.”
“What?” Trey frowned.
“Go upstairs and ask her to move in with you again. I think she might say yes.”
Trey’s eyes opened wide with hope, then he frowned suspiciously. “Why? What did she tell you?”
Jack shook his head and stood. He already seemed to be deep in between them, and he wasn’t digging his own hole any deeper. He grabbed Trey by the shoulders and steered him in the direction of Carly’s door. “Go.”
Trey glanced back and then smiled. “Thanks, Jack. Oh, and by the way, you’ve got a red smudge right by your mouth.”
That little reminder made up Jack’s mind about what to do next. He had considered going back into the bar for another beer, but the thought of Darlene in hot pursuit sent him in the other direction, into the lot to where he’d parked his convertible.
Once safely in his car, he took a napkin out of the glove compartment. Frowning at the lipstick smudges he saw on his face reflected in the rearview mirror, he wiped hard.
The damn stuff was nearly indelible, but after he finally got himself fairly clean, Jack fired up the engine and headed for home where he could wallow in his lonely misery in private.
At least Trey and Carly were happy. He’d work on getting himself happy later.
While driving, Jack considered the best way to do that.
Tomorrow, he’d go to the commander’s office and ask to be assigned somewhere, anywhere. A little life-and-death action would do wonders to take his mind off Trey and Carly until the scar on his heart finally disappeared completely.