39.
Becca
The rain starts to fall just as I get out of the city, though the thunder and lightning have begun long before. At first, it’s only a light drizzle. But bit by bit the intensity increases, and soon it’s coming down in waves. Within minutes, it’s raining so hard that it seems God himself is trying to wash the canvas of the world clean. In all my years of living here in the Pacific Northwest, never have I seen a downpour like this.
As soon as the storm starts in earnest, traffic slows to a crawl. I’m leaned forward in my seat, my nose practically pressed to the front window as I work to make out the road in front of me. Without taking my eyes off of what few feet of the highway I can actually see, I reach over and fumble with the radio. After several minutes, I finally find the weather station.
“…an unexpected, massive thunderstorm,” the weatherman is saying, “with potential rainfall unlike anything we’ve seen in the last thirty years. If at all possible, get indoors. It’s hard to predict how long this is going to last, folks, but based on the current pressure system, it doesn’t look like it’s going to let up anytime soon. A flash flood warning has been issued and is in effect for every county from Seattle down to Portland. So far, average rainfall totals by county are as follows: King County: point six—“
Great. Just great. I click off the radio. Just what I needed. As if I weren’t feeling poor enough already! Though I’ve been doing my best to remain chipper, with every mile I put between me and Rich’s apartment my mood has grown more and more sour. Everything was feeling just so damn hopeless at the moment. And now, with this rain…
Ugh. Stop it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You need to focus so you don’t get washed away. Just imagine how nice it’s going to be to be at home in your bed.
Mmm, that was going to be nice. Already I could feel the warm covers around me. Maybe I’d get a bottle of wine and turn on some sappy movie. I didn’t have anywhere to be, not until Monday morning. Even then, if I felt like it, I could call in sick. It’s not like Charles would miss me. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even notice I was gone.
The miles pass slowly, the rain unrelenting. Only I seem to have ignored the weatherman’s advice, the highway empty now save for a few tractor-trailers. Already, the ditches on either side of the road are topped off, water starting to spill over onto the asphalt. It was as if every drop of water on the planet was being dropped on our heads. No doubt my phone was blowing up with worried text messages from Sophia. If this storm didn’t let up soon, it wouldn’t be long before she called out the search teams.
I putter along, my speedometer barely edging past thirty. After a while, I come upon a line of cars and fall in. No one joins the line behind me. Every few seconds, lightning illuminates the sky, revealing the dark, menacing mass of clouds roiling overhead. In just under two hours, I had gone less than fifty miles. At this rate, it was going to take another six hours to get home.
One by one, the cars in the line ahead of me drop off; before I know it, I’m all alone again. The navigation system, not accounting for the rain of course, has me just under halfway from home.
The water on the road is deepening, the rain somehow becoming heavier than ever. I was getting nervous now. Please don’t let me die out here, I plead to whoever might be listening. Please. There’s so much more I want to do.
The world is pitch black around me, the highway lights having flickered out several miles ago, my lights just barely strong enough to cut through the sheets of rain. I’ve hit a long stretch of road where civilization seems to have ceased to exist. It’s been well over half an hour since I’ve seen another vehicle, either on my side of the highway or coming the opposite way. If I were to be sucked into the earth, not a single person would have a clue as to where I’d gone.
A sobering thought. Okay, the next sign of civilization we see, we’re stopping.
And as soon as I think this, on the horizon appears a small, glowing something. When it comes into view, my first thought is that it’s a car coming towards me, but as I inch along, the radio now pure static thanks to the rain, slowly it coalesces into a sign. A gas station.
I sigh in relief. At the very least, the place would have a toilet. I had had to pee for entirely too long.
Though it’s less than two miles up the straight highway, the station takes another ten minutes to reach. If I had thought it was raining impossibly hard before, it is nothing compared to how it’s coming down now. There aren’t even words to describe it. It’s as if the air itself has turned into water.
When I reach the exit to the station, I pull off carefully, zigzagging around puddles just in case they’re deeper than they look. Finally, I turn into the station’s parking lot, my tires crunching on gravel. Hearing this, I let out the breath I’ve been holding for some time.
What a dismal looking place out in the middle of nowhere! I pull up as close to the front door as possible. Through the window, I can see the cashier behind the register idly flipping through a magazine, utterly untroubled by the biblical flood happening outside.
I switch off the engine and cut the lights. Though my bladder is demanding to be emptied, I don’t move. With how hard it’s raining, there’s no chance in hell I’m getting out of this car. I was just going to have to wait for the storm to pass.
I lean my seat back and fold my hands behind my head. At once, as if all the emotions of the day had been waiting until this very moment to drain out of me, I grow incredibly drowsy.
I’m so tired all of a sudden that I have no energy even to think, a godsend considering thinking is the last thing I want to do. There would be time enough for that later. Right now, it was time for a nap.
Closer and closer I edge to sleep, my eyelids growing heavier with every passing moment. The world around me has taken on a strange fuzzy quality, my mind straddling that bizarre area midway between wakefulness and sleep. I’m like a cork bobbing in the middle of a wide, lazy river.
It’s hard to tell how much time is passing. At some point, maybe five minutes after arriving or maybe fifty, light flashes across my dashboard as another vehicle pulls into the parking lot. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the sound of tires crunching on gravel registers, though with most of me swimming elsewhere, I pay it no mind.
I’m snapped out of my trance, however, when out of the corner of my half-open eyes, I see someone dart past my car and pull open the door of the little station store. Blinking several times, I force myself to focus as the man steps out of the rain and into the light.
There’s something familiar about him; I feel it immediately. Those shoulders, that neck, those arms, that hair.
My breath catches in my chest. No, no it couldn’t be. I was imagining things. Surely I’d gone crazy sitting out here in the rain, or else I was asleep.
The man’s back is to me; he’s talking to the cashier. Turn around, turn around.
He turns a moment later, confirming what deep inside of me I already know. Even so, I gasp when I see his face. It is indeed him. It’s Rich. My Rich. But how? How in the world was he at the same station out in the middle of nowhere as me?
He’s standing just inside the front door, taking a moment to gather himself as he prepares to run back to his car. My ears are throbbing, my heart pounding so loudly that the rain hammering against the roof is all but drowned out. What do I do? Do I get out and go over to him? Do I roll down the window and shout his name? I still wasn’t entirely sure I wasn’t dreaming.
Rich…
He’s unchanged since last we parted. Still the same beautiful man I had fallen in love during that one magical week three months ago. I shudder as I feel the ghost of his arms around me, the shadow of his body against mine. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d been pining for him. Every inch of me is aching for his touch. I had known seeing him would bring back feelings, but never had I expected them to be as powerful as this.
He opens the station door and steps out in the rain. But rather than run back to his car, he meanders slowly, maneuvering around the puddles that have formed in the uneven surface of the lot. I turn in my seat, my eyes taking in his every move.
But wait. His car. It too looked familiar. Where had I seen it?
An image floats up. A coffee stand. An arm holding out a twenty. A bewildered attendant with a look of disbelief. That had been him, too?
I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles are white. I still have no idea what to do.
Go, something whispers. Go to him. Now, before the chance is gone. Go!
I have no choice but to listen. My body moving on autopilot, my mind having ceded control to the little voice inside of me, I push open the car door and climb out. Though it’s raining as hard as ever, I don’t feel a drop.
I float across the parking lot, my gaze unwavering from the back of his head. He’s halfway to his car now. My step quickens, the rest of the world around me dimming and dropping away. He is the only reality there is.
He must hear me behind him because all of a sudden he stops. I stop too, watching as his wide shoulders rise and fall.
He turns around; our eyes meet. A second passes; recognition flickers across his face. No, I can see his mind saying as his eyes open wide. No, it can’t be.
His mouth opens but no words come out. We’re standing no more than ten feet apart. Directly overhead, lightning flashes. An angry peal of thunder follows.
“Rich?” I whisper, taking a step towards him. “Rich, is that really you?”
“Becca…” he murmurs. He too isn’t sure what to believe. It’s clear he’s having the same thought I am: Is this real?
The two of us are frozen, just taking one another in. All around us, the storm continues to rage. It doesn’t matter. We may as well be in the middle of a grassy field on a sunny summer day. There is nothing and no one else in all the world, only him and me and this ten feet of space between us.
A second peal of thunder sounds overhead, so loud that the both of us involuntarily twitch.
And just like that, the spell is broken.
“Oh Becca!” he cries, crossing the space that separates us in an instant, his hands reaching out towards me. “Becca…”
“Rich…” I murmur. “My Rich…”
And then I’m in his arms and he’s kissing me, his lips falling upon my cheeks, my nose, my eyelids, my forehead, my ears, my chin, my neck.
“Rich!” I gasp. I’m hugging him tightly to me, my hands clutching desperately at his shirt as if I’m afraid that letting go for even one moment will find him disappeared.
I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it! It’s him. It’s really him…
“My baby, oh, my baby…” Breaking away from our embrace, he holds me away from him, looking me over as if to confirm it really is me standing here before him. Puling me back to him, this time his lips find mine and he kisses me deeply, in that moment all the pain and frustration and confusion of the past three months dissolving completely. Not a second has passed since that final morning in Hawaii together right before it all fell apart. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know that this is where I’ve belonged this entire time, right here with his lips pressed to mine, his arms tight around me, our bodies and our souls one…
How could I have ever doubted? How could I have ever been so stupid?
We’re both laughing hysterically, tears of joy streaming down our faces and joining the river of rain running down our cheeks. I can feel his heart thumping inside his chest, mine thumping right along with it.
Lifting me, he spins me around and laughs triumphantly up at the sky. Now it’s my turn to shower him with kisses. As I do, I run my hands over his face and through his hair, caress his ears, stroke his cheeks, touch his lips, his nose, his shoulders, his chest, his neck, his chin rough with two-day stubble. Burying my face in the crook of his neck, I breathe deep his scent I’ve so dearly missed so.
“Rich. Oh, my darling, darling Rich…”
Another crash of thunder makes us both jump. We giggle, a shudder passing through me and into him.
“Becca,” he whispers, lowering me back to the ground. “Becca…”
Everything that need and need not be said is contained within this one word, my name. For a moment, we stand there, neither one of us speaking as we look deep into each other’s eyes.
“I…” I begin.
He puts a finger to my lips. “It’s not important,” he says, and I know that it is true. “None of it is important. Only this, only us. This is all that matters.”
“Rich…I…I just…I just can’t believe it’s you. Is it really you? Are you really here?”
“It’s me, my love. It’s me.”
“Rich, I love you. I’ve always loved you. Ever since the first day I met you.”
He grins, his hands reaching down and finding mine. Raising them to his lips, he kisses my fingers one by one.
“I love you, too, Becca. More than you can ever know. I’ve never loved anyone like I’ve loved you. These last three months…”
“I know, my baby. I know.”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you, couldn’t get you out of my mind. Everywhere I went you were with me, always right there by my side. I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing you. The moment I woke I’d think of you; you were my last thought each and every night.”
“It was the same for me. You’re in my blood, Richie.”
“I tried to pretend, pretend that I could move on, that I could be happy without you, that what we had was something less than it was, that our time together had been nothing but a crush in paradise. But it wasn’t true. It could never be true. The days since I last saw you have meant nothing to me. They were empty, every single last one. Just gray, lifeless moments strung together with no meaning. Without you, nothing mattered. It was all just emptiness, utter emptiness. You came into my life and you gave me light where before there was none. I didn’t even realize what I was missing until I met you. You’re the most incredible, the most special person I’ve ever met. I’ve never come across another person like you. I…I don’t think I can live without you, Becca. I don’t want to.”
“You don’t have to. You’ll never have to again.”
“Do you promise?” His voice is straining with emotion, his eyes shining with love. I feel enveloped in it; it’s like a protective bubble wrapped around me. Now that he was here, back in my arms, nothing could ever hurt me again.
“I promise, my love. I’m yours, yours now and forever.”
“Oh, Becca!” he cries, his arms tightening around me once more. “I’m so damn happy!”
“Me too. Me too, my love, my heart, my everything.”
“But wait,” he says, leaning back to look at me. Suddenly, he’s serious, his eyes imploring as they search deep within my own. “I have to say it, I just have to. I’m sorry, Becca. I’m sorry for everything, for not telling you who I was, for not telling you about Charlotte, for accusing you of leaking that picture, for—“
“No, Rich,” I interrupt. “I’m sorry. I should have talked to you. How could I have believed those things about you? Of course they weren’t true! I was so stupid, so selfish, so—“
“It’s not important. Not anymore. I don’t care about any of that. How could it possibly matter now that you’re back in my arms?”
“Still, can you ever forgive me?”
Laughing, Rich runs his hand through the wet curls of my hair. “Of course. Can you forgive me?”
“I already have.”
We fall silent, the two of us grinning like idiots. Nothing more need be said. All was right with the universe now, the scales balanced, whatever debt there might have been paid.
Suddenly, as if it’s some sort of divine sign, the rain stops. As hard as it’s been pouring the last several hours, now the air is just as still.
“Wow…” Rich murmurs, his head tilting back as he looks up at the sky in wonder.
The two of us are soaked through and through, our clothes hanging heavily on our bodies. As one, we shiver, the cold of the night finally starting to seep in.
“Well,” Rich says, a laugh rumbling in his chest as he looks back down at me, his blue eyes sparkling in the light emanating from the gas station store. “Your place or mine?”
I giggle, my head falling onto his shoulder. Drawing in a lungful of air, I let out a sigh. It’s a sigh of utter contentment, a sigh of deep, abiding happiness.
“I don’t care,” I yawn, all at once more tired than I’ve ever been. “Now that you’re here, I haven’t a care in the world. Not as long as I’m with you.”
“My place it is then. But first, we need some gas.” Leading me over to the passenger door of his car, he pulls it open. “As for your car, I’ll call and get it towed in the morning.” Scooping me up into his arms, he bends down and places me gently onto the seat.
“Perfect,” I murmur, my eyelids heavy, a permanent smile on my lips. “Do whatever you think is best, my love.”
Just then the clouds part, a sliver of moonlight illuminating the parking lot. Raising my head, I look up at the love of my life standing over me, looking more beautiful than anyone or anything I’ve ever seen. Instantly, I’m transported back to the very first moment I laid eyes on him, that moment on the plane when he’d jokingly pointed out that we’d landed in Hawaii. Funny how such small, unremarkable moments like that could forever change the course of one’s life. Who would have known that this was where we’d end up?
Closing the door, he walks around to the gas pump. It doesn’t take long to fill his tank. When he’s finished and has rejoined me in the car, I reach over and take his hand, my fingers intertwining with his. Without a word, he starts the motor, loops around the parking lot and pulls out onto the road leading back to the highway.
Here it is. It’s finally here—the life you’re meant to be living. Settling deeper into my seat, I look over at Rich. He’s still grinning, every few seconds his eyes flashing over to mine. About damn time it arrived.
Sighing, my fingers squeezing his, I let my eyes fall closed, my exhaustion no longer willing to be held at bay.
About damn time, indeed.
THE END