Scared and left to wonder what was going to happen next, I sat alone in Jack’s living room, replaying the story of my life. Like a classic movie, my past flashed in muted tones of black and white; the kidnapping, the torture, the girls, Sara. She wasn’t really Sara, or was she? I still don’t know.

I was still processing the irony of it all. I was still trying to process that the one girl I felt a kinship to somehow, was also the woman Deuce loved. I don’t know why it was such a hard pill to swallow, why it stung so deeply. As I sit here in the dark, I realize the thing that bothers me the most isn’t that he loved her but that she got more time with him. It’s selfish. It’s ugly. But it’s true.

I’m jealous of a dead girl.

How’s that for kinship?

Since she disappeared from the warehouse, I thought about what might have happened to her and now I know. I’m actually upset that she got Deuce when all I got was Rush. What kind of person does that make me?

I think what makes it worse is even when he told me the truth and explained that Sara was murdered, all I felt was fear. Not for myself. Not for Deuce. I feared for us. I feared this was going to extinguish our fire, and that was as scary as being thrown into the back of a van.

Maybe it’s because I’m learning to overcome my demons. Instead of holding onto the past, I’m slowly letting it slip through my fingers. I’m allowing myself to live. To dream. And I can’t imagine doing any of that without Deuce. I can’t imagine riding this crazy thing we call life without him. I can live without him. I’m strong enough to do that but I don’t want to. It’s amazing when you’re not dependent on someone, how much you feel for them. It’s not about what they can do for you, it’s just about them. It’s about feeling them, loving them and just being together because there is no place in the world you’d rather be.

It’s knowing you chose that person over everyone—danger and death be damned.

It’s riding side by side until the end.

The door finally opens, causing me to jump to my feet and turn to Deuce. My heart hammers against my chest as I stare at him. I never expected to feel anything other than pain, but when I look at him all I feel is hope. Hope and love.

So much love.

He closes the front door gently, bracing one hand on it before he lifts his eyes to me.

“What did he say?” I ask exasperatedly as I rush toward him. “Tell me the plan,” I add as he drops his hand from the door and stands tall.

“C’mere,” he rasps, holding out his hand.

The urgency from before is gone and his voice sounds deflated. It’s almost as if his spirit has been taken from him, something I can recognize since I lived without a spirit of my own for so long.

“No,” I reply defiantly, taking a step backward.

“Ally,” he whispers. “Baby, don’t make this harder than it has to be. I don’t want your last memory of me to be a rotten one.”

“Then don’t make it that way,” I spit angrily as I ball my trembling hands into fists. “What did Jack say? If he won’t help then we’ll just figure it out ourselves,” I argue.

“It’s time to say goodbye, Ally.”

“Then let’s say goodbye. Let’s say goodbye to this town. It’ll be like an adventure. I haven’t had many of those,” I say, stepping forward. As the words leave my lips, I stare at him and see nothing but regret.

“You just got your life back,” he says. “I’m not going to be the one who takes it from you, darlin’. I’m a selfish man, but I ain’t that selfish. Think about everything you can do now. Think about all you’ve got. Your brother is back in your life, Celeste too and that little girl, your niece. Before you know it there will be another little one around and you’ll be their favorite aunt. You don’t want to miss that, Ally. Trust me, there is so much more out there for you. You’ll get your adventures. Some man is going to come into your life and he’s going to take you on the adventure of your life. He’s going to love you hard, so fucking hard.”

“Stop it,” I cry, reaching for him. The leather vest he was wearing on the way here is now gone and I grab the cotton of his shirt. “I don’t want adventures if they’re not with you. Don’t you get it, Deuce? I want you. You’re right, I’ve been given a second chance. I’ve been given the chance to dream and the only person I want to do that with is you.”

“Dream big, baby. Dream for the both of us,” he whispers.

“No!”

Bending his knees to make us eye level, he pulls my hands away from his shirt and takes a hold of my face.

“What happened to ride or die? What happened to feeling fire and never wanting to escape?” I sob. “What happened to letting me make my own decisions?”

“I meant all of that,” he defends. “I want you to make your own decisions but you can’t make decisions for yourself if you’re dead.”

He pauses, leaning his forehead against mine.

“You don’t think this is killing me right now? Ally, a part of me wishes they would have caught me before I ever met you, that way I wouldn’t know what I’m losing. Then the other part of me is happy to have had a chance to have to. There was nothing more beautiful than watching you come into your own. I’m damn proud to have been a part of that and even prouder to be the man who got to love that side of you first. I’ll always be your first, Ally, and you’ll always be my last. Ain’t nothing going to change that.”

“You love me?”

“Like wildfire.”

“You can’t tell me you love me and then leave me.”

“I just did,” he says, tilting my head back slightly. “I’ll never forget you,” he adds, breaking my heart even more. “I’ll die counting these freckles,” he says as he peppers kisses over the bridge of my nose.

“Please,” I whimper. “It’s not supposed to end like this,” I stammer, pushing him away. “We’re not supposed to go down like this. Like Bonnie and Clyde, you and I are supposed to defeat the odds. We’re meant to stand side by side until they take us down because we’re one. We’re supposed to create fire and light up the whole damn world so no one ever forgets us.”

“No one will forget you,” he says.

“Not me, I’m talking about us. I’m talking about Caleb West and Alexandria Richardson.”

“There’s no us, Ally. There’s just you,” he says.

Then he drops his hands from my face and tilts his head slightly as he brushes his lips over mine.

One final time.

We don’t ride until we die.

No one will bury us side by side.

The world won’t remember us.

We’re not Bonnie and Clyde.

A love like ours has the power to die.