I press my cell between my palms.

It's been radio silence between me and my sister for months. There hasn't been a hint of contact. Not even anything as innocuous as a comment on a social media post.

Now we need to talk.

What the hell does she want to say?

My head is swimming. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and stare back at my reflection. What does the girl in the mirror want? There's no clarity in her expression. Only confusion.

I squeeze the phone as I make my way downstairs. My knuckles turn white. I lose all feeling in my hands.

Is she calling to apologize or to deliver bad news about Dad?

I'm not sure I can stomach either.

"Hey." Pete's voice cuts through the quiet room. He's sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal.

I nod a hello back to him. I want to tell him about the call. I want to share the weight of this with someone. If it is bad news, if something has happened to Dad… I can't deal with that on my own.

Words refuse to find my lips. My mouth is sticky. Okay. I need more time to think. I take a seat on the couch. It's no good. The couch was comfortable last night. Right now, it feels like I'm sitting on a pile of rocks. Crossing my legs does nothing to help.

There are footsteps as he comes closer. I keep my eyes on the hardwood floor. I keep my fingers curled around my phone.

The weight on the couch shifts as he sits next to me. I can feel all the warmth of his body. I can feel his breath on my shoulder.

"You don't like me pushing you away," he says.

I nod.

"Don't like you locking me out either." He drags his fingertips over my shoulder and down my arm. "What's wrong?"

I open my mouth to speak but the words stay trapped in my throat. How do I explain my feelings towards Madison? I hate her and I love her. I never want to see her again and I miss her more than anything.

His hand finds mine. He peels my fingers from my phone.

"Hey, that's mine." I reach for my cell but he's already hiding it above my head. "Pete. Don't!"

"Don't what?"

"Give it back."

"If you tell me what it is that's upsetting you."

"You're pushy." I reach for his arm but I get distracted by how good it feels to touch him.

"Hey." He pulls me into his lap and hands my phone back. "Talk to me. You look miserable."

"My sister called."

He runs his fingertips over my chin. "What did she say?"

"That we need to talk."

"You need to talk to her."

"Excuse me?" I stare back into his eyes, but the affection in them disarms me. "You don't tell me what to do."

"I'll get you some coffee." He slides me off his lap and pushes himself to his feet.

I play with my phone, staring at Madison's text. It's matter of fact. She's not a matter of fact kind of person. She's expressive, loud, joyful. Is she treading lightly or is it bad news?

Pete's footsteps come closer. He kneels in front of me and hands over my coffee.

I get lost staring into his deep brown eyes. He doesn't like me locking him out. He wants in my heart. I want in his.

How can this be casual?

I bury my thoughts in my coffee. It's sweet and creamy. Incredibly sweet and creamy. "You must think I'm a kid putting this much sugar in the coffee."

"Comfort food." He runs his fingertips over my knee. "Not gonna force you to do shit, Jess, but I'm gonna make sure your sister knows she hurt you."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Madison, right?"

"Yeah."

"If you don't call her, I'm gonna release a bonus song called Fuck you Madison. You better apologize to Jess for Hurting Her."

"That's a disgustingly long title."

"Eleven words? That's nothing. I can name twenty songs that are longer."

"I believe you." I down half my coffee in one sip. It's so sweet my teeth hurt, but the sugar is comforting.

"Look me in the eyes."

I do.

"Tell me the truth. Do you want to make up with her?"

"Yes. I miss her."

"Tell her that."

"But I… I'm still mad. And she hasn't apologized."

"Tell her that too." He slides onto the couch next to me. His fingers trail over my bare thighs. "I'll be right here the whole time."

"What if it's bad news?"

"You have reason to believe that?"

"Yeah… my dad. It could be something about him." I take a deep breath. "He has health problems." There. That's the truth even if it is lacking the critical detail of his health problems being ten years of enabled binge drinking.

Can I even talk to my family without falling back into those patterns? The second I hear their voices, I lose my spine. I want to do whatever it takes to make them feel better.

I've been protecting Dad and Madison for the last ten years. I don't know how to talk to them as equals.

"Don't want to stoop to bribing you with sex, but I will." He traces the outline of my phone, his eyes on mine. "Call her."

"What about the sex bribe?"

"Jess, if you want me, ask for me."

"Can we have sex after this phone call?"

"Fuck yeah."

"Okay." That eases some of the tension in my chest. I have something to look forward to. I unlock my phone screen and stare at the call back button. Okay. I can do this.

I dial and hold the phone to my ear.

She answers right away. "Jessie, is that really you?"

Her voice is excited and needy. She misses me too.

A million feelings rise up inside me. I'm angry, sad, nostalgic. I miss her but it still hurts.

I keep my voice even. "It's me."

"I miss you. I know that isn't any consolation, but I do."

Deep breath. I have to stay strong, to tell her she hurt me. "Why did you call?"

"To explain about Nathan." Her voice drops. "And to apologize. I know you hate me right now. I deserve it. I'm so sorry, Jessie. It was a bitch move sleeping with Nathan, but I really thought it was over. He told me you'd ended it."

Oh. That sounds like Nathan. But that's not enough to absolve her. "You didn't just sleep with him. You two are dating. You've been together for six months."

"I know. I'm sorry. There's no excuse. But you know how he is. He made me feel smart and special. And he had that way of explaining things that convinced me his ideas were right."

"Had that way?"

"We broke up a few days ago. When those pictures of you and… is that really you with Pete Steele?"

"Yes. But I'm not willing to discuss that with you."

"Oh. Sure."

I can hear her heart breaking through the speaker. I take a deep breath. She wants me to forgive her. And I want to forgive her. But I can't do it yet… it still hurts.

I rest my head on Pete's chest. He's warm and he smells good.

He runs his hand through my hair. "Want me to take over? I have some choice words for her."

I can't help but laugh. I shake my head and turn my attention back to the call. "I don't want to hate you forever, Maddie. But I'm not ready to forgive you."

Her voice is meek. "Please, Jessie. I'm so sorry. He got all jealous when those pictures came out and started going off about how he wanted to hurt you, how he only slept with me to hurt you. It made everything clear. I never should have been with him. I never should have let you go to California. I think about calling you every night. I miss you so much. I even read the Hunger Games books to feel closer to you."

"You make it sound like it was a chore."

"No. I liked them. And you're right, Peeta is way better than Gale." She takes a deep breath. "I… I understand that I hurt you. Let me do something to make it up to you. Please."

"Eventually. I need more time first."

"How much time?"

I hold strong. "I don't know. A few more weeks at least."

"Uh… Well, you did trade up. Pete Steele is a lot hotter than Nathan."

Pete chuckles. I guess he can hear the phone. Madison is loud. I throw him a shhh look.

"My sexy librarian." He smiles. "Should I make my mouth useful?"

As soon as I'm done with this.

"Is that him?" Madison squeals.

"Yes, but I'm not going to discuss him with you."

"No. I'm not looking for gossip. I just… I hope you're happy. That you finally have someone who deserves you."

"Thank you." This is about as much of this conversation as I can take. But I can't let her go without discussing Dad. "Do you know how Dad is doing? He's been dodging my calls."

"I'm not sure. You know Dad. He could be drowning and he'd insist he's going out for a nice dip."

Sounds about right.

"I'll find out," she says. "I'm going to make this up to you. I'll call about Dad next week. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you."

"I love you too." I hang up the phone and drop it in my lap. It's the first time I've said I love you to anyone in ages. But it feels natural.

The tension in my shoulders relaxes. I'm angry at my sister, but we'll get past it. She's still my best friend.

Pete pulls me into his lap. His arms slide around my chest. His mouth hovers over my ear.

"I'm proud of you," he whispers.

"Thanks."

"She's right. About Peeta being better than Gale."

"Glad you agree."

"And about me being hotter than your ex."

"How do you know?"

"Saw pictures on your Facebook." His cheek brushes against my neck. "You have any energy left?"

"I could use another coffee."

"Tom's throwing a party tomorrow. I'd skip it, but it sounds important. He wants us to have dinner with Ophelia and Ellie first."

"Ellie?"

"Mom's girlfriend."

"Oh. Your mom is gay?"

"Yeah. You didn't know?"

"Never looked you up."

He plays with the bottom of my tank top. "You shoulda. I've been all over your Facebook."

"Really?"

"You look hot in those pictures on the beach."

"When did you look at those?"

"After we met. Had to see what I was dealing with. You should change your privacy settings. Want me to do it?"

"Well, if any pervert can see pictures of me in a bikini, yeah."

He chuckles. "I will. But I have something else to do first."

"What's that?"

"You ever watch yourself come?"

"No."

He pulls me off the couch. "Then I have to pop your cherry."

* * *

Pete leads me to the downstairs bathroom. He's aggressive and hungry as he pins me to the wall and presses his lips to mine.

We're moving quickly from conversation to kissing, but it feels right. There are so many things I can't articulate. That he can't say. But the feelings are there in our kiss. They pour between us.

He plants his body behind mine, his chest against my back, his crotch against my ass. Mmm. He's hard.

"Palms against the wall." His voice is deep, commanding. He pulls his t-shirt over his head. Pushes his boxers to his feet. "Look at the mirror, Jess."

My gaze goes right to the reflection of his eyes. There's so much desire in his expression.

"Watch how fucking sexy you are." He digs his hand through my hair, pulling my body onto his.

My cheeks flush. Can I really watch myself? I have a side view of us, from our knees all the way to the tops of our heads.

He pulls off my t-shirt. Pushes my shorts to my ankles. He has my body pinned to his.

I'm at his mercy.

I can't do anything but watch. I can see my chest, my stomach, my ass, my thighs. My glasses. I'm still in my glasses. I go to take them off but Pete stops me.

"Keep them on." He brings his hands to my hips. "This might be fast. Was thinking about you all night."

My sex clenches as I watch him position our bodies. As I watch him slide inside me.

Mmm. He always feels so good.

He kisses his way from my lips to his ear. Then he's sucking on my earlobe. One hand stays in my hair. The other stays on my hips, pinning me in place as he works his magic thrusting into me.

Pleasure knots inside me quickly. It's intense. I want to close my eyes. But I don't. I keep watching us, watching our bodies join, watching the way his thighs tense and his fingers dig into my skin.

He pulls away from my ear, watching the reflection the way I am. Damn, the way he's watching me. It makes me dizzy.

I'm almost there.

Every thrust is intense. I arch my back, rocking my hips against his. It pushes him deeper. Deeper.

"Harder," I breathe. "I want to feel you come."

He groans into my neck.

Then he's going harder. Deeper.

"Fuck." He groans. He tugs at my hair. "Fuck, Jess."

My last hint of shyness fades away. I stare at our reflection, taking in everything. None of my usual insecurities—the not quite flat stomach, the fleshy thighs, the round ass—pop out. Right now, I'm perfect.

Hell, I'm a sex goddess.

My lips part with a groan. My sex clenches. With his next thrust, I go over the edge. I scream his name again and again as I come.

I keep my gaze on the mirror, watching my muscles clench and relax, watching my teeth sink into my lips, and especially watching the pleasure spread over his face.

Damn, what an orgasm. It's not enough. I need his.

"Fuck me harder, Pete. I want to feel you come." My inhibitions are gone. My words go straight to my tongue.

He groans something incomprehensible. His grip tightens on my hips. He shifts forward, pinning me to the wall, sinking his lips into my neck.

His groans reverberate over my skin. His hand goes to my chest, playing with my nipples. Harder and harder, like he can't contain himself.

There.

His breath goes wild. His nails sink into my skin. I can feel his thighs shaking again mine, his cock pulsing inside me as he comes.

I watch his reflection—the way his eyelids squeeze together as he groans my name. Everything about his reflection is bliss. His orgasm is the best thing I've ever seen.

He keeps me pressed against the wall until he catches his breath. Then his lips are on my neck, making their way to my ear, my jaw, my cheek.

Pete turns me around. Pins me to the wall again. His eyes meet mine. He runs his fingertips along my cheek.

The expression on his face is pure affection.

I open my mouth to speak but my tongue is sticky. Screw words. I rise to my tip toes and kiss him hard. That same affection pours between us. It's still hot as hell, but it's sweeter than before.