It’s strange how being cooped up in a tiny hotel room for only a day has given me the worst case of cabin fever I’ve ever had in my life. I did as William and Sophia asked—I allowed them to put me up in a small boutique hotel room on the other side of the city, far away from the festival and the crowds.

And about as far away from Andrew as I can be while still in the same city.

From my window, I see the palace in the distance, though I’ve been trying to avoid looking at it. Even thinking about the palace makes my stomach churn with a guilt I’ve never felt. The only thing that’s made me feel even remotely better in the past twenty-four hours was the headline in today’s newspaper, announcing the return of the Amhurst Valley rights to Montovia.

Reginald might be a huge prick, but he’s an honest one.

I did the right thing for this country. I probably did the right thing for Andrew, too, though nothing about what’s happened feels right on a personal level. At least now I understand why he’s had to make the sacrifices he has—I know exactly what it feels like to give up your life for the good of your country.

It sucks.

I’m not really sure what I’m still doing here. I promised Sophia I’d stay through the masquerade ball, but I can’t be with Andrew there. She explained how the royal family does its big reveal at midnight and the rest of the citizens follow, all removing their masks.

It’s too risky for me to attend. Reginald will almost certainly be there, and he’ll almost certainly be watching, making sure I’m holding up my end of the bargain.

It’s the right thing to do for this country.

I have to remind myself of it constantly. It would be so easy—too easy—to go running back to Andrew and have him take me in his arms. But it would undo all the good that’s come from my decision. And for as much as it is tearing me apart from the inside, there’s a small part of me that knows I’ll be okay because I did what I did for the right reasons.

It has to be how Andrew justified his whole pageant thing. How he’s justified everything stupid he’s done.

I’m about to bounce off the walls of my room when there’s finally a knock on my door. Sophia is there with my gown in her hand.

She walks through the doorway, edging around me before I can extend her an invitation. I peek out into the hallway before I close the door—there’s a part of me that hopes she brought Andrew with her, but a bigger part of me knows she would never risk it.

Sophia frowns. “He’s not here, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

I nod. “I know. I just…”

She clasps my forearm for a moment before releasing me. “He’ll be there tonight, though. It’s why you must come—”

“It’s why I must not come. I mean…I’ll go. I’ll watch. But I’m not going to let myself get caught up in the party. I’ll be gone before everyone removes their masks at midnight.”

She frowns and searches my eyes. “Is that really what you want?”

“Of course it isn’t what I want. But it’s the only option. Reginald and his father already announced they were going to turn over the rights to your valley. You don’t really think they did that out of the kindness of their hearts, do you?”

She pauses for a moment. “No. I don’t think anything of the sort. But I do know William has been working on another angle—”

“No more angles.” I shake my head. “No more tricks. No more games. No more drama. I’m done with it. I did what I needed to do. I did what was best to keep the peace between your two countries. And I’m sorry I ever got caught up in it. I should have just stayed in Oregon—I should have never let Andrew talk me into coming back here.”

Sophia looks like she might cry. “I know you don’t mean that, Victoria. You’re in love with my brother. And he’s very much in love with you. I…I don’t know very much about love. But I know it when I see it. I see it with my parents. I see it with Leopold and Elle. And I see it with you…with you and Andrew.”

I can only shake my head. “And while that might be true, sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.”

“Perhaps not.” She stands taller, probably trying to hide the emotion I can still see in her eyes. “I’ve brought your dress.” She nods toward the garment bag draped over her arm.

“As long as the mask covers my face and no one can recognize me, I don’t think the dress matters—”

I’m interrupted by the crestfallen look on her face, and I try to cover my words as quickly as I can. “What I mean is, I’m sure it’s a beautiful gown. The one you brought me before was so lovely.”

“Yes…” She’s trying to cover the pain in her voice, and my stomach twists with guilt as I realize how I’ve insulted her. “I’ve had to make a few adjustments to this one. Your costumes were meant to match.” Her voice falls to barely above a whisper. “Yours and Andrew’s.”

I nod and take the garment bag from her. “I’m sure it’s beautiful, Sophia. And I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” I reach out and squeeze her forearm. “Everything. And I mean that.”

She nods.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you. I…I’m just—”

“You’re heartbroken.” She looks at me for a long moment. “You should know, though, Victoria… We all are. For both you and my brother.”

I can’t really say anything to that. I suppose she’s right.

She motions to the door. “I should return to the palace. A carriage will be waiting for you in an hour. I…” She frowns again. “I’ll try to find you.”

I want to tell her not to bother, but I don’t. I nod instead. “Okay.”

She nods in return. “Please, Victoria, promise you’ll go. I can’t promise anything is going to happen… I can’t promise a fairy tale. But…” Her shoulders fall. “Please promise you’ll go.”

I look at her for a long moment. I can’t deny I’ve thought about skipping the entire thing to find my way to the train station instead. But I did promise her I’d wear her gown. And I would like to see Andrew one last time, even if I can’t speak to him. Even if I can’t dance with him or hold him or have him hold me. I need to see him one last time, if only for the closure it will bring me.

So I nod at her again. “Okay, Sophia. I promise.”

And I might be a monster for having done what I’ve done to Andrew. But I’m at least an honest monster.