Chapter 3

When her man slept, he slept like the dead. Ella smiled ruefully. Not that they’d ever done much sleeping. A sharp pang hit her heart. He wasn’t hers anymore, was he? She drew in a deep breath, hoping to find the calm center that had served her so well during the last year. Now wasn’t the time to deal with what she’d left behind. She had to keep him safe in the here and now so she could hopefully explain everything to him when the time was right.

She’d taken down the remaining four attackers, and then the Piper had helped her relocate Jude to another safe house on the outskirts of Sarajevo. This one belonged to a longtime Endgame associate, Adam Babic.

Ella had to make sure Jude was okay before she took off. Adam would handle Jude’s safety until he woke. The Piper was doing his best to find out who had sent the two teams of killers after her. Ella thought it could be any number of people, though she’d ruled out Segorski fairly quickly. He wanted her alive, and it was clear by the shock-and-awe method of attack that the teams had been there to eliminate their target, not capture.

An insidious thought crept in. Maybe they hadn’t come for her at all. Maybe the two teams of assassins had followed the Piper. Ella acknowledged the goose bumps breaking out on her skin. Fear was a fine emotion. It kept you sharp. But Ella hadn’t been born to this life like Jude had. She’d been trained, but being a soldier wasn’t in the fabric of her bones, and the fear was her friend and foe. She had to work to overcome it.

If they’d followed the Piper, that meant someone was onto him. He had suspected for a while that someone even higher up in the presidential administration than him had been gunning for him. They’d started by trying to take out Endgame. It wasn’t common knowledge that Noah Caine, a.k.a. the Piper, had created a private spec ops entity, but it wasn’t buried six feet deep either. On paper, they provided logistical support and security for private contractors rebuilding countries like Afghanistan and Iraq. It was unspoken but understood that they delved into the gray whenever they needed to. Whose feet had the Piper stepped on? Or was it just Dresden?

Ella needed to have a little sit-down with the Piper. It really was time he came clean on some things.

She rested her head on the bed beside Jude’s arm. She was so damn tired.

“He’s got to stop.” One of the men who’d cost her damn near everything had entered the room. Ella sighed soundlessly.

“He’ll never stop. I told you that, and you said you could handle him, keep him busy on missions that wouldn’t get him killed and keep him far from Dresden,” she reminded the Piper. She stopped for a moment and really looked at him. “You look really tired, old man.”

He snorted before rubbing his eyes. “I am old. Too old for this shit.”

Ella shrugged. “You set the board, and now moves are being made. This was what it was all about,” she bit out.

The Piper nodded. “I did my best, but the bastard just keeps coming, doesn’t he?” There was a rueful note in his voice as he disregarded her comment.

“Yeah,” she returned. “He does.”

She raised her head and stared at Jude. His eyes remained closed, but she felt his attention. He was awake. Ella stood and moved away from the bed. Jude’s eyes opened immediately, the black of his gaze snaring her, refusing to let her leave completely.

Always it was Jude. In every dream, in every breath, it was always Jude.

She watched him, noticing the exact instant he realized he was strapped to the bed. He tugged on each arm once and relaxed. Or at least he appeared to relax. With Jude, that was never reality. He was ready for anything at all times.

“Take them off,” he demanded in a deep voice. His gaze never left hers.

She opened her mouth—to say what, she didn’t know—but the Piper beat her to it. “No.”

Jude continued to stare at Ella. “Take them off, or when I get free I’ll make you both pay.”

There was so much in his gaze. Questions, pain, rage—the tangle of emotions traveled the air between them. And Ella was in no position to give him the answers or assurances he needed from her. Had needed for over a year now.

“Jude—” she began.

“I don’t deal with traitors,” he bit out.

Oh, that hurt. Cut bone deep and left her bleeding inside.

“No one has asked you to, son,” the Piper said, his voice now low and carrying a hint of frustration. “Then again, no one here is a traitor.”

The skin over Jude’s cheekbones went ruddy. Ella had really only seen it do that when he was buried inside her, so it was unique to see it now, and for an entirely different emotion. He was furious. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about that.

Jude’s gaze finally shifted to the creator of Endgame Ops. “Take off the restraints.”

The Piper shook his head and stepped beside the bed. “No. There is work to be done, and while I would love nothing more than to release you, we appear to have different objectives. Ella Banning has a mission to complete, and you, Dagan, have to return to your team. If I let you out of the restraints, you’ll take her, and I know what you’re apparently blind to. She’ll go with you, willingly, if it means you stay safe. And that will destroy any chance we have of finding out who is pulling Horace Dresden’s strings.”

Jude sat abruptly, reclining one second, upright the next. The chains attached to the leather cuffs on his arms and legs jangled against the metal framework of the bed he was on. The sound was strident, and Ella winced. The Piper shifted to his right. Her back snapped straight, and she reached for the weapon in her side holster, snapping the strap holding it in place.

Jude’s head rotated, and once again she was pinned under his night-sky gaze. “You gonna shoot me, Ella-Bella?”

Her breath left her in a rush. He doubted her and it—hurt. She would never shoot Jude. But she’d earned his doubt and would have to carry it with her when she left. The Piper’s head swiveled in her direction, and his pupils dilated. He lowered the hand that had been reaching for his weapon and took a small step back from Jude.

“I wouldn’t shoot him,” the Piper said wearily.

“I wouldn’t let you,” she responded, making sure her voice didn’t waver but conveyed her intent.

“I’m going to reach for my pocket, Ella. I’ve got something to leave Dagan.” The Piper waited for her nod and reached in, pulling out a sheet of paper. He set the paper on the small table beside the bed and stepped away again.

“We have a plane to catch,” the Piper tossed in her direction as he left the room. “Say what you need to say, and let’s go.”

Ella closed her eyes and drew on the dwindling core of strength inside her. She could leave him again. She had to.

“Don’t do this, Ella.” Jude’s voice reached inside her, and whether he would ever know it or not, it bolstered that failing strength. “Whatever has happened, let me help you.”

Ella allowed her gaze to rove over his big body, up his wide chest and up farther over his face. She appreciated his tanned skin and the black hair that had a tendency to curl when he let it grow past the shorter style he preferred. She prized the bump in the bridge of his nose. She treasured his ebony eyes. She had always enjoyed his big hands and the tensile power of his corded, muscular body. She cherished his pride, his loyalty, and the way he had shown her he was hers. He wasn’t a beautiful man; he had been too much of a soldier not to bear the scars of his profession. But he was sexy as hell, and to her, he was everything.

She loved Jude Dagan. She always would.

Ella pushed down every bit of love and loss she felt, burying it under her duty.

“I had hoped you’d never see me again. That I’d never have to see you and remember what I’ve given up. But we rarely get what we want.” She spoke quietly as she walked to the end of the bed. “Sometimes though, you have a chance to apologize.”

He laughed, and it was harsh in the silence of the room. “Is that why you’re standing there? To apologize?”

Ella allowed a smile to curve her lips before shaking her head. “No. It’s not time yet to apologize for the things I’ve done. You, probably much like King, will think what you want. It’s not my job to change your mind or bury myself in recriminations.”

He sighed and rattled his bindings again. “Then what the hell is your job, Ella?”

“Why, it’s the same job we’ve had for nearly two years, Jude.” She saw him wince and knew instinctively it was because she’d used his first name. Yet another thing she loved about the man before her…his name. “Destroying Horace Dresden.”

“Then let me go, and let me help you,” he said, more demand than request.

She straightened then, giving him the full force of her gaze. “You need to return to Endgame. Following me will get you nowhere but dead. Go home, Jude, to your teammates.”

“It’s time, Ella.” The Piper’s voice rang out from the other room.

She would try one more time. “Don’t come after me.” She let her gaze slide once more over the man who owned her heart, body, and soul. Then she turned.

She’d made it to the doorway when he spoke.

“I’ll come after you. I’ll never stop coming after you. You owe me the truth. And I owe you for what you allowed to happen to Micah and Nina. You almost killed us all. Dresden would have loved that, wouldn’t he?”

She breathed in deeply through the pain of his words. She hadn’t set up what happened that night in the desert surrounding Beirut, but she’d definitely taken advantage of it. Micah Samson had been one of Jude’s best friends, and he’d fallen that night. Nina had been one of Ella’s, and she’d fallen back in DC, before they ever set foot on the C-130 headed to Beirut. Both of their losses haunted her. She had no choice but to push through it.

She took another step, and again his words stopped her.

“One more thing… When I find you, and I will find you, I will make you pay for this, Ella. I thought my life ended when I saw you die in Beirut. But if you make me hunt you down again, what I do when I find you will destroy us both. I’ll say it one more time: don’t do this. Make me understand, Ella. Let me help you.” His voice was sandpaper over gravel by the time he finished.

And she was shredded by it. She glanced over her shoulder at him. His face was ravaged by what he’d gone through over her. Such a strong man, his purpose embedded in the framework of his bones—and she’d nearly broken him. She was scalded by the rage in his eyes, but it was nothing less than she deserved.

He’d move on from her. And even though a tiny part of her, the most jealous part, prayed he never forgot what they had shared together, the bigger part prayed he did indeed move on. Because Ella was living on borrowed time. She had resigned herself to her fate when she’d agreed to work with the Piper. She would probably die ending Dresden. There was nothing for her with Jude, no matter how much both of them wished it could be so.

“I said I wouldn’t apologize, but as fickle as fate is, this might be my last chance,” she whispered. She lowered her head, unable to look at him and still have the strength to walk away. “I love you, Jude Dagan. I will always love you. I’m sorry.”

Then she walked away, hearing him curse her and struggle against his bonds.