Chapter Four
Chanel
“All right chica, I’m here,” I called out as I stood at Jason and Tori’s door. My brother’s home was almost something out of Leave It to Beaver. At just over three thousand square feet, the entire home was encased in red brick siding and red and white windowpanes.
Tori stood by the opened door, mean mugging me with her hand on her hip. I knew she was pissed that it had taken me this long to visit. I’d been MIA over the last month. I finally agreed to get together that Saturday for lunch. After my therapy session earlier, I’d stopped by a restaurant and picked up lunch for all of us.
“Don’t look at me like that. I brought pizza!” I grinned, holding up the two boxes in my hands.
Tori’s brown eyes narrowed. Despite her less than sunny disposition at the moment, my sister-in-law was glowing in her off-the-shoulder gray bodysuit. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, and her honey-toned face was bare of any makeup.
“Auntie Nel!” an excited voice called from just behind Tori.
My smile grew tenfold as I peered down at my two-year old niece, Amalia. “Hi, baby!” I squealed. My eyes watered, looking down into her baby face. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed my niece and nephew until then.
“Auntie Nel!” Jason Jr. squealed. “Oh, pizza!”
I laughed. “See, now you have to let me in,” I told Tori.
“Hey, Chanel,” she finally spoke before taking a step back to allow me to enter. “Come on. They’ll follow the pizza.”
As stated, the twins followed Tori and me down the long hallway to the kitchen, giggling the whole way. I placed the pizza boxes on the kitchen island where Tori had already set up some of our lunch.
“I made a Greek salad and peach iced tea.”
I looked at the salad and pitcher of iced tea with slices of peaches in it. “Looks delicious. Jason’s not here?”
“No, he had an unexpected meeting with a client this morning. He just texted me a little while ago saying it’s running over.” She shrugged. “He’ll be in eventually. Come on, guys,” she said to the twins. We opted to eat in the less formal dining area that was next to the open kitchen space. I helped Amalia into one of the chairs. I shook my head at Tori as I stood up.
“I don’t know how on earth you have these light colors in here with two toddlers running around.” Tori and Jason’s kitchen and living room areas were decorated in creams and light blues. The dining table and chairs were constructed of a dark wood, but the seat cushions were cream. I cringed at the thought of how frequently they had to clean and replace their pillows and cushions.
Tori rolled her eyes playfully. “Tell me about it. My mother tried to warn me, but you know how hardheaded I can be. I just had to have it like the vision in my head.”
“And I bet my brother couldn’t say no to you.”
“After carrying his twins? Tuh!”
We both laughed as we plated the food and brought it over to the table.
As soon as the cutup pieces of pizza were in front of them, Jason Jr. and Amalia went to town, joyfully spreading pizza sauce everywhere. I’m pretty certain even some managed to make its way into their mouths.
“This salad is delicious. What dressing did you use for it?” I questioned Tori.
“It’s this new dressing I found while shopping this week. I didn’t feel like making the dressing, so I opted for store-bought. It’s good, huh?”
I nodded as I swallowed.
“What’ve you been up to lately?”
“Just working,” I answered, looking down at my plate.
“That’s it?”
I gave a one shoulder shrug.
“Jason told me about you storming into your father’s office the other week.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course, he did. “You’re not going to tell me how he would never do anything like that, are you?”
Tori shook her head and placed her uneaten pizza crust on her plate. “Nope. Lord knows, we all have our issues with our parents. That’s one relationship I’m not going to interfere with. I’m just worried about you. After everything happened, you kinda just disappeared, which is a bit of a habit of yours. And then Xavier’s been out of town for like a month or so, and I don’t know what happened there…” She trailed off, obviously hoping I’d fill in the blanks somewhere.
I hesitated.
“Done, Mommy!” Jason Jr. shouted.
Tori and I both looked over to see that his plate was nearly clean, except for a few pieces of crust.
“Did you finish your juice?”
He picked up his sippy cup, brought it to his mouth and dramatically tilted his head all the way back, so the bottom of the cup was in the air.
“Done!” he answered, plopping the empty cup back on the table.
“Amalia, you too?”
“Yes!” her sweet little voice answered.
“Okay, let’s get you both cleaned up.” Tori and I stood, she wiped down Jason Jr. while I helped clean off Amalia’s face and hands. “Go put your plates and cups in the kitchen sink, and you can go to your playroom. Auntie Nel and I will be there in a minute,” Tori instructed after we helped them down from their chairs. The kids scurried off, placed their plates on the counter in the kitchen, and ran to the back of the house where their playroom was.
“Now, back to you,” Tori stated.
I gave her a half-smile. “I guess disappearing is a little bit of a habit for me,” I echoed her earlier comment. “It’s just what I do. After what happened, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just buried myself in work.”
“And Xavier? You didn’t want to talk to him either?”
“The opposite. He didn’t want to talk to me.”
Tori made an inquisitive expression. “You know I’m going to need more details than that.”
I sighed. “Honestly, Tori, I’m still figuring it all out. I don’t know what went wrong between Xavier and I. I mean, I did lie to him about my ex.”
“That piece of shit.”
I smirked at the mumbled curse. “Yeah, Ethan was a piece of shit when we were together.” I sighed, running my hand through my hair. “Anyway, I don’t know. Xavier and I haven’t talked since that day. And I haven’t been sleeping well at all. So, I went to my first therapy appointment this morning,” I admitted.
Tori looked at me with a semi-shocked look that changed into a more satisfied one. “Good. I’m glad you’re getting help with all this. I mean, between your ex and what happened with your client a few months ago…”
I nodded in understanding but remained silent. “Anyway, can we talk about something else? It’s been a heavy morning.”
Tori gave me a sympathetic look. “Sure. I’m just glad you’re here. Come see the latest project I’m working on in my art class before the kids pull you into one of their games.”
We quickly cleared the table and made our way down the hall to the room Tori had turned into her art studio. Even though it had taken me weeks to do so, I was glad to finally be hanging out with my sister-in-law and the kids again. I’d missed them dearly during my self-imposed isolation.
****
Xavier
I climbed out of my Model X in front of Jay’s home and pulled up short when I didn’t see his car in the driveway. Instead, there was a cherry red Tesla Model S sitting there. I knew whom that vehicle belonged to. My head told me to turn around and hop right back in my car, but the unnatural pull I felt toward the owner of that vehicle had me walking up to the front door and knocking before I could recall moving.
“Coming!” Tori called out, sounding rushed. “Xavier, hey, I didn’t know you were coming by today. Jay’s—”
“At work, but he said he’d be in soon,” I blurted, cutting her off and looking over her head to see the rest of the house.
“Hello to you too,” Tori retorted, annoyed.
“Hey. Sorry.” I apologized for my rudeness, but still took glances behind her. She twisted her head to look over her shoulder and then turned back to me with an amused expression.
“Looking for someone?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Where is she?” No need to play games. We both knew damn well I was looking for Chanel. Her car in the driveway and the smile that played at Tori’s lips all told me she was there. I stepped through the door and closed it behind me while Tori kept that goofy ass grin on her face.
“Well?”
“You two are a trip.” She sighed.
My patience was growing thinner by the second. I hadn’t seen Chanel in more than a month, save for the brief exchange we’d shared at the restaurant earlier that week. And yes, not seeing Chanel or communicating with her was mostly my doing, but now that she was this close again, every cell in my body ignited with the yearning to lay my eyes on her.
“Tori, who’s—?”
My back straightened as my eyes flew to the sound of that voice. My stomach tightened as soon as our eyes locked on one another.
“Oh.” Chanel was the first to break eye contact, her gaze skirting around the room before finally landing on Tori. “Um, I was just going to say goodbye to Jason Jr. and Amalia before I head out.” She quickly turned and headed in the opposite direction, where I knew the kid’s playroom was.
I frowned and took one look at Tori before stepping around her and making a beeline for Chanel. Not only was I pissed she didn’t even bother saying hello to me, but now she was practically sprinting down the hall to get away from me.
“What the—?” she started, when I grabbed her elbow from behind. Instead of allowing her to proceed, I pulled her into one of the guest bedrooms, shutting the door behind me.
“What the hell are you doing?”
The way her lips were downturned and arms folded over her breasts spoke to how pissed she was at my interruption. I stared, drinking her in. It’d been weeks since I’d been this close to her. My eyes drank in her whole body from head to toe. The black skinny jeans she wore hugged the legs that I’d loved so much, and the beige flowy top complimented her dark brown skin to perfection. Even the healed booties on her feet that had a peep toe allowing me to see the bright pink coloring of her toenails looked great on her. It’d become a habit of mine, committing every detail about this woman to memory, every time I saw her.
“How are you?” I finally asked.
She refused to look me in the eye, and that pissed me off. “Like you care,” she scoffed and attempted to take a step around me to the door. She halted when I took a side step as well, cutting off her access to the only exit.
My frown deepened. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
This time she did look at me. “Exactly what I said. Can I pass, please?”
“No.”
She huffed, refolded her arms and stared at me, tapping her foot.
I stood there staring at her face. “You haven’t been sleeping.”
She squinted at me. “How would you know that?”
“I can see it in your eyes.” I’d noticed it at the sushi restaurant too. Her makeup was immaculate, and I’m sure most people wouldn’t notice the slight bags, but those people weren’t me.
“I’m fine.” She dropped her arms and attempted another time to step around me, but I wasn’t about to let that happen.
“You’re lying. Again.” That came out a little more accusatory than I’d intended.
“You don’t have to worry about whether I’m lying or not. I’m no longer your problem, remember? You made that quite clear when you walked out on me.”
Damn, her words were like a dagger right to my chest. I could see the look of hurt in her eyes, and wanted nothing more than to take it away. I knew I’d walked out on her and made it seem like I didn’t give a shit anymore, but nothing could be further from the truth.
“Chanel, I didn’t walk out on you.”
She dropped her head and gave the are you serious? face.
“I mean, I did, but I didn’t. Shit.” This was more complicated than I cared to explain in my best friend’s guest bedroom. “I walked out, yes. But it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”
She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “What the hell else would it mean? You know what? I don’t even care at this point. You’ve made your position clear. Just stay away from me, and I’ll do the same for you. I’m leaving anyway. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
This time when she stepped around me, I didn’t make a move to stop her. I didn’t want to see her leave, but I still had shit to figure out on my own. And I couldn’t explain that to her if I couldn’t figure it out myself. What I do know is that when I heard her mumbled goodbyes to Tori and the kids, followed by the closing of the front door, my heart sank. I don’t know how long I stood there, hands in my pockets, debating whether I should go after her, but eventually, I heard Jason’s voice enter the house. I finally made my decision to leave things with Chanel as they were for now. I knew, inevitably, we’d see each other again.
****
After spending a few hours over at Jason’s watching one of the early season football games, followed by dinner, I made my way over to Grant’s to speak with the restaurant manager. He was going out of town on vacation the following week and since we’d had a hard time finding an interim manager, I’d be taking over that responsibility. It was honestly the last thing I needed with everything else I had going on, but Mike, Grant’s manager, had planned the vacation months ago.
Once I was up to speed on everything at Grant’s, I still wasn’t ready to go home. On a perfect Saturday night, I’d usually find myself in the company of someone of the opposite sex. As of late, that had been the one woman who obviously didn’t want to see me right now. And she was the only woman that I’d want to spend a Saturday night with. So, instead of scrolling through the list of women in my phone, I hit the button to call the one who’d given me life.
“Hey, baby.”
My mother’s voice alone had the edges of my lips turning up. “Hey, Ma. You busy?”
“Never too busy for you. What’s up?”
“Not much. I’m just getting out of Grant’s and didn’t feel like going home just yet. You up for some company? I’ve got food.”
“You already know the answer to that.”
I grinned. “I’ll be there in twenty.” I disconnected the call and made the turn out of Grant’s parking lot that pointed toward the house I’d grown up in.
“I know you brought me some crab cakes,” my mom stated as soon as she opened the door. Before I could respond, I heard the high-pitched barking of her beloved Pomeranian, Pumpkin.
“And they’re for you, not that damn dog,” I told her as I stepped inside the door and shut it behind me.
“I can’t help it if your restaurant’s food is a delicacy to Pumpkin.”
I laughed as I pulled her into a hug and then handed her the to-go bag from Grant’s.
“Mmm, smells like macaroni and cheese is in here too. I’m going to have to increase my cardio at the gym this week to work these calories off. But it’s so worth it.”
I gave my mother a grin. At five-four with her slim build, my mother often had to eat more than her fair share just to keep the weight on. But she loved being active. She’d first joined a gym ten years ago when a doctor informed her she needed to do something about her rising blood pressure and cholesterol. She took to it like a fish to water, even cutting out most meat and junk food from her diet.
“You don’t need to do shit.”
“Watch your mouth, boy. I’m still your mama.”
I dipped my head giving her that yes, ma’am look I’d perfected as a child.
“You want this now or want me to put it in the fridge for tomorrow?” I asked as we entered the kitchen.
“It’s a little late. Put it in the fridge, but pull out the sliced lemon on the door there.”
I did as ordered and turned back to the kitchen island to see my mother placing her black tea kettle on the stove. I already knew what time it was.
“You want to start talking now or wait until the tea is ready?”
I shook my head, amused. “We can wait. Tell me about your week.”
“Or month, since that’s how long it’s been since I last saw you.”
“Ma, we FaceTimed just the other day.”
“FaceTime is not the same as seeing you in person, but we’ll get to that later,” she said, waving her hand dismissively.
I pulled out a stool from the island and sat down, admiring the remodeling work. They’d knocked out the back wall, extending the size of the kitchen and installed the island, put all new built-in appliances, and an overhead rack where my mom stored her pots and pans. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why she wanted the overhead rack, as short as she was, but she wanted it. Wasn’t my job to say anything, just sign the checks, but it did come out great. My mom was an excellent cook and for years had wanted a bigger kitchen, although she refused to do any renovating herself or let me purchase her a bigger home. It’d taken years to convince her to let me do the damn remodeling. My current home could fit two or three of her homes inside, but she still worried about my pockets no matter how much I told her I could afford to give her whatever she wanted.
“My week’s been pretty good. I got my hair dyed and trimmed with Judy earlier this week,” she informed me, patting the sides of her twist out. “I considered letting the gray just come in and do its thing, but forget all that aging gracefully nonsense.” We both laughed. “I figure when I turn seventy is when I’ll finally stop dyeing. Work was busy as usual. We took on a new client who’s going through an audit, so they were freaking out. With good reason too, the IRS is coming for them hard. And the SEC. It’s going to be a mess for the next couple of months, and then we have to start getting ready for tax season. Oh, and I went out with Todd again this week.”
I gave her a curious look at that last statement. She turned and moved to the stove when the tea kettle began whistling. Todd was a man she’d been seeing for a couple of weeks now. It wasn’t the fact that she was seeing someone. It was the little twinkle in her eye that she got when talking about him.
They’d met at work. He was the owner of a landscaping company and used her firm to handle his taxes and investments. That was what she’d told me of him so far, but I made a mental note to have a guy I know run a background check on this Todd.
“I’d like you to meet him.”
I looked up at my mother, surprised. “It’s that serious, huh?”
“I think so.”
“If it’s that serious to you, then I definitely would like to meet him.” I made a mental note to step up that background check.
“Honey?” my mother asked, grabbing my attention.
I looked up to see her holding a jar of raw honey.
I took it. “Thanks, Ma.” We let our teabags seep in relative silence for a few minutes.
“Now.” My mother brought her tea
cup to her lips. “Wanna tell me why you’re over my place at close to ten o’clock at night instead of with, oh I don’t know, that lovely woman you’ve been getting cozy with over the last few months? The one who also happens to be the younger sister of your best friend?”
I smirked and shook my head, but not in an amused way. “You should look up the definition of subtlety, Ma.”
“What for?” She gave me a look, daring me to answer.
“No reason at all. And to answer your original question, Chanel and I are, uh, on a break.”
“A break? What does that even mean?”
I rubbed my hand down the side of my face and over my jaw. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got nothing but time,” she stated, bringing her tea cup to her mouth.
I snorted, shaking my head and sighed. “Well, I’m assuming you saw that article that came out about her ex.”
My mother nodded.
“Yeah, well, that shit pissed me off, and I ended up walking out on her. That was the last time we’ve spoken. Until today, that is.”
“Wait, you walked out on her because you found out her ex-fiancé hit her?” The way she tilted her head and lowered her eyelids made me feel like shit.
“Damn, Ma, you’re making me feel like an asshole.”
“That’s an asshole move.”
That’s my mother. She was loving when she needed to be, but pulled no punches when needed either.
“Thanks,” I added sarcastically. “But that wasn’t why I walked out. I could understand why Chanel kept her past a secret.” Hell, I saw the shame in her eyes when she saw that article. “It was the idea of her seeing him again and putting herself in danger like that, and with her clients. She was almost killed by a madman who murdered his own family. How the hell could she be that damn careless?” My fists tightened reflexively as the image of Chanel sitting across the table from her ex, their hands in one another's. That shit made me squirm in my seat.
My mother stared at me over the brim of her teacup for a long while. “You sure you’re talking about Chanel?”
My eyes shot back to hers. I didn’t even bother to reply to that statement, and thankfully my mother didn’t push that issue any further.
“And you said you saw her today for the first time since you walked out?”
“Nah, we saw each other briefly at a restaurant the other week, but it was just in passing. Today she was at Jay’s when I went to visit.”
“And?”
“And shit.” I shrugged.
“Boy, that mouth of yours.”
“My bad, Ma. When I saw her, I kinda pulled her into one of Jay’s guestrooms to ask her how she was. I could tell she hasn’t been sleeping well.” I remembered the forlorn look in her eyes and the way it tugged at my damn heartstrings. “I didn’t get much else out of her before she stormed out and left.”
“Kinda like you did, huh?”
Now it was my turn to tilt my head and give her the same stare she’d given me a few moments before.
“Hey, don’t get upset with me. You know you love that girl, and you walked out because of your past, but you’re playing it like it was her keeping all the secrets. I raised you better than that.”
I opened and closed my mouth a few times, but nothing came out. My mother had pulled my card.
“Oh, that reminds me, Walter called today.”
I smacked my lips, immediately angered at the mention of his name.
“What’d he want?” Walter was, in the biological sense, my father. But since the man barely had a hand in raising me, I didn’t feel a need to speak to him now that I was an adult. Every few months, he’d try to reach me via my office since he didn’t have my personal phone numbers or email, and when he couldn’t reach me there—because my assistant had strict instructions not to let him through—he’d reach out to my mother.
“Same thing he always wants. To see how you were doing and to speak with you.”
“You didn’t give him my number, right?”
She twisted her lips up. “Who do you think you’re talking to? I know you don’t want him to have it.”
“Good. I still don’t know why you haven’t blocked him from calling you.”
She shrugged. “I feel bad for him.”
I lowered my chin toward her.
“I do,” she protested. “You’re honestly the best thing Walter ever did, except he didn’t do anything besides, you know, the whole getting me pregnant part. His marriage fell apart; his other two kids are a mess.”
My mother was putting it mildly. Walter Jackson was recruited in the first round of the NBA draft after his senior year of college. I was about a year-and-a-half old by then, and the only reason he even acknowledged me was because my mother had gone to court to get a DNA test. He only played one season in the NBA before an injury sidelined his career. He became a sports agent a few years after that and got married and had two more kids. His marriage only lasted five years, due to his constant philandering, and his other two sons had both dropped out of high school and experienced some legal troubles.
After the DNA test had proved I was Walter’s son, my paternal grandmother and Aunt Lisa made it a point to be a part of my life. My grandmother passed away five years earlier and my aunt...well, that’s another story. Since the death of my grandmother, my father tried to get in contact with me every few months.
“He made his bed,” I scoffed.
“That he did.” I appreciated the fact that my mother didn’t attempt to guilt me into calling Walter. I’d made my feelings very clear on Walter years ago, and aside from telling me when he called, she respected the boundaries I set.
“Have you ever considered more counseling?” my mother suddenly asked.
I gave my mother a perplexed look.
“Xavier, I know you hated it the first time around, but considering where you are in your current relationship status with Chanel, and what happened to your Aunt Lisa? Plus, your less than stellar relationship with Walter? I just think some counseling might help. You never—”
“Okay, Ma. I get it,” I cut her off, not wanting to hear any more. I’d only ever went to counseling at my mother’s insistence when I was younger. I stopped going when I felt I had no use for it and right now I didn’t want to talk about it any further.
“I’ll drop it for now,” my mother said, after a long silence. “Oh, before I forget.” She held up her pointer finger, telling me to hang on. She left the kitchen and turned right down the hall where her home office, my old bedroom, was. When she returned, there was an envelope in her hands. “I need to give these back to you.”
I crinkled my brows looking down at the envelope that read Chariot Cruises. It was the cruise I’d bid on months ago at the fundraiser for The Law Office of Combs & Combs. I’d won the bid and given the tickets to my mother.
“Why?”
“I have a work conference in Hawaii the week of the cruise.”
“You have a work conference in Hawaii?” I gave her a suspicious look.
“Yes. Our annual conference is usually somewhere like New York or Boston, but the bigwigs decided to change it this year, and I’m not missing a paid trip to Hawaii. I’m making sure to extend my trip a few days to make the most of it. I’ve been to Mexico before, but this will be my first time in Hawaii.” She referred to the cruise’s destination.
“A’ight. I’ll see if one of my employees wants to go on the cruise.”
“Or, you could go. There’re two tickets. You could, I don’t know, take someone.”
I just shook my head as I picked up the envelope containing the two tickets. “I’ll consider it.” I stood from my seat. “I’m gonna get out of here and let you get some sleep.”
“All right, baby. Thanks for bringing me those delicious crab cakes.”
“You’re welcome.” I pressed a kiss to her cheek before turning and heading out the door. “Don’t forget to put the lock on.”
“Boy, bye!” my mother called out, closing the door. I stood by until I heard the click of the lock.
I climbed in my car, still feeling unsettled after talking with my mother, especially after she’d brought up my aunt’s name. That made me think about Chanel and the way she looked when she’d said that I didn’t care. That hurt me to my core. I spent the drive home with the image of that look of hurt on her face in my mind and those words ringing in my ears.
When I pulled into the driveway of my house, instead of getting out, I just stared at my front door. I loved my home, but at that moment it felt so empty. Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled up my contacts list on my phone. I pressed the name that read “Baby Girl.” Shit was corny, I know, but that’s what she was.
“Hello?” A groggy voice broke through my thoughts.
“Were you sleeping?”
“Xavier?”
“Who else?”
She snorted, and that made me grin a little. Just the sound of her voice did that.
“It’s close to midnight.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Are you okay?”
“Not really.”
I heard some rustling in the background and envisioned her sitting up from underneath the covers on her bed.
“What’s going on?”
“Why did you have to go see him?” The question came out angrier than I’d intended, but it had been on my mind for the last month. How could she see, let alone speak to someone who’d done what he did to her? For weeks, I went to sleep with the image of her bruised face on my mind, and it took everything in me not to hurt someone. Shit, that image even had me spazzing out at my best friend for not protecting his sister. I still had a private investigator looking for Ethan Miller, but so far, he was still in the wind.
“Xavier, what do you want me to say?”
“Say something,” I implored.
She breathed out heavily. “Is this because you think I still had feelings for Ethan?”
“Don’t say his name,” I growled.
A sigh from the other end of the phone.
“It wasn’t like that, okay? What does it even matter anymore? You’ve made your decision.”
“What decision? I haven’t said anything.”
“Exactly. You gave me your ass to kiss when you walked out, refusing to take any of my calls for weeks. Going out of town and not bothering to tell me when you’d be back. Now you’re calling at midnight on a Saturday night. What, you couldn’t find another woman to occupy your time tonight?”
I simply looked at the screen in my car. Was she serious? “There is no other woman. What are you talking about?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Tension and anger filled her voice. “I’m going to try and get some sleep. Goodbye.”
Not goodnight. Goodbye. It had that permanent ring to it that just didn’t sit well with me.
I don’t know why I’d called Chanel. I obviously hadn’t gotten whatever answers I was looking for. Licking my wounds from being hung up on, I finally climbed out of my car and dragged myself to my front door. As I crossed over the threshold into my home, I told myself the next time that Chanel and I talked would be in person, where she couldn’t hang up on me, and I wouldn’t be letting her storm off as easily as I had that afternoon.