Chapter 13
Zach said a curse word with every passing second as he waited for the elevator to reach his and Noah’s floor. He’d received a call from Cameron about twenty minutes ago, telling him Noah needed him to come home. He didn’t know what the fuck was going on, but it was bad if Cameron was involved.
This was his fault. Whatever had happened was his fault because he hadn’t had the balls to tell Noah how he really felt about him. The look in Noah’s eyes that morning when he’d left him had damned near destroyed him. Why was he so fucked up? Why did he allow his father to still control his life? Other than Connor and Denala, Noah was the only good thing in his life…the only real thing.
He never should have left him when it had been so plain to see how badly he was hurting. The doors slid open, and he let himself into Noah’s apartment as quickly as the locking mechanisms would allow. Once inside, he heard voices yelling down the hall—angry voices. Frowning, he made his way to Noah’s bedroom. When he got there, he stood frozen in the doorway and watched as two EMTs tried to calm Noah down as they worked on a fresh wound on his forehead.
What the fuck? How had he gotten hurt?
On top of that, Noah was screaming at Cameron. Zach might not be a fan of Noah’s FBI guardian, but he almost felt sorry for him at the moment. The man looked confused…and almost frightened. Apparently, he wasn’t accustomed to Noah voicing his opinion.
“What happened, Noah?” Zach asked as he walked into the room. With an authority he didn’t really possess, he told the EMTs to step aside, and he immediately started applying pressure to the head wound. “Are you okay, babe?”
“Does he sound fucking okay?” Cameron screeched, finding his tongue and balls as soon as he noticed Zach had arrived. “He’s losing his fucking mind and won’t listen to reason. You need to calm him down before I have him committed somewhere.”
Zach heard himself growl, and the look he sent Cameron’s direction must have successfully told the other man exactly what he thought about his comment. He opened his mouth to demand Cameron get the fuck out of Noah’s apartment, but Noah interrupted him.
“Don’t let him call them, Zach. Please don’t let him call. If he calls them, I’ll disappear. I won’t ever see you again. Please don’t let him. You’ve got to stop him. I’ve tried, but he won’t listen to a damned thing I say. You’ve got to reason with him,” he pleaded.
Noah’s words weren’t making a hell of a lot of sense. Zach decided his time would be better spent focusing on what Noah had to say, to find out what had happened while he’d been at work. “What happened, Noah? What upset you? Was it because of…me…and this morning?” He didn’t know how else to say it, especially with a room full of people he either didn’t know or didn’t like. The EMTs looked nervous as hell. Cameron looked rattled to his core.
“No, we’re good,” Noah answered quickly. “Cameron’s going to call the FBI and tell them what happened, though. That’s bad. You can’t let him do it. You can’t, Zach. You know what will happen to me.”
Noah’s blue eyes pleaded with him to do…something.
Cameron must have finally realized the danger of what Noah revealed because he quickly ushered the EMTs out of the bedroom, closing the door firmly in their faces after telling them to wait in the living room. The three of them listened as the EMTs’ footsteps faded as they walked down the hall. When they could no longer be heard, Cameron said, “Since it appears Noah has broken every rule regarding his safety, I guess you know about his past. No one is supposed to know who he is, but you do. Since you already know the ugly past he’s hiding from, you might as well know Moretti made contact with Noah this morning, left him some threatening notes. One in his gym locker and one on his refrigerator, which means Moretti has complete access to Noah. When he found the note in his apartment, it triggered a panic attack and he hit the alert button on his bracelet. They called me.”
Cameron sent an ugly frown in Noah’s direction. Noah flipped him off in response. Zach would have laughed if the situation hadn’t been so dire.
“Oh, yeah, Noah,” Cameron snarled. “That’s real cute, asshole. Flip me off. I don’t care. I have a job to do, and I plan on doing it. You can pout all you want. Your life is in danger. Moretti knows where you are! Hell, both our lives are probably in danger because of you and your inability to keep your mouth shut.”
Zach gave Noah’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze and said, “Tell me everything, Cameron. We both want to keep Noah safe, so let’s try to work together.”
“All you need to know is he’s threatening to call the FBI. He can’t do that, Zach. You can’t let him,” Noah pleaded.
Zach pulled out his phone and texted Connor, telling him he needed him—Moretti had found Noah. After sending the message, he checked beneath the gauze he had pressed to Noah’s head. The bleeding had stopped. The gash didn’t look bad enough to need stitches, but it was, unfortunately, in the exact place as his last head wound.
“Listen, babe,” he coaxed quietly. “Cameron’s job is to keep you safe and that involves informing the FBI Moretti has found you. He’s only trying to do what’s right.”
The look of fury and betrayal in Noah’s eyes took Zach’s breath away.
“You want them to take me away? To make me disappear? I know you don’t love me the way I love you, Zach, but I thought you cared for me. You’re okay with never seeing me again? Okay with not knowing where I am or if I’m safe?”
Of course, he wasn’t okay with any of that. He started to respond but then stopped as the truth hit him. The FBI would simply come in and force Noah to disappear again. He would never see him again; never know he was safe and not suffering with his mental health issues. He would never touch him again…never hear him say “I’m falling in love with you” again.
Forcing Noah to leave his safety zone was not only dangerous but it would cause a certain amount of mental anguish. Noah was right, the FBI couldn’t get involved, but convincing Cameron to not tell them was out of the question, too. Cameron hadn’t been a good caregiver, but Zach doubted he would do anything that would put his own safety in jeopardy. From what Connor had told him about Moretti, everyone within a ten mile radius of Noah would be in danger.
Moretti could bring it on as far as Zach was concerned. He’d gladly defend Noah with his life.
He turned to Cameron and asked, “Have you contacted them yet, Cameron?”
Cameron rolled his eyes in disgust and answered, “How could I? I’ve had crazy man screaming at me nonstop since he regained consciousness. Fuck, Doc. What have you turned him in to? I’m already at the point where I miss little Mr. Scaredy-Cat and the fuck knows I never thought I would make that statement.”
Zach noticed how Noah’s entire body grew taut from Cameron’s thoughtless words. He’d forgotten just how obnoxious the bastard behaved when it came to dealing with Noah’s phobias. “You aren’t crazy, Noah. Don’t listen to him,” he said. To Cameron, he ordered, “Shut the fuck up with that kind of talk. If you can’t say something to help the situation, then keep your goddamn mouth shut.” He was way past the point of worrying about what type of influence or power Cameron had over Noah.
“It isn’t that,” Noah answered in a voice quivering with fury. “I’m used to him telling me I’m crazy. I learned to ignore that shit for what it was. No, I’m talking about what he just called me. Scaredy-Cat.” His eyes narrowed as he glared at Cameron. “You’ve called me that hundreds of times, Cameron.”
“So? If the shoe fits…”
When Cameron shrugged and smirked, Zach clenched his fists and tried to come up with one reason why he shouldn’t punch the asshole straight in his face. He was actually about to do it when Noah’s next words pulled him up short.
“Apparently you aren’t the only one calling me that…or are you?” Noah asked quietly. “That’s what’s on my note, isn’t it, Cameron? The person who left me that note called me Scaredy-Cat too. You have access to my locker downstairs. You also have access to my apartment. Tell me, Cam, just how much money did Moretti pay you to keep an eye on me…to drug me with meds I not only didn’t need but that contributed to my paranoia?” Noah made a tsking sound between his teeth. “Wow, Cameron, Moretti is going to be very disappointed in you for making such a grade school mistake. Do you know what Moretti does to people he’s disappointed in? Did you ever stop to think about that?” Shaking his head in disgust while laughing at the same time, Noah finished with, “You are so fucking dead, Cameron. He’s killed people for much less than that.”
Cameron shook his head frantically, his eyes darting back and forth between Zach and Noah like he was trying to determine where the biggest threat came from. He started edging toward the door as he said, “You’re crazy, Noah. I’m not involved with Moretti. I work with the FBI. It isn’t my fucking fault you’re a scaredy-cat and every fucking person that comes in contact with you knows it. So I used the same nickname? Big deal! If Moretti has been watching you closely, I’m sure he’s heard me call you that and couldn’t help but agree with the accuracy of it. It isn’t like you work very hard to keep it a fucking secret.”
Zach moved to block Cameron’s escape, causing the smaller man to shrink back to the other side of the room. He was so furious he wanted to rip Cameron’s heart out while it still beat. His fury, however, centered on the fact he was being so disrespectful to Noah, not because he was convinced Cameron was in bed with Moretti. Something didn’t feel right with Cameron making such a blatant mistake. On the other hand, it wouldn’t be hard to see the man joining Moretti if it put an extra buck in his pocket. He clearly had no morals whatsoever.
“Are you working with Moretti, Cameron? Think long and hard about your answer…because your very life may depend on it,” Zach warned.
Cameron literally huffed and stomped his foot in outrage. “I don’t have to put up with this bullshit. I work for the fucking FBI!” He turned and glared at Noah. “I almost felt sorry for you, Noah. It was heartbreaking to watch you whine and cry over losing the first man that’s paid you any attention in years. I’d thought about telling my FBI liaison that removing you from your safe place and Dr. Meadows was a bad idea. Now I don’t give a flying fuck what they do with you. Hell, I hope you spend the rest of your life trapped inside that sick little mind of yours.”
“What’s going on in here?” Connor’s booming voice jerked everybody’s attention in his direction. He stood in the doorway with Wayne standing directly behind him, their large bodies sending out an intimidating message to Cameron.
“Thank the fuck. You’re a cop, aren’t you?” Cameron asked as he started moving in Connor’s direction. “I want to leave here, but that idiot”—he motioned to Zach—“won’t let me pass. Do your civic duty and get me to safety,” he demanded in the uppity voice Zach knew he would have nightmares about for years to come.
Connor’s gaze flickered to Zach, to Noah, and then back to Cameron. “Why aren’t you letting him leave, Zach? You do realize he’s Noah’s liaison with the FBI, right?”
Cameron stomped his foot again. “Fuck, Noah! Is there anybody you didn’t tell? Jeezus, your identity was supposed to be a fucking secret. It’s no wonder Moretti found you.”
Connor’s brows raised in shock and then his eyes hardened as he contemplated what Cameron had just revealed. To Zach, he said, “What’s happened? Why do we think Moretti has found him?”
“Get me out of here, and I’ll explain everything to you,” Cameron promised. “Both the notes are in the kitchen. Let me show you.”
Cameron suddenly turned into Mr. Helpful, but everybody in the room knew it was only because he wanted to make his escape. He moved and as soon as he was close enough to reach Connor, he grabbed his bicep and wrapped his fingers tightly around him. Connor shrugged his hands off and glared down at him. “Touch me again, and I’ll forget all about the badge I carry.” He turned to Noah and asked, “Can you explain everything that has happened to you, Noah? I’d rather hear it from you than this idiot.”
“He isn’t leaving here,” Zach argued. “Not until I have some answers from him about his involvement with Moretti.” Zach took one step in Cameron’s direction, but Connor stopped him by holding up his hand.
“Let it go, Zach. Even if Cameron is working with Moretti, he’s also working with the FBI. They’ll handle his involvement if there is any. We’re about to have enough FBI heat coming down on us without adding his bullshit into the mix. Now, can you or Noah explain to me what has happened today? I’d love to escort this fuck out of here and not have to deal with him anymore.”
“Excuse me?” Cameron roared in outrage. “You can’t talk to me like that. I’m Noah’s guardian. I make all the decisions where he is concerned. You really don’t want to piss me off.”
Connor bumped his larger body against Cameron and said, “No, you really don’t want to piss us off, little man. The last time I checked, the FBI isn’t here to protect you right now. Don’t push your luck.”
Swallowing down a gulp, Cameron muttered, “You’re all going to regret this. You won’t get away with treating me like this,” he vowed.
“Wayne? Can you show our guest out?” Connor asked. “Don’t let him take anything with him. Zach and I will need to see all the evidence of what’s happened today.” Turning back to Zach, he said, “Does Noah need the paramedics any longer? They’re still waiting in the living room.”
“No. Noah’s fine now. I’m here.” He nodded to Cameron and said, “Get him the fuck out of my sight before I kill him with my bare hands.”
“My pleasure,” Wayne answered as he grabbed Cameron’s upper arm and started tugging him out the door and down the hall.
They could hear Cameron’s threats with every step Wayne hauled him. Sadly enough, both Zach and Connor knew they weren’t empty threats. Cameron, unfortunately, held the power to do a lot of damage, whether it be through Moretti or the FBI.
When Cameron and the paramedics had left the apartment, the four man gathered in the living room to discuss what had happened. Zach insisted on holding Noah in his lap while they sat on the oversized sofa, and for once, Noah didn’t argue. He huddled his smaller body against Zach like it was the anchor keeping him sane.
Connor pulled some gloves out of his pocket and handed them to Wayne. “Put these on and bring those notes over here. Let’s see what we’re up against.” While Wayne followed those orders, Connor looked at Zach and asked, “Are you okay, Zach? Noah and I are both going to need you to hold it together. We need to see the threats and then come up with a plan on how to handle Moretti and the FBI.”
“They’re going to try and make me go away, aren’t they?” Noah asked. “They’ll take me and nobody will ever know where I’m at.” He turned to Zach and pleaded, “Don’t let them do it, Zach. Please don’t let them do it.”
“You aren’t going anywhere, babe.” Zach looked up at Connor and said, “They can’t make him, can they?” Before Connor could answer, Zach plowed ahead and said, “Because if they can, Noah and I are going to disappear right the fuck now. I’m not going to let them take him, Connor. You know this, right? I need you to tell me what I should do next. I know how to hide, Conn.” His eyes darkened when he added, “You know everything I’m capable of. Let me protect him.”
Connor frowned. “The FBI will certainly want to move Noah, to get him to safety as quickly as possible. Maybe it’s the best thing, Zach? I…I don’t know if we can keep Noah safe from Moretti. The man is dangerous.”
“So. Am. I,” Zach answered firmly. “Anyway, the FBI hasn’t done such a bang-up job protecting him so far, has it? They’ve allowed an idiot to see to his medical needs and, for all we know, that same idiot is the very person who told Moretti where to find Noah. Forgive me for not putting my trust in the FBI at the moment,” he spat.
“I don’t have to go,” Noah interrupted. “They told me at the very beginning that I didn’t have to enter the protective custody program if I didn’t want to. Since I didn’t have anything or anybody to keep me where I was, I decided entering the program was best for me.” He touched the side of Zach’s face with his hand. “Now I have something to want to stay around for, to fight for. They can’t make me go. When I panicked with Cameron, I hadn’t really stopped long enough to consider I wouldn’t have to go, that they couldn’t force me to do anything.”
“Is that true, Conn? Can he refuse protective custody?”
“Of course, he can refuse it,” Connor answered. “But, again, I don’t know if that’s what is best for Noah. Moretti knows where he is and obviously has, or has had, easy access to him. The man is dangerous, Zach. I…I know what this will do to you if you aren’t able to protect Noah.” Connor swallowed and then added, “It wouldn’t be forever, Zach. Just until the threat is…removed. You and I could work on removing that threat while the FBI protected Noah.”
“Absolutely not,” Noah argued. “I’m not going to risk your lives…allow you to do something to ruin the rest of your lives for me. I won’t do it.” Noah looked resigned to his fate. “Forget it. Connor’s right. I need to go with them. I’ve only been thinking about myself and what I want. I hadn’t even stopped to consider Moretti could kill either of you.” Shyly, he glanced up at Wayne, who stood off to the side, holding the notes Moretti had left. “Or risk Wayne’s safety. Hi again, Wayne. My name isn’t really John Doe. It’s Noah.”
“Yeah, uh, I kinda picked up on that. And, like Zach and Connor, I’m not worried about Moretti. If he comes for Noah, he’ll have to get through the three of us first.”
Zach’s eyebrow arched straight up to the top of his head. Either he’d underestimated the casual friendship with Wayne or Connor was the best fuck on the planet. What kind of person just dropped everything and committed to protecting a man he didn’t even know? Zach narrowed his eyes. A man who couldn’t be trusted perhaps…
“Don’t go there, Zach,” Connor hissed. “Wayne’s with me. I trust him, so you trust him. Got it?”
That was how things would normally go with their friendship. In an instant, Zach realized things had changed. Yes, he trusted Connor, but he wouldn’t be willing to blindly trust his best friend’s new lover simply because Connor had found himself smitten. No, he couldn’t be that naïve or stupid, not with Noah’s safety involved. He shrugged at Connor, not really committing to anything but not arguing either.
Connor raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. “This is perfect. We’re already fighting with each other…not trusting each other. When have you ever questioned my opinion, Zach? Why now?”
“Because Noah’s safety is too important, Conn. I’m sorry. You’re going to just have to deal with that,” Zach snapped.
“Stop it,” Noah ordered. “We don’t have time for this. Moretti will be coming and he’ll be coming quickly. I’ve received two warnings in one day. I don’t think he’s messing around.” He kissed Zach’s lips. “I know you’re worried about me. I’m worried about you, Connor, and Wayne. Just let me go with the FBI, Zach. I’ll get in touch with you as soon as it’s safe.”
“It isn’t something I’m going to even consider, so don’t mention it again. If Connor and his boyfriend don’t want to get involved, I understand. You and I will handle this together.” Zach pulled Noah into a tight hug, needing to feel the smaller man’s heart beating…needing to know he was safe.
“I don’t think you realize what you’re up against, Zach. Moretti is a killer. He’s evil. He has no morals and even less of a heart. I don’t want you involved with that kind of shit because of me. This kind of madness should never have touched a life like yours. It isn’t fair I’ve brought this to your doorstep. I’m going into protective custody. I’ll find a way to get a message to you once Moretti has been stopped.”
“Forget it, kid,” Connor interrupted. “I only said those things to Zach because I felt like it was my duty as his friend. I never fucking once thought he would consider letting you go.” Connor winked in Noah’s direction. “I told you this morning, he’s kinda hot for your body. When he gets like this, there’s no changing his mind.”
Shaking his head, Noah answered, “You guys aren’t making any sense. I can’t keep up.”
“I knew what you were doing, asshole,” Zach grumbled. “You knew there would be no way I’d let Noah out of my sight. So, what’s our plan going to be? Do Noah and I go on the run or stay here and wait for Moretti to make a move?”
“If we go on the run, we’ll always be looking over our shoulders. I think we confront him head on. I have some contacts at the prison where he’s being held. I’ll get in touch with them and see who his visitors have been. He may still be pulling all the strings, but he must be restricted somewhat due to the fact he’s behind bars. I may even be able to talk to the right people and get his visitors restricted. Cut off his lifeline, so to speak. Unfortunately, the FBI could go a long way with getting that done, but I doubt they’ll be willing to help us when Noah refuses their protection.”
“They can’t force him, though, right?” Zach asked again, needing to reassure himself they wouldn’t just come in and take him away.
“I doubt they would push it that hard. He’s already testified for them, so I’m not sure what would motivate them try and force him to do something he’s against.” Turning to Noah, he asked, “You aren’t scheduled to testify any more, are you?”
“No, I gave them all I had during the first trial, and it wasn’t much. I mean, they only got him for money laundering and a few other misdemeanors. It wasn’t like I had any information on the part of his life involving drugs, prostitution, human trafficking, and all the other disgusting business dealings he conducted.”
Zach’s eyes darkened at Noah’s words, but he pushed the thoughts from his mind. He had to stay focused on protecting Noah, not worrying about how closely his past resembled the life of the man determined to kill his lover. Drugs, prostitution, and human trafficking. Yeah, he’d been hip deep in all that shit with his father. Add selling illegal weapons to street gangs and murdering rival motorcycle gang members and his and Moretti’s lives could be mirror images of one another. Fuck it, but Noah was way too good for someone like him.
“Six years, right? He got six years and still has a little over two years left to go in his sentence. Why move now? It doesn’t add up? Why would he risk everything to go after Noah now?”
“Because he can,” Noah answered. “I was…acquaintances with his son for a while. The man is brutal. Dante was terrified of him. I don’t think his actions have to make sense to anybody except him.”
Wayne finally moved over to sit next to Connor, placing the notes on the coffee table in front of them. His eyes drifted up to Zach, but then quickly lowered again, no doubt seeing the blatant distrust. “This is the first note. The one Noah found in his locker in the gym.” Wayne pointed to one piece of paper. Everyone looked except for Noah.
One. Two. I’ve decided to come for you.
Zach’s heartbeat stumbled out of rhythm when he read the words. He could only imagine the fear that had clutched at Noah when he’d opened his locker to find that waiting on him inside. Hate for Moretti coursed through his veins, but so did pride for his lover. Noah had to have been terrified, but he’d still managed to make it back to his apartment. Zach squeezed him even tighter, only loosening his grip when he heard Noah squeak.
“This was in your locker?” he asked Noah.
“Yeah, hanging on the back wall. There wasn’t anybody in the locker room when I was in there, so it had to have been placed earlier. I was down there for almost four hours, so whoever did it had plenty of time to get in there, hang the note, and get back out. Did I recognize anybody? No, absolutely not. I did talk to that colorful guy from the seventh floor, Levi, while in the steam room. He was very friendly, asked about you, Zach. He said we should hang out sometime, get to be friends.” Noah hung his head. “I was really excited about the possibility of having a friend. Do you think he could be involved? He didn’t send out any icky vibes or anything.”
“I’ll call my contact from security to get Levi’s full name and then I’ll uncover every damned secret he’s got hidden in his life. If he’s involved, we’ll know about it within the next two days,” Connor vowed. “What else? Anything else happen that seemed different? Did you notice anybody new working out or just hanging out?” He paused and then added, “Any chance Cameron was around this morning, before or while you were working out?”
Noah shook his head. “Not that I saw, and I think I would have noticed. I…I don’t keep my head down as much as I used to. If Cameron had been anywhere near me, I would have seen him.” He frowned as he struggled to remember every detail from his gym visit. “I don’t remember anybody standing out. They were all the usual regulars. I didn’t feel threatened or like I was being watched. Nothing.”
“It’s okay, babe. We’ll figure this out,” Zach assured him. “The thing is, you need to be prepared to not be left alone until Moretti is taken care of. You need to promise me you’ll stay with either me or Connor. Always. No exceptions.”
Noah rolled his eyes and smiled. “You make that sound like a hardship, Zach. I love spending time with you guys…especially Connor,” he teased.
Zach beamed. “Look at you making jokes during our four-alarm fire. That’s my strong man,” Zach praised. “I’m so fucking proud of you, babe. You were absolutely giving Cameron hell when I walked in. You have no idea how much I enjoyed that bit of entertainment.”
“You have no idea how much I enjoyed entertaining you. I think I’ve had that shit built up inside me for a long time. He’s always been such an ass, and when I started screaming at him, I couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop.” Noah’s grin stretched across his face. “On top of that, I didn’t have a panic attack. Yes, I passed out cold and hit my panic button before falling, but it wasn’t a panic attack. Some people might argue with me, but I call that an improvement. Passing out is so much easier than enduring a panic attack,” he declared playfully.
“Okay, you two buttercups,” Connor interrupted. “If you can quit flirting with each other long enough, let’s turn our focus back to Moretti and his threats.” After winking at Noah, he added, “And just for the record, I call it a victory, too. I’m amazed and impressed at how calm you are right now, Noah. You’re a total badass in my book.”
“Mine too,” both Wayne and Zach chirped in. Zach frowned in Wayne’s direction but didn’t say anything.
“So, after you found the note in your locker, what happened next? Did you talk to anybody? Anybody try talking to you?”
“No, I started panicking, but mostly because I was unsure of how I needed to handle the situation. At first I wanted to call Zach, but then I was afraid I might be luring him into something dangerous. Then I thought about calling Cameron, but decided against that because he would report it to the FBI and I didn’t like what that would lead to. I was busy trying to come up with a solution, so I didn’t pay a lot of attention to what was going on around me as I made my way back to my apartment.” He frowned. “Actually, I was starting to fall back to my old fears and how I dealt with them. I counted my steps and hugged the wall.” He looked at Zach and said, “Maybe not a badass after all.”
“Nuh-uh, babe. You’re a total badass. Trust me on this.”
“On the elevator, I felt somebody watching me. Like creepy watching. I guess that’s because of all the security cameras though, right? They are everywhere.”
When Zach started to say something, Connor shook his head and said, “Don’t worry. It’s my next stop. There should be footage for me to review, although I doubt there would be anything available for the locker room since you guys get naked in there. Whoever came into Noah’s apartment should be on tape, though.”
“Unless there’s another glitch,” Zach snarled.
“Yeah, I have a bad feeling about that. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Moretti didn’t have somebody in place on the security staff. That’s the way he works,” Connor said with disgust.
“Do you trust the man you’ve been working with in the security department?” Wayne asked.
“He wouldn’t be my man if I didn’t trust him. Yeah, I feel good, but that doesn’t mean I don’t double-check and verify.” Connor’s eyes bore into Wayne’s until the other man blushed and nodded.
“Hey, when I stepped off the elevator, Denala was going crazy. She was on the other side of the door, barking and snarling something fierce. She knew somebody had been out there…somebody who didn’t belong.”
“Hmmm, that rules Cameron out. She knows him and hasn’t ever acted aggressive when he’s come to your apartment before,” Connor said.
“It doesn’t make him innocent, though,” Zach hissed. “That bastard is involved somehow. Nobody can be that lazy. Not only did he not offer you any true support, he assisted in over-medicating you.” He shook his head in disgust and then added, “I think I’m going to get Denala and the puppies. If she recognized stranger danger earlier, I want her with you all the fucking time. She might not be the best police dog out there, but she damned well knew something was wrong today.”
Before Zach could make any attempts to stand, Connor said, “Wayne and I will get the dogs. You stay with Noah. We’ll be back in a few. Keep brainstorming. Noah, try to remember everything, whether you think it’s important or not.”
Zach nodded his gratitude that Connor stepped up so he wouldn’t have to leave Noah’s side, not even for a few minutes. He was sick. Terrified. Furious. Losing control was his biggest fear. After his father’s arrest, he swore he would never allow himself to be in a situation where he wasn’t in complete control. All of a sudden, he felt like he had absolutely no control over the most important thing in his life.
“Why the frown?” Noah asked softly. “Are you afraid?”
Zach squinted and frowned. “I’m afraid for you, Noah. That’s all. Moretti doesn’t scare me. He isn’t the first bad person in my life and I doubt he’ll be the last. I’m just so fucking pissed off he’s managed to find you…to get close to you.” He grabbed Noah by the back of the neck and held him possessively. “I won’t let him take you from me. You’re mine.” That was the closest Zach could ever get to telling Noah how he felt about him. The baggage from his past weighed him down like the heaviest of anchors.
“I’m afraid for you, Zach. I’m afraid Moretti will hurt you to punish me. Do you have any idea how much I wish I’d never laid eyes on that man or any member of his family? I felt sorry for Dante, thought he was such a soft soul to have such an evil father, but you know what? I don’t even give a fuck about Dante. He used me. He wanted his father in jail and he used me to get him there. Over the years, I’ve tried to feel sorry for him, to tell myself I did the right thing by testifying, but in the end, I’m tired of trying to defend him. In my opinion, Dante belongs in the same shit category where his father lives. If…if they hurt you…”
“They aren’t going to hurt me. I need you to stop worrying about that. It isn’t going to happen. If Moretti realizes he can use your…your feelings for me to get to you, he won’t hesitate to do it. Always remember, Noah, he can’t hurt me. I can take care of myself.”
Noah snorted. “Right. You’re a doctor, Zach. You aren’t a criminal like Moretti.” He swore and shook his head in disgust. “I need to let the FBI hide me away. I’m so scared you or Connor will be hurt.”
“Connor is a police detective and has been trained to take care of himself.” Zach hesitated for a second and then continued, “And I know how to take care of myself as well. I’ve been on the receiving end of training. Don’t worry. When this is over, Moretti is going to wish he’d never tangled with Noah St. Claire. We are going to fuck him up for trying to intimidate you.”
“I know you don’t want to hear this, Zach, but I’m so in love with you. I wanted you from the first moment my eyes saw you. When you were an arrogant ass and treated me like shit, I still wanted you. Now that I’ve learned more about you, I’m totally in love. I know you aren’t looking for a commitment…might never be looking for a commitment, but you’re it for me. It’s fairytale bullshit, but I’ve been in love with you from the get-go.”
Zach felt entirely too uncomfortable with Noah’s words…with the look in Noah’s beautiful eyes. He needed a quick diversion, anything to pull the conversation away from love. Noah was still an innocent child. He didn’t understand love was nothing more than make-believe. As he struggled to come up with the perfect diversion, Noah’s cell chirped. He snatched it up before Noah could reach it. If there was something bad there, he didn’t want Noah to see it.
He frowned as he read Cameron’s text message. Surely he was misreading? He quickly sent a text to Connor, letting him know what Cameron said. He had a feeling Connor would have the same worries he did.
“What does it say? Is it another message from Moretti? Don’t try protecting me, Zach. I’ve got to know everything.”
Shaking his head, Zach answered, “Cameron says that the FBI has determined to not do anything at this time. To wait and see what Moretti’s next move is going to be.”
“That’s good, right? I’ve still got their protection, but they aren’t going to try and take me away?”
Noah looked so hopeful Zach hated to sprinkle his doubt and distrust into the mix. He hated it, but he wasn’t going to lie or keep anything from his lover. No, Noah needed to understand how dangerous this situation was. “Well, it’s good you will still have their umbrella of protection, I suppose.” He took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “It doesn’t make any sense though, Noah. Why would they wait? If they truly believe Moretti to be a danger, then what the fuck are they waiting for? Your location has been compromised. I don’t know much about the FBI and how they operate, but I’m sure it’s not in their manual to just allow you to remain in a dangerous situation. Oh, and I wouldn’t think they would send a text to say that to you,” he finished with a growl of frustration.
Noah pondered his words for a few seconds and then said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It doesn’t make sense.” His blue eyes lifted to look at Zach. “So, we’re saying Cameron is definitely involved on some level, aren’t we? Do you think the FBI even knows Moretti has made contact?”
“To be honest, I doubt it, Noah. I doubt Cameron told them anything. Do you have another contact at the FBI? Is it just Cameron?”
“Fuck,” Noah said as he nibbled at his bottom lip. “There used to be another guy, but then eventually everything fell to Cameron. I’m sure I have his information somewhere.” His eyes drifted to his computer. “Let me grab my computer and see if I can find any notes with his contact information on it.”
When he started to stand, Zach tightened his grip. “We’ll do that in a few minutes. Just let me hold you right now. We’ll dig for information when the detective and his not-so-trusty-sidekick get back. Right now, I want to focus on how good you feel in my arms. I was so afraid something had happened to you, Noah. When Cameron called me, I nearly lost it.”
Nuzzling Zach’s neck, Noah said, “Sorry I made you scared. I was so pissed at Cameron, so afraid he was going to take me away before I got to see you again.” He chuckled softly. “I might have been mean to Cameron…really mean.”
“Good,” Zach answered. “I have a feeling before all this is over, I’m going to be really mean to Cameron, too.”
“Why are you being so hard on Wayne? I thought you liked him okay. I remember him being at the hospital when they brought me in after the panic attack. He seemed nice enough.”
Zach grinned down at Noah. “Are you politely telling me I’m acting like an asshole?”
“Zach, you are acting like a fucking asshole,” Noah answered with his own grin. “It isn’t hard to see how much Connor likes him. You like Connor. It kinda seems like a no-brainer to me. You need to be nicer to Wayne.”
“If it were only me involved, I’d be okay. I’m not going to risk your safety. I’ll trust Wayne when he earns my trust, not a moment before. Connor will get over it.”
“Are you sure about that? I think Connor really, really likes him.”
“I’m sure. It’s in the best friend code. I can act like an asshole, and he is contractually obligated to forgive me. He doesn’t have a choice.”
“You’re an idiot,” Noah said with a laugh. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now…or maybe ever, but I just wanted to remind you I’m falling in love with you. I don’t think you heard me a few minutes ago,” he teased, knowing good and well Zach had heard him but chose to ignore his words. “Is there a contract for that? Do I have to forgive you for all ass-hole-ish-ness you partake in?”
Zach’s stomach tumbled and his heart stumbled when Noah said the L word again. He fucking loved hearing him say it, but it terrified him at the same time. He couldn’t say it back, would probably never be capable of saying it back. Noah deserved better. He opened his mouth and tried to think of something clever to say, something to cover the fact he was incapable of love and all things involved in relationships. Nothing came out.
Nothing.
“I know you hate talk like that. I shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable,” Noah apologized with a sad smile. “I…I just feel like time may be running out and I need to tell you how I feel.”
“Oh, hell, Noah,” Zach whispered. “Please don’t say things like that. I may not be what you deserve, but I can’t lose you. Not now. Maybe not ever.” That sounded so fucking lame. Zach hated himself.
“Okay, let’s take the heavy out of the air. Maybe you’ll like this statement of fact better than my L words. I knew I had a new neighbor, but I hadn’t caught a glimpse of anything other than your ass for the first few days. Don’t get me wrong. The ass was really nice. It left me wanting to see more, but no matter how quick I tried to move, I couldn’t get to the door before you were already past. So, the first time I actually saw you, all of you, was in the gym. You had on black shorts, and a red muscle shirt hugged all those hot muscles of yours like a second skin. You had these badass tattoos on virtually every inch of visible skin. You were the hottest damned sight I’d seen in my entire life.” He laughed and swiped his tongue against Zach’s earlobe. “It was also the first time my dick had gotten hard all by itself since I’d started taking so much medication. Right fucking there in front of everybody, my dick decided to wake up and say hello.” His lips pressed against Zach’s warm mouth. “You did that for me and you’ve done it every time since then.”
Normally those would be the words Zach longed to hear, physical attraction and nothing more. Hearing Noah say them was sexier than fuck, but they didn’t have nearly the same impact on his body the L word did.
“You were wearing green shorts and a black tank top. All those lean muscles, your slender build, pouty lips, and sexy eyes had the exact same impact on my body. I remember thinking you were going to be trouble. The kind of trouble I wanted to dive straight into.”
“I thought you hated me,” Noah whispered. “I was used to people thinking I was weird and trying to ignore me and I’d learned to not really give a fuck. When I realized you didn’t like me, it messed me up. I got pissed at myself for caring, lectured myself good for it, but I couldn’t stop how I felt.”
“I’m so fucking thankful you didn’t give up on me, Noah. I treated you like shit, but you kept giving me another chance. Thank you for seeing something in me worth fighting for.” Zach cleared his throat and added, “Don’t give up on me for the other, okay? I’m trying. My past…it’s just…it’s bad.” Zach was so sick of hearing himself make the same excuse over and over again. How could he expect Noah to not give up on him when he’d already given up on himself? He fucking hated the man he’d become.
The sound of Denala barking right outside the door and then the locking mechanism clicking saved Zach from saying something else he would probably eventually hate himself for. He turned to see Wayne enter the apartment, carrying the basket of puppies. Denala burst into the room and made a beeline for Noah. Before Zach could waste his breath and tell his dog not to jump on the sofa, the oversized German shepherd’s body plastered against Noah in her version of a doggie hug. Connor came in last, carrying some sort of strange-looking plant and looking like something bad had happened. He looked at Zach and said, “You know what Cameron sent you was bullshit, right?”
“Already figured that one out, but don’t know what our countermove should be.” He nodded at what Connor carried. “What’s that and why do you have it?” Zach asked, afraid of the answer. Noah’s body tensed and then his lover let out a frustrated hiss.
“It’s a spider plant.” To Connor, Noah said, “Is there a note?”
“Yeah, there’s a note. I haven’t opened it yet. One of the girls behind the desk just brought it up, said it had been delivered a few moments ago. They asked that she bring it up to Noah.”
Connor slid his hand into his latex glove again, pulled the card out and held it up to Noah. “Do you want me to open it?”
Noah shrugged. He looked defeated. “Sure. I think we both know what it’s going to say…or at least what it’s going to imply. Open it up. Let’s see what he’s got to say.”
“Five. Six. You committed a sin you can’t fix.”
Zach listened to Connor read the latest threat Moretti had sent Noah. He’d sworn he would never turn out to be like his father, but if Donovan Moretti were in front of him right now, he’d kill him without the slightest hesitation. The bastard was toying with Noah, trying to scare him, like a cat playing with a helpless mouse.
“The threats are coming fast,” Connor said. “I think this is good, at least to a point. We are getting an idea of his timeframe. For some reason, he’s rushed. For a man who’s supposed to be a brilliant crime boss, he’s not being very smart.” Connor shook his head. “I need to call my friend at the prison. See what’s happening there.” Without another word, he walked down the hall, leaving Zach and Noah to stare at the plant. Wayne followed on his heels.
“What’s the significance of the spider plant? Or is there a significance?”
“I’m afraid of spiders,” Noah answered in a dull voice. “Terrified of them, actually. I told Dante once. I guess he must have passed it on to his father or one of Donovan’s thugs overheard me telling Dante. Who knows? Who cares? The plant is a threat and the note is a threat.” He frowned. “Connor’s right, though. This seems sloppy and rushed for Moretti.”
“Yeah, well, his fucking death is going to be sloppy and rushed, too. I’m going to kill him for doing this to you, making you worry like this. Hell, I’m going to kill him for my own entertainment. Bottom line is the fucker is going to die.”