“Dad, it’s Saturday, and I really don’t want to go hang out at work with you today. I want to go play soccer. It’s the first day that hasn’t been cold in a long time. Please.”

“Let her go have some fun, David,” my mother pleads her case.

“Fine, but be back here by dinner time.” I join my mom on the front porch rockers. “You know she’s going to hang out with that boy,” I grumble.

“Yes, she probably is, but she’s a good girl, and all of her friends will be there too.”

“I don’t like her growing up so fast.”

“No parent ever does. You had your first girlfriend around the same age.”

“I still don’t like it.”

“You’ve been moping around here for two months now, growling about everything. When are you going to get your head out of your ass and go get the woman you love?”

“We’ve been over this several times. She wanted some time and I’m trying to give that to her. She’s been through a lot.”

“So have you.” Her soft, wrinkled hand pats my knee. “Waiting isn’t going to change the fact that you love her.”

“No…no it’s not, but it’s what she wants.”

“What about what you want?”

“I want my wife back,” I snicker.

“Therein lies the problem.”

“What are you talking about, Mom?” I turn to face her.

“Shay is not your wife.” She raises her hand to stop me from interrupting. “I know, you still believe she is Timber. But, Timber died twelve years ago. Even if she didn’t physically die, in her mind, she never existed.” She takes my hand in hers. “You need to ask yourself who it is you’re really missing. Maybe if you could answer that question truthfully, she wouldn’t need time and space.” She releases my hand and goes inside the house.

I lean back and rock, closing my eyes. I can’t separate Shay from Timber other than Shay is older. Maybe I’m just an idiot. She’s proven she’s not Timber, yet I can’t let go of the idea. Why would she want to be constantly compared to another woman?

I jump from the rocker and run inside, grabbing my keys off the old metal hook. I crank up the Wrangler and head to the outskirts of town to the cemetery on the side of the mountain overlooking Honeymoon Bridge. When Timber first died, I came here every day. There were times I would even sneak out here at night and sleep next to her headstone.

Her gravesite is the furthermost one out overlooking the edge. “Hey, baby,” I say, sitting on the grass next to her. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here in a while.” I run my hand across her name. “Emmalyn is growing up so fast. I wish you were here to help me through her teenage years. I swear she’s aged me ten years in the last few months.” I close my eyes and feel the breeze blow across my face as if it’s Timber’s way of responding to me. “I miss you. God knows I’d give anything to have you with me.” I inhale deeply, trying to find the courage to do what I came here to do. “I’ve met someone.” I half chuckle. “She looks just like you, in fact, I’d swear she was you. Except, there are subtle differences. You had the best laugh. Her laughter is dulled by years of insecurities or maybe loneliness does that. Her eyes are not as expressive as yours, but they are the same deep, dark, rich color.”

“Shay. Her name is Shay.” I swallow down hard the lump in my throat saying her name to Timber. “The one thing that is the same, I love her as deeply as I loved you. I’m finding it hard to let go of us. I need to know that you are okay with it.”

“Dad. What are you doing here?”

I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Emmalyn’s voice. I hop off the ground and rub the grass off my jeans.

“What are you doing here?” I ask back.

“I’ve been coming out here every weekend. Grandpa usually brings me on his lunch break.” Her bike is lying off to the side.

“I…I didn’t know that.”

She walks over to the headstone and places a kiss on Timber’s name. “I heard what you were saying to Mom.” She’s looking down, and I can’t read her expression.

“What exactly did you hear?” I walk over to the opposite side of the headstone, so I can see her face.

“She was here, wasn’t she? She was the lady I ran into outside the market?”

I watch her carefully as she rubs her hand on top the marble. “Yes, that was Shay.”

“I thought she was Mom, too.”

I kneel down in front of her, brushing a long braid off her shoulder and then take her hands in mine. “She came here for a vacation, and she was staying in our cottage. I just knew she was your mother. Turns out, she’s Wolfe’s sister.”

Her brows draw together. “She didn’t look like Wolfe.”

I laugh. “No, they look nothing alike.”

“She’s part Indian like Mom?”

“Yes. I think that’s why I thought they were one in the same. They have very similar characteristics.”

“So, if you are in love with her, when do I get to meet her?”

I look between the name on the headstone and Emmalyn. “It’s complicated.”

“You don’t have to worry.”

“Worry about what?” I’m confused.

“Mom would be happy for you. She’d be sad thinking you’d be alone all these years.”

“And you know this how?”

“She and I have talked about it plenty of times.” Her eyes are dead serious.

“Sweetie, you know she can’t really hear us when we talk to her?”

“Yes, she does. I hear her right here.” She places her hand over her heart. “I feel her warmth inside when we talk. You’ve always told me that she lives inside me. How could someone live inside me and me not hear them?” She cocks her head.

I can’t argue with her logic. My lip trembles. “You are just like your mother. She could sense things. I used to tease her that it was some type of Indian magic.”

“Maybe I should use some of that Indian magic for you to get your head out of your ass.”

I burst out laughing. “Now you sound just like my mother.” I pull her to me for a hug. “I love you, kiddo.”

“I love you too, Dad. But, seriously, why are you still here if you’re in love with her?”

I hold her back at arm’s length. “That’s a really good question. Come on, I’ll put your bike in the back of the Wrangler and drive you to the soccer field.”

“Does that mean you are going to go get her?” She is all smiles.

“That is precisely what I’m going to do.”

She climbs in the passenger side while I throw her bike in the back.

“Dad.”

“Yeah?” I shut the door.

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

“I’m not promising anything. There is a good chance she won’t come back with me.”

“You’ll have to win her over. Oh, but don’t wear that silly baseball cap of yours…and maybe brush your hair.”

I look over at her and laugh. “Anything else?”

“You might want to do something with the beard.”

I rub my hand over the soft scruff. “I kind of like it. Don’t women love men with beards and tattoos?”

“You could clean it up a bit.”

“When did you become such a grown-up?” I glance over at her.

She rolls her eyes at me. “I’ve been telling you I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“No…no you are not.” I chuckle.

I drop Emmalyn off and head to the office with one goal in mind. I log onto my computer and look up flights to California. I’ve given her plenty of time and space. I don’t want to keep putting my life on hold. I want her in it every day. I’ve spent my weekends at the cottage since she left, building a sound room for her in the back. I made sure it had a small window where she could look out and see the deer. I was hoping she would come to me, but I’m not waiting a minute longer.