Harmony

My body ached. My head hurt the worst of all. Opening my eyes, I looked up at someone who was smiling back at me. “Welcome back, Harmony.” Smiling, she said, “Let me go get your brother.”

Turning before I had a chance to even ask about Trey and the baby, she vanished through the door. Closing my eyes, I snapped them back open. All I saw were his green eyes looking into mine. The fear in his eyes had scared me, yet there was something in those eyes that captured me as well. It was as if I’d seen those eyes before in my dreams.

The door slowly opened and Jake walked in. He smiled but it didn’t touch his eyes. It was probably the fakest smile I’d ever seen my brother wear. Before the door closed all the way, I looked out and saw green eyes staring back at me. Again.

“Harmony, sweetheart, how are you feeling?” Jake asked as he approached the side of my bed.

My mouth was so dry I couldn’t talk. Pointing to my mouth, I looked into Jake’s eyes.

“Water?” he asked. “You need water?”

I nodded as Jake leaned down and kissed my forehead. “Shit. Let me go grab some.”

Watching Jake open the door, I strained to see if he was still there. He was. This time he walked up to Jake and spoke to him. Nodding, he took the water pitcher from Jake and walked away. The door almost closed but Jake pushed it open.

“Just one second, sweetheart; Preston’s going to get you some water.”

Preston.

Preston is taking care of him.

Opening my mouth, I attempted to talk but Jake shook his head. “Shh, Harmony, let’s wet your whistle, okay? Don’t try to talk just yet.”

The door opened and Preston walked in. Pushing his hand through his brown hair, Preston set the pitcher down, but not before looking into my eyes. Something happened between us. Words couldn’t describe it, but I knew he felt it too because his mouth dropped open and his eyes pinched together as he poured a glass of water and handed it to my brother.

Jake reached behind me and lifted my head as I took a drink.

“Small sips, Harmony. We don’t want you getting sick from drinking too much.”

I couldn’t pull my eyes off Preston as I took a few small sips.

“Um…I’ll just wait outside.”

Jake turned to him and said, “Thanks, Preston. You’re not leaving, right?”

Pulling my lips from the plastic cup, I spoke. “Wait.” My voice sounded strained. As if it had been months since I last spoke a word.

Preston froze, as did Jake. Preston stood with his back to me. “Please tell me. TJ, is he okay? Is my baby okay?”

Jake’s lower lip trembled as he pulled back and set the water on the table. My heart raced, nearly exploding. I began to gulp in breaths…the feeling of not getting enough air was beginning to scare me.

Jake’s expression turned slack as his eyes began to get wet.

“Jake…where is TJ? What about Trey? Is he okay?” Tears fell freely from my eyes as I watched my brother turn white as a ghost.

My eyes darted to Preston’s back. “Preston. You…you saved him, right? It was you? I remember…you saved him, right?” My body shook as sobs took over. I didn’t even care that everything on me hurt.

Preston slowly turned around, his movements lacking the energy to even move his body.

The moment his eyes captured mine, I knew. “Please tell me you saved him. Please.”

Jake’s head dropped as he cried. Preston looked at Jake and then back to me. As he took a step forward, his eyes never left mine.

“Harmony, I tried with everything I had…but…I couldn’t…I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to…to…”

Shaking my head, my lower lip trembled as I whispered, “No.”

Closing his eyes and dragging in a deep breath, Preston whispered, “I wasn’t able to save your son.”

Covering my mouth with my hand, I let out a scream as Jake quickly wrapped me up in his arms. Pushing him away, I began getting out of the bed. “No! I don’t believe you. Please take me to him!”

Preston grabbed me before I fell to the floor. “Harmony, please get back into bed. You can’t be getting out of bed.” Looking into Preston’s eyes, I saw his pain and it about destroyed what little hope I had left. “I’m so sorry, Harmony. I’d give anything to take this away.”

Falling into Preston’s arms, I cried into his chest. “Please, please God, no.”

Preston held me tighter to him as he whispered, “I’m so sorry, Harmony.” I lost all control. The door to my room opened and two nurses came rushing in.

“No! My baby! Not my baby! Why? Dear God, why?” I screamed out as one of the nurses attempted to place me back in the bed.

“Go get a doctor, quickly. We’re going to need to sedate her!” the nurse called out to the other nurse. Turning to look at Preston, I noticed he was crying and my heart broke even more knowing he was in pain as well. I heard it in his voice. I saw it in his eyes.

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes and went limp as I called out one last time, “Not my baby, please not my baby.”

The room was dark. The only light that could be seen was coming from the flashlight on his phone that he must have turned on to read with. Staring at him, I took everything in. Preston held a book in one hand and his phone in another. Both looked like they would slip from his grip at any moment. His light brown hair was a mess. His body looked cramped as he slept in the chair. Turning away, I stared at the ceiling as the realization hit me again. I had lost them both. As I’d been dealing with the shock of losing my son, Jake had told me that Trey died on impact. My heart ached more than I could have ever imagined. Shaking my head, I slipped into a memory.

“I will forever protect you, my sweet baby boy.”

Trey walked up and kissed TJ on the forehead as I walked around the living room.

“The only way to keep him from crying is to carry him around in my arms.”

Trey smiled and shook his head. “You don’t seem too bothered by that.”

Laughing, I replied, “Nope, not at all. I’d do anything for him. I’d give up my own life for him.”

Walking back up to us, Trey looked down at our three-week-old son and whispered, “As would I.”

The sound of Preston’s phone buzzing pulled me from my memory. He jumped up. Closing my eyes, I pretended I was still asleep.

“H-hello?”

I could hear someone talking. Rather, yelling on the phone.

Opening my eyes, I turned to look at him. Just as I expected, he was standing with his back to me as he looked out into the darkness that stood on the other side of the window.

“Shit, Sherry, I’m so sorry. Things just got really crazy and I didn’t want to leave Jake and—”

More shouting. His body tightened and his hand went up to his hair, where he grabbed a fistful of it before pushing it all the way through. That explained his hair. Now I just needed to figure out why the firefighter who attempted to save my son’s life was sleeping in my hospital room.

“I understand I haven’t been back home. It means something to me, Sherry. I can’t leave her. She only has her brother.”

Biting my lower lip, I felt tears begin to well in my eyes.

I can’t leave her. She only has her brother.

Turning away from him, I squeezed my eyes shut and forced the tears to stay at bay. Opening my eyes, I saw the water and my mouth was instantly dry. Reaching for the tray, I attempted to move it closer, but all I did was hit the bed and make a loud noise.

“Sherry, I promise we’ll talk when I come back home. I’ve got to run. Yes. I promise.”

The next thing I knew, Preston was standing there pouring water into the cup and reaching down to help me drink it.

After a few sips, I whispered, “Thank you.” Preston slowly let my head rest back on the pillow.

Smiling, he said, “Sure.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I wanted to know why he was here, but I had overheard his reason. Maybe that wasn’t the reason though. My guess was he felt guilty and was now trying to play the hero by taking care of me. The thought made me angry.

“Why are you here, Preston? If you’re here because you feel guilty, you might as well just leave.”

The hurt in his eyes caused my stomach to drop. He slowly took a step back and nodded. “Right, um…I can leave if you’re not comfortable with me being here.”

I wanted to take the words back the moment they left my lips. Preston’s voice was laced with sadness and I knew the words I had spoken were the reason why.

“Jake went home to take a shower and eat, but I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

Giving me a weak smile, he turned to leave. Turning and looking out the dark window, I softly spoke. “Preston, wait.”

His footsteps stopped, but I knew he hadn’t turned back around. “Harmony, I’m not here because I’m trying to be a hero. I’m here because I’m genuinely concerned about you…and your brother Jake. He hasn’t slept at all and barely eats.”

A tear slowly moved down my cheek as I looked at him and asked, “Why?”

Turning around and walking up to the side of my bed, he asked, “Why?”

Our eyes met and once again, that feeling I knew we both shared moved throughout my body. A small sob escaped my lips as I tried to keep my crazy emotions at bay. “Why are you concerned about me?”

Shrugging his shoulders, he looked away briefly before glancing back at me. “I guess maybe it’s because we share a loss. I’ve never…I mean…I’ve never had…” Turning, he spoke under his breath.

“You’ve never what?” I asked as my stomach felt sick.

Chewing on his bottom lip, he nodded. “I’ve never lost…a child…” His voice cracked and his words broke off as he looked away. “I’m sorry. My loss is nothing compared to yours. It’s just…I felt a connection with you.” Rolling his eyes, he dropped his head back. “Jesus, I’m making myself sound like a real douche.”

Smiling slightly, I reached for his hand. “I don’t think you are.” His thumb moved across my skin and it instantly made me think of Trey. He would do the same thing with his thumb. My heart felt as if it would never heal. I would forever be broken from losing not only my son, but my husband as well.

“I feel the connection, too, Preston, and I appreciate everything you’re doing for both Jake and me. But it sounds like your girlfriend might be upset.”

Preston chuckled. “When is she not upset?”

The door opened and Jake walked in. He looked refreshed and wore a smile on his face.

“Hey, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling?”

Giving Jake a fake smile, I tried to give him peace of mind that I was somewhat okay. Once I had calmed down after learning about TJ, I knew almost immediately that Trey had also died in the wreck, only to have Jake confirm it for me. My crying had given way to exhaustion, then sleep. I’d woken up off and on and, at one point, heard Preston telling Jake to go get a few hours of sleep.

“What time is it?” I asked as I glanced back at Preston.

Pulling out his phone, Preston said, “It’s five thirty in the morning.”

Squeezing his hand, I smiled bigger. “Preston, go home to your girlfriend. I promise you, I’m all right.”

His eyes searched mine. He knew I was lying, but he nodded and said, “Okay. But I’ll be back later to check on you and Jake.” Preston looked over at Jake, who gave a wide grin and a thumbs-up to Preston.

Oh yeah. My brother was for sure trying his best to put up a front. I didn’t have the energy to even think about it.

“Sounds good,” I said as I closed my eyes and let sleep take over again.

I was soon lost in the most amazing dream. I was chasing TJ in the backyard as we played chase.

My baby. I miss my baby.