chapter 20
Scarlett
DID YOU MAKE ALL this yourself?” I ask Jaxon as he pulls everything out of the picnic basket. Bread, different cheeses, crackers, olives, sun-dried tomatoes, wine . . . He’s thought of everything.
“No,” he admits, looking a little sheepish. “There’s a place that sells everything just like this, so you just buy it and you’re good to go.”
“That’s a pretty cool idea,” I say as I cut a slice of cheese and place it on a cracker. Tonight he’s taking me to the concert. Are these things normal men do? I have no idea. I think I need to find some girlfriends so I can talk about these things.
“I’m glad you like it,” he murmurs, popping an olive into his mouth.
“Not as much as I liked last night,” I mutter under my breath, then grin cheekily and take a bite.
Jaxon stills, then starts laughing, his shoulders shaking. “Plenty more where that came from.”
“There’d better be,” I say, lip twitching.
He leans over and wipes a little cheese from my lip with his finger. “Feeling bold today, are we?”
“And less tightly wound,” I add, laughing when he shakes his head at me in exasperation. “I haven’t had an orgasm in quite a while, okay? I forgot how good they are. And that one . . . well, it was indescribable.”
“Is this your usual picnic conversation?” he asks, kissing me on the temple, his tone laced with enjoyment. “Or maybe you just feel more comfortable around me now.”
“I think this is the first official picnic I’ve ever been on,” I tell him. “How about you? Been on many picnics?”
“Only one,” he admits, pouring some wine into two glasses. “I think it was with my first serious girlfriend. I was trying to be romantic, but it didn’t exactly work out.”
“What happened?” I ask, wishing it was me who he’d met back then. How different my life would have been. Then again, we probably wouldn’t be together right now. Timing is everything, after all.
“I put some candles all around the blanket, except one of them fell over and the blanket caught on fire,” he explains, cringing. “I didn’t get laid that night.”
I cover my mouth with my hands, then start laughing, unable to control my reaction.
“Glad you’re amused,” he grumbles, trying to sound put out, but I don’t miss the twitch of his lip.
He’s secretly amused too.
“So you weren’t always smooth, huh?” I tease, lying back on the blanket and turning to face him. “And how come I don’t get any candles?”
“Because I learned my lesson the first time,” he says, leaning over me and giving me a lingering kiss. “I liked spending the night with you last night.”
“All we did was sleep,” I point out. I thought maybe he would’ve reached for me in the middle of the night, but he didn’t. I have the feeling he’s letting me call the shots, letting me decide how fast or slow we go, and I like that about him. I can’t lie though, sometimes it makes me question whether he wants me as much as I want him.
“I know. It was a good sleep, and I loved having you in my arms,” he says, kissing me again. “Why, what did you want to happen?”
I purse my lips as I think how to word this. “I don’t know. I thought you’d maybe make love to me. I know you’re waiting for me to be ready, but I am.” I sigh and add, “I guess I’m just going to have to keep making the first move, aren’t I?”
“Babe, you slept like a log last night. You didn’t wake up once, so I don’t think you could have made the first move even if you’d wanted to.”
“Well, tonight is another night, isn’t it?” I say, lifting my chin. “And you know what? I still haven’t seen your house. What are you hiding there?”
“You can come stay at my place if you like.” He grins, kissing my forehead. “You can see what I’m hiding for yourself.”
“I think it’s going to be super clean and tidy, just like your office.”
“The office has a cleaner.”
“Maybe your house has a cleaner too, then,” I fire back, taking an olive and some feta cheese and putting it into my mouth. I chew slowly as we both watch each other. “Jaxon.”
“Scarlett.”
“I would’ve slept with you even if you had almost set me on fire,” I tell him, smirking. I’m in a playful mood today, I just feel so happy. Jaxon is one of the first people I can spend time with without still feeling lonely. I never knew what I was missing out on until now.
He shakes his head, then lies back on the blanket next to me.
We look up into the sky, my arm touching his, and just enjoy being in each other’s presence.
It’s comfortable between us, whether we’re talking or being silent. It’s intimate, whether we’re kissing or not, and I feel safe.
Safe.
A notion I thought impossible.
But here we are.
And I’m going to enjoy every second, and live it like it’s my last.
AFTER THE CONCERT, WE go back to Jaxon’s house. It’s everything I thought it would be—a modern spacious house decorated in neutral tones, and the biggest TV and couch I’ve ever seen.
“It’s stunning,” I say, looking around. “It’s the classiest bachelor pad I’ve ever seen.” I then add, “Okay, I think it’s the only bachelor pad I’ve been in, but still.”
He laughs at that and grabs me a bottle of water from his fridge while I look at the photos on his shelf. “Who is this? She’s beautiful.”
She has dark hair and an olive skin tone and stunning green eyes. In the picture, she’s looking at the camera, but he’s looking at her. And the way he’s looking at her, I can tell that he adores her. Is this an ex-girlfriend?
“Olivia,” he says, handing me the water and then pulling me away from the shelf. I take it he doesn’t want to talk about it. What happened to this Olivia? How come he’s never mentioned her? I decide not to press it, because he can talk about it in his own time, if he ever chooses to open up to me. The thought that he might not hurts. But if he needs time, I can give him that. He’s been so patient with me, so I can be patient with him. He gives me a tour of his house. When we stop in his bedroom my jaw drops at the size of his bed.
“That’s the biggest bed I’ve ever seen. It looks bigger than a king!” I sit down on it and stare up at him. “What do you need such a big bed for? Been having many orgies lately?”
He throws his head back and laughs, then decides to give me some shit back. “Have you been watching more videos? This time with orgies in them?”
I stick my tongue out at him, then lie back on the bed. “It’s so comfortable.”
“I had it custom-made for my room,” he explains, sitting down next to me, and resting his hand on my bare stomach as my top rides up. “Do you want to have a shower?”
“With you?” I ask, brows rising. “Do you think I’m going to say no to that?”
“I should hope not,” he says as he starts to undress me. I lay there, holding my breath as he removes my jeans first, then my panties, then my top and bra. I watch him, as he takes in my body, from head to toe, nothing hidden. It’s quite a vulnerable thing, to have a man with a perfect body look at mine. I’m a little on the curvy size, but I’m not overweight or anything like that. Still, I’m far from perfect. Darren would tell me I needed to lose weight, but the look in Jaxon’s eyes tells me that he likes what he sees. He likes me just the way I am.
Acceptance.
Another new thing for me.
He starts to strip down, and now it’s my turn to watch. He gives me a bit of a show, removing his T-shirt and flexing for me, which makes me laugh and get hot at the same time. My eyes are still glued on those abs of his when he takes off his jeans and boxer shorts.
He’s hard.
Why do I feel like he’s always hard?
“Come on,” he commands in a husky tone, offering me his hand. I take it, and he walks me into his bathroom, which might just be my new favorite room in his house. It’s lavish, with a wide two-headed shower and a spa.
“Wow,” I murmur, while he turns on the water. “Remind me to get the details of your interior designer.”
I feel him freeze up next to me, and I know something is wrong. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” he says, brushing it off. “Don’t worry about it.”
He goes cold, and for a second I feel a little awkward. Why won’t he just tell me whatever it is that gets to him? Does it have something to do with Olivia? I don’t know. I know I shouldn’t push, but I don’t want to have to watch what I say to not have him go cold on me and ruin the moment between us.
“You can’t do that, Jaxon,” I decide to say, in a soft tone. I don’t want to start our first argument, but I want him to know that it doesn’t exactly feel good when he shuts me out.
Gray eyes soften. He takes me in his arms, and places me under the warm water. My hair gets wet, and even though I washed it this morning, I don’t mind.
“It’s not something I like to talk about,” he explains, water dripping down his body. “I just need a little time before I can talk about it. Can you give me that?”
“Okay.”
I can leave it alone for now and hope that, when he’s ready, he will talk about it. I lift up on my tiptoes and kiss him. The perfect distraction. The mood shifts and everything else is forgotten for now. He pushes me back against the cold tiles, kissing me deeply, his hands wandering down the sides of my stomach and landing on my butt. He grips it, and lifts me up, pinning me against the tiles. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders. He’s strong, and it’s so sexy. Everything about him is sexy.
Including his mind. Especially his mind.
His dick is hard against my skin, so hard. “I want you,” I say against his lips, droplets of water trying to escape into my mouth. “Please, Jaxon.”
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” he says, about to put me down, but I want him here, like this, and right now. We can make love in the bedroom afterward; right now I want him to take me against the wall. I’ve never been fucked in this position, never been held up like this before, and it’s exciting and new and I want to experience it with him.
“No, here. Please.”
I think it’s the begging that gets to him, because one moment he looks like he’s not sure, and the next he’s slowly sliding himself inside of me.
I dig my nails into his back and hold on for dear life.