Griff swallowed hard as he followed behind Lou Ellen down the hallway. His eyes burned as fiercely as his chest hurt when he walked into the living room, which was only lit by the lights on the tree and saw Layla and Jayden fondling their gifts., smiling as they shook each one close to their ear and whispered what they thought was inside.

Sucking in a breath, he went over and knelt beside Layla. She cast him a hot look, then ignored him to pick up another gift. “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. I do care about you greatly, but thought dragging things out would only hurt you more.”

She snorted. “Saying goodbye before you left isn’t dragging things out, asshole,” she growled as she shook the box by her ear.

“Layla!” Lou Ellen reprimanded sharply.

“This isn’t the time for―what did you call it? The rules of polite society? He left me too,” she replied, her voice shaking.

“I left to keep you safe—to keep all of you safe,” Griff said, huffing a frustrated breath. “The way I left was wrong, and I’m so damned sorry, Shortie.”

“Don’t call me that,” she growled, her eyes swinging to him. “Only my friends call me that and you don’t qualify anymore.”

He gripped her quivering chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I love you, Layla. I wish I hadn’t abandoned you, but I did. I am an asshole for doing it. If you forgive me, I promise to never do it again.” Her eyes filled and Griff’s did too when she jerked her face away.

“Your promises mean nothing to me, and you won’t have another chance.” She scrambled up to her feet and put her hands on her hips and glared down at him. “You hurt her too,” she said pointing at Lou Ellen, but holding his eyes. “That is something that can never be forgiven, because she is the best woman I’ve ever met.”

Jayden stood up beside her. “She is the best woman we’ve ever met, and I don’t know you well, but because you hurt her, I don’t like you either. You should leave.”

Griff glanced at Lou Ellen, who stood observing with her arms crossed over her chest. He knew when to accept defeat, and it was now. He’d let them have their Christmas in peace, but he wasn’t giving up.

Before New Years Day, Lou Ellen would accept his apology and agree to marry him. She was the best woman he’d ever met too, and he could not imagine living the new life she’d given him without her. That would be the ultimate hell on earth.

---

Two days later, Griff used his new cell phone to call Dave Logan and leave a message. It had taken him that long to digest the monumental stack of paperwork in the envelope, which he’d only skimmed the night he received it, and find the job offer.

So far today, he’d gone to get a new driver’s license, applied for a new passport and opened a bank account to deposit the huge check for back pay and pension from the CIA, made payable to Frank G. Robinson. Monthly deposits equal to his former salary would also be made into his new account for the rest of his life.

The apology note from the supervisor he’d almost killed at the funeral was addressed to Griff. That, his death certificate and the intel dossier assuring that Abu Sayyaf was almost decimated, as instructed, were shredded at the media center at the hotel where he was staying at their expense.

He had nothing to worry about now except making a new life for himself. He was determined that new life would include making Lou Ellen Wells his Mrs. Robinson forever. Toward that goal, he was going shopping for her Christmas gift today, and gifts for the kids, getting a haircut and buying a new suit. The beard itched badly, but he’d continue growing it back, so the age thing didn’t bother her.

The final thing he would do today was accept the job offer Logan had included in the envelope before he gave it to him. He was sure Lou Ellen wouldn’t be happy about that right now, but it would put him in a good position to wage his assault on her heart. It would also give him something to do to keep him occupied and feeling productive. Every penny he earned would be given to her to help with expenses for Layla and Jayden.

Griff sighed, feeling lighter inside than he had in five years. There was so much hope inside of him, he felt like his chest might explode. The only thing that would make him feel any better was if Queenie would forgive him. Operation Win Queenie Back was commencing at zero twelve hundred.

---

They were working at the downtown office this week, and Lou Ellen hated it. She wanted to be out in the country at the compound, where she could hide out from the public. The tears she said she would no longer shed had their own plan, and she guessed until her body became a desert wasteland, they would continue to flow at will.

But mostly, she managed to confine them to her bedroom.

She had never been a crier, so this sudden penchant for the waterworks pissed her off. The scene with Griff and the kids under the Christmas tree had broken her heart again. It kept replaying in her mind and the guilt was relentless.

She’d felt his pain and desolation as if it were her own. It took everything in her to prevent herself from stopping him, as he walked out the door. But she’d done it. She’d let him go and he’d never be back to bother them. Lou Ellen should be happy and relieved, but those two emotions had no place in how she was feeling. Or how the kids were feeling, for that matter.

They all missed him and she had many daily moments where she second-guessed her knee-jerk reaction to cut him out of their lives.

“Two more days until the new year, Queenie,” Slade said as he walked in with Lola at his heels. “Next year is going to be amazing.”

Like she did every morning, Lou Ellen opened her bottom drawer and pulled a bacon treat out of the bag she kept there for Lola. She held it out because she knew the dog would be there waiting beside her chair. After Lola snapped it up, she licked Lou’s hand and got a scratch between her ears. So normal and mundane this morning ritual, but Lou Ellen needed that lick today badly and Lola seemed to sense it because she lingered there to nuzzle her face against her palm. Tears burned her eyes, but she growled and held them back.

Slade’s smile fled and his eyebrows crashed together. “You still pining over that bastard?” he snarled, his eyes sparking fire. “Or has he been bothering you again? I know where to find him, and Lola will chew his balls off.”

“He’s definitely bothering me, but hasn’t been around,” she replied with a sigh. “No ball chewing is necessary, but thanks for the thought.”

“I told Logan we should just kick his ass on Christmas Eve instead of dragging him to your house, but he wasn’t listening. I’m sorry he hurt you.”

The office door opened again and Logan strode in. He stopped at the coat rack to take off his jacket. “Morning, Lou,” he grumbled as he hung it and his scarf on the coat rack. “Has Garrison called about that case this morning? He was all on fire about it last week, but I haven’t heard a damned thing since.”

Mundane. Normal. But when he turned to look at her then stopped to stare, her eyes burned again, dammit.

“Why are your eyes so puffy?” he growled. “Are you sick?”

Yes, she was sick. Heartsick. Ugh, stop being a wussy woman!

“I’m fine,” she hissed. “And if you two would just leave me alone, I might be able to get some work done this morning. No, Garrison hasn’t called,” she said to Logan, then turned her eyes on Slade. “I need your expense report from the last operation two months ago on my desk today. I have to close out these books to give them to Gray for year end.”

Slade grinned and snapped off a salute. “That’s a roger, General, and I’m glad to see you back, ma’am.”

Logan laughed and shook his head as he walked to his office. When his door closed, she wilted in her chair, but the office door opened again. She expected Caleb to appear, because that was the usual order of arrival at the office. But all the blood in her body drained to her feet when a tall, handsome man in an expensive business suit walked in.

Her mouth opened, but no words came out when her eyes met a pair of bright blue eyes, made brighter by neatly combed salt-and-pepper-colored hair and a perfectly trimmed matching beard. She melted lower in her chair as he held her eyes and walked toward her desk.

“Good morning, Queenie,” the man she knew, but didn’t know at all, said as he reached inside his jacket to pull out a single red rose and hand it to her. “You look especially beautiful today, my love.”